He was a liar. The dirtiest filthiest liar. But that wasn't an entirely bad thing. Couldn't a great liar just as easily be seen as a great actor? Where was the stage in the apocalypse? Wherever you wanted it to be.
And right now that stage was his bedroom. Centerstage. He had to reprimand the stage crew for leaving the set in such disarray. Socks and books strewn about made his character messier than he really was. Also, he'd have to fire the script writer. Who the hell wrote in a chance encounter with his girlfriend, walking her calloused and warm hand into bed only to realize what he had done some odd hours later? Whoever turned this bonding moment into a full-fledged family affair really was trying to make Louis break character.
He wasn't proud of the times he has been vulnerable in front of Clementine. The truth was bigger than him. The situations were grave and cruel. He really had no choice. He had to open himself to her. And was relieved when the moments passed. Louis had been quite sheltered despite, you know, the nightmare they were living in. He was in a school. A school of delinquents sure. They had chided each other about their crimes before. Then, it became inconsequential in the face of loss and the will to live. Yes, he had gained a lot from his vulnerability with Clementine. But he hated it. He had no need to open his inner world for years. In fact, it got in the way of survival. And fun. Louis realized he rather liked to keep himself, all to himself. The private parts anyway.
But Clementine had been . . kinder to him than anyone he had ever known. How was she able to tear away the weeds inside of him when he hadn't even known there was a garden? In her presence he remembered he had to grow, not survive. She was the catalyst.
The color of her eyes were beautiful. Fixing on neither brown or hazel, they were warm and transfixing. Her life was rough but her face soft, a bit round and the way she held his story, tender. Clementine used actions more than words, but that made her few sentences no less soothing. She was a woman of action. To be kissed after confessing one's greatest transgressions . . . was love.
So,
Yes. He may have oh so gallantly laid AJ and his girlfriend into his bed to sleep. And yes, he was sleeping. Sleeping before his bladder so rudely woke him up from it. And in his stroll from the bathroom, he dreamed he had dragged a curly haired beauty into his room and she had begged, begged . . . okay more like insisted, to spend the night with him. And their kid. Whoops, AJ! His little buddy.
Yes. All of that can be true while also him now being ram rod awake can be true too. As soon as his body hit the bed he realized she was there. Yes, a cute kid between them but still! Clementine in his room goddamit in his bed, at night!
Internally he was having a fit. He wasn't going to get any sleep or get any woman tonight. That was a fact. No wonder they don't let girls into boys' rooms
. . . . . . . . .
The world was made of pillows. Had to be. Because neither dreaming or reality had ever made her feel safe. Somewhere between bumping Louis's head and laying in his sheets, they had flown to a world where everything was terrible in the best of ways. Terribly soft, terribly safe and terribly lovely.
Being with the two people she loved most in the world pleased her to the bone. She may not have identified as a mother, yet the maternal pride was spinning in her body like a ferris wheel on holiday. This immense love reminded her of her parents when she was a child. Clementine remembered the past fondly for once. Maybe that was because she was able to provide for AJ in the way her parents did for her, and Lee had too. That she had someone to protect AJ with. A man. A partner. A father figurer for her son. . . . almost son.
She was too happy to sleep. Funny how that works. If she couldn't sleep before it was for the ugliest of reasons. Now, it was the total opposite.
-o-
The sun still had its sleeping cap on, bundled up on the other side of the world. The dew appeared on the lawn before AJ could smell it. The season was changing. Or perhaps it had already changed. AJ had been waking up easily. Clem assured him there was no need to burst awake as if his life depended on it. The warmth of the bodies beside his soporific mind did not dull him. Today, he broke the tension of the bed like a whale breaking the surface tension of the sea.
"AJ? What's wrong, are you okay?". Clem sat up rubbing her eyes.
"Wha wha-?!" Louis woke up a hair later, looking left and right "Are we under attack?!"
"What?" AJ & Clem questioned simultaneously
"No we're fi-", Clem's explanation was cut off by Louis's scrambling. He fell off the bed then crawled around his room chanting the name of his trusted weapon. AJ giggled. His giggling was contagious. Clem hugged the boy, resting her head on top of AJ's as the pair enjoyed Louis's antics.
Louis stopped. He scrunched his nose and seemed to have fully awakened. He mock angrily asked "What's so funny?".
AJ laughed heartily in response. His head rearing back and forth Clementine looked at the goofball finding laughter escaping her throat too. The pair laughed, and laughed. Louis smiled, pride welling in his chest.
"Yeah yeah, yuck it up you two. Just know it was me! Louis the Great who was going to save you from the, the . . .?".
"What?", Clementine wheezed in laughter. "The floor?". This sent AJ flying. He was rolling on the bed to simultaneously suppress and release his fit of laughter. Clementine was laughing louder and heartier than usual. Louis had made both of them laugh, daily. What made this laugh so bone-deep was this new intimacy. Only with the ones you love most could you soar on the wings of laughter like this. Only in community. Only with family.
Clementine snuck a glance at Louis through her laughter. He was beaming. His eyes creased. He looked wizened and proud. This look of his shot the laugher out of her chest and replaced it with the roar of her heartbeat. Her mouth dropped and she looked at him longingly, not fully herself either but not as obviously as Louis. She realized that she was staring.
