A Hypothetical Plan

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Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry had arrived in the town of Redemption two days ago. Tucked in the foothills of the Little Big Horn Mountains, the town boasted one hotel and one saloon, but no sheriff or telegraph office, making it a frequent stopover for the less savory faction of those seeking anonymity or maintaining a safe distance from the Law. People in Redemption were cordial but minded their own business. Even the hotel owner requested, or rather insisted upon guests signing the register with a simple "X" rather than a traceable name, either real or fictitious.

Late one evening Heyes and the Kid retired to their hotel room with a bottle of unopened whiskey, and a dime novel that Heyes had noticed lying unattended on a table in the lobby. Once readying himself for bed, Heyes sat with his back leaning against the headboard and his legs stretched out on the mattress with ankles crossed, while the Kid sat at a small table near the window to clean his gun before retiring for the night.

After an hour of reading, Heyes closed the book and set it on the nightstand beside the bed. He clasped his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling, lost in contemplative thought. Seemingly without looking up from his work, Kid noticed his partner's change of posture and, knowing his partner well, waited for the inevitable question or ponderance to follow.

"Kid, you know what a hypothetical question is?"

Wiping the oil from the barrel of his gun, Kid offered a nod. "It's a question that ain't got a right or wrong answer."

"That's one way of explaining it," Heyes mused.

"And I s'pect you're about to tell me another," Kid replied without looking away from his task.

Heyes arched his back in a lazy and long stretch before responding.

"What do you know about Heaven?"

The question caught Kid off guard, and he raised his eyes curiously toward his partner.

"It's where the souls of all the fine, decent folks in the world end up, which likely discounts you and me from ever getting a glimpse of the place," Kid replied.

"What do you suppose it looks like?" Heyes asked.

"Donno, Pearly Gates I s'pose."

"What else?"

Growing a little concerned about his partner's choice of topics, Kid set his gun and cleaning cloth on the table, leaned back on two legs of the chair, and folded his arms across his chest.

"Heyes, is there something you ain't told me?"

Across the room, Hannibal Heyes shook his head. "Nope, just got to wondering what the eternal residence of the Chosen looks like."

"As I recall, Father Michael and all the Nuns at the orphanage used to say the streets of Heaven are lined with gold."

Heyes closed his eyes and smiled as he pictured shiny, golden streets high above the clouds.

"Now for the hypothetical question…."

"You mean the others weren't hypothetical?" Kid asked.

"Not really," Heyes replied. "Revelations says the streets of Heaven are paved in gold. That's a fact."

"Ah, but gold might be a color rather than a precious metal," Kid surmised.

Heyes nodded. "Something to consider," he replied in all seriousness.

"Heyes, just exactly what are you considering?"

Ignoring his partner's question, Heyes proceeded along his own train of thought.

"Lemme ask you this, Kid. If we never get our amnesty, and the statute of limitations never runs out on our crimes, but we never go back to robbing banks and trains, would you say we might have a shot at getting into Heaven one day?"

"I'd say that decision ain't up to me, or you neither," Kid replied. "Now what are you getting at?"

"Just wondering if one day you and me might have the opportunity to see those gold-studded streets."

Kid gave the idea a moment of consideration. "I can't say I like the odds of that happening, but I s'pect we might have an outside chance, provided we never go back to robbin' trains and banks."

Heyes was quiet for a long moment as his mind wrapped itself around the possibility and began formulating the rough draft of a plan.

"Do you think it's always daylight in Heaven?" Heyes asked.

Concerned wrinkles formed across Kid's brow. "How much of that whiskey have you been drinking, Heyes?"

Heyes raised his head slightly and frowned at his partner. "Look, the bottle is on the dresser and ain't been touched. Now tell me what you think about daylight in Heaven."

Kid sighed and blew a long puff of air through rounded lips. "I don't recall the Nuns or the Priest ever talking about that subject, but I would think that even an eternal soul has got to rest sometime."

"Hmm," Heyes replied. "That would be an important thing to know," he muttered more to himself than to his partner.

Kid dropped his chair and planted his feet firmly on the floor. "You mind telling me exactly why that would be an important thing to know?"

"And we might hafta wait till all the boys arrive," Heyes mused while still lost in his own thoughts.

"You mean wait till the entire Devil's Hole Gang is dead and buried? They ain't likely to be showing up at the Pearly Gates, you know. And even if they do, they ain't any more likely than the two of us are of getting a pass. So, what in the world are you…."

Kid stopped mid-sentence when he realized just what his partner was thinking. He dropped his arms and crossed the room to the dresser where the whiskey and two glasses awaited, all the while laughing loudly.

"No one but you, Heyes…."

Heyes shot a scornful glance at his partner. "It's just a thought, Kid!" he argued defensively.

"Uh-huh. I can see the headlines now. 'Hannibal Heyes and the Devil's Hole Gang Make Off With the Streets of Heaven!'"

Heyes smiled. "That would be a lot of gold…."

Kid walked over to his partner's bed and handed him a shot of whiskey.

"Heyes, you remember your Ma tellin' you about that one thing you should never do cause God would strike you blind?"

"Uh-huh," Heyes replied, wondering where in the world this was going.

"I think it's a fair bet that stealing anything in Heaven would be a worse fate than going blind."

"The fear of going blind never stopped you," Heyes argued.

"True, but my Ma never told me that story 'cause she knew I was perfect."

Heyes gulped his shot of whiskey and set the glass on the table with a thud.

"You're Ma was a crook," he countered.

"That may or may not be true, but I'm willin' to bet she never had the audacity to think she could steal so much as a pebble from the streets of Heaven," Kid replied while still grinning ear to ear at his partner's outrageous idea.

"I still say my idea is a good one," Heyes grumbled.

Kid sat down on the edge of his bed and sipped his whiskey. "I hate to be the one to bring you back down to earth Heyes, but the idea of you being a genius just took a big hit with this idea… Stealing the streets of gold. Yeah, that's a Hannibal Heyes plan, alright."

"So, I guess I am to assume you will not be participating in this heist?"

Kid set his glass down on the table and pulled off his boots before climbing into his bed and turning his back to his partner.

"Lemme me put it this way, Heyes. If on the outside chance we was to make it to Heaven, I for one am gonna do my best to stay. But, I'm willin' to guess if you was to run your idea past Wheat and the boys, you might get one or two of em to go along with you."

"You think?" Heyes asked.

"Sure. If there's any purpose to life, Kyle's gonna miss it, and I s'pect the same is likely true in the hereafter. I just hope the two of you like desert livin' cause where you're headed is gonna be hot. Now, good night."

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Author's Note: Chatting about AS&J with Rachel C while scrolling FB, I came upon a post about the streets of Heaven lined with gold. Naturally, the two subjects began to intertwine, and Rachel and I began to hypothesize a conversation between Kid and Heyes. This is the result of that conversation and I mean no religious disrespect, after all, these of the thoughts of Heyes and Curry and I can't be held responsible for their thoughts.