Sometimes, we need to be hurt in order to grow. We must lose in order to gain. Sometimes, some lessons are leaned best through pain.
- Unknown.
Stinging.
That was all he felt. All over his body.
Stinging.
It was nothing like CatNap had felt in a long time. And the darkness provided no distraction.
He opened his eyes slowly and very weakly. His eyelids felt heavy, but he managed to open his eyes and keep them open. Though everything was blurry. It took a while, but his vision slowly cleared up. He recognized he was in the medical center of Home-Sweet-Home. He tried to lift his head, but he didn't make it far as he was still in pain. He could see, however, that his arms and paws were wrapped in bandages that helped with burns.
Before he could do anything else, an orange-brown shape stood beside him.
DogDay.
"DogDay?" CatNap whispered weakly.
"CatNap," DogDay acknowledged. "How do you feel?"
"Everything stings," CatNap responded automatically. "Why am I-"
"You're going to be okay. Angel saved your life," DogDay said simply.
This confused CatNap. After her threat to kill him if he attacked them again, why would she save his life? Looking around weakly, he couldn't see her next to or even near his bed.
His wondering eyes did catch Poppy sleeping on another bed beside him. In the corner of the room, CatNap also saw Kissy Missy huddled in the corner. When she noticed him looking at her, she hugged herself tighter.
On the bed on the other side of Poppy, was where he saw the human woman, unconscious. Her right eye and forehead were wrapped in bandages, but the rest of her body was covered by a blanket, so he couldn't tell if she had further injuries.
"She's alive," DogDay said in a worried tone. DogDay turned back to face CatNap, and kneeled down to be at eye level of CatNap, "she saved your life. Poppy was against it, but Angel didn't listen. I didn't listen either. I got you here and Angel worked on helping with your wounds. But, after she finished, she started coughing up blood, and she passed out. Your burns were not as severe as we thought, but Angel has three cracked ribs, her right cheekbone is fractured, her right eye is swollen shut, the scratches to her shoulder are to the muscle, and she's covered in bruises. We all did what we could, but she's been asleep for four days now."
"Four days?" CatNap questioned.
DogDay nodded in response. If that was the case, then CatNap himself was asleep for that long. He settled down in the bed, unable to think. He didn't know what to think even if he could.
"Why did she save me?" CatNap asked out loud.
DogDay only looked at him in response, and the look on his face read, 'you already know why.'
Maybe he did, but he couldn't comprehend it.
"But she said she would-"
"She understands, CatNap. She understands," was all DogDay said.
"Well, I don't understand," a feminine voice spoke up.
DogDay turned around and saw that Poppy was awake. And she was not happy.
"I don't know why she went through the trouble she did for you, CatNap. What you did is unforgivable. I hope that once she wakes up, she gives fly the death you deserve," Poppy growled.
CatNap actually flinched at this.
"Poppy, stop," DogDay demanded.
"Why are you defending him? After what he did to you and your friends?" Poppy said as she redirected her frustration to DogDay.
"He is in my protection while Angel recovers. She asked me to watch him. And I intend to protect him and her! Angel made it very clear that you don't make the decisions right now, Poppy," DogDay growled. "Because all you've done is hide in the shadows. You owe Angel everything, Poppy. Remember that!"
Poppy glared at DogDay, and in response, DogDay growled deeper. Poppy got the message and backed off.
DogDay turned back to CatNap to apologize for her behavior, only to find CatNap looking away.
"CatNap, I-"
"Don't," CatNap interrupted quietly. "Please, just don't."
DogDay wanted to speak, but decided respect CatNap's wishes to leave him be. He turned around and walked to Angel's bedside. He knelt by her side, and gently laid his head on her abdomen in comfort.
CatNap watched. The human was pale from blood loss. He could tell she was exhausted.
He looked away. He didn't know what to do. First the human electrocutes and burns him alive, then she saves his life. She had promised to kill him if he attacked her or DogDay. But instead, she saved him.
"If I really had malicious intent, I would have killed you when I had the opportunity. I would not have healed you."
