Truly, this was a new and novel form of torture. He was being forced to sit in the drawing room, overseen by the Dowager Marchioness of Ashford, and Mrs. Gardiner, as gentleman callers came to pay compliments and give flowers to both Bennet sisters. But he had made a vow and his honor was sterling, and he would not besmirch his own by backing out of it. The only saving grace to the whole affair that, true to her word, Lizzy seemed disinterested in courting favor from any of the gentlemen, and instead seemed to rely on Darcy's good (or bad) opinion of the callers who wished to speak with Jane.

But being so close to her, hearing her laughter, her small barbed comments that seemed perfectly timed to deflate the largest egos, but said with such good humor that no man turned away from her feeling scorned or vengeful, it was torture to him. He longed to take her hand, feel the warmth of her skin again...

He might have been in a fever, but he replayed the moment he'd touched his fingers to hers over and over in his head, so much so that it was a struggle to breathe properly near her. He felt as if he were aflame with want to have her to himself, to hear her laughter only for himself, to have those fine eyes of hers gazing into his... for all time... forever.

But it could not be. And if she would not have him... then, he would not have anyone. He could never find joy in a half-love, having known utter fascination and desire, in order to do his duty by his family. He would be a disappointment to them rather than life in shadows, married to a woman he did not love or adore the way he loved Elizabeth Bennet.

He'd already endured an hour of this pain, when Lizzy left his side to seek another cup of tea for herself, and was approached by a dandy with a rather ridiculou hot house rose pinned to his coat lapel.

"I think she will make a fine marchioness, do not you, Mr. Darcy?" The Dowager said with a sly look at him as she walked to him and sat down on the sofa next to him, and he cleared his throat.

"She would certainly be an asset to a marquis or duke, or even a prince, now that the rumors of her illegtimate birth have subsided, and she's attracted attention of even the queen herself," the dowager continued.

"It would be a credit to the man, certainly, yes," he agreed.

"And what of the younger Miss Bennet?" The dowager asked. "Do you think she will marry well?" He stiffened, not realizing that she'd been speaking of Jane at first. He stammered some foolish response, and the dowager smiled, sharp-eyed and wise to his fumble. "Your favor is noted, sir. Shall I apply for you to speak with Mr. Gardiner, or even send for the girl's father if you prefer to ask him yourself?"

His lips parted. He did not know what to think.

"She will not have me," he uttered those words like he was dying, and the dowager frowned, for the first time since he'd made her better acquaintance, surprised.

"You declared yourself? And she refused?" The Dowager was aghast, and her hand flew to her lips, and Darcy shook his head, a sinking feeling in his chest.

"I did not have the chance, although I believe she might suspect, I do not think she feels as strongly toward me," he murmured. "I... in haste, spoke imprudently upon our first meeting, as my interest in her was spotted by a third party that I did not wish to know my business... and so I deflected. To my regret, even now," he said, feeling as if his heart was going to burst for the shame of it. "And she is the delight of the Ton. I wasted my chance, your ladyship, and I will live with that regret for the rest of my life."

"I see," Lady Bowes commented, and her demeanor was much changed, an almost sorrowful look in her eyes. "And you do not think... telling her this, might help her to see things differently?"

"There can be no differently," he replied, "I hurt her, with no thought to her at all, and for that, I am justly punished." He managed a smile though, as Lizzy returned to them, and the dowager rose to her feet, giving the seat up to her.

"Miss Elizabeth, you beguile this young gentleman so that none other may draw your attention, did you realize there are callers here waiting to speak to you, too?" Lady Bowes asked, and Lizzy laughed.

"He is merely my honor guard, giving me tidbits of information as I require them," she said, and glanced away to where Jane sat, talking to another gentleman. "Although, Mr. Darcy, if you would be so kind, Mr. Colville has been occupying my sister's time for altogether too long. Would you mind-"

"I am at your command," he said gallantly, and got to his feet, turning his most fierce mien on as he walked toward Jane and Mr. Colville.

