Hello again, friends!
I do not do angst; I am very scared of the subject of romantic dismay because she' d, but I have to start somewhere, so have some syrup, we're doing some pining. Hopefully it doesn't suck too bad.
It was an oppressive summer day when April decided to treat her two favorite above ground friends to a night out. Work had been grueling and restless for all of them, tourism bringing both more traffic and some of the more colorful people society had to offer, but that had also brought a good profit and damn it, if she couldn't enjoy it what was the point?
Clubbing had not been a high priority on her to do list in a long time, but fate was on her side; Casey and Dana both had the same night off that week and her tiny glitter mini dress from college still fit.
"What was the theme of this show again?" Casey was pleasantly buzzed, a little deafened by the music and girlfriend pressed close to his front, when Dana shouted the question to him, dancing less like a student of the craft and more like a blow up tube man.
"Don't know, we just bought tickets because it said 19 plus; I'm liking it though." A pleased hum was the only acknowledgment from his side and shortly after the warm body pressed in front of him wiggled loose, turning back and miming a shot. He pressed a kiss to April's temple.
"Sure, what'cha want?" And like a fly in the house, a blonde head squished in impossibly close.
"Can you order me a shot? I promise just like one and I'll be so inconspicuous and cool about it, pleasepleaseplease -"
"Are you insane? We could get kicked out, fuck I could get in serious trouble; we let you pre-game at the apartment." The youngest party member rolled her eyes with a huff.
"Yeah and then we had the cab ride and we've been here for a while, and you did and still get to drink! I'm practically sobered up! I promise it'll be the quickest, slickest little thing."
And somehow, those big sad eyes managed to get a secret shot out of each of her chaperones, with a happy chirp of "thanks mom, thanks dad." After each burn down her esophagus, a pinky promise that she owed them facilitating a full date night uninterrupted by any visitors, human or otherwise, which was becoming a surprisingly difficult occurrence.
Raphael was in for the night; no action on the monitors or calls from PD left the turtles a quiet night and April's plan left them with no topside friends to bother; which was a silently appreciated rarity. Choosing his own path for the night had led him to a satisfying workout and a chance to pick up his latest unfinished knitting project. He hadn't expected a text sound to bring him out of his focus; he certainly hadn't expected it to be from Dana. And to top it all off, he definitely hadn't expected it to be a selfie of said girl, phone angled to catch the full outfit and starry eyed while she smiled, bottom lip tucked under her teeth. It took him a long moment to soak it all in; that cursed silvery halter top that he remembered from that near heart attack last winter, black nail polish chipped on the one hand in view idly pulling a strand of hair and the tiniest little black shorts, looking about as tight as skin and with a cut out that made it very clear she couldn't wear panties with them. His mouth went dry before he continued down where she proceeded to text him.
Princess: lol felt cute, wanted to share
Princess: Raph?
Princess: Raphie it's customary to compliment a girl when she sends you a fit check.
He scrambled to text back, body catching up with brain.
Big Red: Yes you look very cute, princess. Having fun?
He watched the type bubble pop up, disappear, quickly pop up again, and then she had the stupid idea to try and FaceTime him in a public location. And like a lovesick idiot he turned his lights down to hide himself from view and accepted.
"Everything okay, tiger?" He raised a brow ridge when she was very casually resting her head on her hand, seated on what looked to be a large stretch of bathroom sinks. She hummed in affirmation.
"I'm having fun, a little teeny tiny bit drunk, which is nice… I just missed you." Her sentence pittered off to a mutter, but he caught it; very thankful for the darkness that blocked most of his face from view as he felt the warmth rush to his face.
"Awwh, nothing's quite as fun without me, yeah? I get it, I'm a fun guy." And if his smile could get any bigger it would have at the undignified snort that escaped his friend.
"Yeah, the life of the party, Big Red." They drifted in comfortable silence for a moment, Dana tucking her phone against her chest when two girls came in to use the bathroom. The view re-emerged, now with her standing against the backdrop of a deep maroon wall.
