CHAPTER 7

It's morning, the room was quiet,

As her eyes flickered between Jane's peaceful face and Elle's little form, a pang of guilt tugged at Maura's heart.

Slowly, she shifted, careful not to disturb the sleeping pair, but just enough to turn her face toward Jane's, her breath quiet but full of concern.

"Jane," Maura whispered, her voice hoarse. "Did you think of Elle? Did you think of me... when you ran into the building without backup?"

The words lingered in the air, fragile and full of raw emotion. Jane didn't immediately respond, her breathing steady as though she hadn't heard Maura at all. But Maura knew she had, knew that Jane had heard her, even if she was pretending to be asleep.

"Did you... did you think about what would happen to Elle if... if you didn't make it?" Maura continued, her heart breaking for both Jane and the little girl who had become like a daughter to her.

Then, finally, Jane shifted, her eyes fluttering open. She blinked, her face momentarily confused before it softened into something Maura couldn't quite place. She seemed lost in thought for a moment, and for a heartbeat, Maura feared she wouldn't answer at all.

"I should have thought of you, though," Jane continued, her voice softening, barely above a whisper. "I should've thought of Elle... and the people who care about me. But i thought of another little who was alone in this world, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry about the fight earlier at the hospital," Maura whispered gently. "I was scared. The kiss-."

"I don't want to talk about it, especially with Elle here," Jane said, her voice barely audible as she shifted her hand, gently urging Maura's to move. "But you're cutting circulation to my hand, Maura."

"Sorry. I'll go get ready," Maura said, her voice softer than she had intended.

"Maura," Jane said quietly, her voice thick with unspoken emotion. She didn't look up from where she was, as she's carefully sliding Elle's small frame off her chest to the couch, but there was something in her tone that made Maura pause in her tracks. "I... I just don't want to talk about it. Right now."

Maura nodded, though her chest tightened with the restraint of it all. As Maura disappeared into the other room, Jane quietly turned and made her way toward the kitchen, the familiar ache in her body reminding her that she should have listened to Maura about having Elle sleep on her chest. Her ribs still ached from the beating, and the pain had started to creep up her arm in a way she couldn't ignore any longer.

In the kitchen, Jane grabbed the bottle of painkillers from the counter, she didn't take the pills immediately. Instead, she stood there for a moment, staring down at the couch, the weight of her thoughts pressing in. What had happened between her and Maura? This made her smile but she shook her head, pushing the thoughts aside as best as she could. There was no time to dwell on this now.

Later that morning, the car was parked in front of Casey's apartment building.

Jane glanced over at Maura, who sat beside her, her hands clenched tightly in her lap, her face pale and unreadable. She hadn't said a word since they left the house.

"Maura," Jane said softly, "Are you ready? We have to go inside."

Maura didn't respond. She just stared straight ahead, her gaze fixed on the building.

Elle, sitting in the backseat, wiggled and squirmed in her booster seat. "Mommy, I don't want to go inside."

"Elle," Jane said gently, turning her head to meet her daughter's eyes in the rearview mirror, "it's okay. Remember our talk earlier? Maura, daddy and I are going to talk."

Elle pouted, her lower lip trembling. Jane knew the little girl didn't fully understand why she had to leave, but she also knew that Casey was her father. She had to respect that.

But just as Jane was about to open her door, she noticed something in Maura's face—a quiet, painful look. Maura's eyes were glassy, her breath shallow, and her shoulders were tense. She was gripping the seatbelt like it was the only thing holding her together.

"Maura?" Jane asked, concern in her voice.

"I… I can't," Maura whispered, shaking her head. "I can't go in there knowing I might have to say goodbye. I can't let her go."

Without thinking, Elle unbuckled her seatbelt and clambered into the front seat, sitting beside Maura. "Maura, don't be sad. It'll be okay."

Maura blinked, her face crumpling as Elle's tiny hand reached out to comfort her. The sight of Elle's concern—so innocent, so pure—was too much for Maura to bear. A tear slipped down Maura's cheek, and she swallowed hard, her voice barely above a whisper. "I know, sweetheart. I know."

