AN:/ Hello! Thank you so much for your kind words and responses! Reading them has been so lovely. I hope chapter 2 livens up the week a little. I just want to give a quick recap of the Mazur family tree here since ff wont let me post pictures. So Rose (23 in this story. Dimitri is 27.) has two older brothers: Matthew Emir Mazur (29) and Aidan Selim Mazur (25). At some point in her childhood, Abe and Janine separate (for reasons that will be explored) and Abe has a child out of wedlock leading to: Ava Mazur (14) Janine and Abe get back together and they have a final child, Hugo, who is 6 and largely raised by nannies. That's the family! And here is chapter 2:

Chapter 2

R POV

Playlist

My Immortal: Evanescence

So Cold: Ben Cocks

You'll be in my Heart: Phil Collins

Jenny of Oldstones- Florence and the Machine

Train Wreck: James Arthur.

Se enan Toixo - Michalis Hatzigiannis & Midenistis

I love you I'm sorry- Gracie Abrams

Hush Little Baby- Nursery Rhyme

R POV

The Mazur Estate, Present Day

The clink of the decanter breaks the midnight silence as I pour my fathers whiskey into one of the crystal glasses.

The study looked exactly the same as it had the last time I had been here, surprising Mattie for his birthday. Same old library feel. The dark oak shelves ringing around the circular room, covered in tomes, most of them law books. The plush leather black couch I was currently sitting on. The dark wooden desk behind me and the glass coffee table in front of me. All the same, except for one glaring difference.

The Whiskey burns down my throat as I throw the glass back. My head was already foggy and my mouth was dry. The burn wasn't helping any but it kept me focused on something. Something other than the horrifying emptiness that has taken up residence in my stomach.

I keep my eyes on the picture frame in front of me ignoring everything else. The purple candle next to it. The black cloth covering the mounted mirror on the wall across from me. I focus only on what matters. On this one remnant of home in this cold, vacant room.

"I'm mad at you."

Mattie looks back at me smiling from behind the glass and the pain bursts out of me again.

"You should have kept me on the phone." I tell him through my sobs.

"You should have kept walking around the block. You should have realized what they were planning. You've always been ten times smarter than anyone. What changed, huh? What changed and I had to find you like that?"

I shake my head against the visuals. Too pale skin. Burns, bruises, wide unseeing eyes. There goes the first of the Snakes.

Don't think about it.

I wipe at my eyes and took another swig, this time straight from the bottle.

"Already, I have so much to tell you." I cleared my throat and take a sip of my water for his benefit.

"Dimitri punched a hole through the wall." I tell him, laughing slightly.

"At the hospital, when they were telling him someone else was already there to see you and he had no idea what was going on. Just punched it straight through. Left a fist sized crater in the plaster. The nurses were terrified. They're not charging us though. I think they felt sorry for us."

I grab a pillow from the stiff leather couch I'm sitting on and push it between my stomach and my knees, hoping that the pressure will ease the ache. My smile fades as the silence presses in on me. Picture frames don't reply. Tears course silently down my cheeks.

'How am I meant to go on without you?' I say to him from inside my head. 'I can't move on from this. Mattie, I can't.' His half smile sits frozen on his cheeks, those knowing eyes, almost as if he's waiting patiently for me to continue.

I'm sitting here, in this big cold house we grew up in- you made this place home. Did I ever tell you that?

You made it a home.

I close my eyes and the memories come and find me.

"How far is the moon Mattie?"

The run, jump and spin game. From the second step to the bottom, never the third. On the giant, never childproofed marble stairs that bisects the house.

"Catch me Mattie! Catch me!"

Mattie setting down a plate of Eggos covered in maple syrup. There's bobby pins between his teeth and I laugh at the faces he's making as I watch him braid my hair at the kitchen table. Next to me, my mother is injecting Haloperidol.

There's gunshots going off in the abandoned barn next door but I notice none of it because Mattie has snuck me out of the house and we're setting off fireworks.

