Sorry for the delay in updating this xxx
The following morning Rachel woke up to the sound of her alarm. She'd had an awful nights sleep and imagined that Lexie probably had too.
Rachel had expected and also hoped that Lexie would have come through to her bedroom in the middle of the night for a bit of TLC.
Normally Rachel would have headed straight to the shower but this morning she decided to go and check on Lexie first. She was worried about the girl as she had been through so much the day before.
When Rachel went in Lexie was lying in her bed fast asleep. It was actually a relief for Rachel to know that she was still there and hadn't run off in the middle of the night.
Rachel quietly walked out of the bedroom, she closed the door before heading back to her own bedroom to get in the shower and begin the usual morning routine.
As usual time went by very quickly meaning that Rachel was rushing around so that she could get the girls to school on time.
"How come you're wearing jeans to work today Rachel?" Olivia asked
"I'm not going into work today love. I'm going to work from home and get some paper work done so I can look after Lexie"
"Why isn't Lexie going to school today? Is she poorly?" Daisy asked
Rachel was hoping to wait until Daisy got home from school later to tell her about what had happened to Lexie's Mum but now that she had asked Rachel didn't want to lie to her.
Rachel sat down next to Daisy.
"Lexie isn't going to school today because she's upset because her Mum passed away yesterday"
Daisy's face immediately crumbled at these words as it was clearly a very sensitive topic for her.
Rachel pulled Daisy in for a cuddle and when she looked over at Olivia realised that she was also crying.
"Oh Liv, come here" Rachel said before opening up her other arm so that she could give Olivia a cuddle too
"I know it's horrible girls but it's going to be okay. Lexie's got us and she'll get through it. You girls know how hard it is but you also know that you still have so many people that love and care about you"
"So will Lexie be living here forever now?" Daisy asked
"If that's what she would like then yes" Rachel replied
Daisy and Olivia were still cuddled into Rachel when Lexie came in wearing her school uniform.
"Rachel why didn't you wake me? I'm running really late now"
"I didn't think you'd be going to school today so I was letting you sleep"
"Why wouldn't I be going to school today?"
"Well because of what happened yesterday. I would have thought school would be the last thing you wanted to do today"
"I like school, I want to go"
"I really think it's best if you have a day at home today love"
"I don't want a day here, I want to go to school and see my friends"
"Okay if that's what you want" Rachel said as Lexie got herself a glass of water
"Liv, Daisy go and brush your teeth and make sure you're ready to leave for school in ten minutes"
Olivia and Daisy left the kitchen so Rachel went over to Lexie.
"You don't have to pretend that everything's okay Lexie. You had a massive shock yesterday. It's okay to not be okay" Rachel said as she gently placed her hand on Lexie's arm
"I'm fine, my Mum hasn't been around for months anyway so it doesn't really make a difference"
"Lexie. Your Mum passed away yesterday and even if your Mum hasn't always been the best Mum it's still going to hurt"
"I'm not upset, I'm fine" Lexie said before leaving Rachel stood in the kitchen alone
Rachel went upstairs and changed out of her jeans into some work clothes realising that she would be going to Waterloo Road for the day after all. She had been looking forward to not seeing Max all day.
Once Rachel had changed she quickly sprayed her perfume and put some lipstick on before gathering the girls up ready to go.
Rachel dropped Daisy off to school and had a quick word with Daisy's teacher. From working in a school herself she knew that the news that had upset Daisy this morning could make her upset or disruptive at school.
Rachel then drove onto Waterloo Road with Lexie and Olivia.
Lexie had wanted to walk but as it was raining Rachel had insisted she had a lift.
When they arrived Olivia and Lexie got straight out of the car ready to go off and find their friends.
"Hang on a second Lexie"
Lexie sighed before turning around to face Rachel. She wasn't in the mood to be fussed over today.
"You know where I am if you want me. If you change your mind about wanting to be at school at any moment just come and find me and I'll take you straight home"
"I'll be fine. Have a good day Rach"
"You too" Rachel said smiling weakly
Lexie went off to find her friends so Rachel made her way to her office.
It was a relief to not find Max in the office that they now seemed to share.
