The following morning Rachel was sat in the kitchen with her hands around a cup of coffee that was now cold.
The previous twelve hours had been horrendous. This whole situation didn't feel real at all and Rachel hoped she would wake up from this terrible nightmare sometime soon.
After leaving the hospital Rachel brought Olivia and Daisy back to her house.
Vicky had asked Rachel a while ago if anything were to happen to her if she would take the girls in. It had been a few weeks after Vicky's husband had died so Rachel understood why she was thinking about things like this. Never had Rachel thought that it would actually come to her becoming the legal guardian of Olivia and Daisy.
Angela had offered to stay and help out but Rachel had insisted that she go home and be there for Mia and try and get some rest.
The night had passed slowly and Rachel didn't think she'd got any sleep at all.
She'd been up until at least 4 trying to console two tearful girls. Eventually they had drifted off to sleep and were sleeping now. Rachel just hadn't been able to fall asleep no matter how hard she tried.
Rachel took a sip of her coffee but then realised it was cold so stood up to pour it down the sink.
As she did she saw Angela stood on the other side of the French doors that lead into the kitchen.
Rachel unlocked the doors and let her best friend in.
"I thought I'd come to the back and see if you were awake"
"I haven't slept" Rachel told Angela
"Me neither. How are the girls?"
"Sleeping. It was a long night but I think they went to sleep around four"
"I can't believe they're having to go through this all over again. Losing one parent is bad enough, but two just seems so cruel"
"I know, life is so unfair sometimes"
Rachel made a fresh coffee for herself and one for Angela. Angela only lived next door so the pair of them were constantly nipping over to each other's houses.
"What if I can't look after them properly Ang? What if I let them down?" Rachel said. These were the thoughts that had been running through her mind all night. She couldn't help but feel not good enough to take on the role. She'd never been a mother before and was worried she wasn't going to be very good at it.
"You don't need to worry. You know you're going to try and do what's best by those girls and that's all that Vicky would ever of asked of you"
"I have no experience, I don't have children"
"Rach you've got about 600 of them"
"That's different. I'm just their teacher"
"You know you're so much more to them than just a teacher. I'll be here to help out too, you're not going to have to do this alone"
After Angela's reassurance their conversation turned to talking about memories of Vicky, especially the times they'd shared at university.
They were both crying as they remembered all of the happy times they shared.
Meanwhile, upstairs Olivia was wide awake. She had been for a while now but she didn't want to get out of bed.
She'd stayed at Rachel's house before, but this felt different. She didn't feel like she belonged there and just wanted to be in her own house cuddled up with her Mum.
It felt stupid, but she felt scared to get out of bed even to go to the loo. Instead she stayed under the covers as tears rolled down her cheeks.
Olivia wondered if she should go and check on Daisy. She couldn't though because she was crying too much.
Olivia was still lying in bed crying when the door to the bedroom she'd slept in opened and Rachel walked in. Olivia closed her eyes quickly, but she hadn't been quick enough for Rachel to not see.
Rachel walked over to the bed and sat down next to Olivia. She could tell Olivia was crying.
Olivia was trying her hardest not to, but she couldn't help but let a sniffle out.
"It's okay darling, it's all going to be okay" Rachel said as she stroked Olivia's back
Olivia opened her eyes but still stayed facing away from Rachel
Rachel hated seeing Olivia so upset but didn't know what to do to make her feel better.
"It's going to get better you know" Rachel said whilst tucking some hair behind Olivia's ear
"I want to go back to sleep"
"Okay, I'll leave you to it. You know where I am if you want anything"
Rachel knew Olivia was going to start crying again as soon as she left. She wanted to be able to comfort her, but if she wanted space then that's what Rachel would do.
Rachel then went to her own bedroom where Daisy had ended up falling asleep. Daisy was still fast asleep so Rachel went back downstairs to Angela.