He's put Tarzan on and we're showing it to the new baby, as my parents scream at each other in the room next door.

I'm sticking my tongue out on stage when I see him grinning in the audience during my third grade play. We're doing the lion king and I had gotten Nala. I was so excited I would recite my lines everyday on the way to school. He's the only one who ever showed.

I'm passing him a wrench as we fix up his beaten up old truck for senior year and we're dancing to Footloose in the family garage as Ava plays with her barbie in the back seat and guns and assault weapons frame the walls around us.

He sticks his tongue out when he's Valedictorian in his highschool graduation. I do the same on my own. Nobody else gets it.

The run, jump and spin game moved from the stairs to Airport arrivals. The clinging to each other came at Departures.

"Catch me Mattie, catch me!"

"Hold on!"

Hold on…

Hold onto what?

I open my eyes. The room is empty.

I let myself fall sideways on the couch, curled up on my side, still staring at the picture. I close my eyes.

There's nothing left for me here.

-BREAK-

Flashback:

"I'm gonna drown."

I cling to him on the side of the pool.

"You're not gonna drown little duck."

"Yes I am. Mattie I am and you're not gonna be able to do anything."

I'm four and he's ten. We're the only ones in the Y right now and it's near closing. I'm wearing my favorite red and white polka dot bathing suit, and I'm terrified.

I've wanted to learn how to swim for so long but Aidan told me Baba drowns people who are naughty. They fill up with water and sink forever and nobody ever sees them again.

I ate all the chocolate last night and Aidan told Baba. I grip Matties neck tighter and shake my head. "I can't do it."

"Why are you so scared?" You nearly threw yourself into the sea last week you wanted to learn so badly."

"Because! Aidan said-"

"Aidan likes bothering you. Don't listen to him."

"But Aidan said-"

"Aidan isn't here. Baba isn't here. I'm here. And I'm not gonna let you drown."

"Why?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Because you're my sister. You're my responsibility."

"Ok." I nod and take a deep breath.

"Also, I call you little duck so you're gonna be a great swimmer."

"But you said you call me little duck because I follow you around everywhere."

"And now because you're gonna be amazing at swimming."

I uncurl one of my arms and stretch it towards the water. I look back at him.

"I'm not gonna drown?"

"You're not gonna drown. I'm right behind you."

But I am drowning. I've been sinking ever since I walked into that hospital and you're not here, to pull me out.

-BREAK-

I'm drifting in and out of consciousness, slipping from dreams to memories all the while feeling the cold leather beneath me. The click of the door jolts me awake and I sit up quickly, running a hand over my face and through my hair. Dimitri walks in, closing the door behind him and I turn away, unsure what to think.

"What time is it?"

"Just past 2:30."

He sets a plate down in front of me

"You need to eat something."

I look down. Grilled cheese, a handful of grapes and a packet of milk duds. The plate could have been lifted straight out of my childhood. My heart clenches.

"I'm not hungry."

He takes a seat on the armchair facing the couch and pours himself a glass of whiskey.

"I know, believe me. But you've barely eaten in the last 48 hours."

"And you have?"

He's staring at the floor determinedly.

"That's what I thought."

His jaw clenches but he doesn't keep at it. I rip the sandwich in two and offer him half.

"No sense in being a hypocrite."

He takes it without much complaint and we eat in silence, chewing and struggling to get the food down. I wash it down with more whiskey which earns me another look but he doesn't say anything. I think he's worried. I never touch the milk duds. His gaze drops down to them several times.

He's the one who breaks the silence.

"Have you spoken to Ava?"

"Yeah." I say, clearing my throat.

"She's catching the red eye tonight and getting here tomorrow morning- well, like 5 hours from now. Some friends of ours are dropping her off at the airport and Pavel and I will pick her up. "

"The Sages?" I look up at him in surprise. He's never met them before.

"I- yeah. She was staying with them while I was away so, going from one familiar environment to another."

