Eric, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Peter, Rainbow Dash, and Ariel were hanging out at Eric's house, playing some Call of Duty: Warzone. Eric's mother, Liane, came into the room, wearing a grease-stained apron.
"Eric, hon, soon it'll be time for dinner and for you friends to go home!" said Liane.
"Shut up, mom!" said Eric. "I've gotta get this kill!"
Liane sighed, and headed back into the kitchen. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and Peter got up and answered it. Standing in the foyer was a military general dressed in a green uniform.
"What can I do for you, General?" asked Peter.
"I need to come inside to tell you," said the General.
The General came in and sat down on the couch. He grabbed the television remote, turned the television off, and snatched the game controller from Eric.
"Hey!" exclaimed Eric. "I was playing with that! Give it back right now you pig fucker!"
"Listen, son," said the General. "You'll get it back after I explain. You know how Mechagodzilla and Cthulhu started attacking our country?"
"Yeah," said Eric. "Why?"
"Well, it turns out that Mechagodzilla and Cthulhu were both sent out by the Canadian government. Apparently, they're trying to wage war on us, but instead of using military weapons, they're using other devices," explained the General.
"Why is this relevant to us?" asked Peter.
"Well, since you guys defeated both Mechagodzilla and Cthulhu, I think you have what it takes to defeat all of Canada! It's gonna be a three step mission: first, you defeat the Canadian military, then you defeat the Canadian government officials, and finally, you defeat the Canadian President." the General explained.
"So, let me get this straight," said Eric. "You want us to defeat the Canadian military, government, and kill the Canadian President?"
"Yes," said the General.
"We'll do it!" said Eric, without hesitation.
The very next day, Eric, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Peter, Rainbow Dash, and Ariel were deployed by the U.S. military into Canada. They were given weapons such as guns and bombs, and vehicles such as tanks and jets to help them defeat the Canadian military. Eric, Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Peter got into a tank, while Rainbow Dash and Ariel got into a jet.
With their vehicles and weapons ready, the group made their way over to the Canadian White House. The Canadian President saw them coming from miles away, and assembled the entire Canadian military to guard the Canadian White House. By the time the group arrived at the Canadian White House, there was an entire army of Canadian planes, tanks, and soldiers lined up, guarding the building.
"Damn," said Eric from inside the tank. "We'll never be able to take all these bastards down!"
Ariel's voice came over a communicator. "We'll take the left side, you guys take the right side!"
Peter loaded a shell into the barrel, and pressed the fire button. The shell blasted out of the barrel and landed on the ground, exploding and destroying numerous tanks and killing numerous soldiers. The Canadians began to fight back. The Canadian soldiers readied their weapons, and began shooting at the tank.
Rainbow Dash, noticing what was happening, fired a barrage of bullets at the ground, tearing holes in tanks and killing more soldiers. Back in the tank, Peter loaded another shell in the barrel, and Eric pressed the fire button. The shell fired out of the barrel, and once again, it exploded, killing more soldiers and exploding more tanks.'
Suddenly, one of the Canadian fire planes began shooting bullets at Ariel and Rainbow Dash's plane. Ariel wanted to fire a bomb to get back at them, but Rainbow Dash wanted to leave the bomb for last, just in case Eric and the others hit overwhelming trouble with their tank. Rainbow Dash pressed the fire button, and got back at the Canadian plane with a barrage of bullets, exactly the same thing the Canadian plane did.
The Canadian soldiers began firing at the tank, meaning that they had to move faster. Peter loaded another shell into the barrel, which Eric quickly shot out. Peter then loaded another shell in, Eric fired it, and then he loaded another one in. If they could move faster with the shell firing, they could defeat the Canadian army sooner, and advance onto the next part of the mission.
Suddenly, one of the Canadian tanks perked up, and shot out a massive shell at Eric and the others' tank. The shell struck the tank right on the barrel, knocking it completely off.
"Fuck!" screamed Eric. "Now we've got no barrel! How are we supposed to fire shells now?"
Peter picked up the communicator. "Unleash the bomb! Now!"
Inside of the plane, Ariel leaned over to the bomb launcher button, and pressed it. A hatch opened up in the bottom of the plane, and a small bomb fell out from the hatch. The second the bomb hit the ground, it exploded into a massive cloud of orange, completely frying all of the Canadian planes and tanks and wiping out the remaining soldiers.
