I told Leana. I did have to talk myself into it, but in the end it was more of an impulse move.
I told her what Will had said about CPS, not the other stuff.

The anxiety was high while I waited for her to reply, which felt like ages. She ended up telling me to call him from the house phone to break up with him, and I can't really remember much after that. I remember his mum calling and talking to me, but I don't remember what was said or what happened after.

I was still very angry and anxious all the time. I can't remember anything after that at school or at home. It's all just a blank until one day something happened with Jesse and I just lost it, screaming at him. I don't really remember too much about it like why I started screaming at him. I vaguely remember I was in a towel and got out of the shower, sitting on the couch.

Leana said: do you want to go stay with your grandparents?

Before that, Leana had decided that she wasn't going to let me do my paper round one particular day. I can't remember the reason behind it, but I'm assuming it was to do with Will.

This particular day, the paper truck was going to be late, so me and Leana walked down the little alleyway to the library to wait. We had Jesse with us, so we were in the little kids section.

I remember Will walking in with his friend and spotting me. I remember he must've saw Leana and turned around to walk down the other side of the library. The next memory I have is he tried talking to me but Leana wouldn't let him, so I had to just sit there and try not to have a panic attack in public.

Through all this, Jesse was still in nappies and needed a change, but since we didn't know the truck was going to be late, Leana didn't bring a nappy bag. She didn't want to leave me at the library to wait for the truck either.

All I remember after that is a conversation about how frustrated she was about having to leave Jesse in the nappy. I felt like it was my fault and that I was being blamed, though I can't remember if I was actually being yelled at or not.

I can't remember the trip up to St. Arnaud. It's about 2 and a half hours from Hamilton, give or take. I'm sure it was at the end of 2008, year 9, or during the Christmas holidays that I went up there.

I can't remember starting at St Arnaud Secondary College, but it didn't worry me a whole lot. I was already used to starting schools, but I also knew about half the students already because we all grew up together.

I did at this school, what I did at all the others and would just sit at read somewhere hardly anyone ever went.

Rob decided that he was going to come up a little while later. I'm not sure how long after though. I remember feeling annoyed because I needed to get away for a bit, but at the same time I felt bad for feeling annoyed.

The house was only, technically, 2 bedrooms, but Nana made the study into a bedroom for Rob. I remember that room constantly being changed and shifted around. At one point, Nana emptied the laundry to make that into a bedroom instead. And yes; it did surprisingly work. My room was the 2nd bedroom which was basically the same size as the laundry anyway, minus the trough.

One night, Nana and Rob got into a big yelling match. The study was now just that, and it had a computer in it. I was on there playing solitaire while they were in the kitchen and Rob's bedroom. It was in the laundry at that point, which was next to the kitchen.

Nana came to try and get me to stick up for her, but I didn't want a bar of what was happening. I had gone there to get away from everything, including the constant yelling. I remember Nana saying to Rob that she was going to tell Poppa when he got home.

I don't know where he was at the time. When Poppa came home, he kicked Rob out. He refused to call Leana to come get him though, for whatever reason, and made him move in with Howie.

Before that, all I really remember is getting on the bus to get to school and doing jogs in the early mornings up the driveway and back.

The night that Poppa drove us to drop Rob off, it was decided that we'd only be dropped off halfway. The house was 5kms out of town and when we were going to be dropped off halfway to town. I had decided to go with Rob because I didn't want them killing each other. Literally.

So, it wasn't exactly halfway. It was a bush road we were dropped off on the way into town. I remember getting out of the car, Poppa and Howie, I called him Dadda for a very long time, had a conversation, then we walked to Howies house but I can't remember the walk. All I remember is that it was night time.

I have a fair few memories of going to school here and living with Howie, but they're all muddled. I remember going to Northern Territory for a year 9/10 camp, but I don't remember before we left. I don't think I was living with Howie yet at that point.

I remember being a menace on the bus with my friend Brittany Matthews. I can't really remember everything we did, I just remember annoying people. I also remember when bluetoothing pictures, memes and photos to each other was a thing. No idea if you can do it anymore, but I remember a kid saying about turning all bluetooth passwords off so we could send each other random stuff so I changed my bluetooth name, I can't remember what to, though I think it might have been 'Random', and sent everyone all the memes I had on my phone. We laughed while they tried to figure out who is was.

I remember stopping in the middle of a desert area at a truck stop. I remember seeing a truck with a custom paint job of Captain Jack Sparrow on it. I remember seeing the ghost gums for the first time. That was all on the bus ride up there.

