Throughout all this time, we were hit; verbally, emotionally and psychologically manipulated and gaslit, as well as neglected. All of us children, not just myself. I became my brothers' protector; basically a second mother. Rob became the 'father' and we raised the younger boys ourselves.

My father had got into a relationship with a woman named Samantha. I can't remember her maiden name, as she's now married to someone else.

She had two children, Luke and Kelly Sheather. Kelly was the oldest, but 1 year younger than I was. Luke was about 9 months older than Rob. I was the oldest of 7 at that time, as we counted them as our real siblings.

Samantha had a daughter to my father named Teagan Howarth. She was a month younger than Dexter.

Me, Rob, Luke and Kelly would all run around the town, parks, my grandparents property. We avoided our home lives and became as close as anyone really could be.

We would climb down into the drain behind the house and walk from there to the park across the road. The drain was a flood drain, so the sides were as tall as us. We would walk around the town using these drains.

Most of the people in the town knew us because of my father, Howie. I wasn't a good kind of reputation either. He was known as 'Stabby', though only called him by his name. One time, Howie decided to get Facebook and his mate made his password: stabbyton. I don't know if he still has Facebook, and I genuinely don't care.

He took all four of us for a drive one day out in the bush and started doing doughys. It was dusk and he wasn't actually allowed to drive. He stopped when he saw a car coming and thought it was a cop. We went home not long after.

There were multiple times where we all went to the public pool, and multiple times I nearly drowned. A handful of these times were not accidental. One boy, Adam, jumped into the pool, but decided to kick me in the head. The force knocked me under the water and don't really remember what happened afterwards.

We would run around my grandparents dam barefoot, explore the property by ourselves, build lean-to huts and watch the kangaroos that would gather down the front of the property. We would hear the thumping and fights between the males as clear as though they were right in front of us.

My grandfather, Bruce, would shoot rabbits as Rob and Mandy would race to see who could get there first. Mandy always won.

Amanda 'Mandy' Kylie was a woman we grew up with. She was about 10 years older then me and she was a family friend. She was basically like a sister. Her parents, Veronica and Bruce, were friends of my grandparents, and were often around so Bruce ended up being called Grumpy Bruce even though my grandfather Bruce seemed to be grumpier.

Rob and I would fight sometimes, though not as often as normal siblings. I think now that I'm older, that it's trauma bond.

When we did fight, we would have physicial fights. We would hit and kick each other and I did once scratch his face which left a scar. Its been a joke between us for years afterward.

My family were extremely racist and homophobic. My father would us stories about how he would go to Melbourne as a teen and hop on a tram, hang out the window and "punch black cunts in the head" on the way passed them. There were other, much worse, comments that were said, as well as the derogatory names such as "gook", "towel-head", "nigger", etc.

Once when I was older, I was at his house watching a documentary about the Native Americans and how they had their own version of Australia's Stolen Generation. The children kidnapped from their homes and put into institutions to be brainwashed into white society.

The woman who it happened too was talking about the sexual abuse she witnessed as well as experienced.

Howie's comment was: I bet you liked it. (Insert some derogatory comment I can't recall).

I replied with: She was 4 years old.

He looked at me and said: It doesn't matter. She's still black.

I was so furious and disgusted, but since I was so accustomed to being silent, I didn't say anything. I did want to cave his head in, though.

I apologise if people reading this are upset and triggered. I am just trying to explain what it was like and how I felt.

When it can to homophobia, it was almost the same type of comments. Howie being in and out of prison didn't help his attitude and it certainly didn't make me understand why he was saying the things he was.

I always knew I liked women as well as men, and to me it was a normal feeling. I never hid it and I voiced it casually in conversations so many times that I don't think anyone really realized until I specifically said: I am bisexual.

Howie barely acknowledged it until a friend of mine got excited and told me his girlfriend was bi too. Howie came running down the hallway and said: no. Not happening; and that was the end of that.

My mother, Leana, however asked me if I ever kissed a girl. I said no and she replied with: well then you're no bisexual, just bi-curious.

I was 13 years old and had not kissed anyone yet.

Of course, it wasn't just my father making these comments, and as a result I grew up hating white people, because I thought all white people were like this. I didn't make it known about my feelings, and I certainly never judged anyone for their colour. I just hated white people because of the judgements THEY made.