With the Canadian army defeated, Eric and the others climbed out of the tank, and Ariel and Rainbow Dash landed their plane. With their weapons in hand, they began running up to the door of the Canadian White House.
Inside of the Canadian White House, the Canadian President was absolutely furious. Since he no longer had a military to fight against Eric and the others, he called all of the Canadian officials into his office. He supplied each of them with guns, and sent them out to fight.
Meanwhile, Eric, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Peter, Rainbow Dash, and Ariel had finally made it to the entrance to the Canadian White House. Eric pushed open the doors, and the group bolted into the building and began running up all the staircases to get to the Canadian President's office. Just as the group made it halfway up the second staircase, Peter felt something hard strike his forehead. He soon realized he had been struck with a bullet, and the bullet somehow didn't kill him.
Immediately after the bullet struck Peter, tons of Canadian government officials wielding handguns began sprinting down the stairs. Eric, Kyle, Stan and Kenny loaded their guns, and began pelting the officials with bullets. Kenny took out two of them, Kyle and Stan hit three of them in the leg (not killing them,) and Eric took out one.
Suddenly, one of the Canadian officials took his gun, and chucked it directly at Eric's face. Eric fell to the ground in pain, but then, Peter came up to him, picked him up, and literally chucked him up to the top of the staircase.
"Get to the president's office," yelled Peter. "We'll kill these guys, you kill him!"
Eric nodded, and began making his way up the third staircase. Peter remembered that he had a grenade in his pocket, and pulled it out. He quickly pulled the pin on it and threw it, causing Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Rainbow Dash, and Ariel to scatter away from it. The grenade finally detonated, and shot up into a mesmerizing orange explosion. The Canadian officials fell short to the power of the grenade, and eventually succumbed to death.
Meanwhile, Eric was heading up the third staircase, his gun constantly pointing in different directions, just in case a Canadian official jumped out at him. Eric looked back, and saw that Peter and the others were making their way up the second staircase, catching up to Eric. Then, suddenly, a Canadian official jumped out at Eric and smacked the gun out of his hand.
The Canadian official pointed his gun directly at Eric's face, ready to blow his head off. However, Peter and the others finally caught up to Eric, and Kenny shot the Canadian guy in the chest, taking him out. Soon, more Canadian officials began descending from the ceiling on bungee cords, armed with even more dangerous weapons.
Like they did with the tank and the jet, the group divided into two sides. Eric, Kyle, Stan and Kenny took the left side, and Peter, Rainbow Dash and Ariel took the right side. Every time a Canadian official appeared on the left side, Eric, Kyle, Stan or Kenny would shoot them down. Every time one appeared on the right, Peter, Rainbow Dash, or Ariel would take it down.
Finally, all of the Canadian officials were killed off, the group only had the third part of the mission left to complete: killing the Canadian President. They had finally made it to the top floor of the Canadian White House after making it up all of the staircases, and stood at the front of the office door. With his right hand trembling, Eric reached out, and opened the door.
The Canadian President, desperately wanting to kill the group, armed himself with one of the most dangerous weapons of all time: the bazooka. The bazooka was powerful enough to take a man's head off with one blast, meaning that taking down the group would be a cakewalk.
The exact second that Eric and the others walked in, the Canadian President fired his bazooka, causing a massive explosion, creating a giant hole in the floor. Peter armed himself with a shotgun, and fired a massive bullet at the Canadian President, but somehow, he dodged it, and jumped all the way onto the ceiling.
Now on the ceiling, the Canadian President aimed his bazooka at the ground, firing another blast to the floor. Dodging the blast, Eric swooped in, and shot a bullet directly at the Canadian President's crotch area. The Canadian President fell to the floor in pain, and Eric pointed his gun at his head.
The Canadian President accelerated his hand forward, and slapped Eric's leg, making him fall to the ground. He reached over for Eric's gun, grabbed it, and pointed it at him. Eric braced himself for death, but then, Ariel swooped in at the last minute, and grabbed the Canadian President's bazooka. Just before the Canadian President could pull the trigger on the gun and kill Eric, Ariel fired a blast out of the bazooka, exploding the Canadian President's entire body.
Eric got up off the ground, and stared at the Canadian President's mutilated body in shock.
"Holy shit, you guys," he said. "We actually fucking did it!"
The very next day, the group was brought back to America, and they were brought to the White House to receive their awards. They were given not only Purple Hearts, but were also given Congressional Medals of Honor for their heroic actions.