A/N: Initially, after watching Kamen Rider Gotchard: The Future Daybreak, I found myself with no idea of how to write a story based off it because the movie was, to my astonishment, actually GOOD.
Then I decided to just have Hotaro do his usual shtick in my stories and the rest wrote itself from there.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.
"Insolent Kamen Riders!" The Abyssalis King roared, trying very hard to look as if he was unshaken by his base unexpectedly exploding behind him. He bent his head down, energy charging between his horns as he prepared to fire an attack at the trio of Riders on the ground beneath him-
"Excuse me, Mr. Abyssalis King!" Gotchard suddenly shouted.
The dark giant hesitated. "Eh?"
"Before you try and kill us, I have an important question I was hoping you could answer," Gotchard said.
Majade gave her not-so-secret crush a horrified look. "Hotaro. Hotaro no, please, not this time!"
"Wait, what's going on?" Gotchard Daybreak asked in confusion.
"You don't do this too?" Majade asked in surprise.
"Do what?" Gotchard Daybreak demanded.
"Do you have a penis?" Gotchard loudly asked the Abyssalis King.
Everyone stared at him.
"What?" The Abyssalis King asked.
"What?" Gotchard Daybreak asked the same time.
"You've seriously never done this?" Majade repeated.
"No! Why would I?!" Gotchard Daybreak yelled in confusion.
"Well, he does all the time," Majade said, pointing to his younger self from an alternate timeline.
Gotchard nodded. "Yes, ever since my friend Rinne explained to me how men and women have different things to pee-pee with and I wondered if homunculuseseseses had them too, I've been asking all the alchemical bad guys we run into if they have penises as well so I don't miscegenate them because I'm awake now and so understand everything about Homo sapiens and gander and proverbs so want to make sure I address everyone by the right ones."
"… What?!" Gotchard Daybreak shrieked.
"You've really never-" Majade asked again.
"No! Why, why would I?! When would I have time?!" Gotchard Daybreak shrieked. "I've been spending the last 20 years desperately fighting a losing battle to save what's left of humanity! Half the world has been destroyed! Why would I waste time asking something like that?!"
Gotchard gasped. "For shame, other me! I expected better of you! I never thought any version of me could be so clothes-minded towards people of other saxes!"
Gotchard Daybreak stared at him for a long time, incredulous. "… They never undid the brain damage caused by our getting our memories erased when we were a kid in your timeline, did they?" He suddenly realized.
"The what now?" Gotchard gasped.
Gotchard Daybreak facepalmed. "Oh my gotcha, and here I thought mine was the darkest possible timeline…"
"He's not that bad," Rinne denied, smitten.
"I'm going to kill you now," the Abyssalis King said, deciding to ignore everything that just happened.
"But wait, you never answered my question! What kind of Gentiles do you have? Are you he, she, they, zwei, drei, schway-" Gotchard protested.
The Abyssalis King fired an energy beam from his horns at the ground, sweeping it towards the trio, only for 100 Ride Chemy Cards and 100 Daybreak Chemy Cards to manifest as a shield in front of them, blue and orange energy glowing around them as they repelled the blast right back at the dark Titan, knocking him to the ground.
"Oh good, we're still alive," Gotchard Daybreak said morosely.
"What is happening?" Majade asked in confusion.
"That power might be the Abyssalis King's weakness," Atropos's voice said over Daybreak Smaphone as it hovered down towards them. "A coalescence of hopes and dreams."
The two Gotchards exchanged looks, and the cards all flew away except for Daybreak The Sun. "Take the Chemies' powers!" The deceased Rinne of this timeline said, her spirit manifesting. "Hotaro!"
"Which one, me or him?" Gotchard asked.
"Me, obviously," Gotchard Daybreak snapped angrily at his younger and stupider self. "She's my Rinne, not yours!"
Hopper1 and Steamliner floated towards the Gotchardriver (Daybreak ver.) And called out to their Daybreak versions, all four cards flying out to join Daybreak The Sun and the other Chemies.
HOPPER101! GIGANTLINER!
HOPPER1, SHINING! STEAMLINER, SHINING!
Transmuted into new forms by the power of both sets of Chemies, the cards returned to the hands of their amazed owners.
