A Few Pretty Good Bad Men
(A glimpse into the lives of the Devil's Hole Gang shortly before Kid and Heyes decided to go for the amnesty)
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"Stand and Dee-liv-er!"
The engineer, an older man with white hair and a sun-stained tan on his face and forearms poked his head out the window of the train engine. "Who says…. Oh, it's you two again."
"Charlie? Is that you?" Heyes asked the engineer. "I thought you worked for the Union Pacific?"
"I did until you boys robbed my train for the second time, and the railroad said 'goodbye, Charlie."
"I'm right sorry to hear that, Charlie," Kid Curry replied. "It seems you just can't trust nobody these days."
"Well look on the bright side, Charlie. You'll be the only man to go down in history for being held up by Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry not once, not twice, but three times!" Heyes exclaimed.
"Except you boys ain't robbin' this train," Charlie replied.
"Now what makes you say that?" Kid asked.
"Cause that boxcar with that safe in it can't be opened," Charlie replied.
"Every safe can be opened," Heyes said defensively.
"I ain't talking about the safe. I'm talking about the boxcar," Charlie replied.
"And just why can't that boxcar be opened?" Kid asked.
"It's welded shut."
"Welded?"
"Yep. Railroad paid a smithy to make sure that car don't open till it gets to its final destination. And the safe's bolted face down to the floor."
"Face down?" Heyes asked, astounded but at the same time impressed by the precautions the railroad had taken.
"You fellas gonna sit there jabbering all afternoon?" Wheat shouted from an open passenger window. "We'd best be making tracks in the next twelve minutes."
"Kyle! How much dynamite did you bring?" Heyes shouted to Kyle who was standing outside the designated boxcar scratching his head.
"A whole crate, but Heyes, there ain't no door on this car!"
Heyes and Kid exchanged glances. "Guess we'd best go take a look," Heyes told his partner. "Wheat, make sure Charlie and the passengers all stay put right where they are."
Wheat gave the leaders a nod, then turned to the passengers all gawking out the windows of the train car. "You heard the man. Ain't nothin' to worry about. You all just sit tight and we'll have you folks on your way in no time."
Heyes and Kid walked down to the boxcar and stood next to Kyle as they studied the carefully sealed doors. In addition to the welding, the doors were secured with four rectangular metal bars bolted across the doors.
"The door alone is gonna take most all the dynamite I brung," Kyle told them.
"How much you say was in that safe, Heyes?" Kid asked.
The look of disappointment on Heyes' face told a story. "About eighty thousand dollars," he grumbled.
"And you can't even get close to the tumblers," Kid reminded his partner.
"Maybe it's true, Heyes," Kyle said as his hands tightened around the sticks of dynamite he had been planning to use.
"What's true?
"A fool and his money are soon parted."
Kid winced at Kyle's words of wisdom. "If you're calling Heyes a fool, Kyle…"
"Oh no, Kid! I just meant that maybe the railroad ain't the fools they use to be."
"He might be right for a change, Heyes."
Heyes nodded while still staring up at the impenetrable hunk of steel. "Well, best go tell the boys to move that tree trunk off the tracks and let the train be on its way. At least that train to Columbine in a couple of weeks should be a piece of cake."
Again Kid winced, knowing that historically, things never seems to go as easily as planned for the Devil's Hole Gang. But he wisely kept this observation to himself.
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Back at Devil's Hole, Hannibal Heyes paced slowly back and forth from one end of the leader's cabin to the other while eight destitute outlaws sat in chairs or on the sofa pensively waiting to hear the leader's next brilliant plan. Kid stood leaning against the corner wall of the fireplace, carefully eyeing each of the men and ready to put a quick halt to any objections to what his partner might be about to say.
"Fifty thousand dollars in the safe on the train to Columbine," Heyes began as he stopped and faced the band of outlaws. That train is a Union Pacific and they generally use a Pierce and Hamilton which is a piece of cake to open."
An audible sound of disgust brought Kid's eyes to rest on Wheat Carlson, the main antagonist among the group. "Wheat, let's just hear Heyes out before anyone goes spouting any displeasure," Kid said using a calm warning voice that silenced Wheat's objections.
"As I was saying, tumblers on a P & H are so loud, Helen Keller could open one of them safes with her eyes closed."
