It was a Saturday morning and Rachel was still lying in bed. Usually she'd be up by this time but at the minute, getting up was the last thing she felt like doing. She didn't really have much choice though as she had 3 children living in her house that depended on her.
Lexie came into her bedroom at about 10.
"Morning love" Rachel said offering a weak smile
"Morning. I've been looking for you, I didn't realise you were still in bed"
"I'm feeling a bit lazy this morning. I'm going to get up now though"
Lexie noticed at once that Rachel didn't seem like her normal self.
"Are you feeling poorly?" Lexie asked
"No I feel fine, why?"
"I was just wondering, it's not like you to still be in bed at this time"
"I'm going to jump in the shower now. Would you mind getting breakfast for Daisy if she hasn't already had some?"
"Shall I make some pancakes?"
"No she can just have some toast or cereal today"
"Oh right" Lexie said sounding surprised as Rachel always made pancakes on a Saturday usually
Lexie went downstairs feeling a bit worried about Rachel as she didn't seem very happy. She wondered if she'd had a fall out with Eddie or something.
After another five minutes Rachel forced herself out of bed. She really wasn't looking forward to the day and couldn't wait for it to be over.
Once she'd had a shower Rachel put on a pair of cropped jeans and a t-shirt before scraping her wet hair back into a pony tail. She didn't bother to put any makeup on.
Rachel then went downstairs where Lexie, Olivia and Daisy were all sat at the table having breakfast.
"Why aren't we having pancakes today?" Daisy asked sounding a bit disappointed
"You shouldn't just expect to have pancakes made for you every Saturday" Rachel said sounding more harsh than she'd intended to
Rachel made herself a coffee and the girls ate their breakfast in silence. They'd all picked up on the fact that Rachel was in a bit of a bad mood.
Once she'd made her coffee she took it into the lounge. All she wanted was some peace and quiet.
"What do you think is up with Rachel?" Olivia asked quietly once Rachel was out of ear shot
"I'm not sure. She doesn't seem too happy though" Lexie replied
"Shall I go and give her a cuddle? When Rachel gives me a cuddle when I'm sad it always makes me feel better" Daisy asked
"No it's probably best just to give Rachel a bit of space for now. I'll put our breakfast dishes in the dishwasher and then how about we play a game?" Lexie suggested
"What game?"
"I don't mind you choose"
Olivia didn't fancy playing a game so went upstairs. She fancied seeing her friends so decided to invite some of them over. It was meant to be a nice day so she thought they could do some sunbathing in the garden.
Lexie cleared up from breakfast before going to see if Rachel wanted to play. When she got into the lounge it looked as though Rachel might have been crying but Lexie didn't mention it.
"Rach I'm going to play a game with Daisy. Do you want to play?"
"No I think I'll give it a miss today"
"Okay, we'll probably play outside"
"Okay"
Rachel wasn't being very conversational so Lexie decided to leave her to it and went back to the kitchen.
"What game have you chosen Daisy?" Lexie asked
"Frustration"
"Good choice. Shall we play in the garden?"
"Yeah"
The two of them went outside but Lexie realised she should probably put some sun cream on Daisy as it was already quite hot. Once she'd done that the two of them sat down and played Frustration.
They'd just finished playing when Olivia came outside looking for Rachel.
"Oh is Rachel not out here as well?"
"No last time I saw her she was in the lounge. What do you want her for?"
"Ellie and Holly want to come over so I'm going to ask her if they can"
Olivia rushed off to find Rachel, excited about seeing her friends.
When she got into the lounge Rachel was sat on the sofa just staring into space.
"Rach is it okay if Ellie and Holly come over? We're going to sunbathe in the garden"
"No not today love"
"Why not? We aren't doing anything"
"Because I said no"
"That's so unfair. At least give a reason why they can't come"
"Why can you never just take no for an answer. It's my house and I don't want them to come over. That's my final answer, now stop going on about it"
Olivia went off in a strop. She didn't understand why Rachel was being the way she was. There was no way she wanted to stay in the house with Rachel when she was in such a mood so arranged to go round to Ellie's house instead.
