Note: despite first appearances, this one is all fluff.

Story

As Hermes zipped happily along, a bagful of souls stashed at his side and a song playing joyfully through his head, he found himself floundering at the entrance to the Underworld. That was probably at least in part due to the state of his left ankle wings and the ankle itself. The wings were not broken, no, he knew what that felt like and this was not the same at all, but… well they were missing a few feathers, and had a few more that were bent or otherwise out of place and this made using them to fly just a bit troublesome. It didn't really stop him from flying; his wings were more an outward representation of his ability, used to channel his divine power rather than being physically capable of granting flight. But if the wings he was channeling through were messed up, well, it threw him off balance, the equivalent of limping but in the air. Lose any more wings and he might not be able to channel flight at all. And the ankle itself… he didn't think it was broken, just a bit… twisted… maybe something torn. The boots had protected him there where they couldn't protect the wings. It would be fine; gods tend to heal quickly from simple wounds and this was surly simple. No need to show Apollo. No need to show anyone.

Which was the main reason he floundered. If he followed this journey to its end, he would soon be approaching his annoyingly observant professional associate. The thing was, Hermes wanted to see Charon. It was one of the highlights of his day. Hermes loved interacting with anyone who was willing to take the time to allow it, especially with those he was close to. He especially wanted to right now, because he had something wonderful and exciting to share and no one at hand to share it with.

Except, if he showed up looking as he did, his dear professional associate was more likely to obsess over his wings or his ankle or, possibly, the scrapes at his knees and elbows, or the way he'd managed to tear his chiton, or how his scarf was a bit muddy and covered in leaves, or… well the point was, Charon would be all concerned and make a big fuss and likely would not listen to Hermes about his wonderful and exciting new friend. So instead of rushing in as he'd first planned, he wobbled himself to a landing just inside the entranceway. His satchel wobbled with him, throwing him further off, and he ended his landing in a series of one-legged hops, his caduceus used more like a crutch than a staff, while he tried to find his balance. It was not, all told, his most graceful of landings. Luckily, there was no one around to see.

Suddenly Hermes found himself feeling self-conscious, something he had never really felt when approaching Charon before. Well, maybe the very, very first time, but never since then. Hermes looked down at himself, wings flattened to his head, the good wings at his right ankle flapping in over-time to compensate for the not so good wings on the left. How was he to enterwithoutCharon noticing at once that Hermes had had a bit of a misadventure somewhere along the way? The simplest was just to go fast, drop off his souls, and dart away before Charon had time to either notice or, if he did, to do anything about it. If Hermes were extremely lucky, and he was because luck was one of his domains, Charon wouldn't even be waiting at the dock and he could avoid him completely.

But that wasn't what Hermes wanted. He wanted to see Charon. He wanted to be heard by Charon. He wanted to share his story, both the misadventure and the wonderful new friend he had made. The very first thing he had thought after he'd made his friend was 'I can't wait to tell Charon'. And now he had the chance, but…

Perhaps if he cleaned himself up a bit first?

There was a pool of water nearby. Hermes had flown over it on the way; it was in a little grove where it bubbled up from an underground spring, pure and clear. His new friend might appreciate it, too. And he could wash off the mud and the ichor, maybe make an attempt at grooming his injured wing. And… then what? Magically force his body to heal from the rather obvious scrapes? Sew up the tear in his chiton? Regrow feathers?

He could go home first, maybe even find Apollo. Change clothes, get properly cleaned up, give his poor scarf a proper cleaning. Except he was here now. And Apollo would scold him and lecture and he'd be so fussy over helping him that he wouldn'tlisten. Hermes just…wanted right at that moment for someone to listen and rejoice with him at his find.

He wanted Charon.

And he didn't want to bathe in the pool. Or back at Olympus. He wanted to bathe in Charon's bath where he could soak in hot water or splash in cool, where he could be assured privacy from prying eyes, where he could fully relax and really get clean. He never felt truly clean when bathing out in the world, no matter how pure the water.

He wanted to talk to Charon. And if Charon had anything to say, he wanted to listen. Maybe even if it was a lecture on how Hermes should be more careful and take more care.