He's smiling slightly

"You have it all figured out."

I look down as my eyes burn:

'My sister, my responsibility.'

I hear him get up and sit down next to me.

"Roza-"

"Don't." I glare at the space in front of me and will him to stop talking. It's so quiet I can hear the ticking of the clock.

"He loved you more than anything." Dimitri breathes.

My hand clenches the whiskey glass hard enough the crystal ridges make indents on my skin. He inhales and I press ahead before he can say anything else:

"What did you find out?"

I look up at him, His arm is frozen like he was about to reach for me.

Dammit.

"What did you find out?" I repeat, staring directly into his eyes.

His face is closing off again.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Bullshit." Don't lie to me Belikov.

"I do not know what you mean, Rose." He stands up, towering over me.

"Bull. Shit." I say "Where did you go? When you left the house after the wake ended."

"Rose-"

There's buzzing in my head.

"11 pm. You said you were going for a drive. Where did you go? You really expect me to believe you were just driving around? Dimitri Belikov, master of discipline, protector extraordinaire, went on a pretty aimless drive right after his best friend was fucking MURDERED?"

Sound comes rushing back and I realize I've jumped to my feet. My hands are shaking, fists clenched at my side and he's right there gripping my fists, telling me to calm down. That I'll wake up the rest of the house.

I laugh derisively and plop myself back down.

"Aidan is out. Probably on a murder rampage as we speak. Baba is in his office and mom is either passed out from her new prescriptions or an insomniac because of them. We both know stalling is your specialty. Not mine."

His jaw clenches and he glares at me but I hold my ground.

Enough chit chat. "What did you find out?"

He sighs and pours himself another glass of whiskey as I nurse my own.

"I'll answer your question, if you answer mine."

I wait.

"How did you get here so fast?" he asks softly. "It's been playing around in my head since I saw you at that hospital- and I don't understand it. Were you already in town and we didn't know about it? How did you get here?"

I swallowed and shook my head trying to separate the images fighting to swarm into my mind.

"I was in New York. There's a PR event my firm gets invited to every year and they needed 'eye candy'." I licked my lips and continue, staring at the bottom of my glass.

"The event was Thursday - Friday and then we were meant to catch the red eye back. Ava was staying with the Sages and having a blast so, I wanted to make it a weekend trip. Getting my work to reroute my flight to depart from Boston and just coming over and seeing Mattie and y- everyone here."

I take a deep breath.

"I woke up Friday and…there was just this…sinking feeling in my stomach."

"I called Ava and she was fine. Her and Zoe were having a reading party in her room all day cause this new book came out… I don't know but it's about the safest thing they could be doing so I left her to it."

"I called Mattie next. He was fine too. He was at the main office all day and then he said he was going to some meeting, check out the inventory at one of the warehouses. He said he was meeting you for drinks later so everyone seemed...fine and yet I couldn't shake it. This…irrational feeling of panic sitting on my chest. This feeling in my gut." I shook my head.

"It lessened as the day went by and by the time evening rolled around I chalked it up to jetlag and just being out of whack. I was going up to my hotel room to change, typing out my request to HR and... he called me."

Tears blur my vision and I hear him sit down beside me. I can't look at him.

"We talked for a little while. It can't have been longer than a few minutes. He was walking to his car I- we weren't really saying anything, just joking around. He was…distracted."

I trail off. The what ifs and whens circle my mind like birds of prey. They dig their talons in like they can sense I'm dying to be able to have changed something, anything:

"You're broodier than usual. Hanging out too much with Dimitri."

He laughed, " Just got a lot on my mind."

"Hmmm. Care to share with the class?"

"I'll tell you when you tell me when you're coming to visit."

"Sooner than you think. How did your meeting go?"

"God what is it with the two of you today?"

"What?"