Kid watched as every man listening to Heyes looked at each other with a bit of confusion. But only Kyle had the courage to comment. "Heyes, you do know that Helen Keller can't hear or see? She wouldn't even hear the tumblers."
Heyes looked at his partner who had suddenly discovered something of great interest on the floor, his tongue shoved against the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.
"That is my point, Kyle. Anybody can open a P & H."
"Oh. Sorry, Heyes…. But what if it ain't a P & H?" Kyle asked.
Heyes again looked at Kid whose head was still down but whose eyes were now raised toward his partner, waiting for genius response.
"That's why you'll be bringing dynamite, Kyle."
Kyle's chest puffed and he straightened himself in his chair. "I think that's a fine idea!"
"How we stoppin' the train?" Wheat asked.
"A tree trunk works just fine and makes it easy for the train to be on its way after we collect the loot," Heyes replied.
"Where we gonna stop it?" Preacher asked.
"There's a bend about fifteen miles outside of Columbine. That's a good spot to lay in wait."
"Don't leave us much time to escape. As soon as that train gets to Columbine, there'll be a posse forming."
"We'll split the money three ways and go in three different directions. Posse won't know which group to follow, and with such short notice, it won't be a big posse anyway," Heyes replied. "Any more questions?"
When no other questions followed, Heyes drew the meeting to a closed and everyone except Kid Curry slowly filed out of the cabin.
"Well?' Heyes asked Kid as he shut the front door.
"Helen Keller, Heyes? A bit on the crass side, don't you think?"
"It got my point across. Even Kyle understood it."
Kid nodded and didn't try to contain his grin. "With a little extra explanation."
Heyes walked to the kitchen cupboard and reached for the open bottle of whiskey and 2 glasses. He poured two drinks, then crossed the room and handed one of the glasses to Kid.
"You know, robbing trains and stages is fast becoming a dying art what with telegraphs and coming up with ways of bolting an entire train car shut. The day's gonna come, and sooner than we may think, when technology is just gonna outsmart us," Heyes said.
"I hope never to see the day that Hannibal Heyes can't outsmart technology," Kid replied.
"I appreciate the confidence, but the fact is, safes are getting harder to open with silent tumblers and inch thick steel walls."
"Are you suggesting we should find another line of work like maybe learning some of Soapy's cons?" Kid asked.
Heyes studied the whiskey remaining in his glass. "I'm not suggesting anything at this point, Kid. I'm just… trying to think ahead…. You know, to the future."
Kid nodded, wondering what he and Heyes could possibly do if outlawing were to come to an end. They weren't trained for anything and even farming or ranching were not occupations they had much if any experience with. Even worse, they both had ten thousand dollar bounties on their heads. "Do they got technology in Mexico?" Kid asked.
Heyes smiled. "I'm afraid so, Kid."
"Then we'd best find a way to keep doing what we've been doing. You're the genius, Heyes. You'll come up with somethin.'"
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Two weeks later ten men sat on their horses along the banks of the Green River, an old meandering river that was not especially wide or deep. But recent hard rains had caused flooding, and they area where they had planned to cross had doubled in width and had a visibly strong current.
"Best try further downstream," Wheat suggested. "Let that current die down a bit."
"No time for that, Wheat. We need at least two hours just to fell a tree to lay over the tracks," Heyes replied as he pulled his pocket watch from his vest to check the time. "We've got another hour and a half ride just to get to that bend in the tracks."
"Can't blow a safe with wet dynamite," Wheat replied.
"Wheat. We all know your opinion. Now give Heyes time to think," Kid said, leaving no room for argument.
Heyes pulled off his hat and scratched the top of his head, then gave Kid a quick glance and saw his partner offer him a subtle shrug of his shoulders. He ran splayed fingers through his hair and returned his hat to his head. "Boys, keep your feet dry, we're gonna cross right here. Kyle, you mind that dynamite."
"Got everything snug as a bug in a rug," Kyle assured him
Fuses? Caps?" Heyes asked and Kyle nodded with a proud smile on his face.
"Might have been better plannin' to ask about them things before we left the Hole," Wheat grumbled just loud enough to be heard.
"Wheat," Kid cautioned.
Wheat shifted uncomfortable in his saddle. "Just sayin' Kid."
"Well until your insight proves to be better than Heyes, just keep your thinking to yourself," Kid replied.
