(Chapter 12)
Trauma
I woke up, and could tell that immediately something was off. For some reason, despite being on the plane, it felt like I wasn't supposed to be here. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why.
As we landed, I was ushered out of the plane by what felt like a mysterious force, and my pupils shrunk as soon as I saw him. The very same Houndoom that was capable of striking any sort of fear in my heart in an instant.
"Well well well. I've been waiting for you Gray. Thank you for delivering him as promised Damien."
My pupils shrunk, and I watched as Damien stepped out of the plane, his face devoid of emotion. My worst fear had been realized, and he didn't even acknowledge me as he walked past me to stand behind Avery.
"Of course, Boss."
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and Avery began to laugh.
"You didn't think you could escape me simply by running to another region did you? How cute."
I couldn't do anything but cry silently. Even Nick stood behind me menacingly, a devious smile on his face as I began to sob.
"I have eyes everywhere Kyle, I figured you'd know that by now. Hahaha! You need to come back to reality. Wake up Kyle. Wake up."
I held my head in my arms, it felt like the world was shaking.
"Kyle…wake up. Wake up!"
I looked up and reality started to distort in front of me.
"Wake up! Kyle, Wake up!"
I awoke in a cold sweat, panting loudly. I looked around in a panic, and realized that I wasn't at the airstrip in Lilycove, but in my new home.
Damien was kneeling on the bed next to me, holding my shoulders from having shaken me awake. He gave me a worried look, and sighs when I look at him and calm down.
"Kyle, you were having another nightmare. You're safe, everything is okay."
I feel my chest tightening, before I fall back with a heavy sigh, covering my face. This is actually the third time I've woken up like that this week.
In reality, we did manage to land in the Lilycove Airstrip. Avery was not there, and we were officially home free. It almost felt surreal, having moved into a large manor.
We've actually been here for a couple of weeks now, and despite being able to live comfortably, I was still plagued by nightmares about Avery.
When we actually landed, we were greeted by a Drifblim named Klaus, who had arrived to pick us up. On the ride there, Nick informed me that the person I texted from his phone had responded. He obviously hadn't read it out of respect for my privacy, and I told him it was fine. He handed me his phone, and I read it as we began the drive through the lush countryside of Hoenn.
Thank you, Kyle... For telling me all this. I know you probably kept it from me for my own safety, but I wish I could've done something, anything to help you. I also wish we could've spent more time together before you left, but that couldn't be helped.
I understand you made a new friend, and I'm sorry that I couldn't be the friend you needed either. I realized after we stopped talking that it was wrong of me to try to get you to go to places or do things you didn't particularly enjoy, which is likely why you preferred to spend your time with someone else. I won't say I wasn't jealous, ha.
I felt guilty for pushing you as far as I did when we argued in class, and also that that was the last time we actually spoke. I'm sorry for letting my feelings get the best of me, and I hope you don't think I hated you or anything like that.
But most of all, I'm glad you're safe, and I'm glad you've found the next step to moving on with your life. Be happy, Kyle.
I nearly cried when I read her message. True to her character, she was an amazing and caring friend who, despite my own reservations and poor disposition, tried her best to be there for me. I too hoped she would find happiness and move on with her life.
The ride to our new home was a few hours long, and when we arrived, Klaus directed us to meet our new employer in his study in the library. When we walked in, the room was completely dark. It kind of made me feel like we went from someone bad to someone worse. The only thing we could see were his piercing gold eyes glaring at us in the dark room, and the red markings, akin to Nick's, glistening.
"You two must be Kyle and Damien. I welcome you to my not so humble abode. I do hope you make yourselves comfortable."
He stood up, looked through the blinds in the window, and continued.
"While you're here, you'll be following my rules, and going through many rigorous processes to earn my trust. I hope you're prepared. It won't be easy."
I instinctively stood closer to Damien.
What the hell have we gotten ourselves into?
He turned around and put both his hands on his desk.
"First, you'll be-"
Suddenly, the lights came on, and the pale Zoroark quickly looked behind him, where a Lycanroc in a servant's outfit was giggling behind him, and lifting the blinds.
"Seth I think that's enough, you're gonna make them think they'll be treated as slaves or something haha!"
Seth surprises me by whining and crossing his arms and looking back at the Lycanroc.
