Chapter Ten

Just a few days later, as I sorted through Derrick's old chest one morning, I came across an interesting pan. It had fanning sides like a cereal bowl and was wide with ridges running the circular planes. I turned it back and forth in my hands, my brow furrowed. It seemed familiar, as if I had seen it in a movie or a book. The metal material was way too hard to collect eggs in it. I tilted it between my fingers before I stepped out of my house. It glimmered in the morning sun as my boots crunched through the grass. I paused just on the bank of the small creek running along the back of the property. Derrick had a watering can, why on earth would he rely on a bowl like this? Did he leave it out for his dog or other animals somewhere? Was there something that made it particularly special or useful? I knelt down and eased it into the languid current. The water was cool and sensational against my skin as I washed the dusty bowl out. When I brought it out, I stopped, noticing some small shimmering rocks gathered up in the ridges. I craned my neck in close. They were silver sediments. That's when it clicked. This wasn't a bowl, this was a gold pan. Excitedly, I sent the bowl back into the water and nudged it along the ground, stirring up some mud and rocks. And when it came back up, there was even more caked against the sides. I became fixated on this, bringing another bowl out as I sat criss crossed on the bank, scraping my findings to safety before going for another dunk. I felt like some adventurer who had traveled far for the hopes of making bank. After an hour of doing this, my bowl was full of gleaming little silver rocks. I inspected their ridges, watching the way the light reflected off their metallic surface. Was no one aware of this creek's powers?

That's when I wondered if Saibara would buy them from me. Surely the forge had a use for it. I wasn't entirely eager to work with Saibara, however. In all my weeks here, the few interactions we shared were somewhat frustrating. It was always pleasant professionalism with him, treating me no more than a perfect stranger. But I knew deep down, he understood who I was. Part of me wished he would just confront me on this and ask for my explanation. I had spent many nights falling asleep in bed imagining different scenarios where I spoke to him about it. Some of those situations had me demanding his part of the story and even going as bold to say 'how could you?'. While others were more even keeled with a mutual understanding. Kai never painted a very nice portrait of Saibara. The way he claimed he was stealing Gray's soul and blurring the boundaries of work to life balance was all I could see about Saibara. But, surely, there was something more hidden beneath that reserved exterior that portrayed itself as nothing more than business as usual. Maybe he regret what he did. Maybe he wished he hadn't acted so rash. From my own personal experience, I knew Saibara had a temper. Perhaps he had worked on that and maybe that's why he was so involved in Gray's training.

I decided it was worth a try and whisked the bowl off the top of my shipping bin. There was a nice warm breeze grazing between the trees and along the path as I made the short walk to the forge. It stuck out like such a sore thumb in the vibrant and eccentric environment. A black pill, as dark as the soot that lined the floor. It was an almost daunting little building. When I pushed through the front door, a sight I was not expecting greeted me. Gray was sitting at the front desk where Saibara typically was. His hat was turned backwards and he had smudges of coal along his jaw and brow line. His ashen hair was messy, plastered across his sticky forehead. His dirty boots were kicked up on the desk while Gray took a break, working on a crossword puzzle from a small activity book. When he heard the bell, his feet immediately dropped and he went to stow the book quickly. But when he saw it was only me, he seemed to relax a little.

"Claire, hey," he stood up, running his sweaty hands along his stained coveralls. "I thought you were my grandpa."

"Where is he?"

"Went to go see some friends," Gray licked his lips. "On Waffle Island."

"Well, I'm glad to see you're not burning your eyebrows off over a fire," I smiled at him and he seemed quite sheepish. Gray and I still weren't the same. We were like a vase that had been tragically broken. But I believed in kintsugi. I was hopeful that, eventually, as the pieces came back together, something golden could be mended between them. "I had an inquiry." I stepped forward now, placing the bowl on the desk between us. Gray's bold brow arched as he plucked a small rock off the top, turning it in his hands. "Will the forge accept silver?"

