Jesse Clark was born in Bendigo in 2006. Leana didn't tell us kids she was pregnant, but I had a strong feeling. Especially after one morning she came out into the lounge room and her stomach seemed a lot rounder. My instant thought was: She's pregnant again.

I never asked her, because I was too afraid to say anything.

After he was born, she would tell me was in labour for 3 days and demanded to stay at the hospital even they wouldn't let her. She also told me that the nurse named Jesse because she couldn't think of a name. Now that I think about it, none of us were named by her.

Leana gave Jesse up for, I think she said 5 days, and then decided she couldn't do that. Considering what position we were in at the time, I don't think any us blamed her for that, however she only told us about it afterward. If she went through with actually giving him up, I doubt we would even know we had a younger brother.

After she brought Jesse home, she apologized for him not being a girl. I was glad he wasn't a girl, because I wouldn't have been able to handle watching her go through the same if not worse stuff I went through.

I never actually said that out loud though.

The second time we moved to Hamilton was before I turned 13, so I was still in year 7.

By this time, I didn't want friends or be around people, but I also wasn't keen on being at home either. I had also started to think that because of everything that had happened, and all the mental and psychological stuff that I had gone through, that there was something wrong with me.

All the questions were always in my head: Why me? What did I do? Why doesn't anyone care?

I felt like nobody really cared about my feelings or my well being or what I wanted; so I stopped caring.

The first house we were in was on the way out of town. It was up a hill called Digby Road. It was a 3 bedroom house with a paddock out the back. About 1 acre I think. Leana & Chris' bedroom was next to the front door, the boys room

We had sheep, the 2 dogs and a cat. Tekken and Tiffy we still had, but Tiffy would always have to be chained or inside because if she got outside, she'd run and not come back. Chester was always a grumpy cat and would attack the dogs if they got too close to him. Both dogs were afraid of him.

I don't really remember moving in or the first few months in the house. I remember starting school. I went to Baimbridge Secondary College.

I refused to interact with kids at school. I was into reading and had been since I started visiting the school library back in Grovedale.

I picked a spot well away from people and just would read books. I didn't care if people bullied me because I didn't care for their opinion.

One day, a group of kids came up to me and tried talking to me. I can't remember how I initially reacted, but as soon as one girl started asking about the book I was reading, we started really talking and became best friends after a while.

All I remember about that time period of them coming to sit with me at lunchtimes was someone trying to bully one of them and I basically told these bullies to grow up and go away because nobody cares about their shit.

I was very iffy with being friends with people. I didn't trust anyone and I always felt uncomfortable and anxious.

I only really remember bits and pieces of year 7 after I started that school. I guess maybe I was depressed after leaving a school I actually liked, I don't know.

I don't remember anything else except that I became good friends with Laura Hitchcock.

At home, I don't really remember anything other than being outside all the time. We had a paddock so we would camp in tents a lot. We didn't mind doing that too much. I remember being outside a lot growing up. sometimes, or most times, we were locked outside.

I remember having a sleepover in my room. I had a double bed so four of us could fit in one bed. Me, Laura, Rob and his best friend at the time, Christian.

Doing this kind of thing was normal for us at this point.

Year 8 ...That year was hell for me. Not just for school, but for at home as well.

Memories sometimes run together and sometimes make it seem like that year went on for 10 years.

We had started taking the bus by this point and me and Rob had a job doing paper rounds. It was after school, so we would go home, change then ride our bikes into town.

I started when I was 12 and I think Rob started after he started year 7. I don't remember starting at Beatties News Agents, but I don't remember ever having a problem with them either.

There were quite a few of us, though I can't actually remember exactly who worked there. Me, Rob and a kid called Dylan Bailey. He liked to act to act like an idiot but he was a relatively nice kid. I think Laura had a paper round as well, though.

I remember that once we finished up our rounds, there was a park next to the outdoor pool that we used to all meet up for a little bit before dark. To start with, it was only where me and Rob met up to go home, but it progressed to others meeting up there too.

At home, I tried to stay in my room as much as possible and at school I was bullied by teachers as well as students.

This year of my life is actually very long and hard to write. I'll make it a chapter on its own just so I can write it out all in one go.