"How's Mia?" Rachel asked as Mia was really close with Vicky
"She's upset. She ended up sleeping in with me and Sam slept in the spare bedroom. When I left she was still asleep but I expect she's awake by now"
"I'll let you get back to her"
"Yeah I probably should. Sam's already left for work so she's over there on her own. I'll come back later though and you just call if you need anything"
"I will, see you later Ang"
After Angela left Rachel didn't know what to do with herself. She felt like she needed to get out of the house but knew she couldn't do that with Olivia and Daisy upstairs.
In the end she ended up finding some photo albums from her university days and having a look through them. Looking at the photos felt so bittersweet. There were so many precious memories but now looking at them just made Rachel feel sad because Vicky was gone.
Rachel was so preoccupied with the photos that she didn't hear Daisy walk into the kitchen.
"Rachel"
Rachel looked up and saw Daisy. Her face was puffy from crying.
"Good morning sweetheart, do you want to come over for a cuddle?"
Daisy nodded before going and climbing onto Rachel's lap.
"You've had a nice lie in, it's nearly eleven o clock"
"I'm hungry"
"That's good, I'll make you some breakfast. What would you like?"
"Please can I have some toast?"
"Of course you can. You sit there and I'll get you some"
Rachel got some bread out of the bread bin before putting it into the toaster.
"What would you like on your toast?"
"Can I have Nutella?"
"You certainly can"
"Mummy didn't let me have Nutella on my toast very often"
"It is a special treat but I think you deserve it today"
Once Rachel had made Daisy's toast she gave it to her before sitting at the table with her.
"Rachel you know Mummy is in heaven now?"
"Yes"
"Well Daddy is in heaven too so do you think they are together in heaven?"
"Definitely"
"That's good, at least Daddy won't be lonely anymore"
A lump formed in Rachel's throat. She was just glad that Daisy was talking about what had happened, unlike Olivia.
"Where's Olivia?"
"She's in bed still"
Daisy ate her toast before climbing back onto Rachel's lap.
"I want Mummy" Daisy said as she started to cry
"I want her too. I know my cuddles aren't as good as Mummy's but hopefully it will make you feel a bit better"
"Your cuddles are good"
"I'm glad you think so"
Daisy stayed snuggled into Rachel for a while before pulling away.
"Please can I get dressed?"
"Of course you can, would you like me to help you?"
"No it's okay"
Daisy ran off upstairs.
Rachel suddenly thought about collecting more of Daisy and Olivia's stuff. They each had an overnight bag that they'd packed as they were meant to have stayed at their friend's houses last night, but that was it.
She didn't know whether it was best to go alone or bring the girls with her. She decided to give them the choice.
Rachel went upstairs and into Olivia's room.
The curtains were still closed and Olivia was still lying in bed.
"Liv, are you awake?" Rachel asked quietly
"Yes"
"We need to get some of your stuff. Would you like to come or would you rather stay here?"
"Stay here"
"Okay that's fine. I'm going to go in a minute but I'll ask Angela to come over while I'm gone"
"Okay"
"Would you like anything to eat or drink?"
"No I'm fine"
Rachel left her to it again. She really did hope that she would get out of bed soon.
Rachel then asked Daisy who said that she wanted to come.
Angela came over about half an hour later so that Rachel could go with Daisy to Vicky's house.
"Olivia's still in bed, but I'm hoping she's going to get up soon"
"Okay. Are you sure you don't want me to go?"
"I'll go, I need to get out for a bit"
"See you in a bit then"
Rachel left with Daisy so Angela had a look through the photo albums that were still out on the kitchen table.
While she was sat there she also cancelled the holiday she was meant to be going on next week with Sam and Mia. They were going to Antigua for two weeks but that was the last thing she wanted to do now. Angela knew that Mia would be upset about not going, but also knew that she would understand.
About an hour later Rachel returned with some stuff for the girls.
Daisy had packed some of her toys so went into the lounge and played with them.
"That was tough" Rachel said
"I should have gone with you"
"It's okay, one of us needed to be here for Liv. Did she come down?"
