"Where's Jack? Where's the baby?"
"Kate! What is happening?"
"Is Lauren okay? And Jack?"
"Did someone take Aaron?"
The cacophony of voices was heightening Kate's blood pressure and she needed to move away from all of them. The crowd followed her, their cries for answers all blurring together in Kate's ears. She couldn't be free of them, their desperation to be reassured was growing, and Kate didn't know what to do. She tried to push them away, but when one backed off, another took their place, vying for her attention.
"Back off, ya fuckin' hyenas! Give the lady some space," Sawyer shouted over the crowd, forcing the attention onto him. "Geez it's like y'all never learned any manners."
Kate slipped into her tent for a moment to compose herself as Sawyer continued to lecture them like a disappointed mother. It only distracted them for so long. Kate could still hear the commotion outside her tent, the questions, the fears, the whispers. They were clawing at her, and suddenly the tent felt too small, the tarps were enclosing her, and in their plastic she couldn't breath. She burst out of the tent, sucking in the fresh beach air. The crowd huddled around her, but Kate started running, in spite of her growing panic attack. She ran down the beach, past the last bits of camp, over to where Jack and her had cradled Aaron for hours as he sobbed from starvation. The painful memories pushed her over the edge, and she fell to her knees under a tree, and cried out in the way only a mother who just lost her child could cry.
The other survivors left her alone, and Kate allowed herself only a few minutes to freak out. When the shuddering sobs subsided and Kate was left rocking herself, alone, she finally lifted her head and wiped her tears. Her fierce green eyes were steeled against the sun and anyone who stood in her way. She didn't know exactly what she was going to do, but now was the time to do it. Kate stood up and walked back to camp.
As she tried to make herself stand straighter, seem stronger, her heart was pounding all the while, with the demon on her shoulder telling her she was incapable of leading, she would never succeed. She would never see Aaron again. But as all eyes turned to her, and the survivors surrounded her from a distance, Kate spoke with an even tone.
"The Others have taken Aaron, Jack, Lauren, and Locke. I don't know exactly where they are, but I have an idea," She took out the note in her pocket and lifted it up. "'If you pass the notebooks, you've gone too far.' Well, that's somewhere to start."
"Where's Sayid?" Michael asked.
Kate's heart dropped to her stomach, if Sayid wasn't here she had no idea how she was going to get Aaron back. Nobody else here was a fighter the way he was, and Kate couldn't do this alone.
"He wasn't with us when we got captured, maybe he's found something useful, and he's on his way back, I'm not sure. But what I know is that we are going to get everyone back. Jack, Lauren, Locke, Sayid, and… and Aaron. It's going to be okay."
"How are we going to get them back, when we only have a couple knives, and no trackers."
"Well, we have more guns at the hatch," Kate began.
"The hatch? The hell is the hatch?"
"Locke found it in the jungle, it's a long story, but it's like a bunker with a computer in it and we have to press a button every 108 minutes or something catastrophic happens. But it's stocked with food and guns, but it's not big enough for all of us to live in. We can take shifts, Hurley's there now and I'm sure he desperately needs to be relieved. Charlie and Michael, I'll take you with me first and you both can have the tour and take on the next 24 hour shift pressing the button. You can decide how you break, but you have to do it together, nobody's going to be alone."
"Whoa there Annie, hold your horses, we don't know nothing about nothing. You can't just go off tromping into the jungle with daddy-o and babycakes and no plan," Sawyer piped up.
"I'm taking the reins, Sawyer, if you don't like it, get off the ride," Kate retorted as she ushered Michael and Charlie to the hatch.
*Passage of Time*
Hurley was dead on his feet, and he opted not to walk back to camp but instead take a fitful nap on the bunk bed. Kate had gotten Michael and Charlie set up with the numbers written down, and she was packing up MREs and water, along with plenty of guns and ammo, when Sawyer strode into the hatch with Jin and Sun.
"Kate!" Sun ran up to her and hugged her tight, and Kate felt soothed in her arms for a second.
"Sun! What's going on? You told him?"
"I had to, we have to help you, and he understands our issues are not our biggest problem right now. We have to get your baby back." Sun had a fierce, determined look in her eye, and Kate knew at that moment she had a strong ally.
"And you," Kate nodded at Sawyer, "You want to help or are you here to bitch about our ignorance some more?"
"Your ignorance, Freckles, is what keeps things interesting. You said if I don't like you taking the reins I could get off the ride, well sweet cheeks, you're one ride I'd never turn down."
"Jesus Christ, Sawyer, we're on a mission to save my baby, have some fucking class."
Sawyer looked a little ashamed, and Kate rolled her eyes and turned to draw a crude map on a sheet of notebook paper. She explained to her small team that they needed to head North through the jungle, and find the notebook drop, and hopefully find Sayid along the way.
"Charlie, tell Hurley when he wakes up that Shannon and Nikki are on for the next shift, and if they don't like it, they can get their own food and water. Tell them there's a shower and a mirror."
With that, Kate led Sawyer, Sun and Jin north, and though she was confident in her ability to physically lead them to the notebook drop, Kate's inner demons were pelting her with doubts of her leadership abilities. No one would trust her if she got someone killed, and her demons listed the casualties of all of her bad decisions. Aaron couldn't be one of them. Even if he wasn't killed, the loss of him would wound her to her core, and fill her with the utmost shame. Her promise to Claire was all that mattered now. She would protect him with her life, and if other people wanted to put themselves in harm's way for his sake, she wasn't going to stop them. Sun and Jin made sense, they had been invested in Aaron's wellbeing since the beginning, but Sawyer… he was the curveball. She didn't know if he had a good heart that he kept well hidden, or if this was some weird power play, but either way she didn't trust him. His behavior around the camp made him off putting, but Kate needed the muscle for this mission, so she wasn't going to turn him away.
There was a storm in the distance and when darkness made it impossible to see each other just yards apart, the crew decided to camp for the night. Sun, who had done the least physical labor in her life, was exhausted, and Kate wasn't going to push her too hard. Jin and Sawyer collected firewood, while Kate divided up the food they had packed. When the small fire was lit, and they had eaten their servings, they didn't speak much, but Sawyer hummed a tune as they all fell asleep.
They hadn't been sleeping long, when a loud explosion woke the group up. In the darkness, the noise was the only indication something had changed. There was no light from a fireball, no shrapnel flying nearby, only a rumbling boom that echoed in the near distance.
"Son of a bitch," Sawyer muttered as he rubbed his eyes and stood up hastily.
Jin said something in Korean to Sun, who responded in kind.
"That was close, we need to get moving," Kate commanded, quickly stuffing her blanket into her pack.
"Get moving where?" Sawyer retorted grumpily.
"To wherever that blast came from."
"Oh we're gonna go towards the sound of danger, right."
"Scared, Sawyer?"
"In your dreams, Freckles."
And with that, they moved through the jungle, in pure darkness, towards the sound of the explosion. Kate felt it came from the Northeast, but wasn't entirely confident. There were many dead ends in their journey, and it took all day for them to find the smoldering remains of The Flame.
As the sun set behind them, Sawyer, Kate, and Jin circled the perimeter guns drawn, but found no one. Well, no one alive.
"He didn't die from the explosion…" Kate said, staring down at Mikhail's dead body.
"Sayid?" Jin asked, noticing the bullet wound in the man's temple.
"Let's hope not…" Kate responded, staring at the smoke drifting North in the wind.