I hated it.

Also growing up, I felt wrong because I was a female. I felt that all females in my family were nothing and we were even told as such by different people, as well as shown this by how we were treated.

I, personally, was never listened too or believed about anything whether it be trauma or just little things. I learned to stop talking and keep my mouth shut. As a result of that, I am still learning how to verbally explain things and learning what emotions are.

I felt like my brothers were treated better in certain situations, and certainly by certain people.

Rob and I had gotten into a fight or disagreement one day while we were at my grandparents house. I can't remember what it was about, all I remember is my grandmother believing Rob and not me. This upset me so much, I put my shoes on and walked into town. The property was 5kms out of town and surrounded by bush. I walked all the way into town, but I had nowhere to go. I didn't even think to go to Howies house, which was across the road from the high school.

I ended up in the back of my grandfathers car, hiding. I don't remember being driven home or anything after. I do know that nobody realized I had left until hours later.

Even at a young age, I wished I was a male. Males, from my point of view at the time, were treated better and not looked at the way I was. In some arguments I got into, I would say: You wouldn't say/do that if I was a boy.

99% of the time, that statement ended arguments. I wasn't even a teenager when I was saying that.

I started high school in Bendigo, and went to Flora Hill Secondary College. There was a primary school right next door that my brothers went to.

The house we lived in was a two-story house that we shared with one of Leanas friends.

The upstairs was where the friend lived with her husband and child, while we had the downstairs. Upstairs was like its own little apartment, so we didn't see or bother each other except to do laundry which was an outdoor one.

Downstairs there was: a kitchen, a loungeroom, 3 bedrooms and a bathroom. Leana and Chris had one room, while me, Rob, Seth and Dexter shared the other room. The third room we were apparently not allowed to use.

Across the road was a: public pool, football oval, cycling track and a few other public spaces.

The house was in the middle of town, down the road from the fountain and a shopping complex. Rob and I would walk from the house, down the road to the complex to catch a public bus to school. When Seth started primary school, he would come with us too.

The school I went to was called Flora Hill secondary college. It's since been demolished or changed it's name. I think it's now Bendigo South East, but I'm not sure.

Flora Hill primary was next door.

I liked Flora Hill and even though I was a loner, I managed to make friends and the students didn't bully me. I don't think I even witnessed bullying while I was at that school, though there was fights.

Two classrooms were separate from the rest of the Year 7 rooms; G and H. There was a joke the teachers told us, that we were a hotel with a golf course next to it. Since we were away from the other Year 7s, our two classrooms usually got along and most of us were friends.

I don't remember a lot of names, and I doubt any of these people remember me in return.

I remember liking LOTE. We learnt Indonesian and I was somewhat good at it. The teacher told me he wanted to tutor me, but Leana told me no because she said he was a creep. I don't know if he actually was, but that's what she said.

We had textiles class, as well as normal other classes. I remember PE classes and our Sex Ed classes. I think that's because those were actually fun for us.

The class I was in were all very friendly, though we had different friend groups and we had our disagreements.

I remember in PE one day, we were split into teams to play hockey. Since there were an uneven number of students, there always 2 or 3 or us left over when teams were playing, so the rest of us would practice while the game was going.

One boy, i can't remember his name, but I remember it started with S, decided to help me practice and he was genuinely impressed with how I did. He supported and encouraged me to be the goalie in the next game. I can't remember how it turned out, but I doubt we won.

I never had much confidence or self esteem, but the students here never made me feel as horrible as I had previously. In fact, being at that school gave me more confidence to start trying to be myself. I even wanted to try and be a part of a sport, which I never even considered before.

The school had decided to start a soccer team, and multiple people had encouraged me to try out for it.

A few other memories I have is going to a female friends house. I think I stayed the night there but I cant remember.

All I remember was her dad asking me if I wanted a spoon because I was scooping the spaghetti up. It didn't make me laugh like most kids would've done; I felt like I was doing something wrong or that something was wrong with me.

I was only at this school for about 2 or 3 months before we moved again. This was the only school I was actually upset about it leaving.

It was the only school I actually felt sad and depressed about leaving.