The sun was sinking down over the edge of the horizon, shades of purple and orange lighting up the hillside in a glow as dusk approached. The sound of Fingerstyle guitar emanating from a lone figure seated on a chair in front of an airstream trailer. The only other sound heard was the closing of a car door in the distance. Footsteps approached the trailer, and stopped a couple feet away from the man playing the guitar. He either didn't notice or chose not to acknowledge the blonde, but instead opened his mouth and started to sing. Her gasp was audible though it did nothing to discourage his singing.
"When the world was new, and I was looking for my new eyes
I saw you and I started to smile
Because I knew I'd seen something truly beautiful
And it took me by surprise"
'I didn't know he played music, let alone something so beautiful and emotional. I don't recognize the song, but that's not very surprising. I don't listen to secular radio stations.' Summer thought, standing and watching the way Sasha's fingers plucked and manipulated the strings.
"In your hair I saw the softest pillows
And on your lips, I saw the sweetest smile
And in your eyes, I saw everything
And they invited me to stay for a while"
'I don't know why she's here. Now I'm singing this in front of someone else, not the one I wrote it for.' Sasha thought before opening his mouth to sing once more. His eyes closing and his head dipping down toward his chest.
"But when you looked at me, my world stopped spinning
And in my heart, I felt a glow
I saw our life together and it was so beautiful
And I knew you more than you'd ever know
Yes, I knew you more than you'd ever know
Yes, I knew you as I watched you go"
Sasha whispered out the last notes, and kept his eyes closed for a moment. Savoring and reminiscing in the last echoes of the chord resonating from his guitar. ' I almost broke when she left me, but I will always love her ' he thought. The tranquility of the moment broken by the words spoken by the intruder.
"I didn't know you could play the guitar. Or sing for that matter." Summer said, watching the frown develop on his face, and his eyes pinch tightly closed, before he opened them.
"What are you doing here?" Sasha asked with a sigh.
"Who sang that song originally?" Summer asked.
"What do you want, Summer?" Sasha said, looking up to glance at her before looking back down.
"I want to know why you're singing a song about feelings like that when you're incapable of love."
"You don't know what you're talking about. Please leave." Sasha said, his voice never rising above the quietness that surrounded them.
"Why won't you talk to me? Why are you acting like this?" Summer cried out, her voice rising in pitch, her hands reaching out to the side and her shoulders rising and falling.
"Because you don't know what you're talking about, and it's a waste of my time and breath to try and make you understand. I didn't write this song for you, and I didn't sing it for you. There is nothing for you here. Please leave." Sasha said, his voice firm but never raising in volume.
"You wrote that song?" Summer asked, and the only thing to answer her was silence. "You have feelings for someone…..someone else…not me.." Summer stammered. "How long? Did you ever have feelings for me?"
" I thought I could distract myself from her. You're another challenging blonde, and I thought that perhaps in time it would be enough. But I can't ignore my feelings for her." He whispered, not looking up from the ground.
"Does she not share your feelings? Is that why?"
"I can't tell her. She has so many opportunities ahead of her, I can't stand in the way of that."
"So you're just going to sit here and pine for her?" Summer asked incredulously, her voice rising through the still night.
"Yes" Sasha said, the air escaping him in a choked sob. He readjusted the guitar on his leg, moving to start playing once more. His left hand stretching to form the correct chord, his right hand plucking the strings. Creating a beautiful and meaningful sound. "I know that she's the one for me. I know it in the depth of my heart, I feel it in my soul. But I know she can do far better than me. I won't taint her brightness with the darkness of my past."
"I….I don't know you at all…..I never did." Summer said, turning and walking back toward her car. She stopped mid-way and turned back around before speaking. "I hope you find happiness… I know you don't want my opinion, but I think you should tell her, whoever she is. Show her this man, and let her decide what she wants." She waited a moment for him to acknowledge her. Hearing nothing from him, she turned and made the rest of the way to her car. As she was unlocking the door she heard the faint sound of his voice in the distance.
"I'm falling in love
Feels like I'm falling in love"
She got in the car and drove off. Not looking back. "She's a lucky girl."
Sasha kept playing and sang a couple more lines before he stopped, his fingers squeaking on the strings as they slipped. 'Summer's right. I have to tell her.' Sasha thought, standing up and moving inside the trailer to put his guitar away. He grabbed the case and moved to put it in the closet when he stopped. 'I should bring this with me…just in case.' and with that he turned and walked towards the door, grabbing his keys from the kitchen counter on his way out. He put the guitar case in the backseat of the truck, climbed into the driver's seat and made his way to the Keeler house.
Sasha got out of this truck, closed the door, and walked around to the walkway leading up to the keeler's door. 'I better not bullocks up. If I do it could mean the end of me, the end of her. That would ruin me if something happened to her or her chance at the olympics.' Sasha thought, raising his hand to knock on the door. After a few moments of silence, the door swung open to reveal a smiling Payson.
"Hey Sasha. Is there something wrong?" Payson asked.
"No, nothings wrong…..there's something I want to..to tell you..to..to talk to you about…"
"Ok. Do you want to come inside? Mom and Dad are in the living room if you need to talk to all of us." Payson asked, pointing her thumb over her right shoulder, through the open door and into the house.
