Warning: this chapter is centred around suicide. Please don't read if it will upset you.
Admitting that she'd been bullied by Max Tyler, was the best thing Rachel could have done. Everyone had been so supportive and believed everything she'd said. Rachel just wished she'd done it sooner as she was so much happier now. She was back in control of Waterloo Road and able to put her focus into what really mattered; the pupils.
Rachel and the girls had had a really nice weekend together but were now getting ready for another week of school.
As usual it was a bit of a rush trying to get out of the door but eventually they managed it only five minutes later than planned.
Rachel dropped Daisy at breakfast club before driving to Waterloo Road with Lexie and Olivia.
"I had a text from Angela saying she's got to work a double shift so Mia's going to stay with us tonight"
"Okay cool" Lexie said excited to have Mia over to stay on a school night
Once Rachel had parked up, she said goodbye to Lexie and Olivia before making her way up to her office.
A few pupils had started arriving already but it was still quite early.
Rachel got on with some paperwork. She was surprised hen she saw the time and realised she'd already been at work for an hour.
Rachel got up from her desk to stretch her legs and made herself a cup of coffee. When she got back to her desk she saw she had a text from Eddie saying how much he was looking forward to seeing her tonight.
The pair of them were meeting tonight to talk about where they stood. Since their kiss a few weeks ago Rachel had said she needed time to think but now she felt she was ready to talk to Eddie about it all.
Rachel didn't have time to reply though as Bridget popped her head around the door to say there were two police officers here to see her.
"Okay send them in, thanks Bridget"
Two police officers turning up at the school was never a good sign so Rachel immediately felt worried about what they were going to say.
A female and male officer walked into Rachel's office. Both of them had very serious expressions which only heightened Rachel's worry.
Rachel closed the office door and gestured for the police officers to sit down.
"Miss Mason, I'm afraid we have some news concerning Isabella Jones. We believe she's a pupil here?"
Isabella was a very confident and outgoing year 9 pupil. Though recently she'd seemed very subdued and not herself at all.
"Yes that's right. What's happened to Izzy?"
"I'm afraid to have to say that Izzy's Mum found her dead on Saturday morning"
Rachel couldn't believe the words that had just come out of the police officer's mouth.
It took a while before Rachel could form a sentence to reply.
"What happened?"
"We believe she took an overdose"
"She committed suicide?"
"I'm afraid so"
Rachel sat down. She felt sick to her stomach after what she'd just been told.
"We realise this is a massive shock. If you want a few minutes before we talk, that's fine"
"I'm okay. Is it okay if I get a couple of other members of staff up here? I think they should be up here for this"
"Of course"
Rachel asked Bridget to get Chris and Kim up to her office straight away.
After five minutes Kim and Chris were both up in Rachel's office. They were equally as shocked and sad as Rachel after hearing the news.
"Were you aware of any issues Izzy was having at school?"
"She's been quieter than usual but I haven't noticed anything too serious" Kim replied
"Do you know if she was being bullied?"
"Not as far as I'm aware"
"We've spoken to a couple of Izzy's friends who told us that she was being bullied online and was having a lot of problem with trolls"
"I had no idea. If I did I would have tried to help" Rachel said
"Izzy's parents were unaware too. Izzy made her friends not to tell them because she didn't want to worry them"
The police officer went through the details with Rachel, Kim and Chris.
Rachel's eyes were filled with tears. The thought of one of her pupils struggling so much she thought her only option was to end her own life was unbearable.
"Have you spoken to Izzy's parents about whether they're happy for us to tell her year group?" Rachel asked beginning to think about how they were going to handle things in school today
"Yes, they've given permission for you to do so. They've also said they think it's important they're told the truth"
"Okay. I'll get in touch with her parents and say they're welcome to come in for a chat, when they're ready. Is it okay if I tell them today?"
"That would be best. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before the news will get into the school anyway"
The police officers asked all the questions they needed to before leaving.
Rachel, Chris and Kim sat down to figure out the best approach for today.
