I Wanna Be With You – Mandy Moore
I try, but I can't seem to get myself
To think of anything but you
Your breath on my face
Your warm, gentle kiss
I taste the truth, I taste the truth
You know what I came here for
So I won't ask for more
I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one who's in your arms
Who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more
Than to feel this way
I wanna be with you, yeah
So I'll hold you tonight
Like I would
If you were mine to hold
Forever more
And I'll savour each tough
That I wanted so much
To feel before
To fell before
How beautiful it is
Just to be like this
I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one who's in your arms
Who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more
Than to feel this way
I wanna be with you
Oh baby
I can't fight this feeling anymore
It drives me crazy when I try to
So call my name
Take my hand
And make my wish
Baby, your command
Yeah
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more
Than to feel this way
(I wanna be)
I wanna be with you
(I wanna be with you)
Ooh yeah
I wanna be with you
Wanna be with you, yeah
(I wanna be with you)
I wanna be
I wanna be with you
(I wanna be, I wanna be)
(I wanna be with you)
Yeah
(I wanna be with you)
I wanna be, I wanna be, baby
(I wanna be with you)
I wanna be
(I wanna be with you)
I wanna be with you, yeah
I wanna be with you
So many conflicting emotions were running through her. Guilt that she still had not told Colin she was Lady Whistledown. Anger that Cressida was taking credit for all she, herself had accomplished. Love for Colin so abundant that she thought her heart would burst. Embarrassment at fainting at the engagement party.
She had begun and screwed up a number of attempts at Whistledown to discredit Cressida, but she was too furious for the words to flow intelligently. A knock at her bedroom door interrupted her frustration.
"You have a visitor." Her mother's change in attitude was going to take some getting used to. She followed Portia to the drawing room.
"Pen." Seeing Colin greatly improved her mood. Having someone want to see her apart from Eloise (at least until recently) took some getting used to as well.
"Colin." How wonderful it felt to be looked at as though you hung the moon.
"Are you well? I have been worried." And back came the guilt.
"I am well enough, Colin." She did not wish to concern him, but she also was not going to lie to him. Anxiousness was creeping up on her again. "But perhaps you should not be here, in case it is catching."
"There is nowhere else I would rather be." Just when she thought there was a limit on how much more she could love him, he went and said the sweetest thing. " I know there is something you wish to tell me." Had Eloise mentioned something? "But I am happy to be patient until you are ready to unfold. Whatever it is you are feeling."
There wasn't much she could say with Portia hovering. "I cannot speak about it now. But I certainly did not swoon because of anything you did." She knew he thought he was rushing her, but she had waited for years for him to notice her as something other than a friend. "Because of Cressida Cowper and her insane claims to be Whistledown."
"It is rather remarkable." Wait, he didn't actually believe that Cressida was Whistledown did he? "All the unkindness she has written about you and me and our families, and then to unmask herself at our engagement party." When he put it that way, it was so like Cressida.
"It is just like Cressida to take that which is not hers." After all she had tried a number of times over the years to get Colin's attention, but he had never been fooled. The closest Cressida had come was last season and even then Colin had only danced with her to prove that cousin Jack was a fraud.
"Do you think it is really her?" Thank goodness there was some doubt. "I always imagined Lady Whistledown might be more … clever, perhaps." She couldn't resist smiling at that. "I shall let you rest. But before I go, I have something for you." He pulled out a ring box. "The jeweller has just finished setting it." He opened the box to show her the engagement ring.
"Oh… oh Colin, it is beautiful." She couldn't believe it was really for her. Their engagement had happened so quickly that she hadn't even considered what her ring would look like.
"And yet, still only half as beautiful as you." He slipped the ring onto her finger and noticed the ink on her fingers. Why hadn't she taken a moment to wash her hands? "What is all this ink? Have you been writing?"
"Yes. Um… letters." After all she had written to him often enough. It was a perfectly acceptable excuse. "To, uh… to share our happy news."
"Of course. I shall leave you to it." She would need to start writing those letters so she would not be telling him another lie. "Good day, Miss Featherington. For now." He kissed her hand and left.
Returning to her room she felt some of the thrill leave her. She was even more conflicted than ever. In the end, an unexpected visit from Eloise solved the problem over what to do about Whistledown. She would allow Cressida to claim to be Whistledown and she would become Mrs Colin Bridgerton.
Being engaged was an experience she wished she had been through sooner. Even attending church was more enjoyable. She just wished she had been seated beside Colin instead of on the other side of the church.
After the service she saw Colin lingering behind. "I will join you in a moment." She wanted a moment without her mother hovering. After all, it was a bit late for Portia to start worrying about Penelope's reputation. Her mother nodded leaving her alone with Colin.
"It is good to see you looking well." Her fainting spell had obviously scared Colin and she wasn't used to someone putting her health and welfare first.
"I am feeling much better." There was no need to worry him further by telling him she had an panic attack.
"And soon, we shall officially be married." She still couldn't believe this wasn't all a dream. "If you will still have me?"
"Colin, in what world would I not?" Did he not realised that he was her fairytale ending?
"I know there is something you have been meaning to tell me." Since she would no longer be publishing as Whistledown, there was no point telling him about being Whistledown.
"In fact there is something I've been meaning to tell you for a very long time. That I have loved you since the moment we met. An embarrassingly long time really." How could he not know this? She had come so close to telling him that first season. She had never been particularly good at hiding her feelings for him. "Even the years I pretended to be your friend, I was, but I loved you in secret. I have always loved you Colin."
"I will spend a lifetime begging your forgiveness for not seeing you sooner." She didn't blame him for that. Her own family didn't notice her. At least he had seen her as a friend.
"There is no need. There is nothing in the world that makes me happier than being with you." She was surprised when he took her hand and pulled her into his arms in the middle of the church. "Colin, what are you doing?"
"Dancing, with my future wife in the church where we will be married." She giggled as he twirled her.
"Were you ever punished as a child?" Clearly not. She could happily live in this moment in time. When they finally walked out of the church together, Lady Violet hugged her without a second thought or hidden agenda. This is what she had always loved about this family, they had always made her feel part of it.
She would have married Colin no matter who his family was because she loved him. But his having a wonderful supportive family was just a magnificent bonus. One that she would never stop being grateful for.