"Pretty incredible you found so much," Gray picked the bowl up, sifting his fingers through it. His nail beds were black with soot. "This would be enough for a small ingot, at least."

"Can you make an offer?"

"Let me weigh it," Gray said, crossing the room to his work desk. It was pretty well kept for a blacksmith's station. The walls in front of him were plastered with blueprints. The surface of the desk had a variety of small mallets and hammers. I came a little further into the forge, the farthest I had pressed yet. Above Gray's workbench was a small shelf where a collection of old tin cars were lined up. He and his father used to collect them from every antique shop Mrs. Williams dragged them to. Taped just on the outskirts of his blueprints were a few personal photos, as well. There was one portraying a young Gray, no more than fifteen, huddled over that same desk, while a younger looking Saibara peered over his work. Another one was of him and Kai laying on the beach. His eyes were closed, his face turned up into the sun, while beside him, Kai was pretending to pour his beer onto Gray. And just below that was a picture that made me pause. It was a picture of us. We were maybe ten, at best, standing in the large living room of the Williams' home with its tall, vaulted ceiling. We were excitedly showing off the massive city of Legos we had made. It made the entire room practically impassable. A smile had formed on my lips as I approached the wall, looking at our toothy grins. Gray cast a double look at me as he continued on with measuring the weight of the silver. "I found that picture the other day. Thought it'd look nice there."

"Is it crazy I remember that day so vividly?" My eyes never left the photo. "We took over the living room, your mom made squash casserole and latkes, and then they took us to the movies…"

"It was one of many good days," Gray didn't look at me now.

"Gods do I miss that."

"I can offer you a hundred bucks for this," Gray turned to me. I accepted since a hundred dollars for an hour of work seemed like a pretty good deal. As he counted the bills out, he peered up at me. "How was Forget-Me-Not Valley? Haven't seen you since."

"It was good," I nodded. "I'm sure Kai's told you all about it."

"Surprisingly, no," Gray reached under the desk and pulled an envelope out. "Just tried to make me jealous about the fantastic lunch I missed, of course. But there's no way Ruby was feeding you guys until three in the morning."

"We met up with Marlin at the Blue Bar," I told him. "Lost track of time."

Our eyes met and I couldn't quite tell what he was thinking. Did he know there was a teensy bit of left out information? Was he aware that Kai had kissed me? Would that even bother him? The kiss was no big deal, I told myself. It was a tender, caring thing in the heat of a very emotionally driven moment. But it didn't mean anything else. Of course, I'd be more mortified for Gray to find out I had spilled my guts about his parents.

"Yeah, Kai's a night owl," Gray finally said, pushing the envelope into my hand. "Speaking of which, I'm guessing lunch is on you today?" He smiled and that familiar spark of playfulness flashed through his bright blue eyes. I relaxed just the tiniest bit and laughed airly. We hadn't had lunch there together in nearly three days. We just kept missing each other.

"What time?" I turned my head to the side, returning the grin. Something about the way his lips curled made me feel a bit giddy, as if I had captured lightning in a bottle. I wanted him to smile more, just like he always did when we were kids. That smile always pulled me out of the worst of funks. And it had always been my driving factor to get out of my comfort zone when he was a more daring young boy.

"I just gotta do the morning sweep up," Gray replied, gesturing with his thumb over his shoulder. "I'll come by the farm in a little bit so we can walk together. How's that?"

"Works for me."

"Great," he nodded. I couldn't tell if it was the heat of the forge or our exchange, but a bit of red gathered along his cheekbones.