"Nothing, it was fine. Look, I'm just coming up to my car. I'm meeting Dimitri and some of the other guys for drinks-"

"What do the two of you do on a night out anyway? Drink Stoli on the rocks and sit in complete silence-"

"Aand I'll call you tomorrow morning before you start work if you want to roast me some more. So long as you're not actually teasing about coming to visit."

"Like I saiiid, sooner than you think."

"Well, as long as I pick you up from the airport this time-"

"The signal cut off." I say into the silence. Beside me, he's so still I wonder if he's breathing.

"There was no sound, nothing just- the line just dropped. I waited for him to call me back but he didn't. That earlier feeling was suddenly back, and I didn't think about it anymore, I didn't try to tell myself I was irrational, I just acted."

I take a deep breath. Why was this so much harder now than it was with the police statement?

"There was a guy I met at the club event Thursday night. He closed a deal with my firm this morning. Like I said, PR firms need eye candy. Some real estate mogul up in Long Island looking to expand into California. He kept bragging about how he flew in on his brand new helicopter. State of the art. 'Anywhere you need to go sweetheart, you tell me and I'll make it happen. Anywhere you need to go."

I look up at him, find his eyes trained on my face. I take a sip of Whiskey.

"So I ran up to him. Widened my eyes. Clutched his shirt. Told him something had happened, a family emergency, and that I needed to get to Boston right now. I'm panicked, shaky. I tell him I don't know what's happened yet but this guy's an American Italian, big family man, so he takes me up to the helipad immediately. The flight time from Manhattan to Downtown Boston is 38 minutes … and that's when I get the call. "

My tears find me again.

"We landed five blocks from the hospital. I ran the entire way, lost helicopter guy in the traffic and the chase. Got to the hospital in 10 minutes. They led me to the morgue and- I saw him-"

Deep sobs spill out of me as the pictures I was repressing flash into my mind.

Pale skin, glassy eyes. Head smashed in. Burns, blood.

There goes the first of the snakes.

I cover my hands with my face as I try to block them out.

How is this happening? This can't be happening.

I feel his hand on my shoulder. Hear the tremor in his voice

"Roza? Proslushat lyubimaya. Roza breathe. Please."

"What did you find out?!" I scream into my hands.

He starts talking very quickly.

"Diablos members showed up at the scene after the fact but we cannot discount them as they were among the revelers. So were the Foxes. Dragons were absent but we had threatened them off our territory earlier and the bomb was set off remotely so that doesn't mean much, Look,"

He crouches down so that we're eyelevel and pulls my hands from my face, holding them in his.

"It's ongoing. We're cooperating with the police, but I'm obviously not leaving it up to them. I've contained Aidan for now so he doesn't fuck it up further. Sicked him on some workers I think are doing double business, possible moles. He's interrogating them right now."

He doesn't look too guilty about this and it would have surprised me had I not searched inside of myself for the girl who would have cared once upon a time and come up empty. One of those snakes might have betrayed my brother.

"It might take some time but I promise you justice. I will find out who did this. And they will pay. Severely."

I relish in his words, feel my breathing center because of them when he speaks again.

"After you and Ava go back to California I'll call you with anything I-"

I start laughing and he stops.

"You think…you think I'm going back to California?"

He stares.

"After this? Just go back and carry on like nothing ever happened?"

I drain my glass and stand up, pacing to the back of the room.

"I'm staying here. I'm staying here and I'm helping you avenge him. I'm staying until every. last. person responsible has bled and we've burned their fucking enterprises to the ground."

He's looking up at me shocked.

"You can't mean that."

"I never joke about revenge or murder."

He stands up.

"You're in shock. These past 24 hours have- you're not thinking clearly."

"Miss me with that condescending attitude Belikov all I've been doing is thinking. Sitting and thinking. I know exactly what I'm doing."

"Ava-"

"Ava is my responsibility and I will deal with it. I'll make sure she's safe and ok. You do not get to use her as a trump card to stop me from staying."

He steps towards me, I step to the side. We circle each other, a battle of wills that was lost before it even started.

