It was time before Christmas Day and all through the neighborhood, all the children were stirring, even if they weren't always good.
"Excuse me, but I'LL be doing the narration here." A voice interrupted.
Who said that?
"I did, THE GRIM REAPER!" A certain skeleton stated as he appeared in the scene suddenly as quirky holiday music began to play as he smirked. "Now, quick reminder, is this the Justiceverse or Perkyverse Prime or that dreaded Toonyverse?" he then wondered as he looked around before shrugging. "No matter, I'll get started..." he then said before he did a sudden narration. "'Twas the night before Christmas, Santa'd not yet departed,His sleigh was tricked out and his reindeer had farted, His belly was swollen, his beard was bone white, The elves were wound up on sugar delights, He checked his list to see who'd been good, And they'll get their reward as good children should, But there are some who aren't jolly, some who aren't nice, And Santa makes sure that they pay the price, 'Twas a dark night before Christmas as children lay sleeping, 'Twas the perfect time for some holiday reaping!"
Billy and Mandy in THE FRIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
A Cartoon Network Production, in association with Nickelodeon, PerkyGoth14, and Sonic Thunder Saiyan Turtle
RICHARD HORVITZ as Billy
GREY DELISLE as Mandy
GREG EAGLES as The Grim Reaper
JOSH KEATON as LJ Schwartz
LILIANA MUMY as Kimberly
ARIEL WINTER as Chrissy
JESS DICICCO as Lynn Jr
MALCOLM MCDOWELL as Baron von Ghoulish
CAROL KANE as Mrs. Claus
and GILBERT GOTTFRIED as Santa
It was a brisk December day, and since it was cold enough to freeze your fingernails off, LJ decided to bring the others to the mall. Alas, the only one close by was the Endsville Mall, but beggars can't be choosers.
"Kimber, Chris, Lynn, stay close," advised LJ. "Endsville people can be real weird... and not in the fun way, like my parents are."
"I just know that if anyone tries anything on me that they're getting a taste of old Lynnsanity." Lynn remarked as they walked along.
"I just hope they have something nice on sale, like dazzling perfume," Chrissy added and beamed. "I'm photogenic, you know, and perfume helps sell my good looks."
"Not sure how you can smell perfume through a photograph, but you do you, Chrissy." Kimberly said, humoring her a little.
Soon, they made it into the Mall where people were going about and shopping, seeming to be in a good mood so far. Many people appeared to be in line though to go and see Santa Claus as generic holiday music began to play.
"Pub-lic domain Christmas songs, fa la la la la la la la la~" The speakers sang.
"I'm just glad it's not that annoying Tina the Talking Tabby commercial." Lynn grumbled.
"Yeah... that was everywhere for a while." commented LJ.
At that very moment, one idiot boy, pessimistic girl, and sentient manifestation of Death itself were also waiting in line.
"Last chance for some hamburger on a stick!" offered Grim.
"Pass," Mandy replied while Billy squeezed his knees together.
"MORE FOR ME!" Grim beamed as he gobbled down his hamburger.
Dec 13, 2023"Oh, fudge me..." LJ mumbled as they came across the line.
Chrissy, Lynn, and Kimberly looked at him.
"Just back away slowly and make no sudden sounds..." LJ told the others as he tried to avoid the controversial trio. "We're gonna get out of here in one piece and shred of sanity left."
"SAAAANTA CLAUS IS COMIN' TO TOWN, SAAAAANTA CLAUS IS COMIN' TO TOWN!" Suddenly a young voice sang loudly from LJ's pocket as it was is emergency cell phone.
"Lionel Schwartz Jr," The blonde girl greeted as she slowly turned around to face him. "I thought I smelled a weenie in the air."
"Save the insults, Mandy," LJ rolled his eyes as he took his phone out. "I gotta take this."
Mandy rolled her eyes a bit.
"Hello?~" LJ greeted calmly before he got casual. "Oh, hey, Mom. Yeah, we're at the Mall now, what's up?" he then added.
