Chapter Eleven: The Plan

A/N: This one ran away with me a little, so it's a nice long one for you all. Please let me know if you enjoy it if you have the time to do so.

The next two days with Potter staying in his quarters went rather smoothly, much to Severus' complete and utter disbelief. The boy seemed content with reading and never once complained about being bored, he took his potions obediently and ate everything that was put in front of him. He had allowed him downstairs to watch him brew for an hour or so each afternoon and he never made a peep, didn't distract Severus at all from his brewing to the point that he almost even forgot the boy was there.

It was certainly not how he had thought bringing the boy back with him was going to go, but he wasn't going to complain about the boy's surprising ability to behave himself. He wasn't sure how much progress he had made in earning the boy's trust, but by the third day there were a few signs that perhaps it was going in the right direction.

He didn't seem to startle as easily when Severus came back upstairs unexpectedly, a far cry from the first day when he had just about jumped out of his skin each time he emerged from his laboratory. Severus had experimented with using his wand for very small tasks while brewing such as stirring or changing the temperatures of his cauldrons, and while it did seem to startle Potter each time he did it as long as it was fairly quick the boy didn't go into a full on panic and didn't require a calming potion. That was positive, Severus supposed, although it would take a lot more than that to convince him to stay in the castle for the rest of the summer.

Severus had not tried to discuss anything further with Potter yet but having reached the four hour interval it wouldn't be long until Potter expected to go home. He wasn't entirely sure what Albus' plan was to convince him to stay, the headmaster hadn't visited even once since Potter had been here. Perhaps he was trying to give him space to settle in and get used to one thing at a time, or perhaps he was rethinking his approach with the boy and how to address Potter's lack of trust in him. Severus hoped it was the latter.

He returned up the stairs after finishing brewing Potter's next dose, finding the boy sitting and reading quietly as he often was. He was curious to see that the boy was now reading 'Hogwarts, a history.' having run out of first year potions textbooks, perhaps that was another sign of a step in the right direction.

"Potter." He said, holding out the potion. "Your next dose."

"Thank you, Sir." The boy took the potion carefully, handing back the empty vial afterwards. He was looking at Severus with an odd expression on his face, like he wanted to say something but was second guessing himself. Severus waited a moment to see if the boy would ask whatever it was on his own, but became impatient when the boy said nothing.

"What, Potter?" The boy jumped slightly, eyes widening. "What were you going to say?" He tried to even his tone a little, judging by the boy's reaction he had been too harsh at first. It was like walking around eggshells talking to Potter and he had to grit his teeth and remind himself that steps backwards however small would only make the whole process longer.

"I…" He started, trailing off nervously. "It's not important." He mumbled, looking down at his hands.

Severus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose briefly to stop himself from snapping at the boy. "You will not get in trouble for asking questions." He said finally, keeping his tone neutral. As frustrating as he found Potter's lack of confidence it was easier to not let it get to him now that he knew it was likely a result of how his relatives had probably treated him all his life.

Severus had rarely risked asking questions of his own father when he was a child, the few times he did it never ended well. The boy in front of him sometimes acted weak and pathetic, but Severus supposed he had once been the same. He had then gone to Hogwarts and been mercilessly bullied by Potter's father of all people, but it didn't take long to learn to stand up for himself once he was out of his own father's reach. James Potter and his friends had been nasty and vicious, but he had become stronger because of it. And Lily…well, she had been instrumental in showing him that there were people in the world that could be trusted after all.

He banished those thoughts as quickly as they came, not wanting to dwell on Lily while her son was sitting in front of him, staring at him like a complete dunderhead.

"Well?" He prompted again, keeping the pressure off but making it clear he expected an answer.

"I…" Potter tried again, swallowing quickly. "I was just wondering when I can go back home." He got out finally, looking relieved when he managed to finish his sentence

Severus frowned, he had hoped to have another conversation with Dumbledore before speaking to Potter about this but now he supposed there was nothing for it. He had just all but forced the boy to ask his question, he couldn't now refuse to answer it.

"That depends." He said simply, raising an eyebrow. "Do you still want to go back?"

Potter hesitated for just a second, but nodded. "Yes." Despite the affirmative answer, his tone sounded uncertain.

Severus' eyes narrowed slightly. "Have you been safe and unharmed here?" He asked simply, causing the boy to nod his head cautiously. "Have you been fed regularly?" Another nod. "Is your health improving with your doses back on a regular schedule?"