I have no intention of backing down.

"You never wanted this life." he says softly

"Neither did he." It comes out harshly, the words breaking on my tongue.

He unravels me as fast as I do him sometimes and it unnerves me.

With men, I've always had the upper hand. Even when they think they do.

"He didn't get that choice. You did. And you made it. You chose it ten times over. You picked the right path. You chose to live. Everything you dreamed of having you got. Peace, stability. A life with normal milestones. A house by the beach. A home for Ava. You did it all."

He shakes his head.

"I'm not going to sit by and watch you destroy that."

"I didn't get everything I wanted and you know it." He drops my gaze and I continue.

"Deep down I knew. You always get called back in the end. 'Let them have their fun, the house always wins in the end.' That's what my father would say when some bookie would get too good with his gambling bets. Why should I be any different?"

"Rose-"

"I'm staying Dimitri. I'm staying and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

He glares.

"I'm not taking you with me."

"I'll track your car."

"You haven't received the proper training. You'll be a hindrance. "

"I've received 'the proper training' since I was four." That muscle's jumping in his jaw again and I smirk. I wonder how long he can spend in my presence before he breaks.

"Besides," I purr as we circle again, trailing a hand down the side of my body.

"I've got more than one weapon at my disposal."

He snarls and suddenly he's up against me, staring down at me from that lofty, intimidating height and the rage on his face sends a thrill through me, I bare my teeth and look up at him in return. The fire running through my blood isn't just challenge or rage any more. I let it fill me.

His gaze softens the more he looks. He runs his fingers through a strand of my hair. The fire stutters out.

No

"He would hate this," he murmurs.

I rear back.

"He would hate what you're choosing to do. He wouldn't want this for you."

"HE IS NOT HERE TO TELL ME WHAT HE WANTS."

I pace to the other side of the room, breathing heavily, my nails dig into my hand, grazing against previous indents but I don't care. It spreads out the pain.

"He is not here." I repeat, calmly. "And I would like it if you stopped acting like you're not going to be doing exactly what I want to do. Like he wouldn't have done the same if he found me that way, like you wouldn't have made the same decision if our roles were reversed!"

"I sold my soul to this life for my family, you know that." he acknowledges.

"And I don't regret it but you- are not me. Don't pretend you are. You have the chance for something better. You had the chance for freedom. And now you're throwing it away."

"You sold your soul into something I was already born in." I sigh. "Freedom with fine print. Freedom that ended the minute I walked in and saw Mattie-" I take a deep breath.

"We're done discussing this." I head for the door when the sound of his voice stops me again.

"This isn't the way to move forward. This isn't the way to go on."

I whirl back around.

"You hypocrite." I hiss.

"I don't-"

"There IS no moving on. Not from this!"

" Then go forward in life by honoring Matthew's wishes for you! All he ever wanted. All he ever wanted was for you to be safe and happy. He tried to shield you from this. From all of this."

The silence is violent. He takes a step towards me.

"Do you know what they did to him?"

My voice is quiet. So quiet that I would not have known he heard me had he not stopped in his tracks. The ringing in my ears is back.

"Do you know what they did to my brother? They BLEW UP HIS CAR AND SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD. Multiple times. They didn't stop. The car was destroyed and his head was smashed in. I've seen the news reports. He turned the car on and was blasted to the ground and they were CHEERING"

I turn back around as I hurl the words out.

"Taunting and cheering Dimitri! 'There goes the Prince of the Snakes more to follow, more to follow-"

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'VE DONE?" He roars, and for once I'm taken aback.

Tears blur my vision but I see him stalk towards me, tremors rocking through his body as he shouts.

"YOU THINK I DON'T WANT THEM TO PAY? I DO. AND THEY WILL. I WILL MAKE SURE THAT THEY WILL IF IT'S THE LAST THING-."

He gulps down air and I can see him pulling for that control.

"But I will not lose you to this too. You will have your justice. But not at the cost of your soul."