"Just make sure you don't spend all your Mall money on toys for yourself," Cherry reminded LJ. "I know you're not selfish and greedy, but it's a big job to leave money for your child on his own. Also make sure you have your list ready for Felicity and her friends since they're all going to visit Arendelle this Christmas with their friend, Ben."
"Can-do, Mum," LJ nodded. "I got it all worked out!"
"All right then, have fun..." Cherry replied before sighing softly. "Another year, another December about to come and make us all feel endless joy and love and hope and Christmas." she added, sounding a little depressed right now.
"Hey, it's all good, Mom," advised LJ. "After all, there are still your favorite songs to look forward to."
"Yeah, I guess so," Cherry replied. "Okay, you kids have fun, I just wanted to make sure you remembered that Felicity would only be on videochat this year for Christmas."
"Right-o, Mom," LJ nodded. "See you when we get home."
"All right, LJ," Cherry nodded before she would hang up. "Have fun with your friends."
LJ then hung up and then Cherry did the same.
Cherry sighed sharply as she walked off, looking very emotionally distant. "I don't know what it is, but this time of year is a lot rougher on me than it used to be and I once had to spend Christmas away from my parents against my will as a favor to a new friend in need."
Lionel hugged her.
"I just hope Mom's okay." said LJ as he pocketed his phone.
"I'm sure she'll be fine soon," Kimberly said softly. "We'll be there for you though."
"Through thick and thin and thick and thinner." Chrissy added.
"Oh, barf." Mandy rolled her eyes at that as Grim enjoyed his snack immensely.
"You mortals did something right when you invented mall food~" Grim said as he could be heard giggling.
"I can't believe there is this many people waiting to use the bathroom!" Billy complained as he looked ready to burst. "I feel like my bladder's is going to explode."
"Actually, this is the line to see Santa Claus." A boy clarified to Billy.
"Santa's here? AT A MALL?! Oh, he must be buying me presents!" Billy asked and gushed out of excitement. "SANTA!" he then added hyperactively, about four times, getting closer and closer through the line among the people.
"Hey! Watch it!" Ed glared at Billy as he stood in line along with Sarah who was also in line to see Santa, looking grumpy because everyone was taking so long and she was very impatient.
"I WANNA TALK TO SANTA!" Sarah shrieked angrily.
Ed groaned as he rolled his eyes on aggravation.
"You shouldn't talk, Ed," Sarah glared deeply at her idiot big brother. "You were obsessed with Santa and Christmas, especially when it was Piggy Bank Day in July and you and your stupid friends acted like it was December!"
"Few more years, few more years..." Ed grumbled to himself in the worst annoyance of his life since he had deeply matured after becoming a BattleToad.
"Santa. What a big red scam." Mandy complained.
"Santa's not a scam Mandy, he's real," Grim corrected the Negative Nancy of a little girl. "We went to college."
"Wow..." Kimberly whispered. "You know Papá Noel?"
"Certainly." Grim nodded.
"Grim, everyone knows that Santa is an invention, designed by the Big 5 Corporation to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public." Mandy scoffed and corrected like she would know more than the personification of Death.
"The whole childhood wonder stage just blew right past you, didn't it?" Grim asked bitterly.
"Ah, she wouldn't know wonder or happiness if it bit her in the butt," shrugged LJ. "All she knows is pessimism and raining on people's parades."
"Oh, like your mother isn't negative all the time?" Mandy scoffed. "She gets depressed every time that freak who died in 2009 is talked about in a bad way and she can't let things go with people. some strong mother figure you got there who claims to have thick skin, but never has any when it comes to that freak with the zoo and amusement park in his yard just to lure a bunch of kids in his bed and claim that he's Peter freakin' Pan."
LJ reared back and punched Mandy right in the mouth. "You want another knuckle sandwich, or are you full?' he spat.
"Augh!" Mandy cried out and shook violently. "Why, you..."
General Skarr was shown to be dressed up as Santa Claus with a little girl he was talking to. "So little girl, tell Santa your name." he then said unenthusiastically.
"Cassie!" The little girl stated.
"And what do you want Santa to bring you, Cassie?" Skarr then asked her in the same tone of voice.