"Yes, sir." He said softly. "Thank you, sir." He added hastily, clearly unsure where Severus was going with this line of questioning.

"I am not looking for a thank you, Potter." He sighed. "I am merely wondering why you would want to return to your relatives when none of those things could be said for them."

Potter's eyes widened and he began to shake his head in denial. "No sir," he said nervously. "You've got it all wrong. They take good care of me, I promise." His words were earnest but Severus didn't believe them for one second. His rapidly increasing heart rate and quickening breath told another story as anxiety seemed to flood in.

"Have I?" Severus sighed. "You can say whatever you like to me Potter, but you won't convince me otherwise. I know the signs of abuse and neglect and you've been showing all of them since the day you arrived." Perhaps that was the wrong thing to say, as the boy seemed to be getting more and more anxious.

"It's not true." He whispered, now gasping slightly. "It isn't."

"Calm, Potter." He said firmly, meeting the boy's terrified gaze. "I will not ask you to speak about it." The boy blinked quickly, not understanding. "I can see that it is making you anxious. Would you like a calming potion?" Potter hesitated for a moment, but shook his head slowly.

"No." He whispered, trying to calm his breathing. "I don't like feeling so…" he trailed off but Severus could guess what he was going to say. The feeling of being under a calming potion could be quite off putting when your mind was trying to panic, it was a heavy, sedating feeling. You were relaxed but it wasn't natural and it felt like everything was beyond your control. The boy was likely afraid of being questioned under it and not feeling in control of what he might say. It was far too easy to say something you might regret when you were under the influence of a calming potion and unable to worry about the consequences.

He said nothing for a long minute as the boy seemed to regain his breath. "Are you okay, Potter?" He said finally.

The boy nodded slowly. "Yes. Sorry Sir."

"No need to apologise." Severus gritted his teeth, the annoying habit the boy had of constantly apologising for absolutely anything and everything would probably take much longer to break. It was irritating, but he couldn't let the boy feel like it was making him angry.

"Yes, Sir." He said quietly.

"Good." Severus nodded. "We can address the topic of you going home again tomorrow, with the headmaster. Is there anything else you would like to ask?"

"No, sir." The boy said automatically, before hesitating slightly. "Well…" He glanced up and seeing Severus' even gaze appearing unbothered, he seemed to find the courage to continue. "I was just wondering, did you know me before?" He asked finally, his voice wavering just slightly. "Before I lost my memories, I mean."

"Yes." Severus said simply. "Why do you ask?"

"I just…" He swallowed nervously. "Everyone else I've met has told me about how I was before. They told me how much they loved me and all these incredible thighs I did. It doesn't really sound like me." He admitted. "Harry Potter sounds like someone who was really brave and strong and had lots of friends. I'm just me, Harry. I've never had any friends at all." He shrugged, looking defeated. "I guess I just mean…" He paused again and Severus fought the urge to hurry him up yet again. "Do you think I was really like that? Or is this what I'm really like." The last part was barely a whisper, he seemed to have lost most of his was the most Potter had spoke since St. Mungos, before he had become so suspicious of everyone around him the longer he was there. While it was a positive sign that he was speaking more now, he didn't really know what a satisfactory answer would be.

"I couldn't say." He said slowly, he didn't think the boy would appreciate hearing how much of an arrogant brat the other Potter had been, and telling him about how insufferable he had found him was not likely to help with gaining his trust.

"You were…quite different to how you are now, yes. Certainly more confident. Louder." He said dryly.

"Oh." The boy whispered, seeming disappointed. "Do you think…" He was still very slow with his questions, but he seemed to be gaining more confidence that he wasn't going to get into trouble for asking them. "Will they all be disappointed when they realise I'm not the same?" He swallowed slightly and Severus thought for a moment he may be fighting back tears.

Severus wasn't exactly known for his talent at reassurance and he didn't really know how to answer. He found himself angrily wishing once again that the headmaster hadn't managed to screw up his relationship with Potter quite so badly, it should be him dealing with these kinds of inane questions not Severus.

"Perhaps you will be, eventually." Severus said finally. "You managed to change last time didn't you?" He pointed out. "Perhaps you will gain your confidence this time as well, in time."

"What if I don't?" Potter whispered after a long pause, chewing his lip slightly. "What if I'm different now because of the…" He didn't seem to want to say the word torture. "...Stuff that happened. What if I stay like this?"