I face the door again, wiping at my eyes.

I grip the door handle so tightly my palm starts to sting. I need to center myself. I need to go or we'll both snap.

"I don't want justice Dimitri. I want vengeance. Come what may."

He comes up behind me.

"You don't care…what your brother would have wanted?

"You don't care what I want?" I return. He inhales.

" You don't care about me, is that it?"

"Stop it."

"You don't care if I'm far away in California with god knows who, thinking about what happened, drowning in my guilt-"

"Enough."

"You don't care about me, so long as you feel like you're honoring my brother's wish? A wish he's not even here to tell you about."

"I know what you're doing,'' he says tightly. He's breathing heavily. I can feel it against my hair.

I turn to face him. We're so close. I can see every eyelash framing those dark, dark eyes.

Those eyes that blaze for me.

That do more for me than Jessie's kisses ever have.

"You don't care what I need? You don't want to help me?"

"What are you talking about?" he whispers harshly, gripping my waist: "What are you saying?"

"You don't want me here?" I murmur up at him, my breathing as heavy as his.

"Roza…"

"You don't want me, Dimitri?" I whisper against his lips, watching the thoughts scatter in his eyes.

"Bite your tongue." he growls against me and my very soul ignites.

"Bite it for me." I breathe, taking his bottom lip between my teeth.

And then he's kissing me. Wildly, feverishly and I'm moaning into his mouth.

Yes.

He picks me up and walks me back into the room. My back hits the wall as his hand tangles in my hair. My legs wrap around his waist and he grunts, pressing against me. His hand cups my ass and I suck on his tongue. I grip his neck so tightly my nails dig in.

Lightning strikes through me and I feel everything. Everything I hadn't felt in years.

He's leaving burning kisses down my neck but I grab his face and pull him back to my mouth. I needed his lips. His greedy kisses.

We'd been starving for three fucking years.

I'm panting into his mouth as I undo the buttons on his shirt and his hands slide up my skirt when the door swings open.

We scramble apart, and I try to step in front of him. They won't shoot the Yilan's daughter.

"Rose?"

My mother stands in the doorway, peering in.

"What are you doing in here? It's late, you know."

I run my hand through my hair and try to adjust my breathing.

"Hi mama. What are you doing awake?"

My mother stares at us both, eyes slightly foggy. She narrows in on my tousled hair, his rumpled clothing, my swollen lips. Her gaze flares.

"Come meet me downstairs please. Alone." She gives Dimitri a look of deep disgust then spins on her heel, leaving the door open.

"Well" I say, clearing my throat. "That could have gone a lot worse."

"Yes." he says slightly breathlessly. "But she's more lucid than she appears."

"She won't tell."

I straighten my skirt and check myself over. Black skirt, black sweater, black tights, red bra-ah. I straighten out my sweater as he does up the buttons of his shirt. Neither of us had changed after the wake.

I glance up at him. His face is flushed and he's staring at the floor. I shift, look around the room. The clock on the wall reads 3:31.

"Well I should-'

"Of course. Also, I meant to tell you, I could pick Ava up from the airport for you if it makes things easier."

"No no I'll go. It should be me. Gives me something to do."

"Right. Something."

"Yeah." I walk towards the door for what feels like the eleventh time tonight. I'd rather the uncomfortable chat with my mother than this weird politeness we have going on right now, when I hear him mutter under his breath:

"Something other than this excruciating kind of distraction."

I turn back around.

"Distraction?"

He's silent so I press again.

"You think what just happened was a distraction?"

I didn't mean-" he starts and then sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. We're under a lot of stress. Let it go. It's not important."

"You think anything can distract me from the hell I'm living through right now?" I press.

"No, Rose. I just meant- with everything that's happened and Jessie isn't here- it's only natural to look for…something. Some comfort."

I stare at him but he still won't look at me.

"You think that's all this is for me? A placeholder for Jessie?"

His gaze is fixed firmly on the floor.