"Adam! I wasn't gonna let them think that! But I was hoping I could mess with them a little longer!"
He pouts and looks away as Adam puts a cup of coffee on his desk in front of him. He then kisses his cheek and smiles, making Seth turn slightly red and look away from him.
"Oh relax you big baby haha. You two are Kyle and Damien, yes? I'm Adam, and this is my husband Seth. Don't worry about him, he was only messing with you guys heh. You have my word, you'll be treated well. As long as you guys follow the rules and do your best, you're free to make yourselves at home!"
I relaxed a little. It seemed as though Adam was being genuine, so I decided I'd try not to be paranoid.
He looks down at Seth, who was still pouting, and smiles at him.
"Oh stop pouting haha. You should show them to their room! I'm sure they're tired after their ride here from Lilycove."
He smiles at us before leaving the study, and Seth nods in agreement.
"Alrighty, follow me!"
He leaves the study slowly, and Damien and I follow behind him after exchanging glances. Adam stops us as we leave the study, and gives us another smile.
"Don't worry, Seth may seem a little strange at first, but I promise he has your best interests at heart at the end of it all. Have a good rest today, okay? I'll show you both around tomorrow."
We both nod, and follow Seth downstairs to the apparently refurbished "servant's quarters".
I was expecting a room full of beds and a community bathroom or something, but I put that in quotations because it was really just a single large room that looked like it was recently decorated, with two large beds, a fancy dresser, a television, and its own walk in closet that had a few uniforms in there already. Seth smiled as we looked around, and stood in the door frame.
"Well, I hope you both enjoy your stay. I'll admit we were a little excited to take you both in, Adam and I wanted to make you both as comfortable as possible, so we decorated a little before you got here heh. Have a good rest!"
He leaves, closing the door behind him.
Damien and I look at each other once more… and pass out immediately in our beds. After the work shift of a plane ride, and the multiple hour long journey through Hoenn to get here, we were both completely drained.
The next day, we were shown around by Adam, and the Drifblim from before, Klaus.
We see the first floor, with the Foyer, the dining room and kitchen where we met the Chef, a Sneasel named Howie, the living room with Seth's massive gaming collection, and the entrance to the back garden.
On the second floor was the main bathroom, Adam's old room, his and Seth's new room, Seth's work study and the library, a bunch of other empty guest rooms, and finally, our supply closet.
We were told that we'd be given our tasks for the day every morning by Klaus, and that we were more than welcome to do them together if we liked.
We were then brought back to our rooms. Klaus floated beside Adam in the doorway.
"Ah, we finished our tour right on time for lunch. If you two are hungry, feel free to reconvene in the dining room, I'll prepare two extra place settings."
Klaus floats away, and Adam smiles before turning to leave as well.
"You guys can relax the rest of the day, we'll get you both started tomorrow. Feel free to explore a little more, or rest here if you'd like, whatever you guys want!"
He nods with a smile before leaving, finally giving Damien and I some time alone. Damien sits on the bed next to me.
"How have you been feeling?"
I sigh, we've hardly spoken since this all started, and despite being alone for a majority of it, it feels like this is the first time we've actually gotten the chance to speak to each other.
"I'm fine…for the most part. Honestly this feels super weird. Just last week we were in Castelia City, rationing our food and taking turns sleeping just to make sure we weren't caught. And now…"
I get up and look out of the window and into the open sky.
"We're finally free… After all this time, I'm finally free Damien. I have you to thank for that, and Nick of course. And I'm more than grateful to Adam and Seth for letting us into their home… I'm…okay actually! I'm okay. This is still a little surreal, but this is gonna be an adjustment for me."
I look back towards Damien with a small smile. It's the first time I felt as though I was able to smile genuinely. I couldn't help but feel like something was off, however.
Maybe this is all a little too good to be true… in the span of a few weeks I'd gone from being trapped to a new home, a new job…
Damien appeared content with what I said, but I'm sure he could tell how I was feeling as well.
"I understand. Please feel free to talk to me about anything, alright Kyle?"
I nod, and lie back down, allowing myself to relax for a bit.
