Lucas had just fled through the garden maze, leaving Brooke there... Both furious and quite excited. She remained disoriented for a few seconds but ended up returning to Debie for her morning work. And even if she really wasn't concentrating... It at least had the merit of distracting her and occupying her mind.
DEBIE : The invitations have already been sent but I'm still looking for an idea for the design and presentation of the menu...
Indeed, the big fundraising evening was already taking place next week and Brooke was helping her in her missions.
DEBIE : I would really like to find an original idea, something that would mark the donors...
BROOKE : Maybe you could have a photo of the abbey printed on the menu, or else...
DEBIE : Yes? Or else?
BROOKE : I might have an idea... Why not use a drawing?
DEBIE : A drawing?
BROOKE : Yes. Maybe I could make a sketch of the abbey and the grounds. And if you like...
DEBIE : Say no more! That's a great idea! But we're in a bit of a hurry. Do you think you can finish this little masterpiece before this weekend?
Brooke appreciated Debie's enthusiasm for her suggestion. She nodded, confident.
DEBIE : Because we'll still have to send it to the printer... Great! Well, you also have a second challenge...
Brooke looked at her, raising an inquisitive eyebrow, worried and a little skeptical while waiting for the rest.
DEBIE : Let's not lie to ourselves... These evenings have a clearly stated objective, that of bringing in money for the Foundation. That's why we always invite wealthy Catholics from the region... Or just wealthy people for that matter! I know you have your own style, let's say, all your own... But, you need an outfit that's appropriate for the occasion!
BROOKE : I'd better tell you right now, there's no way I'm going to get all dolled up or wear something ridiculous!
DEBIE : There's nothing ridiculous about an evening dress... And wouldn't you agree to make a small exception just for one evening?
BROOKE : Honestly, I'm really not sure... We'll see!
DEBIE : We'll go to Sister Julie's later or tomorrow... I'm sure she'll be able to change your mind!
Brooke spent the rest of the morning helping Debie with her calls to list the attendance at the big party. In the afternoon, she met up with Sister Karen for the final preparations for the party that will take place tomorrow at the abbey.
SISTER KAREN : We'll take carrots, endives and cauliflowers.
Thinking she wouldn't get too dirty, Brooke designated herself to take care of the cauliflowers that were already coming out of the ground.
BROOKE : Do you need a lot?
SISTER KAREN : We need them all! There will be lots of us tomorrow, my dear!
BROOKE : All your families are invited, right?
SISTER KAREN : Right! Our family members are invited here every two years or so... It's providential.
BROOKE : Providential?
SISTER KAREN : Both happy and unexpected. Through our life choices, we have considerably reduced our ties with our loved ones. But I often miss my "blood" family and it is always a delight to see them again and share with them.
BROOKE : Mmh ... I suppose that when you are isolated as you are, it must not be easy. Do you never regret it?
SISTER KAREN : Not at all. You know ... This is the only place where I can give what I have and what I am deep down. I have chosen a second family, gathered and united by the call and love of Christ.
While Brooke was struggling with the recalcitrant cauliflowers, she did not hear Father Luc arrive. She jumped.
BROOKE'S THOUGHT : They are all so quiet here!
FATHER LUC : Hello Brooke. Are you doing well?
BROOKE : Very well! Thank you!
He simply nodded at her answer. Then, hands behind his back, the Abbot walked towards Sister Karen.
FATHER LUC : Sister, can you confirm that the arbors are ready in case the sun doesn't shine tomorrow?
SISTER KAREN : Yes, Father. They have been gathered at the entrance to the shed. However, they still need to be installed.
FATHER LUC : Good. Very good. I think they should be put up by tonight, at the latest.
SISTER KAREN : I will ask my Sisters for help so that we can finish this before nightfall.
FATHER LUC : Certainly not, Sister. You can't be in the oven and at the mill... And you've already done enough.
SISTER KAREN : Oh, that's very charitable of you, Father, but who will do it, then?
FATHER LUC : Fortunately we have young and lively Brothers in our Community: Steve, Lucas, Skills ...
Brooke then heard a first name that particularly interested her and decided to listen more closely.
FATHER LUC : I'll have Brother Steve and Brother Lucas settle them in after the evening snack.
SISTER KAREN : Not to contradict you, but I'm afraid the sun has already set and it's too dark to...
FATHER LUC : That'll do. Brother Lucas is currently in Confession until nightfall and Brother Steve is in the fields...
SISTER KAREN : Good. As you wish, Father.
Once the vegetables were harvested, Brooke took care of pushing the wheelbarrow to the abbey kitchen.
SISTER KAREN : Good, I hope you know how to peel vegetables, lots of vegetables!
After spending nearly two hours peeling carrots and cutting cauliflower florets...
SISTER KAREN : You've done a hell of a job!
BROOKE : Yes, but it went by quickly, again!
Sister Karen gave her a big friendly smile and a pat on the back as she washed her hands.
SISTER KAREN : Now go girl, you deserve a little distraction before dinner time.