"Hopper!/Gigantliner!" The cards in Gotchard's hands chirped.
"Hopper!/Steam!" The cards in Gotchard Daybreak's hands chorused.
The two Gotchard exchanged looks, nodded, and then inserted the cards into their Drivers.
HOPPER101! GIGANTLINER!
HOPPER1, SHINING! STEAMLINER, SHINING!
GOTCHA & GO!
RISING SOUL!
MUCHA! GOTCHA! TOGETHER! MIRACLE GOTCHARD!
SHINING DAYBREAK!
One movie-quality transformation sequence later, the duo had become the spectacular Miracle Gotchard and Gotchard Shining Daybreak!
"The Chemies…!" Majade gasped as the cards flew past her, going into the hands of all the refugees they had saved from Geryon's clutches and everyone back at the resistance hideout, not that there was any way she could possibly know that seeing as she was nowhere near either of those places. The only one which stayed was Daybreak The Sun, which she snatched out of the air and looked at expectantly.
"Thank you, other me," the ghost of the parallel Rinne whispered. "I'll do all I can support Hotaro, so you should be with your Ichinose, okay? Because seriously, he really needs it."
And then, to her astonishment, the card dissipated.
"Wait… Wait, where did she go?!" She protested, looking around her in confusion. "And where's Daybreak Unicon? Shouldn't this be the part where I get a new form too?"
Gotchard shook his head. "Oh no, you don't get one of those."
"What? Why not?!" Majade protested.
"Because you're a girl," Gotchard said, as it were obvious.
Gotchard Daybreak and Majade gave him shocked and outraged looks. "What does that have to do with anything?!" Majade asked.
"And what happened to you being awake? I mean, woke?" Gotchard Daybreak demanded.
Gotchard shrugged helplessly. "Sorry, but Kaguya says girl Riders almost never get power ups or new forms. Honestly, you're lucky you get to be a Rider at all, he said it's only in the last few years there's been a steady rise in them, and they're still outnumbered and overshadowed by all the male Riders. I don't make the rules, that's just how it is."
"But… But I could get such a cool form from this adventure!" Majade protested. "I could merge with my alternate timeline self to become even stronger! She's become a Chemy, specifically a new version of one of the ones I use, so why shouldn't I be able to use it?!"
"I dunno, probably sexism," Gotchard said vaguely.
"Seriously?!" She shouted.
While they were arguing, the Abyssalis King got back up. "You think the mere power of the Chemies can stand up to their creator?!" He bellowed. He fired his horn beam the same way as before, almost suspiciously so, as if it were reusing footage from a few minutes ago. No shield made of Chemies appeared to deflect it this time, but the three Riders jumped over the beam instead.
"Yeah! You bet they can!" Gotchard shouted.
"We all have it in us!" Majade declared, still smarting from being denied a cool new form.
"The power to bring our hopes and dreams together!" Gotchard added.
His Driver glowed, and Gigantliner manifested before them.
"Gigant… Liner!"
As the great golden train started steaming towards the shocked Abyssalis King, Gotchard jumped onto it. "Let's go, Kudo, Daybreak!"
"Yeah!" Majade said as she and Gotchard Daybreak jumped on as well.
"LIIIIINEEEER!" Gigantliner cried, chugging ahead at full steam.
Snarling, the Abyssalis King raised a claw, the sky turning red briefly before raining giant spikes on the train, forcing it to switch tracks to keep from being struck, but eventually a couple of lucky spikes managed to get stuck between the wheels, freezing it in place and nearly knocking off the Riders.
Not to be deterred, Gotchard jumped onto the tallest smokestack, chains shooting out of his back and anchoring to the car behind him as thrusters ignited on his legs. Gotchard Daybreak jumped up to do the same thing on a different chimney, only with the thruster firing out of his back instead.
"Dash!"
Majade glanced up as the Goldash card landed in one of her hands.
Growling in frustration, the Abyssalis King's horns glowed, portals opening all around him and flinging energy blasts at the train.
GOKIGENMETEON! KUROANA!
The two Cosmic Chemies suddenly manifested, black holes opening and closing to catch the energy blasts while comets rained down to strike the Abyssalis King. Meanwhile, Majade, riding on Goldash, had anchored herself to the front of Gigantliner, revving the engine. "Yes! Finally, I get to ride a bike!" She shouted gleefully.