Over the next couple of weeks, we'd gotten adjusted to working for a few hours a day, and just generally getting used to our new home. There wasn't too much to do, usually Adam and Klaus did most of it, and forbade us from helping them with their own self assigned chores. We would play games with Seth, who actually told us several times that he enjoyed having more people to have fun with, we were allowed to help Klaus in the garden, and we would help Adam set the table for each meal. It was actually very impressive how much Adam and Klaus were able to accomplish on their own. The entire house was nearly spotless, not just due to the fact that only four people stayed there, but everything was clean and polished, no dust anywhere, every plant in the house was watered.
We got to know Adam, Seth, and Klaus very well, and Howie, to an extent since he never left his kitchen and no one was allowed in there.
Adam was very sweet, and caring. He was super accommodating, and often reassured us that we didn't need to overwork ourselves because whatever we didn't or couldn't do, he or Klaus would take care of. We always strived to finish our work despite that, which he seemed to appreciate. He would often ask me how I was feeling, or if I needed anything, and even if I was happy there. He seemed genuinely concerned for me, and I grew to enjoy his company. Damien said he was most likely the one who kept Seth in check.
Speaking of Seth, I've never met someone so carefree and goofy. I had asked him why Adam still helped with chores and general upkeep around the house despite the two of them being married, and he said Adam was actually a servant when they met, and Adam was very stubborn when it came to doing his part. He helped out while he was going to school, and even when he started his volunteer work at his old school. Seth always spoke highly of Adam, and I could tell he loved him very much. Beneath that carefree and playful demeanor was someone who cared a lot about those around him.
And finally, Klaus and Howie. Despite us being servants working under him, he still called us Mister Briar and Mister Glint, out of pure politeness. He also referred to Adam as Master Stonehide, and Seth as Master Seth, though Adam usually tells him to just call him Adam. Klaus was very precise with his work, and was patient with us when adjusting to our chores as well. He wouldn't scold us for any errors, nor would he punish us for mistakes, he would correct us, and politely tell us how to fix it the next time.
Overall, I felt very welcome in their home, and despite thinking it was too soon to call it my home, I was growing comfortable.
The only issue now was the recurring nightmare. It usually went like this: Where we had gotten off the plane, Lilycove City, Avery was there… waiting. Waiting to take me back to that hellhole he kept me in, waiting to rip away all of my hopes and dreams. It wasn't always the same nightmare either. There were times where I'd dream that he was waiting for me in Seth's manor, and would drag me back out as soon as I arrived, or that he would come knocking on the front door, having all of his goons with him. Damien would admit to telling him how to find me, or betray me somehow in each one. It was very stressful. I didn't let it affect my work, but I could tell it was starting to get to me mentally.
I began to grow paranoid. Whenever I heard a knock on the door, my heart would race out of fear that it was Avery coming to finally take me back with him. It made it hard to relax at times, as the slightest noise or touch would cause me to panic. Obviously no one else knew, besides Damien of course. He was the one who'd woken me out of those nightmares every time they happened, and I could tell he was worried about me. I didn't want to tell him that in each variation of the nightmare, he betrayed me for Avery every single time, but I know there was no use keeping it from him. This was especially the case since it was making me slightly wary of him. I dreaded the look on his face when I eventually told him. I trusted Damien with my life, but the mere thought alone of him being in contact with Avery somehow, and leading him right to me. Or even letting me be comfortable enough for me to lower my guard, just for Avery to swoop the moment I do… It made me very cautious around him, to say the least. To add insult to injury, I felt guilty for doing so, because I knew it couldn't have felt good for him to know that, and I knew that he would never do something like that to me.
As for my most recent nightmare escapades, Damien stared at me, trying to assess if I were okay.
"Would you like me to ask Adam if you can take today off?"
I shook my head and sighed, getting out of bed.
"N-no no, it's fine. I'm fine. I'll be okay. Thank you Damien."
His continued stare told me he didn't believe me, but he pushed no further. We went through the better half of our day getting our work done with little to no issues. Things took a bit of a turn when Seth had tasked us with organizing the cupboard in Howie's kitchen. The Sneasel was anything but happy about that assignment, but he knew it needed to be done, so he let it slide.
As we were about to start organizing, I went to pull some ingredients off of the shelves, only for the entire shelf, the entire cupboard full of ingredients and cookware, to come flying off of the shelves and collapse around me, though avoiding me completely.