"Then you do." Severus said simply, leaving out how much he very much wished Potter didn't return to his old self. Merlin help him if he got stuck brewing potions every few hours of the old Potter, he predicted the arrangement would only last about a day before he got fed up with the brat and refused to do it any longer.

"There is no way of knowing which version is the most authentic." He continued, not letting any of his inward thoughts affect his tone orexpression. "Perhaps the truth is somewhere in the middle. Regardless of what the truth is, do you honestly believe returning to your relatives care will help you figure that out?" It was more than he had intended to say and for a moment he thought Potter may panic again, but he seemed to manage to keep his anxiety under control this time.

Potter frowned, looking like he was thinking over everything Severus had just said. Perhaps this was the time to end the conversation while he was ahead, rather than pushing it further and risking the boy breaking down on him again.

"The headmaster will speak to you tomorrow, I suggest you think carefully on what decision you would like to make." He said finally, before turning back towards the staircase. Potter needed to think he was in charge of the situation and in control of the decisions being made if Albus had any chance of convincing him to stay in the winding world. He left the boy to think on what he had said until the next dose was due, deciding to work on some of his other brews he had been falling behind on in recent days.

…

Albus felt mildly on edge as he waited for Severus and Harry to arrive in his office. He had spent the last few days thinking and planning, trying to come up with a way to keep Harry safe without losing his trust even further. The options were very limited, Harry could decide he wanted to go back to his relatives and refuse to come to Hogwarts in September, but that wasn't truly an option because neither Albus nor Severus would allow it with what they now suspected about his home life. He could instead be found another placement in the muggle world if he didn't decide to rejoin the magical world, but that would be very dangerous and it would be exceedingly difficult for Albus to ensure the boy's safety. It also brought into question the prophecy and how it may or may not be fulfilled if Harry never faced Voldemort, and that was extremely troubling to consider. Could he risk the entire wizarding world just to give one single child a choice in his own life? He didn't think so.

His instinct was to intervene and make sure Harry had no option of going anywhere else, and keep him safe at Hogwarts and on track to have any chance of fulfilling the prophecy even if it was against what he currently thought he wanted to do. His mind would most likely change once he settled back into the magical world and he would most certainly want to help in the fight against Voldemort and do his part to fulfil the prophecy, he just didn't know that yet.

Severus had made it very clear that he thought this would be the wrong decision, and that any attempt to control Harry would only backfire and make him more determined to get away from him. Severus was wise in these matters, though he didn't particularly like to have that recognised, and Severus strongly believed that what Harry needed the most right now was to be in control of his own choices. He was of the mind that if they gave Harry the option of what he wanted to do, even if he chose differently right now, he had more of a chance of changing his mind and coming back onside eventually.

Albus agreed, to an extent, however he had much more than just the boy's happiness and sense of security to take into consideration. And yes, while there was a risk that Harry would rebel against his guidance, Albus was very confident in his ability to get Harry to see sense. He still had some leverage when it came to Harry's parents and knew how desperate he would be for information and connection to them, and he knew just the person to involve - Remus Lupin. He had been a close friend of Harry's parents, was kind and unintimidating and was a trustworthy member of the order. He would be the ideal person for Harry to get close to, but he first needed Harry to stay at Hogwarts for that to happen.

He hoped Severus had made some progress in this area and wasn't sure what he would do if he hadn't. He supposed he would cross that bridge when he came to it and decide which of the two less ideal options he would have to resort to.

His musing was interrupted by a quiet knock on his office door, presumably Severus and Harry who would not have wanted to use the floo. "Come in." He said cheerfully, pushing all thoughts of plans and worries about the future to the back of his mind. He needed to live up to his reputation of being welcoming and cheerful, this was not the time to dwell on anything that may come across negatively to Harry.

"Severus, Harry." He greeted as they both entered, stopping in front of his desk. "Take a seat." He gestured to the two fluffy chairs he had conjured earlier, knowing it wouldn't be a good idea to use magic so flippantly in Harry's presence just yet.

Harry glanced up at Severus nervously, who gave him a short nod in response. He took the seat on the right and Harry hesitated only for a moment before following his lead and taking the seat on the left. He looked nervous and uncomfortable but not completely overwhelmed, which Albus took as a good sign.

"How are you feeling, Harry?" He asked warmly, leaning forward a little. He tried to meet Harry's gaze but the nervous boy kept his eyes down, his hands clasped anxiously in his lap.