"A cool pair of wings so I can fly." Cassia said out of excitement.
"Yes, and Santa wants another $1.50 an hour, BUT APPARENTLY HE'S NOT GETTING THAT EITHER!" Skarr replied out of irritability as the mall manager was shown to be scowling t him for his irritable behavior and slammed the door in his office. "Just remember Cassie, disappointment is a present to." he then advised like it was good advice.
"SANTA! SANTA! SANTA! SANTA! SANTA! SANTA!" Billy babbled as he came close to Santa Claus, he is actually General Skarr, he then appeared in his beard, knocking Cassie out of there, sat down next to him, inhaled, and told him everything that he wanted for Christmas. "I want a peg leg, a 3-way radio, a Shetland Pony, an automatic shoe buffer, an Eskimo, a baby antelope, Aquaman underpants, ringworm education, staple gun, robotic fingers, fourth nipple, a condo in Miami, a monkey blender, a battery-powered battery-charger. Hey Santa how come you gots one eye? My next weird door neighbor only gots one eye too. That guys's a real freak monkey, Uh-huh."
"Have you been relieving yourself on me this whole time?" Skarr asked suspiciously.
"Uh...'Tis the season for giving." Billy shrugged innocently.
"Eww..." Chrissy and Kimberly both complained.
"Whoa! Santa's trying to kill that little kid!" exclaimed one person.
LJ chuckled as Skarr angrily flailed at Billy while the elves held him back.
"Let me GO!" screeched Skarr. "He's been a very naughty boy! Just one season's beating! Just ONE!"
"You wanna get that shopping done for your mom before something crazy happens like you say it does in this town?" Lynn asked LJ.
"Yes, I do," LJ replied. "And maybe it'll take my mind off wanting to punch Mandy's teeth out."
Soon, the girls and LJ rushed over to the stores they had to go to get gifts for Felicity, Mal, Evie, Jay, and Carlos who would be missing out on Christmas with the family this year since Ben told them about a crisis over where Elsa formerly and Anna currently lived after the events of "Winter's End". Lynn, Chrissy, and Kimberly did whatever they could to help LJ as he finished up his shopping at the plaza since they had pretty interesting gifts and not a moment too soon as Skarr's fake beard came off and this made the people at the Mall overreact at the "Ho, Ho, Hoax".
"Hey! That's not the real Santa." A man called out.
"This mall lied to us, LET'S GET 'EM!" A woman added out of pure rage.
Everyone soon grabbed the tree, shook it, and made it fall to the ground, causing everyone to cheer as the tree caught on fire.
"This is for making me believe!" A second man yelled before he threw a present at the glass window shop and broke it.
"I got your Christmas cheers, right here." A third man glared as Skarr was about to have a taste of his own medicine.
"PLEASE, IT'S JUST A JOB!" Skarr cried out as a woman held him back.
"Merry Fistmas, Jerk-wad!" The man glared as he punched Skarr in the stomach.
"EEEEEEED!" Sarah soon yelled out. "Make these angry people get away from me! ED! ED, WHERE ARE YOU?!"
Ed was shown to be in a shop known as Hot Topic along with LJ and the girls. "I think Mal might like this." he then offered to LJ as he found a black spiked choker.
"Oh, that's a good idea," nodded LJ. "Thanks! I bet she'll really like it!"
"I'm not into this sorta thing, but I know Marie Kanker is." Ed commented.
"How is Marie by the way?" Kimberly asked.
"A lot happier since Ambrose has been hanging out with her," Ed nodded. "Me, Double D, and Eddy are just hoping that The Dark Queen stays quiet around this time of year since Christmas is my favorite holiday."
"Well, that's good," nodded LJ. "One hopes May and Lee will find something else to occupy their time."
"I haven't seen much of them these days, but I hear a new kid moved into their trailer park." Ed shrugged.
"I think these are good gifts for them," Chrissy said to LJ. "Poetry book for Felicity, make-up for Evie, spiked choker for Mal, some chew toys for Carlos' dog, Dude... I'm just not sure what to give Jay."