"If I really had malicious intent, I would have killed you when I had the opportunity. I would not have healed you."
"If I really had malicious intent, I would have killed you when I had the opportunity. I would not have healed you."
Her words repeated in his head over and over again. His thoughts then turned to The Prototype. The one he worshipped for so long. He shed so much blood for him. He sacrificed so much for him. He was loyal to him. Why would he turn his back on him?
"And it was… appreciated. You made… my work so… much easier. But you… were just an asset. An expendable asset. I used you. I never cared… You were of… no use to me… for a long time now. But I needed a reason… to dispose of you… What's left of you… will rot in this factory."
The words of his former savior ran through his head. Tears started to well up in his eyes. But the others were right there. He refused to show weakness in front of them.
They wouldn't understand.
CatNap struggled to his feet. His body still hurt. He was still tired. But he needed to get out of their.
"CatNap, you need to rest," DogDay gently reprimanded, but CatNap ignored him.
"Let him go. If he wants to leave, let him leave," Poppy insisted.
"Poppy, stop!" DogDay demanded.
CatNap ignored them both. Finally, he was to his feet, and, on shaky legs, he walked to the exit. As he got to the door, he turned his head to look at the human on the bed.
DogDay was on alert. Just because Angel asked him to watch over him, that didn't mean he wouldn't do what was necessary to protect her. But he calmed down when he saw the look on CatNap's face. It was a mixture of emotions he knew all too well.
Betrayal and remorse.
CatNap then turned away and left them behind, not saying a word.
….
The caverns were quiet. Save for the streams running over the rocks, water dripping from the stalactites on the ceiling, and the groaning of metal from the platforms.
CatNap sat in front of his shrine. Though, he was not here to worship. He was not here to pray.
No.
He was here to think.
To think about what he had done.
And all… for a false god.
Fifteen years. Fifteen years he followed The Prototype. He did what he asked without question. Even before he was turned into what he was now. He almost died for him. But The Prototype saved him. He gave up his freedom for him. He thought it was because he cared. Instead, it was all a manipulative tactic. It was to gain his undivided loyalty.
All this time, The Prototype was just using him.
"I used you. I never cared. But I truly needed you. And you worshipping me… made it so much easier."
The Prototype's last words to him continued to haunt him.
"But you… were just an asset. An expendable asset."
For a long time now, those words circled in his head.
"I used you. I never cared."
"I used you."
"I never cared."
"I never cared."
"I never cared."
"I never cared."
"I thought I would find you here," a feminine voice suddenly sounded behind him, interrupting his thoughts.
CatNap jumped slightly and turned around. There was the human. She was covered in bandages. Her right eye and forehead were still wrapped up. She had wrapped herself up in a blanket from the medical room, and she had the blanket folded in a way so it wouldn't drag along the floor and get caught on something. CatNap could see she was swaying slightly in her stance. She still looked exhausted. CatNap could see that she didn't have her knife with her, nor her Grab-Pack.
Calming down slightly, he turned back around to face the shrine again.
"You should be resting."
"Wow," the human said quietly. "Is that you really caring? Or are you just saying that to get me to leave?"
CatNap didn't respond.
"I'm sorry for startling you, but I just wanted to see if you were okay."
"I'm fine," CatNap growled in slight irritation. "I just want to be left alone."
"Okay, I'm sorry," she quietly apologized.
CatNap could here her walking across the cavern grounds, then he heard her give a tired sigh of relief. Turning around, he saw her sitting on a small rock against the cavern walls.
"I said I wanted to be left alone," CatNap growled again.
"I'll leave," she insisted. "Just let me catch my breath for a minute please."
CatNap gave an exasperated sigh, but decided to pay her no mind. As long as she was quiet.
But then, he realized something. Where was DogDay? Poppy? And Kissy?
Was she here alone?
"Do the others know you're down here?" CatNap demanded.
"Kissy does. DogDay and Poppy are, hopefully, still asleep."