Mr. Colville, a most insipid fellow, and a poor sport when shooting, a man Darcy disliked on a good day, got the hint and scattered immediately.

Darcy had the satisfaction of turning and seeing Lizzy's expression. Her warm look of gratitude was enough to melt his heart.

"How am I doing?" He asked as he sat next to Jane, and was delighted by her sweet, kind, and gentle expression.

"You are performing your role as guardian and advisor admirably, sir," she said, and the corners of her mouth turned upward. "Although I had hoped... for a certain gentleman caller today." She gazed around the room before sighing quietly.

He knew immediately who she meant. And that gentleman in question was out with his two sisters, enduring their company for the day.

"I can assure you, he will be at my ball next week, and you will have ample time to be in his company," Darcy said, and was rewarded by Jane's smile again. She was truly a sweet-natured soul, and he could see why Elizabeth was so determined to guard her heart. "Let me ask you... perhaps, no, it is an impertinence."

"Mr. Darcy, you have been acting as shield, and truly, as a friend today, I think you have earned an impertinent question if you like," she replied. "Ask, and I shall decide whether to answer." Her eyes sparkled, and it reminded him of Elizabeth's mirthful wit. They were sisters, after all.

"Your sister seems very focused on your prospects, with not a thought to her own," he paused, "is there perhaps... a gentleman in Meryton who's company she is missing?" Was that it? A far-off suitor that he did not know of?

Jane bit her lip, faltering for a moment.

"No, it is not that," she said quietly. "It's... me."

He frowned.

"Pardon?"

"When we were but girls, I was only five and ten, and yet, there was a gentleman who came through Meryton, and oh, Mr. Darcy, I was so young and foolish, I believed his pretty words. I thought myself in love, and when he found another girl, slightly older, sooner ready to wed, and with a better dowery than I had at the time, all I was left with was his poetry." She gave him a thin-lipped smile. "I had never experienced that sort of... there were no promises exchanged, but when you are five and ten, a poem is as good as a promise, and it felt as if I would never recover. I'm afraid I rather frightened Lizzy, Elizabeth, with my sorrows for months and months."

She sighed and smoothed her skirts over her knees.

Darcy glanced over at Elizabeth, who did not have her eyes on them for once, and was speaking to a gentleman, her head nearly thrown back in a delighted laugh over some joke. But her eyes did not fully reflect her joy, there was some reservation, a shuttering in them that kept the man at arms-length emotionally even as he leaned in close to her.

"From that moment, she believed she would never let herself love, and she swore that she would guard my heart so I would never be hurt again," Jane said in a whisper, "but she does not realize, half the joy of love is knowing that you can hurt from it. It would not be so sweet if we did not feel the pain of it's lack. Would you adore her so much, Mr. Darcy, if you did not agonize over your belief that you will never have her for the rest of your life?"

He made a startled noise, and when he glanced at Jane, she gave him a sorrow-filled smile, and patted his hand with her own gloved one.

"I will tell you one thing, Mr. Darcy, to give you hope. It's that my sister, while determined in her beliefs, does change them when presented with overwhelming evidence that she should."

"Ah... I see," he cleared his throat. "And... I should prove to her that love is worth the risk, how?"

Jane shrugged elegantly and then sighed as another gentleman worked up the mettle to cross the room toward them.

"I am not sure. Perhaps it will not take much, perhaps will take knowing that you would be willing to make as much of a sacrifice for a sister's happiness as she was. After all, she has given up a joyful future to ensure that I always have her to guard me and be my companion. But it odd to find a gentleman who would do the same for his sister. Ah, Mr. Legge, it is good to see you again," she said, and Mr. Darcy slipped away to give the man some room to speak with Jane, but not for too long.

Mr. Legge was no Mr. Bingley, after all.

I am so pleased to announce that Duty and Desire is now available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple iBooks, and more, just search for 'Nora Kipling - Duty and Desire'! You may purchase it right away or wait for a new chapter to be uploaded here every Thursday. Thank you for all your loving support.

- Nora