"I hear he takes stuff that isn't his though." Lynn shrugged.
"Well, if he knows what's good for 'im, he'll keep his sticky fingers to himself," LJ remarked.
"Well, hopefully you can think about it a little." Kimberly told LJ.
"Yeah, I just better be quick." LJ nodded as he went to get the gifts wrapped.
Due to the fire however, the workers were urgent about leaving and just left them go without paying as a "holiday discount", though Kimberly left some money anyway since she had a very good nature even before knowing LJ while Chrissy and Lynn had to work on it.
"Well, I hope your mom can get those presents shipped in time." Lynn said to LJ as they left the Mall as it caught fire due to the mass hysteria.
"She's got a system," replied LJ. "It's my dad!"
"How come every time I take you kids to the mall, it burns down?" Grim asked as he and the kids stood outside.
"I blame the economy," replied Billy.
LJ rolled his eyes at that as he hung around Chrissy, Lynn, and Kimberly.
"Grim, I'm still waiting for prove that Santa exists." Mandy demanded impatiently.
"Oh, yeah? I got the proof right here." Grim retorted as he used his scythe to summon a swirling vortex.
"A swirling vortex!" Billy gasped out of excitement. "I love it when there's a swirling vortex!"
Immediately, the vortex sucked them all inside and let out a greasy belch.
Seconds later, they arrived at the North Pole. A man appeared to be dangling upside down and screaming as he was surrounded by yetis, including one by the name of Abbey Bominable.
"Well, here we are, The North Pole." Grim announced to everyone.
"Where's Santa?" Billy asked before looking at the hanging upside down man, and the yeti, thinking that it was Santa Claus. "Santa, you in here?" he then asked.
The yeti then tore Billy's face off, showing his skull underneath, much to Grim and Mandy's irritation of Billy's stupidity.
"Santa has sharp nails." Billy told Grim and Mandy.
"Are you folks lost?" Abbey asked as she came by.
"Hey, aren't you that snow monster girl who went to that monster high school my mom used to visit like Ms. Grimwood's School for Ghouls?" LJ asked her.
"That is me, Abbey Bominable, but who is your mother?" The monster girl replied.
"You might remember someone by the name of Cherry Butler?" LJ prompted.
"Ah, yes, I remember her well, especially when she helped Frankie Stein during that adventure in Skull Shores while Atticus and Mo went to Rio," Abbey nodded before she gestured to the side. "I am only here to visit my uncle for the holidays."
"Hey, you guys want some snowcones?" A fuzzy white monster asked, holding out a tray of snowcones that appeared to be yellow. "Don't worry, it's lemon." he then added since he knew yellow snow always looked awkward to people.
"If you're looking for the North Pole, you're going the wrong way," Abbey then explained before she pointed to the distance. "That is the North Pole."
"Ah," nodded LJ. "Thank you very much!"
"You're welcome." Abbey nodded.
"Come on, guys, this way," LJ told the girls who looked a bit wide-eyed and shocked. "...what?" he then asked them in concern.
"You were talking to a yeti like nothing happened." Lynn explained.
"Yeah, she's a friend of Mom's," said LJ. "Now let's get a move on."
"Uh, okay then?" Lynn replied.
Chrissy and Kimberly walked off ahead with LJ before Lynn shook her head rapidly to quickly catch up with them.
They soon found Santa's Workshop.
"SANTA! SANTA! SANTA!" Billy cheered in excitement and ran up to the sleigh he found. "Santa's sleigh."
"I guess Santa is real then, huh?" Chrissy commented.
"This could be anyone's sleigh," Mandy scoffed. "Maybe a rouge Eskimo."
Everyone else then glared at her in annoyance.
"Well, it could." Mandy defended.
"What I find odd, is that Santa-" Grim began to say.
"Or an Eskimo." Mandy interrupted.
"Or an Eskimo..." Grim repeated in irritability and continued. "Would just leave his sleigh out here with the engine running and no one in sight."