"No. I did go upstairs to check on her once but I think she just wanted to be left alone"
"I'm getting worried about her, I don't know how to get her out of bed"
"I could get Mia to come over and watch a film with her. Olivia loves spending time with Mia so that might make her feel a bit better"
"It's worth a shot"
Rachel went upstairs and found Olivia crying her heart out in bed.
"Oh Liv" Rachel said before rushing over and pulling the girl into her arms
"I want my Mum"
"I know you do, I want her too" Rachel said with tears in her own eyes
Rachel held Olivia whilst she cried.
"I'm sorry" Olivia cried
"What are you sorry for?"
"For crying"
"You don't need to be sorry for that. Have a big cry, let it all out"
"It's not fair" Olivia said after a while
"I know it's not. Life can be so unfair sometimes but you're going to get through this"
"Both of my parents are dead"
"I'm here for you Liv and so is Angela. I know living without your parents seems unimaginably hard but things are going to get easier"
"So are me and Daisy living here with you now?"
"As long as you're happy with that" Rachel said and Olivia nodded
"I think you might feel a bit better if you get out of bed and come downstairs"
"Okay"
"How about having a shower? Or I could run you a bath?"
"I'll just have a shower"
"Okay love. Angela said Mia would like to come over and watch a film with you, do you fancy that after your shower?"
"If she wants to"
Olivia didn't really care. She didn't feel like doing anything at the moment but decided to get up and come downstairs for Daisy's sake.
Rachel left Olivia to have a shower before telling Angela that Olivia had agreed to watch a film. Rachel was pleased Olivia was finally up and opening up a bit about how she was feeling.
"Okay I'll go and get her. I also need to tell her I cancelled the holiday"
"Why did you cancel the holiday?"
"It was the right thing to do, we wouldn't have enjoyed it. The funeral's going to be around then too"
"It's such a shame"
"We can book another. Maybe towards the end of summer we could book a last minute thing and go away all together"
"Yeah it would be good for Liv and Daisy to get away at some point this summer. It's the last thing I can think about right now though"
Angela went home to get Mia so Rachel put a load of washing on. It was the last thing she felt like doing, but she needed to keep on top of everything.
A little while later Angela returned with Mia.
"I don't think Olivia will be too much longer now"
"Okay"
Mia's face too looked red and puffy making it obvious she'd been crying.
Olivia came into the kitchen a few minutes later.
"Can I get you something to eat love?"
"I'm not hungry"
"It would be good to eat something"
"I'll have something later"
"Okay"
Mia and Olivia went into the lounge.
Mia had brought over a few DVDs for Olivia to choose from, but Olivia said Mia could decide. In the end Mia went for Wild Child, one of their favourites.
While Mia and Olivia watched the film, Daisy stayed glued to Rachel.
After an hour, Rachel went into the lounge with Daisy on her hip. When she did she saw Olivia and Mia had both fallen asleep on the sofas. She was glad, thinking it would do them both good.
"They're both asleep" Rachel told Angela when she went back into the kitchen
"That's good"
"I'm tired too" Daisy said
"Do you want to go upstairs and have a little nap?" Rachel asked and Daisy nodded
Rachel took her upstairs and got her comfy in the room that would now be Daisy's. Rachel wanted to decorate the girl's rooms as soon as possible to make them more homely for them and so they felt like theirs.
Rachel went back downstairs and sat with Angela.
"You're doing a really good job Rach"
"I'm not so sure"
"Believe me, you are. You're there for them which is exactly what they need right now"
"Thanks for all your help today Ang. I'm not expecting you to have to spend all your time here you know"
"I know. I want to help though. Why don't you and the girls come over to ours for dinner tonight?"
"That would be nice"
"I'm going to go home and make a start on it. Will you tell Mia I've gone when she wakes up"
"Of course"
"See you later Rach"
Angela disappeared leaving Rachel alone in the kitchen.
Rachel couldn't believe she'd lost one of her best friends but was so grateful she still had the other one. They had both been like family to Rachel.