"Clem? Clementiiine?". AJ sing-songed. She snapped back and looked at her greatest friend in the world.
"You were being really weird for a second". AJ remarked.
"Well Goofball, I am just waking up". She reproached, playfully nudging him with her shoulder.
"Yeah and she was stupefied by the best leg in the house". Having acquired Chairles, Louis taps his weapon in his hand like a gladiator in the ring.
AJ mirrors the word stupefied quietly to himself and Clem retorts,
"Watch out Louis. I might get jealous and take Chairles for myself".
"Yeah!" AJ beamed as if struck by inspiration, "It would make a great new leg cuz it could second as a weapon! That's so cool".
"You're right about that little guy". Louis agreed. "Chairles is very precious to me but, if it meant protecting Clem, or you, I'd give up anything". The tone shifted. Louis leveled a serious look at them both. "Anything". He repeated. For Clementine, this oath made her heart shudder. Her eyes blinked back rapidly formed tears. Her heart dared to shoot out her mouth and on the floor in the same fashion as Louis did moments before. She stopped its escape by palming her chest, with only the blush on her cheeks to show her inner turmoil.
AJ's response was just as strong just, expressed differently. He ran up to Louis and hugged his legs. Louis placed Chairles down before the little Hercules pinned his legs in a loving embrace. Which was wise. Louis wobbled side to side trying to find balance in a sweet albeit awkward, position for himself.
AJ let go and pumped his fists in determination. "I'm going to protect you two too. Everyone at Ericsson!". AJ, like Clem, was ordered to take his shoes off in order to sleep in Louis's bed. AJ sat by the door and put his shoes on,
"I'll be on patrol guys, if you need me, you know where to find me. I am going to get stronger and stronger. I will protect our home from any danger that comes our way".
"AJ" Clem's voice came in soft, because of the laugher followed by the declarations of protection. To protect her. How often had she looked the maiden but played the hero? The knight even? The dragon even more? All the roles were difficult to play and worst of all, none were ever a game. Finding footing in her new body was more than just learning to walk with one leg. It was also being forced to walk away from the role she had been forced to play since Lee had . . . she killed. So much force. So much suffering. So when the words came out of her like the snowflakes getting carried by the wind. She said them for herself, as well as her AJ.
"You don't have to be so alert anymore. We are here now. You're safe. You can rest AJ. You can rest".
"No Clem". AJ said sharply. Clem recoiled. Louis scratched his head, finna break the sudden tension with something tasteful. Before he could think of something AJ walked over to Clem, grabbed her hand, and looked at her with such love.
"You can rest Clem. We will take care of you now. I promise you that". Tears began to wet her eyes. She was awake. And her grogginess wasn't great enough to quell her emotions anymore. AJ, turning into such a little man. She had full faith he would protect her, because he already had. AJ delicately pulled his hand out from hers, steadily holding her gaze. Her emotions did not still him, they empowered him. He jogged backwards before spinning in the doorframe
"I'm going on patrol! See you two at breakfast". And like that, AJ darted down the unlit hallway through the school until his little feet could be heard scuffing outside of Louis's window.
Clem was crying. Her tears falling steadily. Long tears. Hot. They would make an excellent broth. And here she was wasting them, is how it felt. Louis hurried to her side. Making comforting cooing sounds alongside chanting
"No, no, no, no, no, nooo. What happened? Are you okay?". He sat beside her on the bed, pulled her into his arms so she could hide herself in his embrace.
She cried for a while. Silent. Everything about her silent. Letting only a few wracking exhalations tip toe around the room. She relished Louis's timbre and prattling queries. She felt hen-pecked by his words and loved it. He wasn't loud, but he was making sound. His confidence in being heard relaxed her and gave her the courage to admit, with a rib-wracking exhalation,
"He's growing up so fast. And he's" she lifted herself from Louis to wipe her nose on her sleeve. She was going to stop crying. Put an end to the pampering by looking Louis straight in the eyes and finishing her sentence. "He-he?". She sobbed. Louis's brows furrowed. A worried ridge set in his forehead. It looked like a chocolate ocean wave. And with the thought of water in her mind of course it would continue to fall from her face. Louis's sympathy was so ample.
"He's so good". She finally said it. Louis held her. He held Clementine like he had last night. She cried for a short while. Purged of the sobs, and left in their aftershocks her mind floated to something else entirely. Especially since her body was ensconced in a very stimulating man. Louis was no mind reader. He rubbed her back soothingly. Minding her sorrow. He continued prattling on his sweet nothings. To Clementine, they were sweet somethings. She remembered how he held her last night. So chaste. She had pressed her chest against him, yet he hadn't even tried to touch her there. He was centrally focused on a . . . certain, part of her body.
And after that. She felt like a teenager, a regular teenager when he stole her hand and whisked her down the hall. He could have taken her anywhere. And he took her where she most wanted to be in the entire world. His room had dozens more pillows than hers, and she had thought her bed yesterday morning was decadent. . . There were certain things one could not do in the presence of a child. Only the lowest scum would attempt that harm against a child. And now AJ had went on his mission, Clementine had cried. Louis was jacket-less in pants much softer than those he strolled around in
Clementine looked at the chocolate waves worrying his face.
What did chocolate taste like again? In the empty expanses of her journey, she had asked herself such questions to pass time. And now that she had some in her hands, she had to taste.