When I stepped back out into the sunlight, I took a deep breath of fresh air. I had no idea how Gray managed to stay cooped up in that forge for even an hour, let alone a ten hour shift. I fidgeted with the now empty bowl in my hand as I began back to my farm. I kept thinking about the way Gray looked at me as he innocently tried to pry into our visit to the neighboring village. He knew, that's all I could deduct. Or, at least, he assumed. Gray knew Kai so much better than I did, he had his own silent narrative in his head behind his words. But what did that even matter? I couldn't fathom Gray being jealous or upset by it happening. We had never been romantically involved. Granted, we were young, but I didn't imagine Gray had a crush on me. I assumed he saw me as a sister. But, suddenly, there was a renewed ground between us. Maybe after so much time, Gray was coming to terms with my presence here. It made my heart skip a beat at the thought. It didn't matter the reason, I told myself. He was making an effort and I saw that.

Back at my farm, I set the janky ladder I found in the barn against the side of the chicken coop. Each step up felt a bit perilous and I felt safer on the crappy roof than I did on the ladder. I came close to the hole and peered in. I then dragged the plywood near and fumbled some nails between my fingers. I was never much of a carpenter. I was used to having landlords who would send techs to fix whatever was wrong. But I was on my own now, and surprisingly, I was starting to get used to it, and even like it. I lined the plywood up to cover the entirety of the damage. Bringing the hammer back, I made my first strike into a nail, which drove down.

"You know, coming to Forget-Me-Not Valley to live with Vesta probably saved my life," Marlin said. He was leaned up against the bar, giving his tumbler of whiskey a swirl. The ice cubes clinked together.

The sun was hot on the back of my neck as I slowly worked the nail down. I then lined the next one up.

"I got sick - lung cancer- while I was living in The City."

The force of the hammer coming down riveted through my body.

"You know, Claire's from The City, too," Kai said, lowering his beer.

"Oh yeah? What chased you out?"

I adjusted the plywood once more to make sure it was straight as I put the next nail against the fourth corner. I reached for my hammer and paused for just a moment, before I began whacking it over and over again.

"Loneliness," I replied. "In a city of thousands, there was no one there for me."

I sat back now to look at my work. Surely that would keep the rain out for now and prevent any further damage. I'd have to find someone in town with the proper ladder so I could patch it from the inside as well. I was hopeful that this, however, was enough to please Rick and convince him to sell me a chicken. The eggs would be another nice stream of money alongside my new found panning hobby from the creek. And once I could get a reasonable field of crops growing, there was no telling what I could accomplish after that.

"Hey, Claire," I looked over my shoulder to see Gray coming onto the farm. He had washed his face and his clear complexion glowed in the early afternoon light. His coverall sleeves were rolled, his hat now turned forward. He took his time to look over my field of budding crops. I had just staked dowels into the ground and my tomato vines were eagerly climbing up. Gray cast a glance at my house as he came to stand on the side of the coop. "It's really coming together," he said, putting his hands on his hips. "You've done a lot in just a few weeks. Derrick wasn't even so lucky to have grass this green in the middle of summer."

"The secret is not giving it the time of day," I laughed, wiping some sweat from my brow. I dusted my hands off from the plywood and took a moment to look over my farm from my vantage point. Even with the field only being half cleared and a quarter tilled, it looked much less like a cemetery and more like a work in progress. The barn doors were still crooked, however. I had bungeed them shut because it sounded like a haunted house on windy nights. And the stable in the far corner needed shingles. "It's getting there. At least it's not Mineral Town's landfill anymore."

I began to reach for the ladder when my hammer started to slide. Quickly, my hand darted out for it, but with too much force. I became unsteady and gasped sharply as I lost balance, falling off the side of the coop. Everything was a blur in my eyes as my stomach lurched into my throat. I crashed into Gray who wrapped his arms around me in an attempt to catch me. Surprisingly, he did, but it sent him falling down as well and we spilled across the grass. My heart was pounding in my chest as I opened my eyes, aware that I wasn't hurt. I let out an uneven breath as I turned my head against the grass. Gray was sitting up beside me, reaching for his hat that had flown off. I propped myself up on my elbow.

"Well, that could have been a lot worse…" I straightened up completely now, taking another deep breath as I dangled my arms over my knees. I cocked my head to look at him. "Thank you, Gray."