"Why would you come down here alone? And injured, no less?" CatNap asked before he could even think of what he was doing.
"I wanted to check on you. I wanted to be sure you were okay," she insisted gently.
"Why go through all that for me? After what I did," he paused before he uncomfortably added, "Angel?"
CatNap could tell that she was shocked by what he had called her, but then she gave a small smile in understanding.
"You don't have to call me that if you don't want to," she said simply.
CatNap relaxed by degrees, but questioned, "then why do you insist DogDay call you that?"
"I never asked him to call me that. He knows my real name, but he thinks 'Angel' is more fitting. Truthfully, I… internally flinch… whenever he calls me that. But, I just don't have the guts to insist he not call me that. I can tell it makes him feel safe. Who am I to take that away from someone?"
At that, CatNap growled, "then why did you come here? Why did you ruin everything? Why did you kill all those toys?!" He demanded loudly, his voice echoed in the caverns.
"I came back to find out what happened to my co-workers! That's all! I never wanted to hurt anyone! But they attacked me first! I panicked and did what I did to defend myself!" She defended.
"Then why didn't you just leave?" CatNap countered. "Why didn't you just leave if you didn't want to hurt anyone?"
"Who said I didn't try to leave? Who said I came to Playcare willingly?" She suddenly asked.
"Then why did you come to Playcare?"
"Poppy redirected the train. Poppy said she would help me leave, and she lied to me," she revealed. "It's Poppy who brought me here to fulfill her drives for vengeance. And before you ask, no. I don't trust her."
That actually brought CatNap relief, but them again, if she didn't trust Poppy, then why...?
"Why are you working with her then?"
"Well, I'm not working with her, per se. I just want to stay on her good side until I can figure things out. Right now, everything I do is for DogDay. And now, it's for you, too."
CatNap gasped at that.
"All I wanted was closure. Ever since I walked through that front door, I've had to defend myself and no one offered any help. Not until I found DogDay," the human continued.
"And he begged you to save him, right?" CatNap questioned, even though he already knew the answer.
"No. Quite the contrary. He told me to leave him. He never once asked me to save him from the Playhouse," she said quietly.
"And after all I did, why are you going through all this trouble for me?" he questioned again.
"Because I care, CatNap. I know I made threats to you before, but I do care. I'm sorry about what I said and did, CatNap. But, I was defending myself and DogDay," she explained.
CatNap didn't know how to respond. He glanced away.
"I already spoke with DogDay," she suddenly said, earning CatNap's renewed attention.
"He told me about your little interaction before our… scuffle," she said awkwardly. "And he told me about what Poppy said."
CatNap flinched at that.
"Don't worry about Poppy. I already spoke to her as well. I told her to keep her comments about you to herself. And DogDay wants to apologize."
"What does he want to apologize for?" CatNap questioned with a slightly sarcastic tone.
"Because of the things he said. For what you went through," she elaborated anyway.
CatNap was about to respond with a snide comment, but stopped himself. He shook his head and turned away again.
"CatNap?"
He didn't respond.
After a bit, it was still quiet.
"Okay, you don't have to talk, but please listen to what I have to say. Please?" She politely asked quietly.
Again, CatNap didn't respond.
After a bit, it was still quiet.
"Okay, you don't have to talk, but please listen to what I have to say. Please?" She politely asked quietly.
Again, CatNap didn't respond.
Sighing, she spoke, "I know you have no reason to believe me, but I am sorry. I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for what I said," she paused for a moment before she added with a depressed, remorse-filled sigh, "and I'm so sorry… for my ignorance."
That caught CatNap's attention. He slightly turned his head to her, and let her continue.
"I had no idea of what was really happening here. The moment I found out of those 'experiments,'" she hissed the word as if it was poison, "I felt so sick. Children! Innocent children! And they treated you all," she paused again, "worse than lab rats!"
She sniffled, and her speech picked up her shudder, "I am so sorry. If I had known sooner, I would've done something to help you. But I didn't. I'm so sorry."
