IX.
Now once the gaming day was done,
our Felix ventured forth to find this
"Hero's Duty" told about.
He found the entrance, rode the train,
alighted, and then stood beside
the selfsame door seen first by Ralph.
The Amazon and all her men
were trudging home from hard day's fight,
to rest their bones to do it all
again next day—then stopped.
With senses keen, she did detect
a stranger here. A stray cy-bug?
All drew their rifles, pulled the bolts,
and looked around—then did appear
a tiny figure by the door.
"Fire!" called she, and they let loose
a volley fierce towárds him there.
As Felix was first made for speed,
he leaped about and did avoid
all bullets, coming in a hail.
The Amazon at him did rush,
and with her arbusquier did force
him to the ground. At her mercy
Felix lay. She said, "Nice jumping,
pint-size—now us tell: who are you,
and say what in hell you're doing
here—and with despatch! Now, speak!"
He stammered, "Fix-it Felix, from
the game of sim'lar name—" then stopped.
"Holy jumping jiminy,
your face, ma'am—it's so beautiful!"
'Twas true—the shooting game was new,
with hi-def graphics up-to-date—
such detail Felix'd never seen.
She cracked a smile without mirth:
"Your flattery does not a thing do
for me, civvy—state your business—
make it fast!" "I'm searching for my
colleague, Wreck-it Ralph." "I've never
in my sweet short life heard hide
nor hair of him." "I've heard report
from GCS—one Q*Bert did
this morning see him come in here—"
"Impossible! Naught gets by me!"
Out of hiding Ralph had come,
was climbing the dark tower where
he'd heard the medals did reside.
At the top, he did with fist
break through the wall and enter there
a large-ish room—"Well, this must be
the place they stash them—let's go see."
The floor was strewn with cy-bug eggs;
he stepped with care around them, to
a platform bathed in glowing light.
Ás Ralph climbed the luminous stair
the light increased—and there in rafters,
coming down, a medal came!
It slipped 'round his neck silently,
then came a message, from the Chief.
A gen'ral, Hologram by name,
addressed Ralph now: "Congratulations,
soldier brave—you have now earned
our highest mark—the Hero's Medal,
your reward for job well done.
You are the greatest hero in
the universe's history—"
Ralph's head did fill with visions sweet:
acceptance from the Nicelanders;
of pie, and cake, and living in
the very place he daily wrecked.
Loved by all, accepted in
society as one who had
some good to do. No more pariah
status his, the tables turned,
Gene in the dumps—where he belonged.
But blinded by these dreams of bliss
Ralph stepped amiss, onto an egg—
and in a trice, a small cy-bug
stood looking—then flew on his face.
As Hologram went droning on
of "dignity; stern pressure faced;"
et cetera—Ralph round the room
did stumble, trying to detach
th'infernal insect from his mug.
Then he fell into a chair,
a pod of exit standing there—
and then Ralph and the bug were launched
through space out of control.
At the sound of Ralph's first strike,
the soldiers and the fixer gaped—
"The tower!" cried the Amazon.
And then before they caught their breath
to stop th'intruder in his tracks
they saw the pod fly off in space—
then bend with most insensate speed
direct at them—"Look out!" they cried.
The pod made for the exit door—
now Amazon and Felix both
tried looking hard as it flew by
the renegades within to see.
Much to their shock, they each did see
the thing feared most: for Felix, Ralph
sat in the chair where pilots guide
their craft through air—but for the soldier,
even worse. At the sight,
her blood ran cold—this was disaster,
not controlled—for hanging on the
big lug's face, a nightmare
that she nightly faced: a cy-bug there!