Damien watched as I cowered, the loud sounds and crashes of the pots and pans reminding me of the harsh city, and all of the memories associated with it came flashing at me at once. The fear, the hopelessness, the anxiety, the pain, the secrets. My heart began to beat rapidly as it all came back at once, and I hugged my knees, having a massive panic attack. I couldn't bring myself to move, tears flooding from my eyes, and Seth's laughter echoed around the kitchen before coming to a stop upon witnessing my condition.
Damien puts a paw on my shoulder and tries to help me stand, but I wouldn't…couldn't budge.
"Kyle!? Kyle, it's okay!"
I hugged my knees tighter, his words falling upon deaf ears.
"I don't want to go back… I can't go back…"
The world started to shift around me, and I could only hear the words spoken around me. Even as the cupboard and all the items on the floor returned to their rightful places, proving that it was only an illusion, I couldn't find the willpower to stand.
"Kyle I'm sorry … I was just messing around really, everything's alright … I-"
"It's okay. You didn't know this would happen. I only ask that you let us retire to our room until he calms down. We'll explain things then."
"Yes of course. Take all the time you need. Please understand I didn't mean for this to happen…"
Damien effortlessly picked me up, and carried me to my bed. He laid with me, and refused to let me go until I told him I was fine, and meant it. There was something about being held close to him, something about him being there with me that helped me feel safe, and secure. It rarely happened, in fact it didn't start until my first experience with these nightmares. I'd woken up crying hysterically, and Damien was there to calm me down. He held me tight against him without saying anything, and the warmth calmed me down in no time.
He eventually let me go, but didn't move, allowing me to fully relax and calm down. After a while there was a knock on our door. Damien got up to open it, and Seth and Adam were there, worried looks plastered on both of their faces.
"Is it alright for us to come in?"
Damien nods, and steps aside, allowing them to walk in before he returns to my side at the bed.
Seth immediately bows his head and claps his hands together apologetically.
"Kyle, I'm genuinely sorry for causing that reaction in you, I… I was just trying to mess around, I promise I'll never-"
"Um… it's okay. It's safe to say neither of us knew that would happen. I know you were just messing around, and that little prank wasn't bad at all. I just…"
Adam could sense that I was struggling getting my point across. There was clearly something going on with me.
"When Nick asked us if you two could stay here, he didn't give us any major details, only that you guys were trying to get out of a rough situation, and that you needed a place to stay that was far away from where you were. We want to help you both be happy and feel comfortable here, but to do so we need to understand exactly what happened to you. If you're comfortable enough to talk about it that is. We can give you more time if need be."
Damien and I exchange looks, and come to a mutual understanding. Damien speaks first.
"No, not at all. Allow me to start from the beginning."
And he does. He starts with how he knew Nick growing up in Icirrus in Unova, Nick and Seth's hometown, how he went to Breeze City to start a new life, and how he began to work for Avery. It's where he met me, Kyle, who went by Gray at the time.
I continued from where he left off, telling them both how I met Avery in my hometown. We began to date, but I realized he wasn't who I thought he was, and tried to leave him, but he threatened my livelihood. I told them about how he would verbally, emotionally, and sexually abuse me, the look of horror on Adam's face was unforgettable.
I went over how Damien and I met working under Avery. I was working to pay off the ridiculous debt he tried to hold over me, and Damien was working to make ends meet.
"I was also going to school so I could make some sort of future for myself when I eventually did escape somehow. But of course, that was wishful thinking. After suffering with him for years, Damien finally helped me escape to Castelia City, where he happened to meet Nick. The rest is history."
Adam and Seth were both very attentive when listening to us. It was reassuring that they both had sympathetic looks on their faces, and not looks of disgust or repulse.
"And ever since we settled down here… I've been having nightmares about him. Having nightmares that he's somehow going to find me and take me back to Breeze City…"
I look over at Damien, who appears concerned. He knows what I've left out about the nightmares, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. Not in front of them, not in front of him again.
Adam and Seth exchange glances and appear pensive. They're very obviously stunned, but Adam nods and looks at me with a comforting smile.
"I see… that's all a bit much to take in at once. But nevertheless, while I'm not sure what we can do to help you feel safe Kyle, we'll definitely do our best to help you remain comfortable."
I was surprised by Adam's kindness, and looked back and forth between him and Seth.
"You guys are… really going to let us stay here despite everything we just told you? Despite knowing you're in potential danger?"