"No!...No, it's not gymnastics related..it's personal."
"Personal?" Payson asked, all the while thinking 'we don't talk about personal stuff. Not anymore. Not since the kiss.'
"Personal…" Sasha said, putting his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels. "I…you…" Sasha said, stammering before taking his hands out of his pockets to run his right hand through his hair.
"You're kinda scaring me right now, Sasha. Are you ok?" Payson asked, the concern evident on her face.
"What I'm trying to say is…" Shasha trailed off again and sighed, running his hand through his tousled locks yet again. "Words are failing me…but perhaps music will say what I cannot …don't.. don't go anywhere… I'll be right back." Sasha said in a rush before turning and jogging back to his truck. He opened the back door and opened his guitar case. He pulled the guitar out, slung the strap over his shoulder and across his body. He grabbed a guitar pick and turned around, shutting the door off the truck and jogging back to Payson.
"Sasha, what is this?" Payson asked, her brow furrowing and her arms crossing in front of her chest.
"Can I play this song for you? Then we can talk, and I'll answer any question you have."
"Alright." Payson said with a sigh, her arms uncrossing and moving to rest at her sides.
Sasha started to strum his guitar, the rhythmic moderate tempo a stark contrast to the slow resonate sounds of the song played earlier this same night.
"The city waked and I'm looking for a sign
My body aches but I tell it one more time
Do what it takes to keep you safe tonight"
'What is this? Is he trying to say something? No, he can't be. I'm just his gymnast. Don't get your hopes up.' Payson thought, eyes fixed to the sight in front of her.
"I see this place from high above it all
I keep you safe if only you would call
I pull you close and shield you from the night"
Sasha sang that stanza, holding her gaze. Desperately trying to show her the depth of meaning in the catchy song.
'That has to mean something! Why else would he sing about holding someone close! But, there's no way he means what I want him to mean '
"I'll be your Superman if you will be my Lois Lane
I'll fly you around the world and to the moon and back again
And I will save you from the monsters that are hiding in the night
I'll hold you while you're sleeping
Let you see behind my mask
Show you who I really am if you decide to ask
And I will be your superhero, let me be your superhero tonight"
Kim and Mark Keeler emerged from the house to stand behind Payson. Mark had his arms crossed and Kim was looking on with a peculiar look on her face. 'I hope Payson knows what I mean by this. I hope she shares my feelings. I really hope that her parents will understand, I don't want to come between them.' Sasha thought, knowing he was risking everything for the possibility of happiness.
"The city sprawls out, there's madness everywhere
A siren calls out, your laughter fills the air
And I'm in heaven just listening to that sound
I want to hold you keep you safe from harm
Be your protection with your arm in my arm
Nothing can harm you as long as I'm around"
Payson's breath hitched, and she smiled holding Sasha's gaze. Mark frowned, his mouth turning down into a scowl.
"I'll be your Superman if you will be my Lois Lane
I'll fly you around the world and to the moon and back again
And I will save you from the monsters that are hiding in the night
I'll hold you while you're sleeping
Let you see behind my mask
Show you who I really am if you decide to ask
And I will be your superhero, let me be your superhero tonight
And all the things I want to say but stumble when I try
Will finally come together if we had a change to fly
But you won't look my way, and so I guess then here I stay tonight
I'll be your Superman if you will be my Lois Lane
I'll fly you around the world and to the moon and back again
And I will save you from the monsters that are hiding in the night
I'll hold you while you're sleeping
Let you see behind my mask
Show you who I really am if you decide to ask
And I will be your superhero, let me be your superhero tonight
Yeah, I'll be your superhero, let me be your superhero tonight
Cuz nothing else can harm me except you
You're my Kryptonite"
The final notes rang out through the quiet night air, his hand clutching the neck of the guitar. He looked at the figures standing on the porch, Payson's eyes were wide and glassy. Mark's arms were crossed with the corners of his mouth turned down in a scowl, while Kim looked on with the barest hint of her mouth turned upwards in a smile. The silence dragged on for what seemed like forever. Sasha shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his right hand that was holding the guitar pick stretched out towards her.
"I…I'm sorry to come here so late, and and bother you. I was sitting, playing another song I had written, and I don't know honestly. I was intending to never tell you this." Sasha said, placing his right arm over the lower bout of the acoustic guitar, resting his hand on the top of the guitar.
"Tell me what?" Payson asked, her voice airy and hesitant.
"Tell you that when I was younger I made a lot of mistakes. I did things I'm not proud of. And even though I'm not that man any longer, I feel as though I still have a dark cloud looming over head. I had every intention not to tell you this, to let that dark cloud remain over me so as not to risk tainting your brightness. I know that this is a risk, coming here like this. Singing a song I wrote for you, in the hopes that you might return my feelings." Payson gasped, her hand covered her mouth, and tears welled in her eyes.
"You've got balls coming here like this Belov." Mark said, his voice firm and loud through the night air. He moved to step forward his hand pointing at Sasha, but Kim grasped his arm firmly.
"Mark stop." Kim said, pulling him backwards to stand next to her.