Gray was on his feet now, looking the ladder up and down. He glanced over his shoulder at me. "It was probably safer to fall off than to use this death trap. The rust is so deep, it's ready to snap in half."

"I'll put it on my order list after my first harvest," I felt a bit sheepish, almost embarrassed, of what had just happened. Gray seemed unphased, however, as he came towards me, offering his hand out.

"The inn has one you can use. I can bring it over after work."

I stared at his hand for a beat before accepting it. He had warm, grooved calluses on his fingertips from his blacksmithing. His hand was so much bigger than mine, practically swallowing it. With simple ease, Gray hoisted me to my feet and our hands lingered together for just a bit longer before we let go. I laughed sheepishly, rubbing the nape of my sweaty neck.

"Let's go, I'm starving," Gray waved for me to follow him.

…

Lunch at Kai's that day was a homemade chicken pot pie from scratch. The crust was flaky and soft and inside was a delightful array of steamed vegetables and tender, juicy chunks of chicken. Though it was a warm day out, the pot pie was enticing, divine, and hit the spot just right. Gray ate nearly half of it on his own. With his work being so physical, I imagined it was easy to work up quite an appetite.

"I swear, is there some infinite cooler in the back or something?!" I exclaimed as Kai slammed my third beer in front of me. He popped the cap off and I sighed, digging my elbows into the bar. "You're a bad influence."

"Hey, this is a call for celebration!" Kai held his bottle up. "Saibara's gone for the whole week, Gray is a free man!"

I scraped my fork across my plate, casting a look to Gray, who was busy nursing his own drink. "What does he even do for a whole week on Waffle Island?"

"Meets up with some old war buddies and colleagues from his last forge," Gray waved his hand almost dismissively. "They play poker, they rave about tea. I don't get them."

"With him gone, Gray can take his lunch break on his own time and drink as much as he pleases," Kai leaned forward, his face near mine.

"Well, I still have work to do," Gray deadpanned. "But it's not as cutthroat, if that's what you're getting at."

"Saibara doesn't drink?"

"Oh, he does. Jack on ice every evening after the forge closes," Gray told me. "But he says during training, it will make me sloppy."

"Such a buzzkill," Kai practically rolled his eyes. "He's downplaying how good you really are."

I pointed my beer at Gray. "I'd love to see some of your work. Maybe you can fix my watering can. It's leaking, so I'm just using the hose right now."

Gray shook his head as he took a hearty gulp out of his bottle. "I can't work on tools without him present. It's part of my training requirements dictated by the Board of Blacksmith's."

"So," I shrugged. "What can you work on while he's gone?"

"Jewelry, primarily," he replied. "I usually practice while he's away. There are blueprints that are part of proving my apprenticeship."

"You've been doing this Board of Blacksmith curriculum for nearly seven years, man," Kai slapped his palm against the bar. "When are you done and a certified blacksmith of your own?"

"Whenever my grandfather says I'm good enough to take the test."

Kai sighed and shook his head. It was clear he wanted more for his friend. I recalled the nights when Kai openly spoke to me about it. He was trying so hard to hold onto the Gray he had befriended, who was quickly shaping up to be all business and no fun. I could tell Gray was taking his apprenticeship seriously, though. Even just one slip up beneath Saibara's watchful, detailed, scrutinizing eyes could set Gray back indefinitely. I admired his work ethic. Like Kai, however, I was also trying to find the version of Gray I had lost, but sometimes it felt like we were both searching for two entirely different people.

Gray took his hat off for a moment, raking his hands through his hair. It was still so foreign to see him with that ashy blond hair, but nonetheless, it made my heart leap for some odd reason. At the same time, Kai snapped his fingers and ducked beneath the bar. Gray and I both paused, listening to him sift through several boxes down below. Gray resorted to tossing his hat on the bar, his layered hair messy with sweat from his morning work. Kai re-emerged after a few minutes, plopping a black ring box down in front of me. I arched my eyebrows, looking at him with big question marks in my eyes.