"How's best to do it? Should we get the year 9 form tutors to tell their tutor groups?" Kim suggested
"No I think it's best I tell them in an assembly. There's no need to put several members of staff through having to find the words to tell them the awful news. We'll inform the staff at breaktime and then call an emergency assembly for the year 9s in third period. Kim, I know Izzy was extremely close with Beth and Gemma. Is there anyone else, I'm thinking we should tell any of her close friends not in the assembly, although I'm imaging it's Beth and Gemma that spoke to the police so they probably already know"
"She's… was… a very popular girl and mixed with a lot of people but I think Beth and Gemma were the only two she was really close with"
"Okay. I'll ask Bridget to send them up to me now and we can speak to them before break"
"Everyone's going to be devastated. It's going to be awful for them having to be in school today" Chris said
"I know but we don't have a choice. It's too short notice to send them home"
"What advice are we going to give to the staff?" Kim asked
"We'll tell them to not bother with any year 9 lessons today and to just allow the pupils to have the time to talk to one another in their classrooms. They'll need to look out carefully for anyone who is extremely upset so that we can give them support and there may be a few who will need to be collected by their parents"
After Rachel, Chris and Kim had sorted out the plan Rachel asked Bridget to get Beth and Gemma.
Bridget looked to see which classes they were in.
"Beth and Gemma are both absent today" Bridget informed her
"Okay, thanks Bridget" Rachel said. She wasn't surprised that neither of them were in school. She knew they were going to have a hard time dealing with this and would need a lot of support when they returned to school
"One more thing Bridget. Can you email all teachers telling them to come to the staffroom at breaktime and make sure they realise it's important"
"Of course, Miss Mason"
Rachel spent the rest of second period trying to figure out what on earth she was going to say. By the time break time came around she still had no idea how she was going to find the words to tell Izzy's friends and peers what had happened.
After telling the staff at break time, Rachel made her way to the assembly hall and waited for the year 9 classes to come into the hall.
Rachel watched as they started to walk in, all blissfully unaware of what had happened. There was a lot of chatter as everyone wondered why they'd been called for an emergency assembly.
Once the classes were all in the hall Rachel stood at the front of the stage.
"I'm afraid the reason I've called this assembly is absolutely terrible. What I'm about to tell you is going to come as a massive shock but I want you to know that all of the staff here are going to give you all the support they can" Rachel said
The pupil's faces all turned incredibly serious wondering what their head mistress could be about to tell them.
Rachel knew now she just needed to come out and say it but she was struggling to say the words.
"Do you want me to say it?" Chris whispered who was stood next to her
"It's okay, I've got it. Thank you" Rachel replied quietly
She couldn't hold off any longer. She just needed to say it.
"I'm so sorry to have to tell you that Izzy Jones passed away at the weekend; she took an overdose and ended her own life. I was unaware of this until this morning, but Izzy was being bullied and trolled online and they think that's the reason she did it" Rachel said with tears in her eyes
The room was filled with complete silence. Nobody knew what to say.
"I know you've probably got a lot of questions and we're going to do our best to answer all of them. Izzy's parents don't want us to hide anything from you; they think you should know the truth"
Rachel was struggling to speak so Kim stepped in.
"We're going to send you back to your classes in a minute but there won't be any lessons taking place for you today. Use the time to speak to each other and let yourselves be upset. Don't be afraid to show how you're feeling. If you feel you can't be in the classroom, let your teacher know and they'll send you to Miss Mason, Mr Mead or myself and we'll talk to you or find you a quiet place to go"
Rachel watched as the pupils left the hall. Nobody was speaking and they all looked absolutely devastated.
"What are we going to do about the rest of the school?" Kim asked once they'd all left
"I guess they all need to know too. I'll have to call another assembly for them"
"I can do it Rachel. Then you can concentrate on year 9s" Chris said knowing how much Rachel had struggled with that one. It wasn't fair on her to do have to do another one
"Thanks Chris, I really appreciate it"
Rachel spent the rest of the day talking to the year 9s to answer their questions and try as best as she could to comfort them. She'd also had a lot of discussions around having a memorial service in school for Izzy. A few of the year 9 girls ended up in states meaning they had to be collected from school early by their parent's.
