For Alinyaathelia you ask, I provide.
Everyone Needs a Bosom for a Pillow*
Rachel could keep memories of Thomas at bay during the day, but at night her sleep was broken by nightmares. He would be looming over her menacingly his fists larger than ever or brandishing a weapon, sometimes even the leg of lamb that had been his nemesis. She'd come-to trembling to find Marilla stroking her gently, whispering that it was all just a bad dream.
The first time Marilla heard her cries in the night she padded along the hall, its light illuminating the bedroom just enough to see, but not enough to frighten Rachel. It wouldn't have mattered Rachel was traumatised already. Briefly Marilla thought about waking her up but decided against it. In any case Rachel rose out of her bed like a wave the blankets slipping off. She looked up wild eyed, not recognising Marilla at all. "Sh, sh, darling. You're safe now." Marilla felt it best she not caress Rachel though she desperately wanted to. "Wha? Wha?" Rachel was breathing heavily, heart racing struggling to get her bearings. Marilla sat on the end of the bed, "sh, sh. It's okay. You were having a bad dream. You're safe, you're here with me at Green Gables. He's gone. He can't hurt you ever again."
Rachel trembled at the thought still in the grip of the dream. "He – he can't?" she asked suspiciously.
"No darling he can't, you took care of that remember?" Marilla replied comfortingly.
"He can't hurt me?" Rachel still couldn't quite take it in. He'd just been in the room looming over her menacingly, and now Marilla was saying he couldn't hurt her? She looked at Marilla then down at her outstretched hand. She really wanted to touch Marilla to know that she was real that she was safe, but she was dreadfully frightened that the hand might turn into his; that this was all a terrible trap. He liked to play tricks on her, to catch her out and then knock her about. That had been his favourite game. Slowly she withdrew her hand shaking her head.
"Darling, it's me. I'll keep you safe. He can't hurt you ever again. It's me Marilla, we're at Green Gables," Marilla kept up her comforting litany hoping Rachel would come around, she was getting cold sitting there in her nightie; leaving to find her dressing gown was not an option.
Eventually Rachel's heavy breathing settled down and she let Marilla help her back down onto the pillows and tuck her back in bed. As she felt herself falling to sleep, she could hear Marilla's soft breathing from the end of the bed.
Marilla tried to patient with her; letting her sleep in, making her treats, buying her clothes; but she found it harder than she had expected. She loved Rachel with all her heart, but she had lost so much confidence; wavered in indecision so long. Marilla champed at the bit. She knew Rachel had paid too high a price for wrong decisions for many years; yet it was frustrating to watch her vacillate over the smallest of things. What to wear in the morning, what to have for breakfast, what to buy at the store? It gave Marilla an insight into the difficulties Rachel had endured. And while she prevaricated Marilla found it too enticing to just take over, to make that decision for her and move on; she hoped Rachel did not despise her for it.
She spoke to Matthew about it one night while Rachel took a bath, needing a fresh perspective, not that Matthew had much relationship experience. "Ya jus gotta let her take her time, Mar," he cautioned. "Freedom when you ain't had it 'afore is hard. He always made those decisions for her and when she tried to assert herself, she paid the price. Ya can't 'spect her to turn that off all a sudden."
"I know, I know, it's just so exasperating. We take hours walking around the store as she dithers over which can of tuna to buy." Marilla thought back to that afternoon when Rachel had balanced two brands of otherwise identical tuna tins in her hands for a full five minutes before reluctantly making a decision and even then, she nearly circled back to change her mind.
"She'll get there," Matthew reassured her. "Maybe you should go get a coffee and leave her to it. She might like to have the space. She probably knows you're frustrated and that makes it harder for her." Marilla nodded, Matthew may not say much as a general rule, but when he did speak his were words of wisdom.
Marilla turned over in bed one morning and as she glanced across the covers absentmindedly she noticed with a shock that the bed was not empty as expected; instead she saw her beloved's closed eyes mere inches from hers. Rachel stirred shortly after and woke to see Marilla smiling at her. "Mmm?"
"Nothing, I'm just happy to see you is all."
Rachel turned to face Marilla and reached out her hand, "I've been wanting to join you for weeks, last night I finally summoned the courage. Hope you don't mind."
By way of reply Marilla reached out and stroked the hair out of Rachel's face, trailing her thumb down Rachel's cheek catching the ridge of her lip. Rachel brushed it with the merest kiss. Marilla's hand continued down Rachel's neck and across her collarbone snaking down to cup her breast. When Rachel pulled back imperceptibly Marilla pulled her hand away, but Rachel grabbed her by her wrist and placed her hand back saying, "no, I like it." She undid the buttons of her nightie to give Marilla better access and Marilla responded by leaning forward to take one rosy red nipple in her mouth. Rachel shifted her position as Marilla continued to suckle, the engorged bud swirling deliciously in her mouth. When she pulled back it glistened in the early morning light. Rachel's torso bucked under her ministrations, "wh, wha are you doing?"
Marilla pulled away momentarily to answer, "this is foreplay my love, some say it's the best part … until the next part." Her fingers slowly traced around and down Rachel's chest to tickle her stomach. Rachel's legs parted quite of their own volition. Marilla stopped then unwilling to go there if Rachel was unsure. She pulled away to ascertain her reaction. Rachel's whole body was alive with longing. She looked across at Marilla, her hair spread messily across the pillow, panting sweat beading on her face. "Why... stop?"