Without waiting, Brooke left the kitchen and went back to her room to change. It was clear that harvesting the cauliflowers had been a lot messier than she had originally thought.
Brooke wandered around with her sketchbook in hand, looking for a nice view she could draw for Debie. She first settled on the low stone wall facing the archways that offered an interesting view between the columns. But she changed her mind when she realized that the painting didn't have enough of a view of the gardens and buildings. She decided to continue on her way to find a higher vantage point. She wandered around at random...
Passing the church, she considered the option of climbing up to the bell tower to appreciate the viewpoint, the height of which could prove ideal for her drawing. But another thought burst into her mind.
BROOKE'S THOUGHT : Father Luc did tell Sister Karen that Lucas was in confession...
She hesitated for a few seconds, then moved forward with a determined step. She knew exactly where she wanted to go... She silently passed through the large wooden door and already noticed a few worshipers from behind, sitting on the benches. Her eyes naturally contemplated the magnificent mixture of half-light and daylight that passed through the stained glass windows. She moved forward again, letting herself be charmed by the colorful and immaterial nuances that were projected into the building. The harmony of the place, its impressive volumes, the smell of candles and incense inspired tranquility and solemnity.
The slight echo and the particular sound atmosphere invited the faithful to contemplation, introspection and silence. Arriving at the height of the altar, Brooke scanned the sides of the horizontal transept to locate the confessional. The kind of large carved wooden cabinet was plunged into darkness, thus reinforcing its already mysterious side. A little feverish, Brooke slowed down when an elderly and well-dressed man came out. By reflex, she turned her face away, embarrassed. Still quite uncertain of finding the confessor she had hoped to find there, she entered the voting booth.
She found the chair very low but she sat down on it as best she could, not knowing that it was a kneeler. She closed the green velvet curtain hanging in front of her to isolate herself from prying ears. She didn't know it yet but it was Brother Lucas who opened the small gate behind the fence. Completely ignorant of the procedure, Brooke waited patiently for someone to invite her to speak...
BROOKE'S THOUGHT : When he wants... I can hear that there is someone next to me. Unless I am the one who has to say something?
Finally, after a few seconds, the voice of her confessor was heard.
LUCAS : You are very quiet my child, did you make the sign of the cross before starting?
A little embarrassed, Brooke did not even know how to do it and decided to improvise with a first little lie.
BROOKE : Yes yes!
LUCAS : Good. Let's start then, God and I are listening to you, my daughter.
BROOKE : Uh ... well already ... Hello.
The priest's reaction was not long in coming. No doubt he had detected her clumsiness in the face of this unusual exercise.
LUCAS : How long has it been since you confessed? Unless this is the first time?
BROOKE : Indeed, it was a long time ago ... I forgot a little!
LUCAS : Have no fear or embarrassment. I will guide you through this confession... First of all, remember to trust in the goodness and mercy of God that accompany you at every moment. Is your faith and trust in our Lord intact, my daughter?
BROOKE : Maybe, well I doubt it a little.
LUCAS : The Lord appreciates honesty and everyone is welcome at church. I invite you now to confess your sins, God will hear you through me.
Brooke relaxed more and more and almost managed to put herself in the shoes of a true penitent.
BROOKE : Forgive me, father, because I have sinned a lot... And I must warn you that this may be a bit long...
LUCAS : God knows how to be patient, my daughter. I am listening! God hears your sins and is about to absolve them.
BROOKE : Okay! Here we go then!
Brooke instantly regretted responding so casually... Still hoping she hadn't been found out.
BROOKE'S THOUGHT : This might give me away! If it hasn't already...
LUCAS'S THOUGHT : I knew it! I would recognize this smell among thousands of others, chestnut and mango...
BROOKE : Well, it's a bit complicated... Let's imagine that a man pleases me and that I please him reciprocally. But that this man is in some way already engaged... Me too, by the way, even if it's certainly less serious.
LUCAS : Is this man already united in a relationship formalized by the sacred bonds of marriage?
BROOKE : No, that's not really it even if it looks like it... He can't desire me and yet I know that he desires me.
LUCAS : I'm not sure I understand your point, my girl... Could you perhaps be more clear?
BROOKE : I've always liked what's illegal, dangerous, but here, it's downright forbidden... I've always chosen my partners based on this adventurous, even perilous, tendency... But here, if I insist a little too much, I'll take the risk of taking him with me where he has no desire to go... More than a mistake, it will be a serious transgression for him. He will ultimately be hurt and will end up hating me.
Brooke thought and hoped that Lucas had not recognized her voice even though his speech was becoming more and more explicit.
LUCAS' THOUGHT : This woman is incredibly intriguing ... I want to know more.
LUCAS : You seem to me to be carrying a heavy burden there and attributing a great deal of responsibility to yourself ... Now, don't you think that if this man gives in to temptation, it is his own decision?
BROOKE : I don't know, perhaps. But according to you who are a bit of an expert in matters of sin ... Can a person be held responsible for an act, a sin that he would have committed involuntarily?
LUCAS : Certainly not. But for that to happen, this sin would have to be truly and sincerely involuntary.