Olivia packed up some stuff before going down to tell Rachel what she was doing.
"Well if I can't have Ellie and Holly over, can I at least go to Ellie's house?"
"Yeah okay. Are you walking over?"
"Yep"
"See you later then"
Olivia really didn't understand why Rachel was being so cold towards her. She really didn't like it and was wondering if she'd done something to annoy or upset Rachel.
After Olivia left Rachel realised she should probably check on Daisy, who was still out in the garden with Lexie.
"Rachel please can we go swimming today?"
"No I don't feel like it today"
"We didn't go last weekend though, please can we go today"
"I don't want to. Maybe Lexie will take you"
Lexie couldn't believe Rachel had said this when she knew how much revision she had to do.
"Well I've got loads of revision to do, I'm about to go and do some now"
Lexie looked at Daisy's disappointed face and felt really guilty letting her down.
"I'll see how I get on and I might have time later. I'm not promising anything though"
"You might have to give it a miss today Daisy I'm afraid"
"I'm going to go and do my revision now" Lexie said before going upstairs
"Rachel please can we make some cookies?"
"I don't really feel like it"
"Oh okay"
Daisy looked a bit upset and Rachel did start to feel bad.
"I'm not feeling up to doing much today love. But how about we stick a film on?" Rachel suggested
It was a lovely day so really it would have been nice to get out and enjoy it but Rachel just couldn't face it.
"Please can we watch Frozen 2?"
"We can watch whatever you like"
The two of them went into the lounge and put the film on. By the time it had finished it was lunch time so Rachel called Lexie down.
Rachel was in a better mood than she'd been in in the morning but she still seemed extremely quiet and not herself.
Lexie was starting to worry that Rachel and Eddie had split up again. She thought it would explain Rachel's mood. Lexie decided to try and find out.
"Is Eddie coming over tonight?"
"No not tonight"
"Why don't you invite him over, we could have a BBQ or something"
"He's probably got plans"
"Have you fallen out with him or something?"
"No. I don't have to spend all my time with him you know" Rachel said sounding snappy again
"Sorry" Lexie said realising she should probably drop it now
After lunch Lexie carried on with her revision. Rachel filled up the paddling pool for Daisy knowing that would keep her occupied for a while.
Olivia left Ellie's house at about 3 as Ellie was going out with her parent's. As she walked through the front door, Olivia was really hoping Rachel wasn't in a mood with her anymore. She'd been thinking about it all day and trying to work out what she'd done wrong.
Olivia looked in the garden straight away expecting them to be out there.
"Hi Liv, I wasn't expecting you back yet"
"Ellie's gone out now"
"Oh right. Did you have a nice time?"
"Yeah it was really good, we just sunbathed and stuff"
Olivia sat down on the sun lounger next to Rachel however Rachel was barely talking to her. In the end Olivia went up to her room trying to figure out why Rachel was in a mood with her.
After another hour Rachel decided to get Daisy out of the paddling pool.
"Time to get out now Daisy"
"Can I have a bit longer?"
"No I think you've had long enough. Come on, out now"
Daisy didn't argue with Rachel and got out before heading upstairs.
Rachel stayed with Daisy while she had a shower and got dressed before going into the utility to sort the washing out.
She then did a bit of ironing before taking everyone's ironed clothes up to their rooms.
After putting her own clean washing away, she sat down on the bed and couldn't help but burst into tears.
Lexie came into her bedroom a little while later and was surprised to see Rachel crying. She hadn't seen Rachel cry very much.
Rachel hastily wiped away her tears but it was a bit pointless really.
"What's wrong Rachel?" Lexie asked feeling really worried as Rachel seemed really upset
"Sorry sweetheart, I'm just having a bit of a bad day"
"Has something happened?"
"Nothing's happened. And before you ask again, no I haven't fallen out with Eddie. I just don't fancy seeing him today"
"You haven't seemed very happy all day"
"I know, I'm sorry"
Rachel realised just how bad she'd handled today and started to feel really bad. She decided it would be best to tell the girls why she'd been in such a mood.