Rachel switched on her laptop and got on with some paperwork making the most of the peace. Whenever Max was in there too it made her feel uncomfortable and always took her twice as long to do anything.
Five minutes before the well was due to go Rachel made her way to the staff room. She wanted to inform all the teachers about Lexie's situation.
Everyone was really shocked when they found out but even more shocked when they realised Lexie was going to be in school today.
"Surely she'd be better off at your house today Rachel. School must be the last place she wants to be" Steph said
"I tried to persuade her not to come in but she was having none of it. If you notice the slightest of problem with Lexie send her to me or tell me right away. She's trying to hide from her feelings at the minute but I'm sure they will catch up to her at some point"
After the bell went Max made his way over to Rachel.
"I think you should have insisted Lexie stay at home today Rachel. She's probably going to end up causing a disruption and that's not fair on the other pupils"
"I'm doing what Lexie wants. She's just lost her Mum so I think she deserves to be able to have a choice and not forced to do something she doesn't want to"
Rachel didn't have time for Max's snide comments today so walked away before he could respond to her.
Rachel left the staff room and gathered Lexie's five best friends out of their form rooms before finding a quiet space to talk to them.
"I don't know if Lexie said anything to you this morning or not but sadly Lexie's Mum passed away last night and I thought you should know"
By the looks on the girls faces Rachel could tell Lexie hadn't told any of them. Rachel had a feeling this might be the case.
"Lexie seemed fine this morning. Well she was a bit quiet but who isn't first thing in the morning. I had no idea" Jess said
"She's putting on a brave face but I know she's hurting a lot deep down"
"There's no way I would be at school if it were my Mum. Poor Lexie, it's so awful" Abbey said sadly
"She insisted on coming to school today. Don't bring it up if Lexie doesn't but I just wanted you all to know so that you can be there if Lexie does need you. Please come and tell me girls if Lexie gets upset"
"We will miss"
Rachel stayed with the girls until the end of tutor period. They were all really upset by what Rachel had just said and needed a little while to process it.
After the bell for first period went the girls went off and Rachel went up to her office.
Jess and Abbey were in Lexie's tutor group. Lexie waited until they got back before walking to science for their first lesson as they were all in the same class.
Jess and Abbey came in and picked up their bags straight away.
"What was that all about? You were gone ages" Lexie asked
"Miss Mason just wanted to talk to us" Jess replied
"She told you about my Mum didn't she?"
"We're so sorry Lexie" Abbey said before wrapping her arms around Lexie and giving her a hug
Jess did the same once Abbey had stopped.
"We're here for whatever you need" Jess said
"Thanks but I'm fine. She was a crap Mum so I don't care"
"She was still your Mum though Lex, you must be upset" Abbey said
"I don't want to talk about it" Lexie suddenly snapped
"Okay we won't talk about it. But if you change your mind then we can" Jess said
Lexie ignored Jess' comment before making her way to the science block.
Abbey and Jess followed closely behind.
Mr Mead let them into the classroom so Lexie sat on her stool before getting her things out.
Lexie tried to concentrate but she found her mind kept wandering off.
This didn't go unnoticed by Mr Mead but he didn't make anything of it.
At the end of the lesson Mr Mead asked Lexie to stay behind.
Lexie sighed realising Rachel must have told all of the teachers still.
"I'm fine. Yes my Mum died yesterday but I'm fine. Why can't everyone just leave me alone" Lexie shouted before storming past everyone who was walking out of the classroom
Lexie headed to French and couldn't concentrate there either. At breaktime she spent the whole time in the toilets as she didn't want to be around anyone else. Part of her was wishing she hadn't come into school today after all.
After break Lexie had English so she made her way to Mr Clarkson's classroom.
Normally Lexie sat next to Amy in English but she didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment so sat on a table on her own at the back. She put her bag on the other chair as she was really hoping nobody would sit next to her.
Lexie was relieved when everyone had come in and nobody had sat down beside her.
Once again Lexie couldn't concentrate in English.
She couldn't stop the memories about her Mum that kept coming into her head.
Lexie was thinking back to a time when she was about 10 and she'd gone out with her Mum for a walk by this river. Nothing special had happened but Lexie could remember feeling really happy in that moment while they were walking along.