"Way to go, Kudo! You know, it's weird, but it's astonishing just how few Riders get to ride their bikes. Most don't even have any! I wonder why that is?" Gotchard wondered.
"I think it has something to do with Japanese road laws in your time," Gotchard Daybreak said. "Of course, with the collapse of civilization, that's not really something I have to deal with anymore."
"Oh, so something good came out of all this after all!" Gotchard said cheerfully.
Gotchard Daybreak stared at him, an incredulous and disgusted look on his face. "Yes, Hotaro, billions of people are dead, everyone I ever loved was murdered, civilization has collapsed, but at least I can ride my motorcycle all I want."
"There's a bright side to everything!" Gotchard said obliviously.
"You can do it! You can do it, Kamen Riders!" Kajiki's voice called from… Somewhere.
"To everyone watching this battle! Put all your feelings in your Chemy Card and send them to the Riders! One, two…! You can can can can do it! Fight on, Riders!" Their new friend Tetsuo shouted.
Everyone in the resistance and the refugees they recently saved joined in on this chant.
"I can hear everyone's voices!" Gotchard cried as his chest began to glow. "Wait, oh no, does this mean I'm insane? Hearing lots of voices is supposed to be a bad thing!"
"No, I hear them too," Gotchard Daybreak told him, his chest also glowing. "But yes, you are insane."
"Oh, okay," Gotchard said. "This must be the part where everyone's cheers reinvigorate us and give us the strength to win! It's happened to me before."
"Lucky," Gotchard Daybreak grumbled just before the two of them shouted, the exhaust from their thrusters getting stronger. Majade, receiving no power up from everyone's cheers, much to her consternation, just revved the engine harder while shouting so as not to feel left out.
Gigantliner's wheels slowly started churning, and then shattered the spikes, allowing the train to begin moving again. Majade quickly steered Goldash to the side to keep from getting run over and jumped on the train as its tracks elevated, bearing it into the air.
"What?!" The Abyssalis King demanded incredulously. "Begone from my sight!"
Energy spears started raining down from the sky, piercing and shattering Gigantliner's cars, but the engine just kept going. Majade and Gotchard Daybreak used the power of The Sun and Daybreak The Sun to make them go even faster.
"Don't underestimate our alchemy!" Gotchard shouted. "With everyone's hopes and dreams together… We're now 3 million times stronger!"
"Where are you getting these numbers from?" A baffled Gotchard Daybreak asked.
"He's terrible at math," Majade said dreamily, much to his discomfort.
Gotchard pressed on Nijigon's head multiple times.
"Gon! Gon! Go-Go-Go-Gon!"
All the broken pieces of Gigantliner's cars froze in mid-fall, then started rising back up. Gotchard jumped straight up, a multicolored arrow forming behind him and encircling him repeatedly as all the debris converged on him.
GOTCHARD! RAINBOW FEVER!
The wreckage was alchemically transmuted to create a giant Miracle Gotchard, which launched into a flying kick, slamming into Gigantliner's engine and propelling it even faster as his leg thrusters ignited and an energy scarf flowed behind him.
"Impossible…!" The Abyssalis King exclaimed in disbelief.
SUNUNICORN! NOVA!
RISING FEVER! RISING FEEEVER!
Majade and Gotchard Daybreak leapt off Gigantliner and launched their own Rider Kicks, the two of them flying towards the Abyssalis King's chest, while Gotchard…
Slammed Gigantliner into the giant's crotch.
The Abyssalis King emitted a high-pitched squeak of pain, clenched his legs together, and exploded.
"Ichinose! Why?!" Majade screamed as they were flung back from the blast.
"I had to know!" Gotchard replied as his massive transmutation fell apart and they landed safely on the ground. "If he had a penis, that would hurt, and if he didn't, then it wouldn't! And since it did hurt, that means he must have been a boy!"
"Actually, Hotaro, it still hurts women if you kick them there," an exhausted Gotchard Daybreak told him.
"Wait, really? Then we still don't know what goose he was!" Gotchard whined. "Kudo, quick, let me kick you between the legs, I need to see if he's right!"