"It's all it has been in the past. 'Good practice for the college boys."

I scoff:

"Okay. You do not want to play the 'throw past lines in eachothers faces' game because boy do I have some zingers from you."

He sighs.

"I only meant, if this is what you needed, I'm happy to provide it. I'll always be here for you Roza. No matter what."

"You're saying I use people? That I used you now?"

He sighs and shakes his head.

"I'm saying…never mind. I'm not saying any of this right. It's late and you should go speak to your mother. I don't mean to make things more complicated for you."

My heart clenches and it's my turn to look at the floor.

He begins to pass me but I reach out and grab his arm. He freezes.

"You've always made things more complicated, Comrade." I say hoarsely. "Always."

He's tense under my touch but I am so very drained. So unbelievably tired. I take a deep breath.

"A couple of days before I left for California…Baba called me into his study. It was made explicitly clear by both Aidan and my father that I had two options. Either I come back here after college, and marry into the alliance; or, I live freely but alongside a soft fool with very deep pockets. Someone with good connections who wouldn't ask too many questions when helping us out of a bind. 'Do your part, your duty, for the good of the family.' "

I sigh and look up at him. He's frozen in place. What did it matter anymore?

"Those are my terms and conditions Dimitri." I say wearily, heading towards the door.

"That is my fine print. And if we're being honest. I wanted to. For Mattie's sake especially, I wanted to."

Not that he knew about any of this. My father and brother weren't stupid enough to tell him. He never understood why I had picked Jessie. Now he never would.

I pause before I close the door behind me.

"I never once used you, Dimitri."

- BREAK-

I find my mother downstairs. Dressed in black and staring blankly at the kitchen table.

"Mama?" she doesn't reply. She's rocking slightly, humming a lullaby I haven't heard since I was a child. I sit down next to her, place my hand slowly on her shoulder so as not to startle her.

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

Her gaze snaps to mine and it's the same shock to the system every time she's completely lucid.

"What were you doing with that boy?" she hisses

I sigh.

"Nothing worth reporting."

"Let it stay that way."

I stand up.

"Let me get you some water."

I come back to her shaking her head and muttering to herself. My heart sinks.

"Mama?"

"He's not your father you know" she says inanely. I stare at her, nodding slightly.

"I'm aware."

"Or your brothers. He's not Matthew. He's not Aidan."

"Mama-"

"And yet he lives here,'' she hisses. "Here in this compound. Why?"

"He has his own apartment now. He's bought his own apartment Mama."

"We pay him well, too well, so why is he here?"

"He stays here several nights a week as part of the protection detail, remember? He swaps shifts with some of the other men, like Pavel." She calms down at the mention of Pavel.

"He should be at the barracks. Where he belongs." My patience frays.

"You should get some rest-"

"Where is my son?" she looks up at me pleadingly.

I stare back at her, frozen.

"My eldest boy, Matthew. Where is he?"

I can't answer her.

"Mama-"

"He'll be asking for me." She insists, smiling up at me. "It's past his bedtime. I didn't sing him his song tonight."

I fall into the chair next to her.

I can't do this.

I find my voice.

"Maybe you can sing it for him now? For me as well. I haven't heard it in a while."

She smiles at me obliviously and holds out her arms.

"I'll tuck you both in together then. Like I did when you were children."

I bury my face into her shoulder and she strokes my hair, humming heedlessly as I try to muffle my cries.

AN:/ In Adele's voice from Rumour Has It "You and I have history now don't you rememberrr." For Romitri. The rest of it is just grief. But Chapter 3 is a flashback to the start of the Thirteen Romitri chronicles-so don't worry! You will get answers. We're not only serving doom and despair over here- just a large slice of it. Also, in the spirit of mentioning Adele and in the spirit of memes in general: I would like to take this opportunity to thank Beyonce. Forget my friends that I mentioned in the last update, none of this would have been possible without her. Hope everyone reading is doing as well as they can be!