But then she remembered the night of that day when her Mum had gone out before they'd even had tea.
After a while Lexie got really hungry and didn't know when her Mum was coming back so she decided to make herself some beans on toast.
Just as it was ready Lexie's Mum and some man came into the house and made Lexie to jump causing Lexie to drop the plate and spill her tea all over the floor.
Her Mum shouted at her and after that Lexie had ended up going to bed with no tea.
Lexie hated thinking about all of the bad memories she had with her Mum but she couldn't seem to stop the memories from flooding back.
Mr Clarkson startled Lexie as he placed his hand on her arm.
"Lexie, why don't you step outside for a bit?"
It was only now that Lexie realised she was crying. The tears were running down her cheeks and she couldn't stop them.
Feeling really embarrassed, Lexie stood up and practically ran out of the classroom.
Mr Clarkson followed her out but by the time he got outside Lexie had run off.
He immediately went back into the classroom and sent Amy to find Rachel.
"Amy go and find Miss Mason and tell her Lexie's upset and has run off. The rest of you read the next chapter of Of Mice and Men"
Tom wanted to go and look for Lexie but he couldn't leave his class.
Amy rushed up to Rachel's office. Luckily she was in there so went straight in.
"Where's Lexie?" Rachel asked knowing Amy would be here about Lexie as soon as she saw the girl
"I don't know Miss. She was crying in English so Mr Clarkson told her she could go outside but then she ran off before he went out after her"
"Okay, thanks for letting me know Amy. I'll look for her now"
"I'll help you"
"No you need to get back to your lesson"
"She could be anywhere though Miss. We've got more chance of finding her if we both look" Amy said clearly very worried about her friend
"Okay but I want you to ring me as soon as you find her. I'll give you my number"
"I will"
"Right, I'm going to look in the English and languages block. You go to maths and science block and look around there"
Rachel and Amy split to try and find Lexie.
Tom saw Rachel through the window of his classroom so went out.
"Rachel have you found Lexie?" Tom asked as he caught up to Rachel
"No I've looked in the English toilets but she wasn't there. I'm going to head to the languages block"
"I should have been quicker. Do you want me to help you look?"
"No you need to stay with your class. Amy's helping me though. I'm sure Lexie just needs a bit of space"
"She looked really upset"
"Don't worry Tom, I'll let you know once I've found her"
"Thanks" Tom said before going back into his classroom
Rachel was heading to the French toilets when the bell went which definitely wasn't good timing.
Rachel had a quick look out of the window to see if she could see Lexie outside anywhere before heading to the French block.
She came across a group of year 7's stood outside of a classroom unsure of what to do.
"Miss there's someone crying in there. We don't know whether to go in or not" one girl said
Rachel looked in and saw Lexie at the back crying hysterically.
"No don't go in, you can go to the canteen. James and Harry stay here and tell Miss Lipsett and the rest of your class to go to the hall when they arrive
Rachel quickly called Amy to tell her that she'd found Lexie and to tell Mr Clarkson and then head to her next class. She then walked into the classroom and closed the door behind her.
"I'm sorry, I can't stop crying" Lexie said as Rachel sat down on the floor next to her
Rachel put her arm around Lexie and pulled her into her chest.
"You don't need to apologise for crying, just let it all out"
Lexie turned her head into Rachel and let the tears fall from her eyes.
She didn't know why she was crying so much but she just couldn't stop.
Rachel rubbed Lexie's back as she continued to cry.
"I didn't get chance to say goodbye to Mum. The last thing I said to her was that I wished she wasn't my Mum"
"Your Mum will have known you didn't mean it"
"How do you know?"
"She would just have been able to tell. You have a heart of gold Lexie so she would have known you'd only said it in the heat of the moment because you were angry"
"I can't believe I'm never going to see her again. I know she was a crap Mum but we did still have good times sometimes"
"I know you did and you'll always have those memories of her"
"Most of the memories I have are bad ones though"
"Just try not to think about those. Think about the times where you had fun and your Mum made you laugh or told you she loved you"
"Mum hardly ever told me she loved me"
"She might not have said it but I'm sure she loved you so much. Just like so many other people do. You are surrounded by people who care about you so much Lexie so you don't need to go through all of this alone"
"I was horrible to my friends earlier. They were trying to be nice but I kept shutting them out"
"They'll understand. For now though how about we head home. I'll run you a nice hot bath and then maybe you could try and have a nap because I'm guessing you didn't get much sleep last night"
"I hardly slept at all"
Lexie pulled away from Rachel and wiped away her tears.