BROOKE : I'm not sure I understand the nuance...
LUCAS : Let's just say that if his whole body consents, he will be judged guilty in the same way as the person who submits him.
LUCAS' THOUGHT : Above all, don't say any more... Stay focused on your mission of faith!
BROOKE : So... If I force him a little and make love to him but he likes it and reacts favorably, it's a sin for him?
LUCAS' THOUGHT : My God! My soul ignites and crumbles while my body burns at the idea.
LUCAS : I hope you don't sincerely believe what you dare tell me now, my girl.
BROOKE : No, obviously...
Brooke's unconscious thoughts weren't entirely convinced. Lucas wasn't either but he didn't show it.
LUCAS : You reassure me. Nevertheless, you seem to have understood the ins and outs of this situation, certainly delicate...
BROOKE : No, precisely! I don't know what to do... Because there is this completely irresistible attraction!
LUCAS : When attraction strikes, there are strategies for deciding which path you want it to take.
BROOKE : I don't really agree with you! Especially since we are led to frequent each other for a while... And then, we are not masters of our desires. Desire, if it can be managed, it dies out!
LUCAS : But beyond the desire, as devouring as it may be, this idyll can only be fleeting because frivolous and light... And the chaos it will sow will help you to consider it as the incarnation of something bad... I can only invite you to transpose the perception you have of this person you covet... To thus tip the object of your desire into a symbol of ugliness , in other words Evil.
BROOKE : Evil!? But it does not inspire me with evil or ugliness... How could it? He is so... So divinely seductive and charming... He has a smile that would damn the angels, a gentle but frank and direct look... His voice is deep and his virility is only more exacerbated by the fact that he is, obviously, tall and strong... And beneath his pure, indifferent and chaste airs, he has a mouth that I easily imagine to be voracious and voluptuous...
Flattered by her description, Lucas tried to remain impassive as his brain was shaken in its circuits.
LUCAS : Physical appearance is not what matters; what matters is in the heart and if this man's heart is already taken...
BROOKE : It's not just his body... It's also his charisma! In fact, if he wasn't stubbornly blinded by God... He would be exactly my type of man, minus the attitude and the bad boy spirit, and still! He is so sexy... And, above all, he doesn't even seem to be aware of it... He is also very mysterious. And then, I don't usually feel the need to feel protected and he is a little too serious and mature. But his sincerity and the respect he shows me... I'm not used to so much attention. Yet with him, I like it.
A silence spread ... Lucas, eminently troubled, was seized by violent shivers provoked by his words.
LUCAS' THOUGHT : Ok ok ... I have to succeed in convincing her. It's my last hope of salvation.
LUCAS : You were talking about forbidden ... Don't you think that your desire is only more exacerbated?
BROOKE : If you mean that it's the forbidden that excites me, I can't contradict you. It's both frustrating and super exciting! Maybe it strengthens my desire... And his!
LUCAS : Has this man ever confided in you that he desires you?
BROOKE : He didn't need to! Some signs don't lie... I make his blood boil, that's obvious. A heart that beats too fast, sweaty hands, dilated pupils. I know the signs of male desire well... But I also know that a man can refuse himself, especially when he has learned to control himself for a long time... He seems to control better than anyone this terrible penis that usually doesn't always obey the will of men. But it's stronger than me... This resistance only increases the desire and pushes back the fatal deadline. And I can't help but fantasize about the moment when he will give himself, the passage to the act will only be better ...
Despite his confusion, Lucas tried to regain his senses and keep the thread of a coherent speech.
LUCAS : If I understood correctly, you are in particular circumstances that do not allow you to objectively analyze the reasons that push you to want to provoke a relationship, whether it is physical or spiritual. You are far from home, and you have lost your spatial and even temporal bearings ... These only reinforce what you think is desire and attraction for this man ... What do you think?
BROOKE : It is sure that it surely plays a role, especially if we add the fact that I am really lacking in sex! Besides, I was wondering ... Is masturbation a sin?
Lucas could no longer contain his thoughts unworthy of his priesthood and he imagined what his words evoked ... He also could not contain the nascent erection resulting from the more than intimate confession of his temptress. With a trembling voice and a body in turmoil, he answered her, clenching his fists tightly.
LUCAS : Auto-eroticism is a form of drug, the church considers it selfish and uh ...
LUCAS' THOUGHT : I can't concentrate anymore...
LUCAS : Did you get any pleasure from it, my girl?
LUCAS' THOUGHT : She makes me say anything!
BROOKE : A lot! Even if I would prefer something else... But you're not really answering my question there...
LUCAS : Sorry, I digress. God didn't create Man to be satisfied with solitary pleasures...
BROOKE : He's wrong, it's so good!
It was too much for Lucas who was now out of control... Fortunately, this grid separated him from Brooke. Remembering that he was in the Holy Place par excellence, he quickly stammered his absolution. He didn't know how but he had managed to put an end to Brooke's confession hastily. Brooke came out of the confessional...
BROOKE'S THOUGHT : I'll never know if it was him... But I sure hope so!