Jane took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "It's not a goodbye," Jane said, her voice firm yet gentle.

Maura nodded silently, but Jane could see how hard it was for her to let go. She turned to Elle and said softly, "I love her so much, Jane."

"I know. Everything's going to be okay," Jane repeated, as much for herself as for Maura.

When Jane walked up to Casey's door, her mind raced. Casey opened the door before Jane could even knock, his eyes tired but sharp, a mixture of emotions flickering in his gaze. Jane could tell he hadn't slept well, but the tension between them was thicker than ever.

"Hi," Casey greeted her curtly, stepping aside to let her in. "I saw the car and I was expecting Maura."

"They are in the car," Jane said, her voice steady despite the nervous energy coiling inside her. "I thought we could talk, the situation with Elle."

Casey's face hardened. "There is no situation with Elle, she's my daughter. I know it wasn't fair leaving her with you but I didn't think about the effect that would have on my daughter."

Jane nodded, trying to keep her emotions in check. "I agree she's your daughter but you did leave her in my care. It's not her fault that you were gone a whole year when you only said a month or two. I don't want her life turned upside down, Casey. She's been with me, with Maura, all three of us have grown attached. We need to figure out a way to make this transition as easy as possible."

Casey's lips curled into a tight, frustrated smile. "Easy? You think it's going to be easy after everything? I already got that speech from your mother when she told me to stay away from Elle for almost year. Now my child is afraid of me." He practically spat the words, his fists clenching at his sides.

Jane froze, the blood draining from her face. "My mother? What are you talking?"

"Yeah," Casey continued, voice rising in anger. "Your mother pretty much asked me to take Elle, like my daughter was a possession with a return date. That's not an environment I want for Elle, even if it means I must her break little heart."

Jane's mind was reeling. "I had no idea," Jane whispered, her heart heavy. "Why couldn't you come to me? You left Elle in my care not my mother's. Casey please don't keep her from me"

Casey scoffed. "Doesn't matter now. I take responsibility too but I need to think of Elle. Your mother doesn't want my child with you."

"It's not about my mother," Jane said quietly, fighting to hold back tears. "I know I don't have any legal rights over Elle but that's my child too. Can we please work out a way that works for all 4 of us?"

Casey's expression softened just a fraction. "I don't know, Jane. I need time"

Back in the car,

Maura glanced down at the small, curly-haired head resting against her chest. Elle had been quiet, her big eyes staring out of the window, her little fingers fidgeting with the hem of Maura's jacket.

"Hey, sweetie," Maura said gently, brushing a strand of hair from Elle's face. "Are you okay?"

Elle nodded, but her lip quivered ever so slightly.

"I don't want you to worry," Maura continued, her voice soft but steady. "It's okay to be confused. Big changes are good, they allow growth."

Elle looked up at her with wide eyes, her voice barely a whisper. "Will you still see me, Maura?"

Maura's heart ached at the question. She pulled Elle closer, her arms wrapping protectively around her. "Oh, baby," she whispered. "Of course, I will. I promise you. I'll come visit you. I will fight to stay in your life, okay?"

Elle looked up at Maura, her small hands gripping Maura's arms. "I don't want you to go away."

Maura's voice wavered slightly, but she steadied herself. "Remember it's not a goodbye. You can still come visit and we will have sleepovers and still do our Saturday mornings."

Just then Casey and Jane walked out of the building. Jane nodded her head to Maura, signaling it's time.

"Okay, Elle," Maura said, her hands smoothing over the girl's hair. "I need you to be brave for me. I know this is hard, but for now, I want you to stay with your daddy, alright? Your dad, Mom and I will find a way. You trust me don't you?"

Elle bit her lip, but nodded. She didn't quite understand everything, but the reassurance in Maura's voice gave her a sense of calm.

"Good girl," Maura said, kissing the top of Elle's head. "I love you, Elle. Always."

With a deep breath, Maura gently helped Elle out of the car, Elle ran to Jane. With a final squeeze and a kiss on the forehead Jane walked to the car.

Jane opened the driver's side door and slid into the seat. Maura in the passenger seat, her eyes red and swollen from crying.