Billy then put his tongue on Santa's sleigh and due to the weather and his tongue, it got frozen just like he was a regular old "Tongue-Tied Schwartz", no relation to Lionel or anyone else in his family of course.
"Also, 'Eskimo'? That's kinda racist, Mandy." said LJ.
"Stop goofin' around, Billy!" snapped Grim, as he and the others headed for the workshop.
Billy followed behind, dragging the frozen sleigh by his tongue.
"No, it's not." Mandy glared at LJ.
"Trust me, it is," LJ replied before smirking. "Your favorite part of Peter Pan is when they meet the Indians, right?"
Kimberly chuckled a little at that as that was pretty funny.
"Why don't we go to the 1970s and see that classic Disney movie 'Song of the Slaves', huh?" Mandy retorted.
"Hey, you first!" LJ remarked as they passed by the workshop...which looked a little more run-down than it did at a glance.
"Weird..." murmured Grim. "Where is everyone?" He then rang the doorbell.
"If Santa did exist," remarked Mandy. "I'd say he needs some decorating tips."
"De door's locked, and no-one's answerin'," replied Grim.
"If you saw the Grim Reaper at your door, would you answer it?" asked Mandy.
"...good point," admitted Grim. "But usually there's at least some frightened screamin'."
"How do we get in then?" Chrissy wondered.
"Stand back, I think I have an idea." Lynn said as she walked away for a moment.
The others glanced at her, wondering what she was up to, until suddenly...
"Hang on. I got something that'll get us inside." Grim suddenly said.
"What?" The others asked him.
"A skeleton key," Grim beamed, showing them his key until a snowball got hit in his face and he used the key to unlock the door. Easy as pie." he then said.
"HEEYAH!" Lynn yelled out as she took Santa's sleigh and used it to crash in through the door along with Billy trailing behind it with his tongue before she groaned and went flying as she smacked into the wall. "Well, it sorta worked." she then muffled.
"Dang it, Billy!" Grim shouted. "Why you always gotta be—"
"Grim?" asked a voice, which belonged to a large, white-haired woman. "Oh, thank goodness it's only you!" Said woman was hiding behind a tipped-over table, along with several dozen elves. "It's okay, everyone. It's only Death!" called the woman. "You can all come out!"
The elves then came on out after that.
"Aww..." Kimberly cooed and smiled at the cute little elves.
"Oh, Grim, I'm so glad you're here," The woman told the skeleton before pulling him into a very tight and bone-crushing hug. "It's been horrible, just horrible."
Grim groaned as he felt pain from the very tight hug.
"I'm gonna take a guess about who you might be, ma'am." Chrissy spoke up.
"Yes, Nancy Claus at your service." The woman nodded as she kept Grim in her hug.
"It's Mrs. Claus. The Mrs. Claus," Mandy realized in shock. "Then that means-"
"I was right. Santa is real!" Billy beamed. "I think this calls for the Billy Was Right dance." he then added before doing a dance much to Mandy's annoyance.
"Normally, I can't stand Billy, but I think he's earned this." shrugged Chrissy.
"Yes, because apparently the Grim Reaper existing is totally believable, but not the existence of Santa." LJ smirked.
"Nancy... Nancy, calm down!" replied Grim, patting her on the hand. "Calm down and tell us what's going on."
Nancy then suddenly grabbed Grim's face.
"Oh, no! Not again!" Grim complained before being brought into another suffocating hug.
"I think it would be best if you saw for yourselves." Nancy suggested.
"Lead the way, Mrs. Claus." Lynn said as she came back over, looking slightly bruised, but not terribly hurt.
Soon, everyone followed Nancy as Billy continued his dance until he followed them, then found a hook and put his cartoonishly bulbous nose on the hook and smiled.
"Billy, get over here." Grim demanded.
Billy then followed them, still noseless for a few more moments, coming into a dark and mysterious room.
"This is where we keep all of the defective merchandise," Nancy told them as she pointed out to the defected toys. "Charlie in the Boxes, Cannibal Puppets, and that creepy doll whose eyes seem to follow you around the room." she then added as a puppet tried to bite her finger off and the creepy doll's eyes rolled around her head until one eye popped out and rolled around.