"Much better thank you Sir." He said quietly, shifting a little in his seat. He glanced quickly up at Severus beside him, seeming to take some comfort from his neutral and unconcerned expression. That was definitely a good sign, it seemed like Severus had made at least some progress in gaining Harry's trust over the last few days.

"Good." Albus nodded cheerfully. "Thank you Severus for looking after Harry, and for continuing to brew for him. I hope it hasn't been too much of an imposition."

Severus quirked an eyebrow slightly but nodded in agreement. "Surprisingly not." He said grudgingly. "Potter has not caused any trouble thus far."

"Excellent!" Albus turned back to Harry who was still sitting quietly and hadn't moved a muscle. "Have you enjoyed your time here, Harry?" He asked carefully, trying to avoid jumping straight into what he really wanted to address.

Harry looked very unsure, looking again at Severus for reassurance. When Severus gave him nothing but the same neutral expression he looked back down, wringing his hands slightly in his lap. "Yes, Sir?" Harry's reply was soft and sounded more like a question, like he wasn't sure what Albus wanted to hear.

"Very good." Albus hummed. "And did you find any of the books that were sent down useful?" Harry nodded slowly but didn't elaborate. "Which ones did you read?" Albus prompted after a long moment of silence.

"Just a few." Harry said evasively with a slight shrug. "Mostly the potions ones." He admitted cautiously, again seeming like he was trying to make sure he didn't say the wrong answer.

"Do you like potions Harry?" Albus smiled warmly, trying to encourage him to open up to him a little more.

This time he looked even more unsettled at the question and glanced back to Severus with a pleading look in his eyes. He seemed much less willing to speak than he had initially been in St. Mungos before apparently deciding he was not to be trusted. Albus hoped it wasn't too late to reverse Harry's lack of trust in him, it was very disconcerting to see how wary he was now. Severus seemed to take pity on Harry this time after a moment and nodded for him instead. "He has been observing me brew and seems to find it interesting."

"That's wonderful, I'm very glad to hear it." He praised. "Your mother loved potions too, she was very talented." He offered, hoping to pique the boy's interest, it seemed to work as Harry leaned forward a little, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"She did?" He asked quietly, chewing his lip slightly.

"Oh, yes." Albus nodded. "She was one of the brightest students of her age, she was excellent at potions and also had a real talent for transfiguration. She became head girl in her seventh year."

"Oh." Harry said uncertainly. Albus wasn't quite sure what he had said wrong but the next time Harry looked up he managed to catch his gaze for just a second. He was flooded with emotions of wariness and concern, and Albus quickly saw in his mind that thinking of his mother as a talented magic user was making him anxious and unsure.

"She was also very kind and pure of heart." He added, feeling pleased when he saw Harry's eyes light up just a little bit. "She was courageous and brave and always stood up for other people, very much like you."

Harry's face seemed to close off again and Albus found himself getting mildly frustrated, there was no eye contact now so he couldn't be sure what he had said wrong this time. It didn't seem like there was any right way of handling the nervous boy, and Albus found himself ruing once again the loss of Harry's memories and trust he had already painstakingly built with the boy over the past year.

He became aware of Severus' heavy gaze, the potions master was frowning and looked angry at his casual mention of Lily, he also had a slight hint of disapproval on his face. "Perhaps we should discuss other matters." Severus said pointedly, his eyes narrowed. "Such as where Potter will be going." He added, ostensibly for Harry's benefit, who had looked slightly nervous about what might be brought up next.

"Yes." Albus sighed. "I suppose that would be wise. Harry?" He turned to the small eleven year old who was somewhat huddled into his chair, taking up as little space as he could. "Have you had a chance to think about what you would like to do? Your time here has been enjoyable and interesting in your own words, would you be willing to consider staying a little longer?" Severus shot him a look and Albus winced a little internally, perhaps that had been a bit too much after all. Harry looked overwhelmed and unsure, and merely shrugged in response. Albus sighed, glancing back to Severus for assistance. The potions master met his gaze evenly, his assured expression making Albus suspect he had an idea of what to say to convince Harry already.

"Potter expressed a desire to return to his relatives." Severus said blandly. "However, given the things we have discussed about his relatives, I believe his inclination to return may be based on feeling more secure in a familiar situation rather than an actual desire to remain in their care. Would I be correct?" He directed the last part to Harry who swallowed nervously in response, before giving the tiniest of nods. "May I make a suggestion?" The boy nodded again, this time a little more forcibly. "You have made progress in the last few days here. You are starting to become accustomed to the castle, and to magic itself. I realise it is still a very alarming concept for you but would you agree that it may have improved, even if only very slightly?"