"I'm sorry I've got your top all wet" Lexie said after noticing the wet patches she'd made on Rachel's blouse
"That doesn't matter in the slightest"
Rachel and Lexie both stood up.
"Are you ready to go now?" Rachel asked and Lexie nodded
"Okay I'll go and get my things from my office and then we'll head off. Where's your bag?"
"I left it in Mr Clarkson's classroom"
"Okay let's go and find him and get it"
"I don't want anyone to see me, I must look a right state"
"You just look like someone who's upset. Don't worry, everyone should be in lessons now so we shouldn't see anyone much"
They went to Mr Clarkson's classroom and Lexie waited outside while Rachel went into get her bag. They then went to get Rachel's stuff before Rachel drove them home.
When they got in Rachel ran a bath for Lexie. She shouted when it was ready however Lexie didn't come up.
Rachel went to look for Lexie and found her in the lounge looking at a photo Rachel had recently printed off of her, Lexie, Olivia and Daisy and put in a frame.
Lexie was going to miss living with Rachel, Olivia and Daisy so much. She'd only been staying with Rachel for a few months but they all seemed like family to her now. She'd finally got the chance to feel part of a family but now she had to go back to feeling alone again which she really didn't want.
"Your bath's ready love"
"Thanks Rachel"
Lexie put the photo back before slowly going up the stairs. She didn't have the energy to move quickly.
Lexie ended up staying in the bath for a long time but eventually got out when the water started to go cold.
She changed into some clean pyjamas before climbing into bed.
Rachel came into check on her.
"Are you going to try and have a nap?"
"Yeah I don't think I'll be able to but I'm going to try"
"Okay I'll leave you to it. Just come and get me if there's anything you want or if you want some company"
"Aren't you going back to school?"
"No I'm going to do some paperwork here for the rest of the afternoon"
"Would you maybe lie with me for a bit? You don't have to stay for long"
"Of course I will. I'll stay for as long as you'd like me to"
Rachel climbed into bed next to Lexie and laid down next to her.
"I don't want to go into care" Lexie suddenly said
"You aren't going into care my love, don't you worry"
"I'm not old enough to live by myself, I'll be forced to"
"Nobody's expecting you to live on your own or go into care. You can continue to live at my house like you have been for the last couple of months, that doesn't need to change"
"Why would you let me do that?"
"Because I care about you Lexie. You've been through so much and I want to be there for you, there's no way I'm letting you go into the system"
"I love you Lexie" Rachel said truthfully after Lexie burst into tears and hadn't said anything
From the sounds of it Lexie had an awful childhood and hadn't been told that she was loved enough. Rachel had grown extremely close to Lexie and really did mean what she'd just said.
Lexie looked at her head teacher shocked and touched by what she had just said.
"Would you really want me to live with you?"
"Of course I would. I love having you around the house and I know for a fact that Olivia and Daisy really do too"
"I don't want to get in the way"
"You won't. I know we aren't a conventional family but that's what I see the three of you as now, my family"
This just made Lexie cry harder. She'd never been shown so much love and warmth before.
"I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't mean to make you cry even more"
"I just assumed I'd have to move out of here and I really didn't want to because I love it here. These have been the best couple of months of my life"
"You can stay for as long as you want to. I'm sure the next few months are going to be really difficult but I'm here for you"
"Thank you. I'll be okay though"
"I'm sure you will but whatever you do please keep talking to me about how you're feeling"
Lexie didn't reply to Rachel. She didn't know how well that would go. Talking about how she was feeling had never been something Lexie was good at and she couldn't imagine that changing anytime soon.
Rachel and Lexie fell into a comfortable silence and after a while Lexie did fall asleep.
Rachel was relieved that Lexie had confided in her and hadn't tried to hide her emotions.