VIII.
Now let us travel 'cross the glass,
follow this gamer as she walks
from game to game in the arcade.
Dropping 'Hero's Duty' arm,
she spies a cabinet of pink.
A racing game—that sounds real neat!
She calls "next game" and puts her coin
on 'Sugar Rush''s cabinet.
But two louts there tell her, "Buzz off—
we're gonna be here all day long."
Her quarter pushed onto the floor,
she picks it up—and wanders on.
Not far away, she does espy
the cold-stone classic fix-'em-up—
you guessed it: Fix-it Felix 'twas.
She dropped the coin into the slot
and waited. Nothing happened then.
"Where is the wrecking guy?" she mused;
Ralph always showed at quarter's drop
to start the challenge of the joust.
The Nicelanders with frozen smiles
peered from the windows. "Where is Ralph?"
asked one. "He should be here to wreck."
"Stick with the program", thus spake Gene;
"Now all say—" "Fix it, Felix—do!"
Felix leapt from offstage left
next to the building, and then cried,
"I can fix it!"—but then looked
upon the shining tower block
and almost fainted from the shock.
Through clench'd teeth Felix did call out
towards Wreck-it's usual offstage spot—
"Ralph! Quarter alert! Look sharp! Come on!"
But nothing.
Frustrated, the gamer now
moved joystick in a sinking hope
to nudge the game back into health.
At this, good Felix high did leap
onto the shining building; and
at button's press, he tried to fix
what needed none. Not good!
And now our Felix did a thing
enjoined to gaming folk in course
of usual play; but this was not
a normal day. Working 'gainst
the gamer's tug, he took control
and moved away, to try and find
where Ralph might be, and start the game
with no delay. Off the screen
stage right he moved, to Ralph's brick-pile.
"No Ralph! What's this?" the fixer thought.
But in this short amount of time
the gamer to good Litwak turned
and said, "Oh, Mister Litwak—
this game has something wrong with it."
"Let's see."
Meanwhile, the Nicelanders
did issue from the building clean,
began to run around and round,
and Felix did return.—But
what this showed upon the screen
was chaos, signs of burnt-out chips;
and Litwak, having noted this,
said "Sorry, dear—here is your quarter,
have no fear." "But what about
this game?" asked she. "I'll have it looked at
on the morrow—there's every chance
it's round the bend, and soon will have to
meet its end." And with these words,
good Litwak placed upon the glass
a sign: "OUT OF ORDER", it read.
At this there followed massive chaos,
the res'dents totally lost their heads.
"Sweet mercy! Without Ralph we're doomed!"
said one. "Calm down!" said Felix, "I will
bet he simply fell asleep
at Tapper's, as he's wont to do."
Then rang the railroad crossing bell
that told of someone entering.
"You see? That's surely Ralph come home,
returning from a bender. See?"
The Nicelanders and Felix did
go to the entry, Ralph to find;
but to their palpable surprise,
no Ralph there was—Q*Bert, they spied.
"Why, hello, neighbor—what brings you here?"
The stranger spoke then—but his speech
was foreign, strange, and quite bizarre.
"What says he, Felix?" asked someone.
"Bear with me—ah, my Q*Bertese
rusts from disuse—but I shall try."
And then the two, they did converse;
with every turn, seemed Felix worse.
Then, turning to the Nicelanders,
Felix said with gloomy cast:
"Ralph's gone Turbo! He jumped ship!"