So this takes place early in the game, WAY before Spitefully Mine. It is part of a much larger story that I'm working on. The complete story will go up on AO3 once I'm completely done with it. I just wanted to post chapters as I finish them on here. So they will be out of order. Know that it is part of my larger head canon with all our heroes from previous games. This started with a thought while I was doing my second playthrough. Just know I have no beta and I own nothing Dragon Age.

Inside she was seething and she also knew that she had no right to feel this way. Yet still, jealousy reared it's ugly head in the back of her mind. This was her first time back in Minrathous since she had freed all those slaves. Her team was slowly growing as well. Varric stayed in the infirmary and left her to do the recruiting. He was pushing her to be the leader. She didn't want that. She had never wanted that and Uncle Varric knew it…

But back to the problem at hand. After taking Lucanis on a few side trips and spending time with him at the Lighthouse, she knew that she was falling hard and fast. He just had this way about him that pulled her in. He tried to be professional at all times, and he was. He tried to be a gentleman at all times, and he was. He just had this air of holding himself back. She knew what that felt like. She normally kept her guard up, not letting many people in, but he slipped past every single one of those walls like the assassin that he was. Did he even know what he was doing to her?

The late night talks over coffee, weather it be about their day or inconsequential things. Not many heart to hearts, but the topics were getting deeper. The way he knew how she liked her coffee after their first night talking over it, and he always had a cup waiting for her when she walked through the door. His hand holding hers for just a moment too long when he helped her get up after being knocked down in battle, eyes roving her to make sure that she was ok. And she always knew when he was watching her, she could feel his eyes upon her. His deep sense of loyalty to family and the need and drive to protect them. That was just a few of the things that he did.

Then there were the things that he had no control of whatsoever. His skills in battle, it was like watching a dance. The way his muscled moved as he sliced his blade across the enemy's throat. Gracefully moving from one target to the next. His voice, she could drown in that voice. Let it envelope her and lull her into a deep slumber. She could listen to him talk for hours in that Antivian accent. It melted her on the inside. Now she understood her aunt when she talked about falling for her uncle. Oh the things a voice could do in the right kind of body. His face, which was filling out after being in the Ossuary for so long, the healthy glow of his tan skin. That little black freckle just above his eye. The way his hair….

She could go on for hours in her head. She knew that he had flaws. She wasn't some green idiot. He was closed off. He did tend to try to do things on his own. She guessed that some people would view Spite as a flaw, but she wasn't completely sure about that yet. She was sure that there were others, but the one thing that was glaring at her right now, was he was flirting with Neve.

She came back here with Neve to help her with some things back home. Not that Minrathous was her true home, but it had been for the last 8 years of her life. She wanted to show Lucanis around. It wasn't Treviso, nothing could compare to that beautiful city in her opinion. But there were charming places to go and see. She wanted to show it to Lucanis. When the Viper told them about a smuggled relic, they had to search it out. Shadows stand together, after all. Now, the three of them were traveling around Dock Town. Which wasn't bad, but Lucanis and Neve kept flirting back and forth. It… kind of hurt and made the green eyed monster flare up in her.

She knew that Neve was a beautiful woman. Her dark skin, and beautiful black hair. Her painted nails always looked so nice. Her eyes so intelligent and watching. Her quick wit and resourcefulness. She wore that revealing outfit around the Lighthouse with so much poise and grace and confidence. If Fawn leaned that way, she would take a go at Neve.

And what was Fawn compared to Neve? A orphaned Dalish elf, raised by a mish mashed adopted family. Not that anybody knew that, but she did. She had long blood red hair, which was the only feature she liked about herself. Overly large green eyes, a narrow face, and pointed ears. She was also quite short for an elf, wider hips than normal too. She hated the size or her chest, too small in her opinion. She had her vallaslin, done to honor The Mother of the Halla. What irony was that, with all that was going on" Then, there was the scars. Everyone could see the scars around her neck, but thank the Creators that nobody had asked what caused them. Nobody had seen the the largest one though. It ran from between her breast down around her navel. Shaped like a dragon that had been crudely cut into her skin. She shivered at the thought of that blade. Yeah, nobody could look at her and Neve and not see who was the better of the two. She sighed as sadness began to creep into her. She more than likely never had a shot to begin with. Better to get back at it, they had a smuggler to take down.

Lucanis noticed that Fawn seemed to be deep in thought. It seemed to be going on for a while now. He did admire that about her though, she could multi-task better than just about anybody he knew. Then she sighed, it was was the saddest sound he thought he had ever heard.