Wheat looked visibly unhappy with the reprimand but remained silent.
"Alright fellas, you all heard Heyes, Now let's get ourselves across this river in one piece," Kid called to the group, then urged his chestnut into the water and the others all followed in single file.
"You walk it, you don't swim it Dina-A-Ling," Kid said with a bit of misdirected irritation in his voice.
Twenty minutes later the gang and their horses were all safely on the other side of the river.
"How did your saddlebags fare, Kyle?" Heyes asked
Kyle lifted the dark brown, well-worn saddlebags from the horse's back and held them up for inspection. "Don't see no water drippin' off em, Heyes."
"So long as the dynamite stayed dry, we should be in good shape," Heyes told him. "Now, we've got another hour or so to reach the bend. At that point, it should be a piece of cake."
Kid cringed despite the fact he knew Heyes was only trying to boost the men's morale, and for that reason only, he remained quiet. He sat patiently in his saddle and waited for Heyes to move into the lead. Then he gave his horse a gentle kick and moved up next to Heyes while the others all fell into a sort of misshapen line.
An hour or so later they had reached the spot where the train would be rounding the bend and Heyes once again pulled out his watch to check the time. "Train's due in two hours and eighteen minutes. We'd better get started boys."
Climbing out of their saddles and pulling axes from their saddle bags, the gang set to work finding a tree with a trunk thick enough to stop a train, but small enough to fell and lay across the tracks with time to spare.
"Don't see why Heyes and the Kid don't help with the heavy work," Wheat grumbled to Kyle in a voice quiet enough not to be overheard. "When I'm the leader of this gang, I'll still be one of the boys, too."
Kyle looked up at Wheat with a confused look. "How do you plan on becoming leader, Wheat? I don't think Heyes is planning on stepping down anytime soon."
Wheat slammed his ax into the trunk of the tree. "I don't think Heyes has been planning much of anything lately. Just look at this job. I couldda planned it a whole lot better."
"How?" Kyle asked.
Wheat yanked his ax free of the tree and stood to stretch his back as he gave a sideways glance toward the two leaders. "Better," he replied.
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Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry walked down the ravine to the railroad tracks to pick the perfect spot to lay the tree.
"It can't be so close to the bend that the engineer doesn't see it in time to get the train stopped. No sense risking passengers getting hurt," Heyes said, thinking aloud.
"Looks like a bit of a clearing in the woods over there," Kid said and pointed to the spot he was talking about. "There's room to tie the horses and some felled trees to use for cover if Kyle decides to overdo it with the dynamite."
Heyes nodded and Kid grinned. "Felled trees we couldda used instead of chopping down a new one."
Heyes raised his eyes and gave Kid both a sideways glance and an exasperated smirk. "Maybe we ought to make you leader, being as you seem to be the man with all the ideas."
"Whatever you think best," Kid replied in a very deadpan tone.
"How's that tree coming along?" Heyes shouted up the ravine.
"Almost got it," came the reply.
"Well tie it to a couple of horses and bring it down here where Kid and me are standing. Then get into position."
With the tree now laid across the tracks and all the men men carefully hidden in the trees on either side of the tracks, Kid and Heyes walked over and mounted their horses while the train whistled in the distance.
"Well Kid, if all goes as planned, a half an hour from now we'll be hightailing it back to the Hole fifty thousand dollars richer than we are right now," Heyes declared confidently.
"If it was anybody else planning this Heyes, I'd be a tad skeptical. But knowing you the way I do, I'm just a little dubious is all."
"Uh-huh. You'll be whistling a different tune when this is all over, my friend."
The train whistle grew louder and they moved their horses into position and waited for the screeching sound of the brakes causing the iron wheels to spark and scrape along the tracks. As the train came to an abrupt halt just inches from the fallen tree, Kid and Heyes rode into view and Kid caught a glimpse of the engineer and he leaned to his left in the saddle to whisper to his partner.
"Heyes, it's Charlie again."
Heyes looked and sure enough it was their old friend, Charlie. He dropped his head and sighed heavily, then raised his head and smiled. "Every job has a glitch Kid, and Charlie is ours. From here on in this will be a piece of cake!
Once again Kid cringed. "Sure Heyes. Whatever you say."
In unison the two men pulled their guns from their holsters to address the engineer.
"Stand and Dee-liver!"