"Now this is the kind of Christmas I could get into," remarked Mandy.
LJ rolled his eyes. "You would." he retorted.
Billy's nose then regrew within seconds.
"...I wish I hadn't seen that." commented Mandy.
Finally, Nancy led them over to a gingerbread coffin. "This is where we've been keeping Santa since...since..." she started to sob again. "...THE ACCIDENT! Tinkle, Sprinkle, if you'd both be dears and give me a hand?"
Two elves ran over and helped Mrs. Claus push off the top of the gingerbread coffin.
"An accident?" Chrissy asked.
"An accident is what made it happen... AN ACCIDENT!" Nancy nodded.
"An accident." Lynn, Kimberly, and LJ whispered together.
Soon, the gingerbread coffin and the elves scattered out of the way and soon, a deep wheezing sound could be heard from inside.
"Heh... Tinkle and Sprinkle." Lynn then snickered at the elves for their names.
"Don't be mean." Kimberly pouted at that.
"...Santa?" asked Billy amidst the wheezing noise.
After a few seconds, it was quiet.
"San—" Billy began, before...
"BUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" roared Santa as he emerged from the coffin, looking nothing like the "jolly old elf" he was described as in song and story. Instead, he had massive incisors, sickly blue skin, and razor-sharp nails!
Grim shrieked in horror.
"AY, CHIHUAHUA!" screamed Billy.
Lynn, Kimberly, and Chrissy all flinched and looked disgusted and horrified at the same time.
"I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!" Santa hissed.
"You see, Santa was bitten by a vampire." Nancy revealed to everyone.
"No one tell my sister Lucy; she might get jealous." Lynn warned everyone else.
Santa continued to roar and panted heavily about three times until he stopped, looking worn out as he climbed back into his gingerbread coffin.
"...he's awful lethargic for a vampire." commented LJ.
Nancy sighed. "He always did tire out quickly," she replied.
"Couldn't get the sleigh in the air, huh?" Lynn joked.
LJ snickered.
"Most of the time, yes, in ways I'm not proud of." Nancy nodded.
Lynn and LJ both chuckled at that as Nancy seemed unaware of the innuendo.
"If Santa Claus is a vampire, what does this mean for Christmas?" Kimberly wondered.
"If we don't do something tonight, there won't be a Christmas." Nancy warned gravely as she looked like she was going to cry.
"Oh, uh, hey, there, there, Mrs. Claus, it'll be okay," Chrissy said as she tried to help the woman feel better. "Maybe we could sit down and talk about this over some hot chocolate or something?" she then suggested. "My Aunt Sonata loves a good cup of hot chocolate when she feels holiday blues sometimes."
Nancy sniffled as she wiped her nose. "Thank you, young lady," she said as she followed the others out of the room.
"That sounds like a great idea," LJ acknowledged.
Chrissy beamed, feeling like she did a good job as they went to leave Santa alone for the time being.
"WOW! MOMMY'S KISSING SANTA CLAUS!" A young boy's voice said as they went into the next room.
"Aww... my mom loves this one." LJ beamed, until...
"Good for her, too bad she's not here." Mandy said, turning off the music that came from the radio.
LJ reared up and smacked Mandy in the back of the head before he headed off.
"AUGH!" Mandy yelled out and glared at LJ. "I'm gonna get him for that."
"Whatever, Mandy," Kimberly rolled her eyes as even she was fed up with the blonde girl's behavior. "Would it kill you to be nice and show compassion during this time of year like everyone else in the world?" she then added.
"Actually, yes, it would." Mandy sneered.
"What happened to you anyway?" Kimberly asked. "What made you so unhappy and apathetic about everything?"
"I dunno, what made you think that you could pass off your school science project by saying that the Earth's core was made up of sparkly dust, unicorn dolls, cotton candy, and gumdrops and expect a passing grade?" Mandy retorted.
"Back off!" snapped LJ. "Unless you want some more lumps!"
Mandy glowered and turned away as they soon went to sit down and have some hot chocolate together by the fireplace.