CatNap listened. He couldn't believe he was thinking this, but she sounded genuine. His thoughts turned back to her interactions with the children of Playcare before the Hour of Joy. She was very caring. Very loving. Very happy. But he was too blinded by his rage towards the staff, as well as his excitement about the upcoming Hour of Joy to really see it. But now that was over, he couldn't help but feel maybe there is such a thing as an 'innocent adult,' despite the Prototype's insistent that there wasn't.
But all this time, the Prototype was more interested in himself. Perhaps he was lying about that too.
"And I know I can't take back what I did to you, but after seeing what the Prototype did, and the things he said, I couldn't just let you die."
CatNap looked up to her again. He looked to her face. He saw no deception. No lies. No trickery. Though, after what happened with the Prototype…
"You truly had no idea?" CatNap questioned.
She shook her head.
"And what exactly would you have done had you known?" He challenged.
"I..." she sighed in defeat before she admitted, "I don't know. And they way things did play out, we'll never know. But I would have done something," she insisted.
That was actually answer enough for CatNap. It was a good answer, as he found himself nodding. Before he could think of anything else to say, she spoke up again.
"I know you have no reason to believe me, and I know you no longer know who you can trust, and I'm not going to ask anything of you. You don't have to join us CatNap. You don't even have to be near us. We'll leave you be if it's truly what you want. But, what I will ask for, is a second chance. Let me help you. I'll be there for you when you need me. Let me show you what the others didn't: compassion and love. And… if I fail to provide that, then you can do with me what you see fit."
That shocked CatNap, but then she warned gently, "but understand, CatNap, that logic also applies to you. This truly is your final chance. You try anything, and I'll do what is necessary to protect everyone and myself from you."
CatNap stared her directly in the eye. Again, he saw no deception. No trickery. Not even malice. After a little while, CatNap watched as she stood up and started to walk away. Slowly as she was still tired and she was being careful with her cracked ribs.
CatNap looked back to his shrine. He thought about everything that had transpired these last few days. Not even a week ago, he was happy. He was devoted to The Prototype. He was sure that he would bring salvation. Now, his eyes were opened to the fact that he was used. But, perhaps this was a chance to start again. He could make things right.
"You're still my best friend. I really do want things to be the way they were before as friends, CatNap."
DogDay's words ran through his head as he remembered their little… conversation before the fight. He had to admit, that sounded nice. He looked up to his shrine and nodded.
Koa walked away from CatNap. After making it to the platforms, before she could figure out how to climb back up without hurting herself further, a loud crash sounded behind her.
Frightened by the sudden noise, she whirled around to the source of the noise, and was shocked at what she saw.
CatNap was tearing down his own shrine! He tore it apart! He threw pieces against the cavern walls. He smashed others onto the floor. It was like he was mauling some large, malformed beast, and he was winning.
After a few minutes, he stopped. Koa watched as he stood there, panting. Though Koa knew it wasn't of exhaustion. It was relief. She knew what he was thinking.
He was free.
Deciding to leave him be instead of disturbing him like she promised, she returned her attention to the platforms to figure out how to get back to Home-Sweet-Home.
Before she could try anything, she heard purring next to her. Looking up, she saw CatNap standing next to her, looking down at her in what she knew was gratitude.
Before she could say anything, CatNap lowered himself down and laid next to her, not taking his eyes off of her.
Smiling, she carefully placed a hand in comfort in his head, careful of his still healing burns. CatNap then moved closer to her, actually pushing against her with his head and shoulders.
"Um, CatNap?" Was all that she could get out.
"You helped me, let me help you," he said gently.
Koa smiled in thanks, and loosened her tight grip on his head.
"Thank you, CatNap," she thanked him, her voice flooded with relief and gratitude.
"I'm surprised you made it this far in your condition, Angel," he teased slightly.
"Oh no, please, not you too," Koa matched his tone, but added annoyance to it.
CatNap actually gave an amused chuckle, "sorry, but I think DogDay is right, 'Angel' is more fitting."
There's a difference between giving up and starting over.
- Unknown