Rachel had to admit she was relieved when the school bell went. Today had been exhausting and she couldn't wait to get home. She knew the next couple of weeks would be difficult and she was going to do everything she could to be there for the pupils.
Mia was the first to come up to Rachel's office after the bell went.
Rachel looked up and it looked as though she'd been crying.
"Mia, are you okay?" Rachel asked sounding concerned
"Yeah, I'm fine"
"Really? Because you don't look it"
"I just can't stop thinking about Izzy. I didn't know her that well but she's been to a few parties that I've been at recently and I've spoken to her a few times. It's just so awful, I can't believe what she was going through" Mia said before bursting into tears
Rachel immediately engulfed her into a hug.
"I know, it's absolutely awful"
It wasn't long before Lexie and Olivia walked into the office together so Mia pulled away and wiped away her tears.
Olivia had been to see Rachel earlier as she'd got a bit upset about had happened. She hadn't seen Lexie yet though.
"How are you girls doing? I know today's been an awful day"
"I can't believe it. It's such a shock" Lexie said
"I know. I really wasn't expecting that today was going to be such an awful day. Come on, let's get home"
They went to collect Daisy from school before driving home.
"I need to go home to pack my stuff" Mia said once they were out of the car
"Okay, why don't you go with her Lexie?" Rachel suggested as Mia still seemed really upset and Rachel didn't want her staying at home on her own all upset
Lexie and Mia went to get Mia's stuff so Rachel went inside with Olivia and Daisy.
Olivia went straight upstairs to change out of her uniform and Daisy went into the kitchen as she wanted a snack.
Rachel cut up an apple and put it on a plate with some Maryland cookies for Daisy.
"I'm just going to change out of my work clothes Daisy" Rachel said to Daisy before going upstairs
Rachel went up to her bedroom and shut the door before calling Eddie. The last thing she wanted to do tonight was go out for a meal with Eddie.
It didn't take long for Rachel to pick up.
"Hi Rachel, how are you?"
"I'm… ok. How about you?"
"Good thanks. I can't wait to see you tonight"
"About that Eddie…" Rachel started but Eddie cut in
"Please don't cancel our plans. We really need to talk. I understand you're nervous but…"
Now it was Rachel's turn to cut in.
"I'm not ringing to cancel on you Eddie. I've had an awful day and I don't think I can face going out tonight so I was going to ask if you would mind coming over here instead?"
"Oh, I see. Of course not, that's fine"
"Thank you. I'm sure we can still find a chance to talk with no kids around"
"Why was your day awful?" Eddie asked
Rachel told Eddie about what had happened. She'd spent a lot of the day wishing Eddie was there to help her deal with everything.
After speaking with Eddie Rachel started to change out of her work clothes.
She was halfway through changing when Daisy came in.
"Rachel why are you taking so long to get changed? You came up here ages ago"
"Sorry love, I had to phone Eddie first"
Daisy sat on Rachel's bed while she finished getting changed.
"You know I was meant to be going out for tea tonight, so Lexie and Mia were going to look after you?"
"Yeah"
"Well I'm not going out anymore. Eddie's coming over instead"
"Why?"
"I just don't feel much like going out, I'm feeling a bit tired. Anyway do you want to put a film on in the lounge? I'll come in and watch it with you once I've done a few jobs"
"I'll go and choose one"
"Don't wait for me to start it"
Rachel didn't really intend on doing any jobs. She wanted to speak with Lexie, Mia and Olivia about what had happened.
She found the three girls and asked them all to come into the kitchen.
Rachel quickly checked that Daisy was settled before going into the kitchen and closing the door behind her.
"I know none of you were in Izzy's year but I just wanted to check how you're all doing? I know today's been horrible"
Lexie and Olivia both started talking with Rachel but Mia remained quiet. She still looked really upset.