"You see this? They've got a little powder room with velvet walls; who thinks of this shit I love it!" He smirked at her excitement, huffing out a gentle breath to catch her attention.
"Why don't you hang up and go back out; no fun in here when you can go back out and dance." She pulled her cheek between her back molars, avoiding looking back into the camera.
"I mean, it's okay. Had some guys ask me to dance, but I would've had more fun dancing with you." The red terrapin struggled not to cough in his surprise. She would rather dance with him? He couldn't stop the invasion of visuals; her back pressed firmly against his lower plastron, ass grinding back on the apex of his thighs, bending just slightly to press further back into him, allowing him to firmly grip her thighs, he'd hope for bruises to appear, give her a reminder of the tension between them when she got up the next morning, letting her ride his thigh with just those tiny little shorts between his skin and her intimate flesh.
Raphael could feel himself pressing at the edge of his sheath and knew he'd backed himself into a corner. A stupid, very hot corner, and he had to end the call as gently and quickly as possible to avoid any awkward encounters to the showers. April was his begrudged saving grace.
"Hey, ding dong, cab is on the way if you want one more dance get out here." The shout was muffled through the door to the powder room. With a muttered curse, that kicked the blonde into gear, quickly moving through the seemingly endless public bathroom to give herself a check over.
"Hey uh, sorry for being weird I have to go or they might actually leave me here bye." And the disconnect sound beeped accusingly at him.
So his silence had not gone unnoticed. He wanted to kick himself for not only the inappropriate run of thoughts, but for letting Dana stew in the thought that she'd made things weird with them. She just meant dancing with her friend, so why did his dick have to do all the thinking? There was no ignoring it now, so the large terrapin quickly made his way to the bathroom, hopping in a very cold shower and still needing to give himself some relief.
When he crept back into his room unnoticed, he saw a handful of notifications, unsurprisingly and endearingly finding Dana's update texts as they left the club, were in the cab and then safely deposited at the apartment. Last was a photo, in the familiar bathroom of April's apartment, changed into her favorite ratty tshirt, hair up and face cleaned. A sleepy smile stared back at him while the hand unoccupied by her phone was face up, 3 fingers down and her thumb and pointer crossed. Finger heart. She taught him that silly little trick last week, and he thought nothing about a simple little hand gesture. But, that little extra piece with her goodnight texts left his chest aching.
Princess: If I didn't have an early class I'd ask you to come get me, your bed is comfier :(
Princess: But sweet dreams, Raphie.
This girl was going to be the death of him. He'd already resigned himself to the reality that he'd become too enamored with Dana; he knew he'd let himself become too soft, too willing, too desperate. He would always have to live with knowing she would never reciprocate his feelings, he wasn't normal, wasn't human, and he was fine with that. He had a best friend who wanted to spend time with him. He'd tried desperately, when he first admitted to himself he was developing feelings that would only hurt him, to build up that tough exterior he'd perfected for so long. He could ice out April, ice out his brothers when he needed to, but he'd crumple like a wet towel with this woman every time. She never took no for an answer, never allowed him to stew in his own turmoil without poking holes in the barrier like a fucking woodpecker, and he fell for it every goddamn time. He frowned; did she like playing with him? Making him feel so important, so cared for it was almost as if she actually cared.
That wasn't a fair judgement. She did care, just not in the way that crept into his dreams and kept him up at night with an almost physical pain in his heart when he'd wake up to the emptiness of his bed. And then she'd rip the wound back open, leaving it to bleed freshly after she'd stay over, or the way she always sought him out for comfort when the world around felt like it was trying to drown her. But Raphael was a sucker; he couldn't deny the warmth of their touches and private moments. He loved feeling those fibers of connection wrap tighter and tighter around his soul, even if it would one day rip him in two.
She was going to kill him some day, and the opportunity to bask in her was entirely worth it.