"Um…" Harry mumbled, thinking carefully about what Severus had said. "Y-yes, I guess." He admitted quietly.

"Indeed." Severus nodded. "And your health has very much improved here. Would you agree?" He received a quicker nod in response this time. "Would you be willing to give it a little longer, at least while another option is found for you other than your relatives?" Severus posed the question carefully, with very little pressure or expectations. Albus was impressed despite himself, he was good at manipulating people when he needed to be but it seemed Severus was unexpectedly insightful about how to approach things with this skittish, untrusting version of Harry.

Harry took a long moment to answer, chewing on his lip. He glanced back at Severus who was waiting patiently, his expression unchanged from before. He then glanced to Albus, meeting his friendly gaze with his own cautious one. "I could go somewhere else?" He asked finally, sounding like he didn't quite believe it.

"Of course, my boy." Albus doubled down on the groundwork Severus had already laid, deciding that since his plan of giving the boy a choice seemed to be working so far they might as well stick with it. "If you are unhappy here I will personally work on a solution that will see you placed somewhere other than the Dursleys. If you choose to stay in the muggle world then I will use everything within my power and all of my influence to make that happen." He said, sincerity shining in his eyes. He wasn't lying to the boy after all, he would try to find another solution. He just wasn't confident that there would be an answer he could realistically find that would both keep Harry safe and keep him away from the wizarding world at the same time. If it came down to a choice he would choose Harry's safety over his autonomy, though he truly hoped it didn't come to that.

"Will you stay a while longer, Harry?" Albus prompted gently, hoping that between him and Severus they had done enough to change the boy's mind.

Harry looked at Severus again, his bright green eyes questioning and unsure. This time Severus gave him a definite nod, making it clear that he approved. Harry swallowed and looked back to Albus nervously, before finally nodding his head. "Excellent." Albus said with his own nod of approval. "I have an idea of how to keep you safe while you are here so you are not confined to just one place any longer, would you like to hear it?"

"Yes, sir." He agreed quietly. He seemed to be a little less on edge now that the decision had been made and wasn't hanging ominously in the air between them any longer.

"No one can know that Harry Potter is staying here." Albus said carefully. "While I trust my staff I've been wrong before, and Lord Voldemort has spies in even the most unlikely places. The fact that he was able to infiltrate my staff last year has proven to me that the less people who know the better. Thus far it is only the three of us in this room and Professor McGonnagal who know you have been here at all. The rest of the staff and indeed the Order as well have been told you are with your relatives and will soon be moved to a safe house under a charm that would protect anyone from finding you. I will ensure this becomes public knowledge by leaking it to the proper channels." He explained carefully.

Severus raised an eyebrow at this. "The Dark Lord will not so easily believe any such rumours." He interjected. "He will make sure the boy is not here before starting to search elsewhere, you will need proof."

"I'll have proof." Albus assured him. "He will be publicly sighted elsewhere at the same time that Harry is known to be here, though not as himself." Severus frowned but did not interrupt a second time. "He will remain under a disguise, as a new first year student. Without the last year of memories he would struggle to catch up in second year, and this way he will have a chance at a slower introduction back to the wizarding world without the pressure of being the boy who lived."

Harry perked up a little at that comment, seeming more interested in what Albus was saying. "I wouldn't be Harry Potter? Who would I be instead?" He asked shyly.

"That's up to you my boy." Albus smiled widely, his plan already seemed to be working. "It would be a fresh start for you. My suggestion would be to stay in the Gryffindor tower, the same house your parents were in, where Professor Mcgonagall can monitor your well being and bring you the potions that Professor Snape will continue to brew for you. You can take a new name and I will transfigure your appearance. It will not be a permanent change and can be reversed, but if I am the one to cast it it would take significant power to undo the charm. It is unlikely that anyone you may run into would be able to reverse it save perhaps Lord Voldemort himself, but he will not risk coming near the school until he has fully regained his strength and his followers. We will have time on our side to make a plan for that eventuality, should it become a possibility."

Harry looked uncertain and overwhelmed, and was giving Severus a pleading look once again. Perhaps it had all been too much for him at once and they should reconvene another time to work out the details.