Without saying a word, Jane started the engine, the sound of the car's engine filling the silence between them. She kept her eyes on the road, but Maura's presence beside her was all-encompassing.

"Maura," Jane finally spoke, her voice hoarse. "I… I have to tell you what Casey said."

Maura turned to face Jane, her eyes brimming with curiosity but also an underlying sadness, as if she already knew this conversation wouldn't be an easy one.

"What did he say?" Maura's voice was barely above a whisper, the tension palpable in the air.

Jane swallowed hard, her hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. "Casey return the night of Elle's 5th birthday, he came to the diner," She glanced over at Maura, meeting her gaze for the briefest moment. "He got cold feet but Ma saw him and decided to go and tell him to stay away. Casey didn't show up by coincidence the night of the Halloween, Ma told him to fetch Elle"

Maura's breath caught in her throat. Her eyes widened, and she turned fully in her seat, facing Jane now. "What?!" Her voice trembled, a mix of confusion and disbelief.

"I don't know how we're going to fix this," Jane began, her eyes focused on the road ahead, though her mind was a million miles away. "I also don't know how we're going to fight for Elle when we're…I don't mean just what happened with Casey or Angela. I mean with us, Maura."

Maura blinked, clearly taken off guard. "With us?"

"I've been thinking," Jane continued, her voice quieter now. "About us. We can't keep pretending. Last time I kissed, told you how I feel. You freaked out and went on sabbatical leave. Then return like nothing happened. We get into a fight at the hospital, you disappear and return with Elle and you kiss me. You sending mixed signals. But I can't keep pretending like I don't feel something more. I don't want to fight with you, I only have the strength to fight for her."

Maura's breath hitched, and she looked down at her hands, folding them in her lap. "Jane, what are you saying?"

Jane's heart pounded as she turned slightly to face Maura, the words spilling out before she could stop them. "I'm saying that I want us, I want you. I care about you, Maura. I always have. I care about you in a way that's... not just friendship. Not just partnership. And I can't let this go unsaid."

Maura's eyes widened, and she opened her mouth as though to say something, but no words came out. The silence in the car was deafening. The car came to a stop and parked on the driveway of Maura's house.

Maura finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to fight too"

Before Maura could finish, Jane reached over, her hand gently cupping Maura's face. Without thinking, she leaned in, closing the gap between them, and kissed Maura softly, her lips brushing against hers in a kiss full of unspoken emotions, of everything that had been left unsaid for so long.

Maura froze for a moment, but then her hand found Jane's, her fingers curling into hers. Jane deepened the kiss, feeling Maura's response.

When they finally pulled away, Maura's breathing was shallow, her cheeks flushed. She looked at Jane, her eyes soft and filled with something that was no longer hidden. "I care about you too."

Jane smiled faintly, brushing her thumb across Maura's cheek. "Please tell me you not going to go on sabbatical again?"

Maura nodded slowly, her lips curving into a small, fragile smile. "I promise."

Maura leans in and kiss Jane again, this time her hands moving lower, then, knock, knock, knock!

The sound was sharp and sudden, making both women jump apart so fast that Jane nearly knocked the rearview mirror out of place. Heart pounding, Jane whipped her head toward the window to find none other than her brother Frankie, standing outside, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket.

"I'm gonna kill him, seriously?!" Jane exclaimed, still wide-eyed, her lips slightly swollen. "Frankie, what the hell?!"

Frankie grinned widely, clearly amused by the situation. " I see a carseat," he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm, "I didn't mean to interrupt your... very important conversation. Where's my niece?"

Maura, who had been staring at Frankie in complete shock, quickly adjusted her blouse, running a hand through her hair. "Frankie," she said, her voice a little flustered, "what are you doing here?"

Frankie leaned closer to the window, his face a picture of mock curiosity. "Hi! Is Elle here?"

Jane shot him a pointed look. "She's with Casey, Frankie."

Frankie raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Why is her car seat back there?"

Jane groaned, slumping back in her seat. "Go away."

But Frankie was having way too much fun. "Come on, Jane, you know I've been rooting for you two for ages. But honestly, was Elle here?."