"I want to be sure if you were ready. You have to tell me."
Rachel sighed and by way of an answer reached out for Marilla's hand pulling it across to the juncture of her legs. She was more than ready her whole body ached with desire. Marilla gently reached down, taking Rachel's hand she placed it under her own and felt Rachel shudder in shock.
Later Rachel sobbed with the emotion of it all. "He never let me feel that he never did that to me." Marilla held her as she let all her inhibitions flow out rubbing her back in concentric circles and murmuring words of love.
A droplet of pear juice snaked down Marilla's dainty wrist. Rachel had watched Marilla meticulously peel and cut up the deliciously ripe fruit, her mouth watering as Marilla carved off small morsels and fed them to her one by one. Rachel relished the taste of Marilla's fingers and obligingly licked the juice off. When some juice somehow landed on Rachel's breasts Marilla was only too happy to oblige in clearing it up with her warm tongue. The slight stickiness later was delicious.
The whole experience had an almost sacred tone. Marilla sat astride Rachel in bed her legs akimbo over Rachel's bare ones, naked bar the flimsy Asian inspired silk purple dressing gown Anne had given her for Christmas draped over her shoulders.
Rachel could get used to this treatment, although she always felt in the back of her mind that she would have to pay for such happiness somehow. After all her years of abuse she could never completely relax into her new situation. She couldn't quite articulate her feelings to Marilla who was after all so very sweet to her. She just had to keep a little back, just a little to keep herself safe should anything ever happen to upset them.
"Where should we live do you think?" Marilla asked as Rachel felt a sliver of the juicy pear slip out of her mouth, Marilla watched with a smile as the fruit fell through Rachel's ample cleavage. She bent over and licked it up, half tempted to send it back into Rachel's mouth through their lips, but it was so miniscule she had inadvertently swallowed it before she got the chance.
"Hm, here is nice," Rachel mused as she snuggled down into the pillows. "I've always loved Green Gables for the refuge it afforded me."
"Yes, but Matthew might feel somewhat put out. I mean he said he was happy, but…"
"No, you're quite right, it's not fair to upset Matthew with our," Rachel waved around at their deshabille airily.
"Quite." Marilla nodded, laying down next to Rachel and resting her head on her ample belly. Rachel was losing weight no longer needing to binge eat all the rubbish she had previously consumed, but weight loss was a slow business. In any case Marilla didn't want her to be skinny like she was, she liked Rachel's rolls. "So where?"
"Well I suppose there's always Lynde Hollow," Rachel tensed unexpectedly.
Marilla replied steadily, "I don't think you could live there again, could you? Have you been back since you came here?"
"I drive past it often enough."
"At speed I notice, and your eyes are always fixed firmly on the road in front; you don't look at the place at all."
Rachel's voice dropped to a whisper, "no."
"So that's settled," Marilla said conclusively, "we won't be moving there." She glanced across at Rachel, "you don't mind me making the decision, do you? I don't want to take over your life."
Rachel looked back at her steadily, for a moment it had seemed as though she'd swapped one despot for another, but no this was her darling Marilla a far far cry from him. She could no long bear to say his name even in her thoughts. "No, make the decision for me, my darling. I don't think I can … can do it."
Matthew assured the women he was perfectly happy for them to live there. Rachel sighed in satisfaction, she had hated the thought of moving away. Green Gables had always been a refuge, she loved it nearly as dearly as Marilla did.
They were careful around Matthew, but when his John Deere rumbled in the field or his old truck disappeared up the driveway they were quick to take advantage. Rachel might push Marilla's dress up around her thighs and kneel down before her as she leant against the kitchen counter. Or Marilla might push Rachel up onto the kitchen bench; sometimes they even used the bed.
"What's that?" Rachel asked as she watched Marilla rummage around in her bedside drawer one quiet afternoon, the John Deere could be heard chugging in the distance. "Oh yes, this," explained Marilla as she drew the object out. "I'll never forget the look on the Minister's face when Anne walked into the sitting room with this shimmering in her hands asking why I needed such a big lipstick and why it vibrated." I was mortified.
"Why on earth did the Minister visit you?"
"I dunno, drumming up business I guess. I have to say there's nothing like a curious child to make him skedaddle. He couldn't get out of here fast enough, nearly spilt his coffee down his pants."
"Don't put it away just yet," Rachel drawled.
"No, it's not that," Marilla leant back over Rachel's broad belly, relishing the silky sensation of skin on skin and reached over to the bedside table, "I have something for you." She handed Rachel an envelope.
Intrigued Rachel slit it open and drew out the card within. She hooted with laughter, her whole belly shaking with mirth. Marilla had recreated a facsimile of a golden Oscar. Rachel glanced up at Marilla mystified. "There's more inside," Marilla said by way of explanation. That was when Rachel really lost it, it read 'Rachel Lynde Best Actress'. When she recovered, she said, "oh darling, it's amazing. Did you draw that yourself? Oh well I suppose you must have. Come here." And they leant together for the most amazingly deep kiss and afterwards there was no need for toys.
* Brimful of Asha, Cornershop