"The thing is there is a reason why I've been horrible all day. I wasn't going to tell you because I didn't want to make a big deal of it, but I think I should have"
"What is it?"
"Can you go and get Olivia and Daisy? I'll tell you all together"
Lexie went to Daisy's room first and sent her through to Rachel before going to get Olivia.
"Liv Rachel wants to speak..." Lexie started but then noticed that Olivia was crying
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing I'm fine"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, what were you saying?"
"Rachel wants to speak to us in her bedroom"
Olivia was nervous now but followed Lexie into Rachel's bedroom.
When Rachel saw Olivia's tear stained face she immediately pulled her in for a hug.
"What's wrong love?"
"I'm okay, it doesn't matter"
"Well it doesn't look like it to me but maybe we could have a chat in a bit when it's just the two of us. Would you prefer that?" Rachel asked and Olivia nodded
"Okay. Well firstly girls, I want to apologise for being in such a bad mood today and being all snappy"
Olivia looked up at Rachel. She didn't realise that Rachel had been in a bad mood with everyone, she thought it was just her.
"I'm finding today a bit difficult but I shouldn't have taken it out on the three of you. That was wrong of me and I am really sorry about that"
"Why are you finding today difficult?" Daisy asked
"Well that's why I've asked you all to come in so that I can tell you. Now I know none of you know this, but the thing is..." Rachel started but she was feeling apprehensive about telling them
She didn't really like talking about it as it always brought back bad memories.
Rachel wiped away a tear that had just fallen from her eye. She knew she just needed to say it, but was struggling to find the words.
"Well the thing is I have a daughter. I had her a long time ago but I couldn't look after her properly so I gave her up for adoption. Today would have been her 21st Birthday" Rachel told them sadly
Seeing Rachel so upset was making the girls really upset too.
"What's her name?" Daisy asked
"I named her Lily because lilies were my Grandma's favourite flower and well unfortunately my Grandma died when I was 10 but I loved her so much. I'm sure the people who adopted her have named her something different so I don't actually know what she's called"
"Have you had any contact with Lily's adoptive parents?" Lexie asked
"No, I asked not to. I thought it would be easier that way"
"Why couldn't you look after Lily properly?" Daisy asked
"Daisy, Rachel probably doesn't want us asking loads of questions" Olivia said to her younger sister
"It's okay. I'm happy to answer all of your questions. I was only 17 when I had Lily and I wouldn't have been able to give her the life I wanted. I wanted her to have the best life possible and so I decided the best thing to do was to give her to a family who could give her a better life than me"
"Did you consider keeping her?" Lexie asked
"Yes. It was the most difficult decision I've ever had to make. I wanted to keep Lily with me more than anything but I did what was best for her. I hope that's the way she sees it anyway"
Rachel answered all of the questions that the girls had. She was glad that they knew about her secret now. It was something that Rachel hardly told anyone.
"This might be a really bad idea and you can say no if you want to, but maybe we could do something to celebrate Lily's Birthday. We could go out for a meal or something" Lexie suggested
"I think that's a lovely idea love. I have to admit that I wasn't feeling much like doing anything earlier but talking to you three about it has really helped me, so thank you. It would be really nice to go out somewhere tonight"
"Okay, where do you fancy going?"
"I really fancy an Indian actually, I'm happy to go wherever though"
"Indian is good with me" Olivia said
They were all happy to have an Indian so they decided to go to their favourite Indian restaurant in town.
"Would you mind if I invite Eddie as well?"
"Of course not. I really thought you'd fallen out with Eddie and that's why you were upset" Lexie replied
"No we haven't fallen out, I promise"
"Does Eddie know about Lily?" Olivia asked
"Yes Eddie is one of the few people who does know. He doesn't know it's her Birthday today though"
They carried on chatting for a bit longer.