"Do you want me to phone your Mum Mia and ask her to come home?"
"She has to work"
"I know. But if you're upset I'm sure she'd be able to leave. Your Mum would want to be there for you"
"I'll be okay. I just can't stop thinking about it and imagining her in her room… you know when she did it"
"Try not to imagine it. I don't think she would have felt any pain"
"What if she changed her mind but then it was too late?" Olivia asked
"That's not worth thinking about. Izzy was in a really bad place but what she should have done is talked to someone. That probably would have made the difference" Rachel said sadly
"Why didn't she?" Mia asked
"She didn't want her parents to worry but it got too much for her to handle on her own"
"We watched some of her videos earlier, the comments are horrific. I didn't even know she had a YouTube channel" Lexie said
"People seem to be a lot braver with what they say to people when they're behind a computer screen." Rachel said
"The things they were saying aren't even true. Izzy was so pretty and nice" Mia said
Rachel was glad that Mia was starting to talk through how she was feeling
"I know. I don't understand how people can be so mean. If anyone is horrible to you online, well or in person, I want you to come and tell me straightaway. Well it doesn't have to be me, but make sure you tell someone" Rachel said and all three girls nodded in agreement
"Talking is so important. There's nothing that can't be dealt with. No matter what happens, there is never any reason to end your own life. No matter how bad things seem, it will always get better"
Rachel really wanted to have this conversation with the girls to make sure they knew that no matter what situation they ever got into, ending their life was never the answer.
After talking with the girls, they all went into the lounge and watched the film with Daisy. Luckily, Daisy hadn't found out about what had happened.
After a while Eddie arrived so Rachel went and let him in.
He'd brought wine so Rachel went and got them both a glass before they went back into the lounge.
"I really don't feel like cooking tonight. Is Chinese alright with everyone?" Rachel asked but she knew they'd all be delighted with a Chinese
After deciding on what they wanted Rachel phoned up to order it.
By the time they'd eaten everyone was really full and they still had loads left. Rachel always managed to order too much when they had a takeaway.
"You do this every time Rach" Eddie said laughing
"Yeah well it's nice to have a variety, isn't it? You can take some and have leftovers for lunch tomorrow"
"I might just do that"
After tea Lexie and Mia headed upstairs and Daisy and Olivia both went into the lounge.
"Rach, can we talk now?" Eddie asked once they'd cleared up
He was dying to know what Rachel was thinking. Eddie knew that he would get back together with Rachel in a heartbeat but he had no idea if she would do the same. Especially now, he knew she'd be thinking about the girls as well as herself.
"Okay. I think Olivia and Daisy are in the lounge so are you happy to sit out here?"
"Fine by me" Eddie said before taking a seat at the breakfast bar
Rachel nervously went and sat by Eddie. She knew what she was going to say but she couldn't help but be scared that it was the wrong decision.
"How are you doing now Eddie? I know how much you were looking forward to having another baby"
"It's been tough but it's getting easier with each day that's gone by"
"I went to see Melissa the other day. We ended up in a fight and I haven't spoken to her since"
"I've spent a lot of time thinking"
"Me too"
"And have you made any decisions… about where we stand?" Eddie asked
Rachel looked at Eddie and took a deep breath.
"I'd like to give things another go with you. If that's what you want too, Rach"
Eddie couldn't believe the words that Rachel had just said. He had been fully expecting her to say they should just stay as friends; of course Eddie was hoping she'd say she wanted more though.
"Of course I do Rachel. I love you so much and I'm never going to let you go again" Eddie said with a massive grin on his face
The pair leaned in and enjoyed a long kiss.
"We need to take things slowly though Eddie. I've got the girls to think about too now"
"We'll take things as slowly as you want. When are you planning on telling the girls?"
"I've already asked them how they would feel. I didn't want to start anything with you if they weren't going to be happy with it"
"I take it none of them minded?"