"Potter will consider it." Severus made the decision for him, causing Harry to sag slightly in relief. "He can stay another night in my quarters and he will give you an answer tomorrow." Harry nodded quickly, shooting Severus a grateful look.

"Very well. Sleep well Harry." Albus said warmly, watching as the boy scrambled to his feet. He wasted no time leaving the office, Severus following at a more sedate pace after nodding an unspoken goodbye to Albus.

Albus was left feeling much more positive as he relaxed back into his chair. That had gone very well, he thought. Much better than he had dared hoped it would. Perhaps the situation with Harry wasn't as dire as he first thought.

…

Harry was relieved that the conversation was finally over, finding himself anxious to get back to the couch that he had called home for the past four days. The professor was silent as they made their way back through the castle to the dungeons, Harry keeping his gaze fixed firmly on the floor so as not to see anything alarming. He had made the mistake of looking up on their way to the office earlier and had seen a wall full of animated portraits and a staircase moving all by itself, a sight he wouldn't soon forget. His heart had started racing as panic set in, only slowed by the Professor's sharp words. "Look away, Potter. Or you'll need a calming potion, and I don't expect you will want to see the headmaster under the effects of one."

He had nodded quickly and glued his eyes to the floor which had helped, and it helped again now as he followed the Professor's feet back down the stairs towards the dungeons.

He had expected a conversation when they returned and the potions master did not disappoint, stopping by the couch and crossing his arms over his chest. It put Harry slightly on edge but not as much as it used to, as he now knew that was just how the professor did things and it didn't necessarily mean he had done anything wrong.

"How do you think that went?" The professor asked evenly, his tone giving nothing away.

"Um…" Harry still wasn't sure, but he supposed it hadn't been as bad as he had worried it would be. "It went okay?" He winced at the professor's sharp look, knowing it was because he had phrased it as a question. The professor was very particular with things like that, Harry was coming to find. "It was okay." He corrected himself carefully.

The professor nodded once in approval. "And?" He probed, clearly not satisfied. "Do you like the headmaster's plan?"

Harry chewed his lip, not sure how to answer. It wasn't that he didn't like the plan, he felt grateful that they had bothered to come up with a solution and involved Harry in the decision making. The thought of staying in the castle around all the magical things still terrified him, and moving to somewhere else and being watched over by Mcgonagall also sounded intimidating. He had only met the other professor a few times before Petunia had made them start leaving the potions outside and she had seemed okay, but Harry had no idea what she was really like. He also remembered the comment the headmaster had made about her knowing him well, and that made him a little nervous. Would she expect him to be like the old Harry Potter? Would she be disappointed when she realised he was nothing like that?

He looked back at the professor who was watching him nonchalantly, seeming unbothered that Harry was taking such a long time to answer. Professor Snape may not be warm or kind like the headmaster but he was relatively patient and predictable and he made what he meant clear and didn't confuse him, and seemed to answer his questions honestly and directly, unlike the headmaster. He didn't seem to have liked the old Harry much anyway and seemed unbothered if Harry never returned to his previous self, which made Harry feel like there was less pressure to be that person again. He remembered their conversation at the hospital about his mother, and wondered if perhaps they had been friends. "She was very kind." He had said, and he had seemed like he had meant it. Professor Snape had proven himself trustworthy at least to a certain extent, and Harry didn't want to go somewhere else in the castle and have to find his feet again. He was used to Professor Snape now and knew what to expect of him, it was a very confronting thought to think of starting over with Professor Mcgonagall somewhere else.

He sat for a long moment knowing what he wanted to say, but having no idea how to say it. He was afraid of the Professor saying no and rejecting him, or getting angry at him for even asking. It was preposterous and presumptuous to even ask and Harry couldn't believe how stupid he had been, he was crazy to even consider it. By the time he made his decision not to say anything he looked back up to see the professor watching him carefully.

"Potter." He said finally. "Say whatever it is you want to say. I will not be angry." Harry struggled to gain any reassurance from that whatsoever, knowing if the Professor knew what he was considering asking he would not have promised not to get angry.

"It's nothing, sir." He said quickly, shaking his head. "I'll do what the headmaster wants me to do."

Professor Snape frowned and looked at him intently, his gaze meeting Harry's own for a moment. He felt a little dazed for a moment like he had forgotten his train of thought before the feeling went away as soon as it appeared and his head cleared of the odd daze like feeling. The professor was still eyeing him carefully, his frown even deeper now. "You don't want to stay in Gryffindor tower?" He asked sharply, seeming a little different now, a bit more intense. Harry wasn't sure what emotion was on his face but it wasn't as even as it normally was.

