XVII.
Suddenly, a gárage door
flung open—and there stood the king!
Flanked by his minions, he cried out:
"You, glitch! Stop—and do not move an inch!"
Then noticed Ralph. "And Wreck-it Ralph?
Why are you here?" Thinking quickly,
Ralph did squirt cake frosting in
the monarch's face. "Sire, are you hurt?"
a minion asked. "No, he just glazed me",
quipped the king. "Come on! Let's scram!"
urged Ralph of small Vanellope.
Embarrassedly she looked at him:
"A real kart I don't know to drive."
"You don't—!"cried Ralph. "Oh, jeez louise!"
And making use of his great hands
he rolled them through a window near,
and off they went, away from there.

King's men pursued—there seemed no hope;
Van cried out, "Towards that mountain—
through the wall!" Ralph protested;
but once again, what choice was there?
He braced for impact; but, instead,
through solid-looking wall they sped.
Coming to a crashing halt,
regained their wits, and rubbed their heads.
Outside, the king was sore perplexed:
"Where did they go? Disaster this!
Find that glitch! Destroy that kart!
She must not race! Go on, and start!"

Inside the mountain, still and dark,
Ralph's temper had a rightful spark.
"You cannot drive?! What madness this?
Did you mean to win," he minced,
"'just 'cause I really want to'? Sheesh!"
"Now look here, wise guy, I can race—
it's in my code; I feel it there!
The visions keep me up at night;
and in the day as well, I see
faint pictures deep within my mind
of racing in a candy kart.
Since my life's so boring otherwise,
I've spent my days, a-picking up
scraps here and there, a kart to make.
I'm full aware my pedal kart
was not a match for ones the others race;
bút I cánnot different do—
the visions drive me strangely on."
Ralph did despair; it was upon
this slender reed his chances lay—
now seemed no hope—done was his day.
"That's it! Now I shall never see
my medal more!" She asked of him:
"Why is that crummy disc so dear
to you, that it obsesses so?"
"That crummy disc? Well let me tell:
It may come as a shock to you,
but in my game I play the vill'n;
in garbage live I—" "Cool!" "No way!
There's nothing that's the least bit cool
about that life: I am alone;
people hate me; the boredom's great.
And that crummy medal was
my ticket out. If I'd come home
with that on me, there would have been
great revelry; my home'd no longer
be the dump; friends would I have;
a happy life. It's grown-up stuff,
I do not think you understand."
"I get it, Ralph, I truly do—
racing would the same for me."
He spoke with ire: "Well, guess what?
You nor I are going to get
one tiny bit of what we want!"

Depressed, Ralph wandered 'bout to see
what type of place they'd entered in.
In the mountain's deepest core
there stood a pool. Above were many
discs of white. A sign hard by read:
"Diet Cola Hot Springs—Watch
For Falling Mentos! Dangerous!"
Vanellope came bounding up.
"Yeah, check it out; you gotta watch
the splash—that stuff is boiling hot."
She threw a stone, dislodged one Mento,
which then dropped into the spring.
It burned right up; the fire arced,
and hit Ralph's foot. The pain intense,
he hopped about. "Um, thanks, I got that—
what is this dump?" "A bonus level,
incomplete—I think, but I'm not
really sure. Pretty cool, huh?
I found that secret opening;
and now I make this place my home."

Skipping off with great élan,
she cried, "Oh look oh look! My room.
I sleep in wrappers that I find
and bundle up as best I can!"
Ralph's heart fell then. "All by yourself?
In all this garbage?" –"Well, yeah.
You've seen that everybody here
thinks I've no right to e'en exist.
Where should I live, if not this lair?"
Sadly, Ralph said, "Listen, kid.
It's not my business, but even so—
why don't you from this game go forth?"
Forlorn came Van's reply: "You really
don't know anything, do you?
Glitches cannot leave their games—
part of the 'joy' of being me."

Anger now did leave Ralph's stage
for good; it would not more return.
He saw quite clearly what she faced;
and he forgave her tormenting.
"Her life's in truth as bad as mine;
no, even worse—she's trapped in it.
I want the medal back—it's true—
as much as this, I'd like to see
her happier; it seems to me
there's goodness there, beneath the sass.
I know just what is needed to
bring both of us to better state."
Armed with this thought, he took his fists
and set to pound a circuit round
the fiery pool. Van yelled, "Hey! Now
what are you doing? Come on! I know
that it's a dump—don't make it worse!"

The circuit stood now quite complete.
"A racer you will never be,
unless you learn to drive. Agreed?
And driving you will never learn,
unless you've got a track." "Oh wow!"
The circuit Ralph had pounded out
in truth was such a practice loop.
"Come on", he said, "now hustle up.
We've got some driving now to do!"
Out of her mind with joy, she leaped;
first here, then there, and hollered out,
"I'm gonna learn to drive! I'm gonna
learn to drive! I'm gonna learn—"
She stopped. "Wait—what know you of driving?"
"I know't—look, I flew a spaceship
earlier—" "You crashed, you mean."
"Just get in. We'll work it out."

The hardest part was going to be
the pedals on the floor; those three
would take some résearch. Starting up
was not so hard; the engine idled,
with good sound. "This one's for 'go',"
said Ralph, and pressed upon the rightmost.
The engine roared—one out of three.
"This is the 'stopper'", he now said,
and pressed upon the middle one.
Now to the leftmost both did look.
He pressed—'twas loose—"I don't think this
does anything." At this same time,
she saw a lever bright aside
the cockpit: "What's this joystick do?"—
and moved it. Suddenly the kart
lurched forward, then it spluttered out.

With further trying, they did learn
about manu'l transmissión.
For some time, they gamely worked
to get this down—and then, at last,
she got the knack: prolix indeed,
she just went nuts, showed off her speed.
"I told you, Ralph, it's in my code!"
Round and round the track she flew;
neither could believe this new
turn of events. Ralph, happy, thought:
"The medal's in the bag! She'll win!"
"Hey, Ralphie, check this out!"
Now did she leave track behind,
and climb an unused bit of track
that crossed the hot springs. Then she flew
off into space—her plan was clear—
jump the springs, land safe on track.
All at once, she glitched, and moved
a car length up—and Mentos hit!
She was okay, but many fell;
and the flames burned poor Ralph's feet—
he hopped around and felt much pain.
To a stop in front of him,
she finally skid. Upon her face,
there stood a look of absolute
excitement; and her hair looked like
Medusa's snaky mop.

"How'd I do?" she breathless asked.
"Well—" he paused—"you almost blew
the mountain up." "Good note," said she.
With visage stern he to her said:
"Kid, you gotta get that glitch
under control." "Okay, okay!
I will. And then you think I got
a chance?" Ralph feigned to think. Of course
she did—but he had sport with her.
"Tiny." She took this as "yes".
"I'm gonna win! I'm gonna win!
I'm gonna win! I'm gonna win!"
He offered to her, fist to bump,
and smiling, said to her, "Top shelf."
Smiling too, she bumped right back;
and answered him in kind: "Top shelf!"