"You said you wanted to see some of Gray's work," Kai told me. "He made me that ring in the box."

I cast a smile at Gray who now seemed rather sheepish. Slowly, I pushed the box open to reveal a small silver ring. It was in need of a polish, but as I lifted it into the light, I saw Gray had skillfully pulled on the silver to make it look as if thorns were reaching out from the band. Though it was relatively simple, it spoke a lot of Gray's artisan style. Elegant, beautiful, and telling.

Gray cleared his throat. "I read in a book that a silver thorned ring was a sign of good luck."

"It's wonderful," I grinned at Gray, still turning the ring between my fingers. "Why don't you wear it?"

"Well, when he gave it to me, it fit perfectly," Kai took it from me, staring at it for a beat. "But I've gained a bit of weight since then, so it's tight now." His face lit up, though, and he reached for my hand, sliding it onto my right ring finger. "Looks like it fits you just right!" Kai said, giving my hand a squeeze. He then looked up at me, our faces only inches apart. "Not that you need it, but it should bring you good luck on the farm."

"Uh, yeah," Gray chimed in, rubbing at his neck in an almost uncomfortable way. Kai immediately leaned back from me. "We could definitely use the rain for your crops."

"I'm dying to try one of those pineapples," Kai agreed, not missing a beat. Slowly, I licked my lips, seeing Gray in the corner of my eyes. To him, this might have been confirming the thoughts he had in his mind, the ones I was certain were not true at all. Just friends, I wanted to iterate. We're all just… friends.

"Yeah," I forced a laugh, trying to keep the mood of the room consistent. "I hope it all turns out alright. What was I thinking? Insurance rep turned farmer, maybe I'll grow the best produce ever."

"You were what?" Gray's entire face came to look at me now and I could tell he was surprised.

"Uh oh," Kai teased, snickering behind his beer. "You know, Gray has got a thing for clerk girls."

"Oh, come on," Gray sighed, his cheeks turning rosy. "That's not true."

Kai gave me a playful look despite Gray's protests. "He's had the biggest crush on Mary for, like, ever."

"She's nice, that's all," Gray continued to push back. "She gets all the best deals from book traders. Mary has found every book I've ever requested. We're just friends."

"There's no harm in liking her, though," I shrugged. "Like you said, she's nice. And you both share an affinity for reading."

Gray stared at me for a beat before letting out a short scoffing laugh. "I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm weird. Especially after she's gotten closer to Ann, the biggest gossip of the inn."

"I think you're being paranoid," I said, finishing my beer. The moment I set it down, Kai was already opening a new one. "Mary, Ann, and Popuri are all great!"

"Oh, Popuri," Gray looked to Kai with a smile, eager for his turn to do the ribbing.

"Ah, shut up," Kai bat his hand towards the apprentice. "That was like a year ago now."

For a moment, I remembered when Ann had been shaking the life out of me to heed her warning. I blinked rapidly, wrapping my hand around my sweaty beer. "What happened?"

"Ultimately?" Kai shrugged, raising his eyebrows. "We just weren't compatible."

"You're not gonna weasel out of this one," Gray spoke up, surprising me. "Come on, Kai, I know you wouldn't miss a beat to bring my stories up, so why don't we talk about yours?"

"Gray, no, really it's not impor-"

"It's fine," Kai cut me off, casting a glance at Gray. Despite their tense banter, there was still something friendly between them. Kai let out a long sigh and meandered to the fridge, where he pulled a bottle of vodka down, slamming it on the counter between us. "You're right, Gray. Fair is fair. Why don't you tell it?" He lined us up a row of shots, the two men's eyes never leaving each other as they threw their heads back.

"Well," Gray clucked his tongue, his bright blue eyes meeting mine. "It all started when Kai wanted to raise a chicken for fresher ingredients…"