"Right Lexie, Daisy are you going to go and get ready to go out? I'll phone and book a table for 6 and see if Eddie wants to come, he has Michael this weekend too"
Lexie, Olivia and Daisy all got up to leave.
"Hang on a sec Liv, I want to talk to you first" Rachel said
Once Lexie and Daisy had gone, Rachel turned her attention to Liv.
"You going to tell me what's wrong now?"
"There's nothing wrong"
"I could tell you'd been crying"
"Oh well I was a bit upset but I'm fine now, honestly"
"What was wrong then?"
"I thought I'd done something that had upset or annoyed you. I didn't realise you'd... well been like it with Daisy and Lexie too"
"I'm so sorry sweetheart. Of course you haven't done anything to upset or annoy me. I'm sorry I made you feel like that"
Olivia really was very sensitive and a big worrier.
"Rachel can I tell you something?" Olivia asked sounding a bit worried
"Of course you can, you can tell me absolutely anything" Rachel replied as she tucked some hair behind Olivia's ear
"I already knew that you had a baby. I heard you and Mum talking about it once. I know I shouldn't have been listening but I couldn't help it"
"How come you never mentioned that you knew? I had no idea" Rachel asked softly
"I didn't know if you'd want to talk about it with me"
"It is something I don't find that easy to talk about and it's also a part of my life that I've put behind me, but you could have told me that you knew. I'm sure you must have had lots of questions. When did you find out?"
"Not that long before Mum... you know"
"Not long before your Mum passed away?"
"Yeah. It was when we came to your house for that BBQ and we stayed over"
"Well in future don't be afraid to talk to me about anything, even if you think it will upset me or make me angry"
"Okay, thanks Rach"
"Anyway I'd better go and get my face sorted. I don't think any of you would want to be seen with me if I go out looking like this" Rachel said as her face was all red and puffy from crying
"You still look nice"
"Thanks love, I know you're lying though" Rachel said laughing
Rachel phoned Eddie, who said he would love to come with Michael, before phoning the Indian and booking a table for them all.
Once that was sorted Rachel got straight in the shower and rewashed her hair as it was in a bit of a state.
After her shower Rachel wrapped a towel around herself, washed her face and rubbed all her creams in before going to her wardrobe to decide what to wear.
She was in the middle of looking through her wardrobe when Daisy came in wearing one of her new pretty summer dresses.
"Rachel please can I wear this dress?"
"Yes that's a good choice, you look lovely sweetheart"
"Thank you. Please will you do my hair for me and then can I sit on your bed whilst you get ready?"
"Yep, come and sit at my dressing table"
Rachel french plaited the top half of Daisy's hair. Whilst she was doing it, Daisy kept glancing at Rachel in the mirror.
"You look happy again now. I didn't like it when you were sad today"
"I do feel a lot happier now. I still feel a little bit sad but you, Olivia and Lexie have certainly made me feel a lot better. Right I'm all done, are you happy with that?"
"Yes thank you, it looks really good"
Daisy then went and sat on Rachel's bed and watched whilst she got ready. This was something she loved doing.
Once everyone was ready they went into town and met Eddie and Michael at the Indian.
They all enjoyed a nice meal and Rachel was really pleased to have seen Eddie. She wished he could stay over tonight but he couldn't because he had Michael.
Rachel put Daisy to bed as soon as they got home as it was way past her bedtime, before going into the lounge to join Lexie and Olivia.
"What do you want to do now Rachel?" Olivia asked
"I don't mind, you girls choose"
"We thought we could watch a film, but we can do something else if you don't fancy it"
"A film is good with me"
They put the film on but Lexie had a question for Rachel that she wasn't sure whether to ask her or not. In the end she decided to just go for it and hoped it wouldn't upset Rachel.
"Rachel you know you said you had Lily adopted because you couldn't look after her properly, was it just because you were so young or was there another reason?" Lexie asked nervously "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to"
"I'm happy to tell you love. I know I didn't give you many details earlier but that was because Daisy was there. Do you mind if I just go and get a drink and then I'll tell you" Rachel said as she gently touched Lexie's arm
"Yeah that's fine"
"I'm going to have a cup of tea. Do either of you want one?"