"You're ok with this?" Mark asked incredulously, his voice rising in both pitch and volume.
"I think it's none of our business, Mark. Payson's a grown woman, and can make her own decisions. I will support her in anything she does. I hope you will too." Kim said before she turned around to head back into the house. Mark looked at her, then looked at Payson and Sasha, before following Kim back into the house.
Payson's eyes never left Sasha's. He tracked the movement of Kim and Mark entering the house before returning to look at Payson. "If this was a mistake coming here, please tell me. One word, and I will never mention it again."
"Sasha" Payson breathed, tears streaming down her face.
"Payson, I'm sorry if I've upset you."
"I'm not upset."
"But, you're crying." Sasha said, stepping towards her, spinning the guitar to sling across his back.
"They're happy tears……I…I never thought you would…I…God why is this so hard." Payson said, her head ducking down.
"Payson, no matter what I will always be here for you. In whatever capacity you need me." Sasha said, reaching out to grasp her hand in his. "I have feelings for you, Payson. Feelings I never thought that I would be lucky enough to experience. You make me a better man, you inspire me Payson."
"Sasha, I always hoped that you would have feelings for me, but after you pushed me away I made myself stop hoping. Stop dreaming. I know I made it seem like some stupid crush, like it didn't mean anything, but it did. I have feelings for you too, and it hurt when you pushed me away. It really hurt, Sasha."
"I'm sorry, Payson. I didn't mean to hurt you. It nearly killed me, pushing you away like that."
"Then why did you?"
"Because I was supposed to. I was hating myself for having feelings for my gymnast, and I was trying to force myself to treat you like one of my gymnasts. What I have come to realize is, I have never treated you as just a gymnast. I think I've always been yours, and I'm hoping that you will be mine." Sasha said, looking into her eyes and squeezing her hand.
"Yes, I want to be yours. I want to be with you, Sasha." Payson said in a breath. He gently tugged on her hand bringing them closer together. Their breath mingling together as he spoke.
"Can I kiss you?" He asked. Seeing her head nod, he reached up to cup her face, drawing their lips together. His lips slid over hers in a gentle caress, his other hand sliding up her back to hold her close. When one kiss ended another began, until they were pulling away due to a lack of oxygen. He rested his forehead against hers and held her close, one arm banded across her lower back, the other pressing up between her shoulder blades. Her hands on the back of his neck, playing with the back of his hair.
"I've never felt like this before. I'm so happy." Payson said, a smile lighting up her face, as she looked up at him through her lashes.
"I don't want to scare you, Payson, but I want you to know how much you mean to me. I know it in the depth of my soul that you are the one for me."
"Sasha" Payson started, not quite knowing how to put her thoughts and feelings into words.
"You don't have to say anything. I can see it in your eyes, and on your beautiful face." Sasha said, bringing his left hand around to hold her cheek in his hand, his fingers curling around the back of her head. "When you are ready, you can tell me." He whispered to her.
"I don't know how to say it….I..I want you to know how much you mean to me. You make me better. A better gymnast, a better person. You understand me in a way that no one else does. We can talk about anything, movies, literature, and it never gets old. You always know how to make me feel better. I trust you with everything that I am." Payson said, in a rush. "When you left, it felt like I wasn't whole anymore. Like you took a part of me with you…I stopped going to ballet."
"Payson..Draga.." Sasha said moving to hold both of her small hands in his own.
"It's our thing, and the one time I tried to go I couldn't even step foot in the studio. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest."
"I will never leave you again. Not unless you ask me to leave. You're stuck with me." He said, his lips quirked upwards and a crinkle forming at the corner of his eyes. Payson let out a chuckle and a smile of her own formed on her face.
"Good, 'cuz I don't want you to leave. So, it's settled then."
"Yes, it's settled." He said, before leaning in to kiss her lips once more. What was intended to be a gentle caress swiftly became more passionate. Their hands had separated, hers clutching at his shoulders, while his slid up and down her sides. When he reached the outer swell of her breast he ripped his mouth away from hers. His breath coming out in heavy pants, her chest heaving with exertion. A whimper escaped her lips and she tugged on his shoulders trying to draw him back to her lips. "You are so tempting, Draga. But I do not want to rush this. Let me take you out on a proper date."
"I want that. I do. I just don't want to stop what we were doing. I really don't want to stop." She said quietly, her voice sounding slow and hesitant.
"I know, Payson. Believe me, I do. I don't want to stop either, but we are quickly moving to the point of no return. If we were to continue I don't know if I would be able to stop myself from making love to you. I want it to be special, when we are both ready." Sasha told her, stepping slightly away from her so as to ease the temptation slightly.
"I want to, but I don't know if I'm ready." Payson said, biting her lip gently between her teeth.
"It's ok, darling. We have all the time in the world. Don't stress about it. When the time is right we will know." Sasha said, reaching to hold her hand in his once more. "It's getting late, and we have practice in the morning. Get a good night's sleep, and I will see you tomorrow."
"I'll see you tomorrow." Payson said, before turning to head towards the house. Sasha watched her walk inside and shut the door, before he put his guitar away and drove back to the Rock.