I remember getting to Alice Springs and seeing an Aboriginal lady in the bush area on the side of the road just go to the toilet against a tree in front of the road. I remember going to the shopping centre, though I don't remember what we did there.

I remember staying in the caravan park and some wildlife people brought some snakes and lizards for us to hold. The big python was going across our shoulders and I leaned forward. The guy told me not to be scared and I said I wasn't, I'm more worried about her falling off.

I was just on the phone to Brittany Matthews for 2 and a half hours, and the stuff we got up to as kids is crazy. She remembers a lot more than I do. She even reminded me of the selfies we took in bedroom and when Laura came up for the holidays. I completely forgot that all 3 of us hung out. Apparently we nearly got into a fight with a group of kids in the middle of the street once. Hopefully more of those memories come back.

I remember going to the Tafe in Charlton. I liked that and had fun going. I did an agricultural course and grew mostly silverbeets and beetroot. They grew huge. I'd make them into salads with vinegar.

One time, there was apparently a party and a group of us were supposed to go, but once I found out whose house it was at I refused to go. Howie even threatened to lock me out of his house if I didn't go, but I managed to get back inside.

Rob ended up going and when he came home the next day, he was covered in permanent marker. A girl who was basically stalking him at that point and her friend, "claimed" him. I looked straight at Howie and said: and you wanted ME to go?

After that is kind of a blur except for a few boring snippets of memory. Well, normal for me anyway.

I do remember I was talking to a guy from Melton. He said his name was Mark and he was 20. He would text and call me, though I can't remember how he got my number in the first place. Howie found out I was talking to him after he called me once and Howie yelled at him down the phone even though it was in my face. That's pretty much the only decent thing he did for me because contact stopped with that guy.

One day, I either stayed home or went home for lunch (since Howie lived literally right across the road from the school), and Howie said he was going somewhere. I assumed he was going down the street.

I found out later that he went across the road and tried to pull Rob over the school fence to beat him up. And no. Howie was not charged with that. At all.

At this point, I think we had been in St. Arnaud for at least 6 months, but I can't remember.

Somehow, Leana found out that we were at Howies and she came to get us. I begged her to come inside for 5 minutes because I'd never seen them both if the same room before. She did, but now that I'm older I feel bad because he was abusive when they were together and I didn't understand at the time how it would feel.

When I was back in Hamilton, nothing really changed too much that I remember, except I wasn't allowed to go back to school. Leana claimed it was because William was still there, but after a while it was clear that she just wanted to use me as a babysitter and a house cleaner. She got a job across the road at the motel, but I wasn't to go to school so she could work. Eventually, I researched some other education and ended up at SGAE (Southern Grampians Adult Education) which is exactly as it sounds.

SGAE was around 3 days a week and the other 2 days were at the TAFE on the other side of town. I had to walk 3kms from my house to town where SGAE used to be. SGAE has moved locations since. On the Tafe days, I'd have to walk from home to SGAE, then another 3kms to Tafe. If I was allowed to go to school. Most times Leana would work from 8am until 1130am, and by then it would have been pointless for me to bother going, but more often than not I would go anyway. At least, I remember walking into town.

I got a job during one of the holidays at a plant nursery. I enjoyed that job, but I don't think I was there for long.

Chris worked in Penshurst at a place called Thorntons. He worked with a guy who was 18 or 19 at the time. I can't remember the guys name now, but him and Chris were friends. Leana said that they were even trying to get me and this guy together. I was still 15 at this point. The guy would come over, he was in my room with me though I can only remember the once. He made a (full body) gesture about us having sex. I'm pretty sure stuff happened but it never went as far as sex. I remember going with him to his parents house; his parents weren't home but he had to get something. He pushed me on the bed, kissed me and I don't think there was anything else, before we left. I think he was worried about being caught, which didn't make sense to me at the time. He also took me to one of SGAE's formals we had every year. I can't remember how we stopped talking, but I don't think it was for a bad reason.

We had moved again to the middle of town, across the road from HILAC, a indoor centre.

My bedroom was near the front of the house. I remember staying in there a lot or trying not to be home. I don't really remember a whole lot of that house.

I do remember my sister's mother coming over at least once, and me, Teagan and Kelly all went for a walk down the street and back. I enjoyed that time but I don't really know why it didn't happen more often. I'm guessing because of fuel for travel.