"I'll have a peppermint tea please" Lexie said
"I'm good thanks Rachel" Olivia replied
Rachel went out and boiled the kettle but then saw an open bottle of red so decided to have a glass of wine instead.
She made Lexie's tea and poured herself a glass of wine before going back into the lounge.
"That doesn't look like tea" Lexie said laughing
"I changed my mind"
Rachel sat herself down again and started telling Lexie and Olivia about why she made the decision to have her baby adopted. She decided to start from the very beginning and be completely honest with the girls.
"Well as you both know my Mum died when I was 5 and Mel was 2. My Dad never had been the best Dad but after Mum died he became even worse. Me and Mel spent most of our time at my grand parents house but when I was 8 my Grandad died of lung cancer and then when I was 10 my Grandma also died" Rachel said as tears began to form in her eyes. Her grand parents were the only ones who had looked after her properly after her Mum died and she still missed them.
"After that it was basically down to me to look after Mel. Our Dad was always working late or just out of the house, so I was the one cooking our meals and putting Mel to bed every night. I think this took it's toll on me and when I was about 15 I went off the rails a bit, I started drinking and smoking and I got in with the wrong crowd. My Dad tried to stop me but by this point my relationship was so strained that I wouldn't listen to anything he said. I started sleeping with this boy who was a couple of years older than me and ended up getting pregnant when I was 17. When my Dad found out he was furious and tried to make me have an abortion. I refused to have one so he kicked me out"
Lexie and Olivia were both shocked by this.
"Did he change his mind once he'd calmed down?" Olivia asked
"No he didn't. The worst bit about it for me was having to leave Mel with him but I didn't exactly have a choice"
Rachel took a large gulp of her wine. This really wasn't something she found easy to talk about but she did want Lexie and Olivia to know the truth.
"So I moved in with my boyfriend which was fine to start with. But after a while he wanted me to start paying my share but I didn't have any money or a job. So when one of his mates offered me the change to make £1000 a week I took it. I thought I didn't have any other option, but obviously I did I just didn't realise it because I was young and naive. So that's how I got into prostitution" Rachel said but she said the last word extremely quietly as even after all this time she still felt so ashamed about it
"So when my baby was born I knew I couldn't bring her up in the life I was leading. I just couldn't as much as I wanted to raise my daughter, so a couple of days after Lily was born I gave her up and haven't seen or heard anything about her since" Rachel said
She was pretty upset by this point and both Lexie and Olivia were crying too. They felt so bad for Rachel having to go through all of this.
"So then what happened?"
"I went back to doing what I was doing to make a living. And a year later my pimp got caught and the police offered me a change of identity and no charges in return for me giving them all the information I knew about him, so that's what I did. That really was the worst year of my life. After it was all over I was diagnosed with depression but I started some counselling sessions and focused on getting the qualifications I needed to go to uni and I managed to pick myself up from rock bottom"
"When did you get back in touch with Mel?" Olivia asked
"About 6 months after I got my new identity. I couldn't face seeing her before because I was so ashamed to admit to her what I'd done"
"I think you were really brave" Lexie said
"Thank you. I certainly didn't feel like it at the time. But if I didn't go through all of that, I don't think I would have become a teacher so that's something positive to take away from it, isn't it"
"Come here girls" Rachel said patting the sofa either side of her as Lexie and Olivia were both visibly upset
Rachel gave them both a hug.
"But it was a long time ago and I got through it. What I really want you two to realise is that no matter what situation you're in, there will always be someone you can go to to get help. If you're in some sort of trouble or a bad situation I hope you feel you can tell me straightaway, but if you can't just make sure you tell someone. Don't struggle alone"
After hearing Rachel's story, Lexie and Olivia both felt even closer to Rachel. They really appreciated how open and honest she'd been with them.
If anyone has an idea for a storyline I could do with Daisy I'd love to hear it. Really want to do a Daisy one but struggling to think of an idea xxx