Seth nods, smiling reassuringly.
"Of course! We would never turn anyone away knowing they need help. None of us can really say for sure if this "Avery" is trying to find you, but the odds of him doing so are very slim. All you can do is trust that you're safe with us Kyle, and maybe take your mind off of things. If worst comes to worst, we'll find you some help! Don't worry Kyle, we'd never leave you to fend for yourself in a situation like this. You're always welcome here."
Damien seems to relax slightly. Part of the reason we hadn't told them is because we didn't want them to worry too much about us, or cast us out because of even the slight possibility of Avery finding us and likely killing everyone here, or worse. He smiles softly at the two of them, and nods in response.
"That's very nice of you both. We genuinely appreciate your kindness."
Adam chuckles as he and Seth stand, heading towards the door.
"Nothing to it! You guys are members of our family. We'll do everything we can to help you."
He and Seth exit, leaving Damien and I alone. I hug my knees on the bed, and sigh. My heart had finally slowed to its normal place. Damien stayed next to me, and when we made eye contact, I could tell he wanted to say something.
"Kyle…there's something I want to ask you."
Called it.
I answer without looking at him.
"Yeah?"
The momentary silence felt like it lasted millennia. I was worried about what he had to say, or what he had to ask.
"Do you…distrust me?"
My pupils shrunk and I looked up at him. For the first time since I met him, he had a pained look on his face. It made my chest tighten in a way I can't describe. He hadn't spoken about it since I told him about our nightmares, and from the face he was making, I could tell it was on his mind for a long time. I was willing to bet he wanted to ask me about it for a while, but he was being sensitive about how I was feeling... I was also hoping to avoid talking about it as well.
"I don't distrust you…it's just…been difficult, you know? Being on my own for so long. Everyone I knew was working for Avery or was working with him somehow. I wasn't sure if you were just another one of his workers who he assigned to watch me, and… the entire time we were on the run, I was sure he would show up at some point.
I wouldn't have put it past him to have someone burrow their way into my life and earn my trust. Make me think that I had someone I could rely on and care about me. Someone to give me hope in a hopeless situation. Only for it to be taken away when I let my guard down, and for him to swoop in and laugh at me, and remind me that he was in control… So it's not so much that I didn't trust you… I was just… afraid of him…"
I looked up at him, and his face of pain had turned into one of understanding and worry. I rested my chin on my knees and looked away.
"I guess I still am…"
Damien nods and lays down, looking up at the ceiling.
"Well, I hope you know that I'd never do something like that to you. I- I've been more than happy to help you, and even happier now that you're safe, though I don't show it. I'm sorry."
I sat up and looked down at him. I should've known I wasn't the only one with things still on my mind. I felt a little selfish, only thinking about my own headspace this entire time. Damien must have had some troubles as well, and I know having him worry about me all the time couldn't have been helping.
"N-no! You shouldn't be sorry. You've done nothing but be supportive and caring for me since we've met. I should be the one who's sorry for always making you worry and adding to your stress. And…I feel guilty that I let my fear of Avery build a subconscious mistrust for you, but I… I know more than anything that you're the one person I can rely on…and I hope you know you can rely on me too."
He sits back up with a smile, and goes to speak, but before he can, I lean forward and give him a tight hug. I let myself go a little, wrapping my arms around him and embracing his warmth. I didn't realize it at the time, but something was ignited in me at that moment. I had taken my first step into crossing an unspoken boundary between us.
He was clearly shocked, as it took him a moment to return the hug. I looked up at him and gave him a serious look.
"I don't want you to worry about me anymore okay? We're going to be alright. I'll take up Seth's offer of finding me some help, and we can… we can get through this together, just like we always have."
I couldn't explain the face he was making. His eyes were glossy, but he kept his serious disposition. I almost thought I could see a slight red tint on his cheeks, but figured I was seeing things.
"I'm… glad that you trust me. I've always prioritized your safety because I…I care about you."
I smile, as it was nice to hear it from him. I'd heard him say it before, but hearing it despite him knowing about my nightmares was relieving to say the least. I felt a strange yet warming feeling in my chest.
"Thank you Damien, I care about you too."
He actually returns the hug, something I didn't expect, which caused the warm feeling to envelope me. I lean against him, feeling safe in his arms.