Another memory I have is being home alone (which was normal for us) with Rob and some of his mates. I can't remember how it ended up in my room, but they all decided to tie me to my bed. They didn't do anything, but they all left except one of Robs mates who let me up.

Leana had a friend named Skye. I think I was at this house when I went to babysit for her once. I remember watching a movie, checking on the kids and her boyfriend I think he was at the time, driving me home. It was a half hour drive I think. From Dunkeld to Hamilton. I ended up developing a tiny "crush" on Skye; sorry Skye, that's probably a little bit weird X-D

I remember she came to the house at least once I remember, and I remember talking to her out the back. Just random stuff I think and my brothers were there too.

I got a job at KFC, and by that time, I wanted to work but at the same time I didn't want to be around people. I was anxious all the time. They got me to work out the back, which was fine with me. Eventually they got me to go on the drive through, but it took me a while to understand the abbreviations on the computer. One time they forced me to out the front desk. I didn't want too, but they made me. Within 5 seconds of me getting out there, the first guy I "served" stormed inside and started yelling in my face about how I messed up his order. I got the manager and then told them after that I'm not doing front again. I raised my voice to the assistant manager once too, when I still wasn't confident with the computer abbreviations. They weren't listening so I had to yell for them to answer me. After that, she tried telling me its more important to get the order out quickly so I asked every single person that came through if they'd rather it be quick or accurate and every single person said they'd rather wait. One dude even said he'd rather wait 5 minutes than have to come back in. I did that to prove a point to them.

I asked them what they did with the food at closing and they said they just throw it out. I asked if I could just take it all home to feed my family; they were reluctant at first but then just let me take some food, since they were just going to bin it all anyway. This happened whenever I was on closing. I used to work a fair bit, and did work right up until we moved again.

I turned 16 at this house, and all I remember about that is Leana and Chris bought me a car. One that I never drove because I got my Ls (learners) but Leana only ever once (that I remember) was the passenger and she is a control freak so yelled every time I put my foot down. Chris drove my car more than I did.

I would also go hang out with my friend Helen, who lived 2 blocks behind us. Her and her sister Nicole were my friends for a while. We would hang out and once me and Helen even went to explore an old closed down school.

This time we moved out of town towards Hawksdale. We moved into a house on a beef farm. Since I was a casual at KFC, I told them about the move and possibly not being able to work as much because it was half an hour out of town and Leana definitely would not drive me everyday, they just stopped calling me. As a casual, they don't need to fire me, just "stop needing me to work".

The farmhouse was 34kms out of town and the only neighbours we had were at least 1km down the road. By this time, Rob was now going to SGAE as well, though I can't actually remember when he started there. It was the second year that I was there though, as SGAE had classes separated by when you joined, not by age, if I was still in my first year there, we would have been in the same class.

We would take the bus to our old school and walk from there into town. The bus stop was on Mt Napier Rd, which is the highway. I just googled how long it would take to walk the 7kms from the house to the bus stop and it said an hour and a half. Seems about right.

Me and Rob had to walk or ride our bikes to the bus stop, though this was after we were used to the route there. The younger boys went to a P-12 school in Hawksdale so their bus stop was the opposite direction, and they were only driven everyday (I believe) because me and Rob weren't able to walk them there.

The house we were in was a 4 bedroom house, but I still didn't get my own room. Logically, I probably should have because I was the only female, but I shared with Dexter while Rob and Seth shared a room. Jesse had his own room. Our 3 rooms were down the back of the house while Leana and Chris' room was up near the kitchen.

It was a big house, even if it wasn't open space, except the kitchen and loungeroom.

So much stuff happened at this house and not mostly bad, for once in my life. I think Rob had a different opinion about that though.

We went back to having parties a lot, and we had a decent sized loungeroom, and we could camp outside again. Leana was happy enough to taxi our friends (at times) half an hour to and from our house. I personally wouldn't ask her to be the taxi, but I'd still hear about it at times.

I would cook and clean for the 7 people that lived in the house. The boys would help, but a lot of times I don't remember too much help. I remember Leana being on her phone or laptop all the time. When we wanted to talk to her, we had to call her "Sheppy" before she ever even responded.

At one point, the boys would look at me and Rob as the parent figures and called me mum sometimes. Even got to the point where I would say to them if they didn't behave, I'd "tell Rob when he gets home". Chris worked on the farm, so he was gone during the day. Leana was at home mostly, as far as I know and remember.

We all had to learn to raise ourselves and each other.