So in the end, Hermes continued his way down, slower than he usually went but steadily, until the dock was in sight. Charon was waiting. Hermes made an effort to fly normally, knowing there was no way Charon wouldn't notice but hoping he could delay things if he at least appeared unaffected by things. Maybe if he talked fast enough, Charon would let him share the story he was bursting to tell before he went all mother hen and fussed over him. Maybe.

"Hey, Boss!" Hermes called in greeting, went in for a careful landing, overcompensated, and failed more miserably than he had at the entrance. He tried to land on both feet without actually putting weight on the left, using his caduceus as a secret crutch. only the unevenness of the ground had his left foot making contact with the ground before anything else. His ankle failed to support him when he automatically tried to use it, the pain distracting him enough that he tripped instead of returning to flight, his staff actually slipping from his hands, and he fell straight for the river.

He didn't land in the river, of course. Charon caught him.

"Well, hey, thanks for the rescue, Boss, didn't fancy taking a dip in the river Styx and all, I mean, I suppose I could do with a bath when our business is done but that is not the water I intended to clean up in, anyway, I have news, good news, and a story and a half but I suppose first…" Hermes babbled out, trying to cover his own embarrassment and, hopefully, ease the very clear worry in Charon's groan while he waited for the ferryman to set him down so they could get on with the business side of things. Except Charon seemed a bit frozen and was still holding him, awkwardly, in the same position he'd caught him in so he was half draped over one of his arms, his strong hand gripping the back of his chiton. "…first, perhaps, set me down so we can get on with business?"

Very carefully and with surprising delicacy, Charon finally did as asked, setting Hermes on his feet and not letting go completely until it was clear Hermes could manage to maintain his balance. His balance was a bit wobbly still, but steady enough, his own light nature and his wings helping by putting him in a state that was almost flight to stop himself toppling over. Hermes fidgeted, well aware of the scrutiny in Charon's gaze.

"Look, I know I look rough, but I promise it's nothing bad, I mean, I took a bit of a tumble but it was for a good reason and I made a new friend and… Chelly!" Hermes was suddenly overtaken with concern because what if his flailing about had hurt his new friend? He swung his satchel about and dug frantically among the miscellaneous items inside, suddenly terrified his new friend had dropped out into the Styx while he himself had been rescued, or she could have been jostled about and hurt, or…

He found her. She had fully tucked herself into her shell, but when he drew her up she poked her head out and gave him a hopeful sort of look, like maybe some lettuce might be in her near future. He cuddled her, barely noticing the way Charon's hand anchored him at his back, the way purple smoke surrounded them.

He did notice the fond almost smile on Charon's face when Hermes did finally look up from his turtle to present her.

"This is Chellen," Hermes explained, "She was almost eagle food. So, see, I was zipping along, messages to deliver, souls to gather, the usual, and I noticed an eagle and I waved because, well, eagles are cool, when I noticed it was carrying something and I didn't really intend to steal from an eagle, especially his supper, what if he was off to share it with little baby eagles? Only then his supperlookedat me, and she was just the cutest, and eagles belong to old Thunderbolt, but turtles are my domain, so no contest…"

At Charon's resigned groan, Hermes laughed and said, "Oh, no worries, no, I did not fight an eagle for the turtle. He dropped her. I guess to break the shell. All I had to do was catch her. And of course, fast as I am, there was no contest, I swooped in and snatched her from the air, and I swear she looked back at me and smiled and… okay, I may have been the slightest bit distracted, and you can't just stop midair, that would be as bad as hitting the ground, so I was going in at an angle, slowing us and did I mention we were alongside a mountain, I mean, of course we were, natural eagle territory with plenty of cliffs, so, don't give me that look, I didn't crash into the cliff, I am an expert flyer, even distracted, I avoided everything except… I miiiight have not compensated for the length of my scarf trailing behind me.

