A/N: To say I have been disappointed in what this final season of Blue Bloods has given us would be an understatement - so much so that I've actually been staying away from this board because it just reminds me of how great the stories could, but now never will be. Now unfortunately for me I saw the promo pics for the finale and when I saw the one of Jamie and Joe sitting in a hospital waiting room my brain immediately began to conjure up that scene in my head. I tried to repeatedly shut it out but it just kept playing so I had to write it down. This is the result. Now do I think this is how it will actually play out? Based on the rest of Season 14 ptB, not a chance…
End of Tour - Full Circle
Joe walked into the entrance way of the hospital waiting room to see his uncle sitting in a chair, his elbows on his knees – his head in his hands looking stressed and on edge. Taking a deep breath, he walks over "Hey." He gently greets "How's Eddie?"
"Doctors are with her." Jamie mumbles without even looking up "I have to wait out here."
"Oh." Joe accepts before a beat of awkward silence passes "Want some company?" he finally queries in an attempt to be supportive.
With his head already too far down the rabbit hole of guilt, Jamie's only reply is to just indifferently shrug his shoulders so Joe sits down in the chair next to his uncle to again just watch him then knowing he should say something Joe being Joe just goes with "Look, there was nothing you could have done."
But Jamie immediately scoffs in rejection "I could have done all kinds of things differently." He snaps back "I could have never partnered them together in the first place. I could have – and should have…" he decides "…let IBA handle things a few weeks ago. If I had…"
Watching as Jamie places the blame squarely on his own shoulders, Joe suddenly gets what his uncle was talking about months ago back in the cemetery when he laid into him about his father's death.
"Uncle Jamie stop." Joe demands cutting him off before softening his voice "It's not your fault."
"The hell it isn't." Jamie grumbles "He's dead because of me. If I had let IBA fire him he would not have been out there today." He decides before just staring forward off into space again.
"True." Joe admits before trying to reason "But if that was the case it might be Aunt Eddie down in the morgue instead."
Jamie turns his head to glare at his nephew "DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT!?" He harshly hisses out in fear, relief and tons of guilt for even thinking that all rolled into one.
Jamie didn't need Joe reminding him of what happened or what COULD have happened in fact, having him voice these things out loud was only making his jumbled up emotions worse. Joe didn't get it. Joe had never lost a partner. Joe had never been responsible for another cops death so deciding he's had enough of this conversation, Jamie just looks forward off into space again as he retreats back into his own head.
Realizing he did not help the situation with his last sentence at all, Joe winces a bit in regret then takes a breath and tries again "His death is not on you." He reiterates in a softer tone to his uncle causing a slight look of annoyance to appear on Jamie face at Joe pressing on "You didn't pull the trigger and someone wise once told me that he knew the risks. He was doing his job, just like all of us so for what it's worth, I'm sorry."
At hearing that Jamie's face crinkles up in confusion and he again glances at his nephew "What are you sorry for?"
Joe offers his uncle a small apologetic smile "I get it now." Joe replies "The toll it takes. The blame you put on yourself."
Not in to mood, Jamie warns "Joe…" but Joe again continues on "Look back in the cemetery when you were UC you called me out on some things and I just want you to know that I get it now." He reiterates "I know back then my Dad's death wasn't your fault - or anyone in the family's fault - just like I know right now, what happened today wasn't your fault either."
Jamie just stares at his nephew.
"It wasn't." Joe sincerely reiterates "Like you told me then, my Dad was a cop and he made is own decisions and just like today, you had no control over the situation or other's actions and frankly who's too say that even if IAB did fire him he would not have walked out into the street today and got hit by a bus instead anyway. You don't know. Nobody does. It was his time - just leave it at that."
Jamie just blinks his eyes at his nephew.
Suddenly a doctor walks in the waiting room "Sergeant Reagan?"
Jamie immediately stands followed closely by Joe.
"How's my wife?" Jamie quickly inquires as he steps forward.
"We got some test results back from her initial exam that require a subsequent exam." The doctor replies.
In a flash fear of the unknown enters Jamie's body "Why?" he demands "What's wrong?"
In response, the doctor offers Jamie a small but reassuring smile "Why don't you come with me…" he soothingly suggests as he gestures down the hall "…and once we get to your wife's room, I can explain everything to the both of you."
With his mind racing though all kinds of worst case scenarios as to what the doctor might have to say, Jamie quickly accepts "Yeah, yeah." as he moves to follow the doctor forgetting all about Joe and the conversation they were having.
…..