"Smells like woodlands, Lucanis, and sorrow… Rook doesn't smell of sorrow… What is wrong?"

"I don't know Spite. On that note, why do you always say she smells like me?" Lucanis began talking to his passenger internally.

"Coffee. Didn't know smell till we got to Rook. She likes coffee. Likes Lucanis too."

"Spite, I don't think just because she likes coffee, that she likes me."

"No! You can't see what I see! Since you don't want to. I won't tell. Keep to myself."

"Now you are being a child."

"And you are being blind. Good thing right before Lucanis. Rook doesn't judge us for being what we are. Not like the others. They keep a wary eye on us. They know we are not right. Rook not look at us like we are not right. Lucanis doesn't want to see, but Spite can."With that the demon was silent, blessedly silent for once. But he gave Lucanis something to chew on. That would have to come later though, for right now, there were smugglers to take care of.

Later didn't come till late in the evening. Neve had some contacts that she wanted to check up on and Lucanis decided to stay with Rook. She had a forlorn look in her eyes for a while now. Since she had given that sigh earlier. He had enjoyed being with two beautiful women, what man would not. Yet sometimes the witty banter that flowed between him and Neve could take a toll. He was not eloquent like his cousin. He was more about getting a job done. But a pleasant exchange every now and then kept him on his toes, and his skills were rusty after a year in that prison. "So Rook, where do you want to go?" She startled out of whatever thoughts were eating at her. When she looked at him, the mask of cheerfulness was in place, but he saw the sadness in her eyes.

"Ummm, I need to go check on my place. If you want to come with. I haven't been there in a year. My lease is almost up, so I need to go get my things," she began heading back into the city.

"Not planning on coming back when this is all done?" Lucanis said as he fell into step beside her.

"Not really. I haven't always been with the Shadow Dragons. I caused them quite a bit of trouble if you recall. Plus the land lady has been good to me, and I'd rather she rent it out to somebody that needs it."

"I remember you telling me about that so called trouble. Can't say I disapprove."

"Yeah, I heard about your Wigmaker Job." She said, cutting down a street that had a lot of apartments.

"Meirda. That was a mess," Lucanis shook his head.

"But it was a good mess. You helped those poor slaves. And took down Venatori. I'd call that a job well done," she stopped in front of a building. "This is it, come on, I'm at the top." They climbed the many flights of steps until they got to the very top, she walked down a hall and came to a door at the end. She fished a key out of one of her many pockets and unlocked the door. She slowly opened the door and looked around for a moment or two. When she finally opened the door for him, he cocked an eyebrow at her. "I had to make sure there were no traps. Welcome to Casa Mercar."

Lucanis walked into her flat and saw that, while not grand, it had a worn in comfort. It was just two rooms, a kitchen living room combo and a door to the side, which he assumed was a bedroom. Yet a large window took up almost an entire wall that had a balcony, looking out over the ocean. The view was spectacular. "Make yourself comfy. I'm going to take a quick shower and get my clothes packed," she called over her shoulder.

"You have a shower?" he asked incredulously

"This is Minrathous, you know. If you know the right people, magic can happen," she chuckled and closed the door to the other room.

He knew you could learn a lot about a person by seeing how they lived. Her place was clean, if dusty. Everything had it's place. A large bookshelf that had many books. He looked at the titles and there were a variety of them, a lot of Varric Tetheris, but also many on plants. "Must be for the poisons." So she liked to learn new things. Then he wandered to the kitchen area and peeked in some of the cabinets. Many different pots and pans, no food stuff, which was odd. Maybe it all came with the place, which he doubted. She knew how to make a good cup of coffee, maybe she liked to cook. He wouldn't add her to the rotation. Fawn had so much on her plate already. They didn't need to add one more burden to her. She had a desk that was organized near the wall by the window. He glanced at the papers on top, sheet music, but nothing he could recognize. Making her own compositions? She must be creative. Spread out from it along the wall was a few different instruments and art pieces that held her signature in the corner. So their leader was an artist, and a fairly good one at that. No distinct people in them, just shadows of them. The true beauty of them was in the landscapes. He saw forests that could be any that dotted Thedas. One that looked like The Storm Coast. A fortress in the mountains. Fields with halla grazing, all finely drawn and done with care. Little details were what held her attention, because they were all over the drawings. Then he ventured out onto the balcony. It truly was a stunning view.