"So it caught on a bush sticking out from the cliffside and I got yanked up short and almost dropped Chelly, did drop my caduceus, unlucky… and I know I'm the god of luck but if I had to choose of course I'd rather not drop the very turtle I just saved and the staff was fine so… luck. Except the eagle took offence and the caduceus could have come in handy then, could have put it to sleep or turned him to stone, only that'd be rude when he was just doing what eagles do and I was the one who stole his supper. So I had an angry eagle trying to get at my new turtle, and he got a few good scratches in, let me tell you, and it's rather hard to untangle oneself from a bush when one is being attacked by an eagle, and I was scared my scarf might tear even though it shouldn't, too bad my chiton wasn't made the same actually, but it didn't tear, and I did untangle it and then… fell. Just a bit."

Charon's look was one of outright disbelief at this point, and despite still feeling a bit of embarrassment over certain elements of his story, Hermes was actually enjoying himself. Okay, getting tangled and then getting so discombobulated heforgot to flywhen he suddenly came free was embarrassing in the extreme. But Hermes didn't mind laughing at himself from time to time, always ready for fun even at his own expense. And Charon made the perfect listener, his face expressive, at least to Hermes, reacting as the story unfolded. Charon was still clearly concerned over Hermes' state but, and here was how he reacted differently than, say, Apollo would have; he was amused too. And completely enthralled in the tale.

"I only fell maybe ten feet before I got myself sorted and all would have been well only the eagle screeched after me and I knew without looking it was diving and nothing is faster than me but it had a head start on the speed and was not too far behind to start so I dove myself, heading for a copse of trees where I knew I'd lose him only just before I reached it I felt his talons at my ankle… oh, don't worry, it just got a feather or two… didn't even draw blood and then the trees made him back off or maybe he knocked himself silly, didn't fully see, but anyway it was enough to knock me off my course and me and my new friend here met the ground rather harder than intended. Luckily, and of course luck was with me, we landed in a spring. Well, barely a spring, more like a mudhole. And at the end of it all, I have a new friend, and she agreed to stay with me as my little animal companion so as to forever be off the menu. Her name is Chellen, like I said, but I like to call her Chelly."

And Hermes held up the small turtle for Charon to see. She was a little thing, about the size of one of Hermes' hands, green with a shiny shell. She, at least, seemed entirely unharmed by their little misadventure.

With all the solemnity as if Hermes had introduced him to a person of great importance, Charon greeted the turtle, even going so far as to reach out a hand. Chelly responded to this overture by retreating into her shell. Charon actually looked so dismayed at this that Hermes couldn't even laugh over it.

"Now, don't be rude, Chelly," Hermes scolded the turtle instead, "This is Charon. He's nice. Here, Charon, give him this, show him." Hermes fished out some leafy greens that Chelly had clearly already had a go at, the tips being nibbled. Charon accepted the greens, then offered them to the turtle, dangling them over her head. Cautiously, the head re-emerged. For one long moment, the tiny turtle and the large Chthonic being looked at each other. Then the turtle stretched her neck further and clamped down on the greens.

Charon beamed, as much as he ever did, and Hermes shared in that joy, humming happily a simple tune. They stayed like that until Chelly finished her snack.

"Alright," Hermes said then, "I guess its back to work. And back in the satchel with you." He carefully tucked the turtle away before setting about the business of arranging the souls for Charon to ferry.

Charon allowed this with a bit of a sigh, doing his job with expert ease, keeping half an eye for would-be stowaways and half an eye on his associate.

"I canfeelyou worrying, you know," Hermes commented lightly. "And you needn't. And yes, I will go get myself cleaned up once we are done here, and I will wait on you and let you fuss to your heart's content."

Charon let out a sigh that was at least partly relief, as if he had expected Hermes to dart off at the end in spite of his rough appearance, leaving the ferryman to worry over it until the next time he saw him. Hermes never intended to do that to him, though. Well, maybe the thought had crossed his mind, but he really did want to clean himself up and it wasn't like being looked after couldn't be nice, even if it wasn't necessary. So Hermes kept up a light chatter as they worked, sharing the latest gossip, occasionally glancing into his satchel to check on his new friend, until the ferry was fully loaded. Charon started them on their final journey and Hermes, as promised, stayed.