Harry shrugged, not wanting to lie but also not wanting to say anything that might make him angry. He felt uncomfortable and insecure, not sure if he had said or done something to annoy the Professor. He probably thought Harry was being ungrateful and unappreciative of how hard everyone was working to help him. Harry curself himself inside his head for being so stupid, he needed to stop making all these stupid mistakes. Things had been going well with professor Snape and now he had ruined it, he had pushed it too far and taken advantage of how much he had already helped him. He suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt, wishing he could go back and change his answer with all his being. Why did he have to ruin every good thing that ever happened to him? He should have known that eventually everyone here would also realise how worthless he was, it was just a matter of time. The Dursleys had warned him that no one would ever care for him, that he wasn't worth anyone's time or attention. He didn't know what had come over him, he had clearly gotten too complacent here and maybe it was a bad idea to stay after all. If the headmaster couldn't find anywhere else for him he could handle the Dursleys, he would just have to be more careful this time and not make any more idiotic mistakes like dropping his potion.

"Potter!" The sharp word broke through the spiral of thoughts in his head, startling him. He realised he was hyperventilating and his heart was racing, his body overrun with anxiety and panic. He gasped as he tried to catch his breath, panicking even further when he realised it was way too far gone for him to calm himself down on his own. The professor seemed to realise the same and produced a familiar vial from his pocket, a dose of calming potion.

He took it quickly and swallowed it in one gulp, desperate to stop the horrible panic from completely over taking him. It took a few seconds before it started to recede, leaving him feeling spent and exhausted. He collapsed back into the couch as his breathing returned to normal, closing his eyes for a moment as he enjoyed the sense of artificial calm washing over him. He felt like he got lost in that feeling for a moment, enjoying the much needed relief from the anxiety that had plagued him for days since the last time he had had a calming potion. He eventually opened his eyes to see Professor Snape still standing over him, his expression hard to read. He didn't seem angry or annoyed but there was some kind of emotion there, Harry winced hoping it wasn't pity. He knew very well how pathetic he was already, he didn't need anyone else reminding him of that fact.

"Are you alright?" Professor Snape said evenly, whatever emotion it had been before was now gone and he was back to his usual expressionless self. Harry simply nodded, unwilling to say anything further. The calming potion kept him feeling relaxed and at ease but he still didn't want to risk annoying the professor any further.

"I cannot help if you do not tell me." The professor sounded sincere enough, and Harry wondered if maybe he hadn't been annoyed at him after all. Harry found it all so confusing trying to constantly decipher the motivation and intent behind his words. The calming potion was clearly working and he started to feel like maybe telling the professor what he was thinking wouldn't be the worst idea in the world. "Ask me your question, Potter." Professor Snape said firmly, as if he was reading his mind.

"It's Harry." He found himself saying without quite realising he had intended to say it at all.

"What?" The Professor blinked, clearly taken aback.

Normally he would have backed off at this point, too nervous to continue but the calming potion was too strong to let him take back his hasty words. "You always call me Potter but my name is Harry." He shrugged, feeling reassured enough by the effects of the potion to continue. "Potter sounds like you're angry with me." He admitted. "My relatives only ever called me Potter or Boy, and they were always angry at me."

Professor Snape seemed to consider this for a long moment before nodding finally. "Very well. Ask me your question, Harry." Harry liked the sound of that much better. He was starting to become more and more tired as the calming potion made his body realise how exhausted it was. It felt like a good time to go to sleep. Before closing his eyes he remembered the Professor's question, and since he had listened to his request about his name he figured he at least owed him an answer.

"I don't want to go anywhere else." He said softly, leaving back into the couch. "I like it here." He admitted. "You didn't like the old Harry so you don't care that I'm not him anymore. The other professors want me to go back to how I used to be." He frowned, knowing he should be feeling nervous to say all this but unable to fight the calmness that was washing over him. "I'll only let them down." He whispered, his eyes starting to close of their own volition. He tried to fight the calming sleepiness that was overtaking him and forced his eyes open for a second. Professor Snape was still looking at him with an indecipherable look on his face. Was it surprise? Maybe a little but not entirely. Sympathy? Harry didn't know and decided the question could wait, the sleep was far too tempting. Within seconds he lost the battle, giving in and accepting the wave of calm as his mind drifted off to a peaceful sleep.