"No. They were really happy about it actually, Lexie especially"
The pair of them stayed talking for a while before Rachel noticed the time.
"Oh wow, it's half past seven. I'd better get Daisy to bed"
"Okay. Would you like me to go or can I stay for a bit longer?"
"You can stay for as long as you like Eddie. Well not all night"
Really Rachel would have loved to have spent the night with Eddie but this wasn't something she could rush into with the girls around.
Rachel went up and put Daisy to bed before returning downstairs.
Olivia stuck something on Netflix. Neither Eddie or Rachel were really concentrating on it though. They were just enjoying every second of being back together. They kept looking at each other and smiling.
Suddenly Lexie appeared at the door.
"Rachel, can I speak to you please?" Lexie asked
"Of course you can"
Rachel stood up and went into the hallway with Lexie.
"What's up love?"
"Me and Mia were talking about Izzy again and now Mia's crying loads and I don't know what to do to make her feel better. Do you think we should call Angela?" Lexie explained sounding really worried
"Thanks for letting me know. Why don't you go and sit in the lounge with Eddie and Liv for a bit, I'll go and speak to Mia. I'll try and calm her down and if not I'll give Angela a ring"
Rachel went up the stairs and found Mia in floods of tears.
"Oh love" Rachel said before going over to her
Rachel sat down by Mia.
"I think I could've stopped Izzy from doing it" Mia blurted out though she could barely get her words out because she was crying so much
"What do you mean?"
"She told me about the trolls at a party. I found her in the toilet upset and she told me but that was the last time I spoke to her. I should have told someone and checked she was okay"
"This is not your fault Mia"
"I thought I made her feel better. I told her to ignore them because what they were saying was a load of rubbish. After we'd spoken she was smiling a bit and then she went off with some boy"
"I'm sure you did make her feel better. I bet your support meant a lot to her that night" Rachel said as she took hold of Mia's hand
"But if I'd have told you or someone about it then she could have got the help she needed"
"I promise you Mia, this isn't your fault. The only reason that Izzy isn't with us anymore is because of those horrid, horrid bullies"
"I want my Mum" Mia cried
"Okay, I'm going to give her a call sweetheart and see if she can leave work"
Rachel phoned Angela but she didn't answer.
"She didn't pick up. I'm sure she'll ring back as soon as she sees the missed call but she could be in surgery or something"
Mia put her head in her hands. She was finding this all so difficult and couldn't help but feel that she could have done more despite not knowing Izzy that well.
Rachel pulled Mia into her chest and gave her a much needed hug.
"I know this isn't as good as a cuddle from your Mum, but maybe it will help"
Rachel held Mia and eventually Mia started to calm down.
"How about I run you a bath and then the best thing you can do is try and get some sleep"
"Okay, that would be nice thank you"
Rachel ran a bath for Mia before calling her through.
"Your bath's ready love. Try not to think about things too much. You need to switch off and realise that you have done nothing wrong. Okay?"
"Okay. Thanks Rachel"
Rachel left Mia to it and went back downstairs. She felt so sorry for Mia and wished there was something she could do to make her feel better and stop her from feeling so guilty.
It had been a hard day and Rachel was so glad to have Eddie here with her helping her through it.
Later that evening, Angela phoned Rachel after listening to her voicemail.
Rachel explained what Mia was so upset about so Angela said she would come home straightaway.
When Rachel went to check on Mia though she was fast asleep.
"Okay well if she wakes up and wants me again, ring me and I'll come straight home" Angela said
"I will do Ang, see you tomorrow"
"See you tomorrow. Thank you so much for being there for her Rach"
Rachel then went back down to Eddie.
"I suppose it would be okay for you to stay tonight… that's if you want to" Rachel said as she didn't fancy being on her own tonight
Eddie grinned at Rachel.
"Of course I want to" Eddie said before they both headed up to bed
Unsurprisingly, Rachel took ages to get to sleep. She had too much on her mind and couldn't stop thinking about what she was going to do to help her pupils after the loss of Izzy.