Dallas, Texas

March 1978

Doctor Danvers didn't know what he was talking about. It was perfectly normal to want to lose the baby weight; she'd just done it instead of talking about doing it. It was also perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes, after all, it wasn't every day a new person was forced into one's life without any real preparation. It was perfectly normal too for a woman not to want to be consumed by motherhood. Doctor Danvers perspective was just old-fashioned.

Doctor Danvers was concerned she was still experiencing baby blues a month postpartum. It sounded like Miss Ellie had had a word in his ear about it, but as Sue Ellen had told Miss Ellie, she was fine. Everyone else took great care of the baby, so she didn't need to do much herself. That didn't mean there was something wrong with her. Doctor Danvers could mind his own business.

For that matter, Doctor Lewis could mind his own business too; the man had had the nerve to suggest that being a month postpartum and completely disinterested in intimacy or discussions of more children was unusual. Her body had been through hell and back, and she was just now beginning to look like herself again. Feeling like herself was another matter entirely. It would be a long, long time before she willingly put herself in a situation like the one she had just survived.

Based on those experiences, unless she was dying, she wouldn't be setting foot in a clinic again for a long time.

Work had become more hectic than usual over the last week or so, naturally leading to early mornings and late nights. As a consequence, Jock had completely lost track of who was doing what and when, and when he received a call from his contact at the lab, he could barely think straight.

Sue Ellen had been in for her annual physical, JR had been in for his, but there was no sample for John Ross. Without that, they had nothing to compare.

When he casually raised the subject at dinner, his wife informed him she'd taken little John to the paediatrician at Braddock County Hospital, which baffled him. Doctor Danvers had been their family doctor for years, and he'd been counting on the newest Ewing attending his practice too. There was some explanation about the convenience of Braddock, but he wasn't really listening; his mind was already on what to do next.

After a decade of having Sue Ellen's slim body beside him at night, JR had had to adapt to how she felt in his arms when she was expecting, and he had, happily. In a very short time, she'd changed again, birth automatically rid her of several pounds, her low mood and appetite responsible for the remaining weight. Now, what had once felt familiar felt foreign to him.

The weight loss had eased her back and hip aches, so she no longer needed him to massage her, and when he tried to affectionately, she wasn't interested, leaving him feeling rejected. For many months, she'd wanted no one but him. Now, she wanted no one at all, including him.

"Happy birthday, darlin'."

"Thank you."

Sitting up in bed to accept the breakfast tray JR was holding, Sue Ellen noticed the stack of wrapped gifts on her nightstand. Her heart leapt for the first time in a long while, but when Miss Ellie walked in carrying the baby, it sank again.

For her thirtieth birthday, she'd wanted her husband to seriously consider having children. For her thirty-first birthday, she wanted nothing of the sort. This time last year, she'd been desperate for what she had now, and in hindsight, she wondered if it had been worth it.

The baby was pleasant enough, but she had no great fondness for him, something she thought she was probably supposed to feel guilty about. However, considering she didn't feel much of anything lately, guilt crossed her mind as only a word, one that might as well have been in a different language given how foreign the emotion felt.

"There's someone here who'd also like to say happy birthday."

Miss Ellie tried hard, and her effort probably came from a good place, but it was wasted on her. Sue Ellen would have much rather avoided putting on a show first thing in the morning and actually enjoyed her birthday breakfast. But a smile and open arms were what was expected, so she reluctantly gave them.

Returning inside after finding himself alone at the breakfast table, Lucy had disappeared out the door with little more than a dry slice of toast, Jock was quite surprised to find his family gathered in JR and Sue Ellen's bedroom, enjoying an impromptu birthday party.

Sue Ellen, dressed in just her nightgown and loosely draped robe, was an image he hadn't quite expected. While he'd seen her that way before, he hadn't seen her so thin in a long time. Thin was the second thing he noticed about her, the first was the absolute misery on her face.

With John Ross resting on her lap, one hand keeping him steady, the other on her coffee mug, her eyes were glassy, and her smile was straight out of a pageant, held in place far longer and more steadily than was natural. She was trying hard to look put together, but as far as he was concerned, she was failing.

The fact that she wasn't bonding with John Ross was a concern, though that could wait to be addressed another day. As sad as it was, the certainty he felt about her lack of maternal interest gave him an idea about how to get what he wanted.