Gotchard Daybreak shook his head incredulously. "You can't really believe she'll actually-" He cut himself off, staring at Majade, who was slowly spreading her legs. "You… You aren't seriously considering it, are you?"
"Um," she said.
"That's messed up," her other self commented.
"What is wrong with you people?!" Gotchard Daybreak demanded.
"GOTCHAAA!" Gotchard suddenly shouted.
"Case in point!"
As the three of them canceled their transformations, they suddenly heard an all too familiar voice. "In that case…"
Three balls of light, the Abyssalis King's eyes, rose from the monster's remains, swirling through the air. "I will go back in time to before you Riders' existence, and begin my conquest anew!"
"You'll have to go pretty far back then," Hotaro said as his one-eyed future self and Rinne gasped in horror, not seeming particularly dismayed. "According to my friend Kaguya, Kamen Riders have been around for thousands of years!"
The eyes dimmed slightly at this. "Thousands – I don't think I can go back that far… Maybe 140, 150 years at most? None of you were born around then, were you?"
"Uhhh…" Hotaro glanced at Rinne. "Kudo, none of us were born back then, were we?"
"No, Ichinose, we weren't," she said with mingled patience, exasperation, and lust.
"Oh, okay, none of us were born back then," Hotaro told the Abyssalis King.
"Splendid!" The Abyssalis King laughed evilly. "Then there shall be none to stand in my way… Or to ask me if I have a penis. I don't even know what that is," he griped, the eyes briefly forming a triangle, causing a time portal to open around them.
"Oh, well, you see-" Hotaro started.
"I don't actually care," the Abyssalis King snapped before vanishing through the portal.
"No… The Abyssalis King…" Rinne moaned.
The older Hotaro stepped forward. "Don't worry. I will handle him. No… We'll handle him no matter what!" He said to Shining Hopper1 and Shining Steamliner.
"Hopper/Steam!"
"From now on," the older Ichinose said to his younger self. "We're not facing the past, but our new future! You two have a future to make, yourselves!"
"Daybreak…" Hotaro whispered, awed by his future self.
The other Hotaro grimaced. "Or that's what I'd like to say, but in all honesty after what I've seen so far of you, younger me, I genuinely think your timeline may even be more doomed than mine is. Like, it would take nothing short of a legendary Hail Mary to save you all."
20 years ago, gorgeous Ho-Oh Kaguya Quartz gorgeously sneezed.
Back in the future, the older Hotaro examined Daybreak The Sun as his younger self pouted and Rinne grimaced. "Let's go, Rinne."
"Where?" Rinne asked in confusion.
"Not you, her!" he snapped.
"Oh, right."
"Okay," the haunted card said.
The future Hotaro held up the Daybreak TimeLord card.
"TimeLord."
The Kamen Rider of Daybreak began fading in and out of existence as a grinding, whirring, sort of 'vwoorpy' sound filled the air. Hotaro waved eagerly to his alternate self, who did not wave back. "Goodbye! I hope I grow up to be as cool as you one day!"
"You won't," the older Hotaro said bluntly before disappearing completely.
Rinne frowned. "Wait a second… Why didn't we just use regular TimeLord to travel here in the first place? Why did we need to take a train?"
"That's what I'd like to know!" Momotaro shouted from the DenLiner as it passed by.
After Hotaro and Rinne said farewell to everyone in the future, went back to their own time, erased Kajiki's memories again, and got dressed to go to a summer festival with everyone, Rinne found Hotaro fretting about the Academy by himself. "What's wrong, Ichinose?"
"I'm just… Worried about the me who went back to the past," he admitted. "You think he's okay?"
Rinne briefly recalled what her other self had told her before vanishing instead of giving her a power up which she had been totally cheated out of, smiled and said, "It's all right," as she retrieved her copy of The Great Path of Alchemy and opened it to the last page, causing him to smile when he saw what was on it. "Let's go to the summer festival."
He nodded. "Okay, Kudo!"
They walked out of the classroom, leaving the book open, showing Gotchard Shining Daybreak, accompanied by Daybreak The Sun and Daybreak Hopper1, Rider Kicking the dying Abyssalis King in the crotch.