The thought that Spite had put in his head earlier. Rook didn't look at him any different than the other team mates. She didn't see him as broken, or scarred, or damaged, or a disaster waiting to happen. She saw him a part of the team. Maybe she saw him as more than that. Was he reading to much into something? The way her eyes lingered on him. How she sought him out before the others. A causal touch of the hand. The cups of coffee at night. Her laugh that made her eyes sparkle. The way she thought through an answer before she gave it, no matter if it was light or heavy. Was the signs there and he to blind to see it?

He wasn't sure how long he stood there before she joined him. He found peace in this little apartment that was hers. "This is the reason I love this place."

"It must cost a pretty penny," he continued to stare out.

"I got a good deal. As I said, the landlady has been good to me. I got her son back that had been captured to be sold to a known blood mage. He had just been made liberati, only had his freedom for a few months. It was my first job with the Shadows. Since I wouldn't take her payment she said I could have the best room in her apartment for a discount. Her son is a mage, so he set up my shower."

Lucanis looked over at her and his mouth went dry. She wasn't looking at him, but out at the sea now. Normally the armor she wore had coats and layers covering much of her shape. At the lighthouse, she kept that armor on almost all the time. Now, he saw the woman that hid under those layers. Her blood red hair was wet, making it even darker, but it flowed in waves down her back. She wore a shirt that was a little more open at the top and he could see the curve on her breast as she leaned against the railing. Her leather leggings hugged the curve of her hip and encased shapely thighs. For a split second he imagined her hair cascading around the two of them as he kissed her. Her legs wrapped around him as he had her pinned to wall, holding onto those beautiful thighs. Her long artistic fingers digging into his hair. No, he could not have her. Anybody that got close to him ended up dead. He would not, could not be the cause of this beautiful woman's downfall. Plus, Spite was a problem. He never knew if Spite would lash out at Rook.

"Told you! I like Rook. Not hurt Rook! You may hurt her, but I WON'T!"

"Lucanis!" He heard Rook say as he grabbed his head.

"It's ok. Spite just wanted to make a point very clear to me. I think he is done now."

"Are you sure?" She reached out a hand and almost pulled it back, but he grabbed it instead. Needing contact with somebody.

"Yes, just… give me a minute." His eyes were closed, head slightly bowed and he placed her hand on his chest. He knew that she could feel his heart beating fast. He shouldn't do this. He didn't want to hurt her, but she symbolized a comfort that he had not felt in a long time. He then pulled her into his arms. He felt her stiffen for a moment then relaxed. She slowly wrap her arms around him though, almost as if she didn't want to. That hurt just a bit.

"Thank you Rook."

"Don't worry I wont tell Neve. Sometimes we just need to hug some body to make us feel everything will be alright."

"What?" He pulled back and looked at her. There, that sadness again. So raw and powerful.

"Neve, I wont tell her. You two have been flirting all day and I thought…"

"No!" he pulled Fawn close and held her tightly. "No it is not like that with Neve. She likes to tease. It is her way. It keeps people from getting close. I see it more as friendly banter. It is kinda how people talk in Antiva."

"Wait… so…" She said into his chest.

"No Fawn, I am not developing feelings for Neve," Lucanis said as he placed his head gently on top of hers.

"Oh… ok… I'll keep that in mind." They stood there for a moment, "your heart rate has slowed down. You good?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you. As you said, sometimes we just need a hug," he released her from the shelter of his arms but he felt like a little piece of himself went with her. She was a good woman. Strong, dependable, loyal, sweet with a taste of tart. She deserved the world, not a broken twisted man like him. Yet he couldn't deny that he would take what little he could to fill a gaping hole that was beginning to form inside his heart. To have the love of woman like her, it would be something.

"Ok, I got what clothes I need. I'd offer to make dinner and we could stay here. But I told the landlady when I knew I needed to leave for a while to take what food was in here and give it to those in need. So we can head back to the Lighthouse. We are near the Shadow headquarters, so I'll have them send some of the nightshades to get the rest of my things. Give them a good workout." She smiled again, a little too brightly to be completely believable. Again, she showed the goodness of her heart by giving to those that needed more than her. She turned to grab her bag that held her clothes and Lucanis grabbed it for her and hefted it over his back. "This will be my work out then." She rolled her eyes and headed for the door.

The Crow followed after her, but the demon was following after him, yelling the whole way down the stairs. "Lucanis is an idiot. Can you not see?"

"No Spite, she is too good for us."

"Ugh! Chains hold you down! Hold US down!"

"She deserves better."

"But she wants US!"

"Spite, we will not bring her down with us. Anybody that is close to me gets killed in the long run."

"Then we fight! We protect!"

"We protect better if we stay away." Yet staying away was so hard, as he watched the sway of her hips as he followed right after her back to the Lighthouse.