Severus awoke in a strange bed. His entire body was throbbing and pounding. He had no idea how many times the cruciatus curse had been used on him, but he was sure it was as many times as Mulciber and Avery could get away with it.

He let out an involuntary groan as he shifted. Migraine was better, but not gone.

He heard a faint pop from across the room and about a minute later, the door squeaked open. "You're awake."

"Narcissa?" Severus whispered, squinting his eyes.

"Yes." She drew close to the bed and looked down at him. "Lucius brought you here last night. The house elf tells me you've slept all day; it's nearly supper time."

"I- I need to get back."

"You might as well eat and take some potions. Another night of rest will do you good and you can leave for France in the morning. I'll have the elves bring your meal."

Severus grunted in approval and lay back on the pillows again, closing his eyes.

"Severus?" Narcissa said hesitantly. She sounded closer, and he realized she must have conjured a chair to sit beside the bed. "Lucius was… that is…" She cleared her throat. "Lucius said that you had hidden something from the Dark Lord and had been punished for it."

Severus did not react to this.

"Mulciber told him." Still no reaction.

"He told Lucius you were in love with the Evans girl."

Severus opened his eyes.

"Mulciber knows nothing about love," Severus said simply.

"I only wondered… because of how well you were getting on with Miss Perri." Narcissa said gently. Gently, but pointedly.

Severus had to be careful here. He trusted the Malfoys to an extent. He knew where he was on the totem pole. First them and theirs, second the Dark Lord. Severus was semi adopted, but he was still third ranked in their eyes, he believed.

"I have not lied to our master," he said quietly. "He has seen my whole history in my mind. He is quite powerful, Lucius can tell you. It is impossible to lie to him."

"Did Mulciber misunderstand?" As usual, she was far too perceptive. "Was it actually-"

"Narcissa," Severus closed his eyes again, willing her to go away. "I have only ever loved women that I cannot have, for one reason or another. There is no misunderstanding that."

He heard Narcissa rise and make her way to the door. "Miss Perri may come around yet," he heard her say quietly.

Unlikely, he thought to himself.

Yet Severus, despite himself, was ever hopeful.

In his opinion, it was his greatest flaw.

Hermione had opted for the necessary procedures to be done in hospital so she could be released quickly and recover at home.

Her bedroom in the flat was plain and in need of décor, so she spent time doing that when she wanted to avoid thinking. She unpacked her bag fully- apart from the time turner- and tried to make the room a bit more of a homebase for herself.

Additionally, Hermione passed the time by doing an inventory. She made sure to record everything in the leatherbound journal and read back through her notes from her time just to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything. Hermione also found herself fidgeting a lot with her sapphire pendant and the charm bracelet Severus had given her. After enough fidgeting, she had to admit she wanted to talk to him.

After the first few days, she picked up quill and parchment to write to Severus, but she didn't know where to start. IF she should start. She had to tell him something, right? Didn't he deserve to know?

The best she had gotten after nearly a week was a letter that said simply, "I miss you. I need you."

Yet sending that seemed just as stupid as sending nothing.

Arabella kept an appropriate distance but made herself available when she wasn't working in case Hermione needed company. Elpida, on the other hand, hovered. She made all Hermione's meals and brought snacks and tea to her room before she asked.

Hermione finally snapped at her when she exited the room and caught Ellie jumping up from the couch and coming over to her.

"I'm not an invalid," she glared.

"Oh, okay." The taller girl appeared cowed by this. "Are you ready to give a report then?"

"A report." The deadpan tone was quite reminiscent of Snape.

"I'm sorry, Anna, but…" Ellie cleared her throat and stood straighter. "It's important to discuss in our study of time. Think about other women. We need to know the risks women take undergoing time travel and use of a time turner. What if this… what if this was due to the time travel? We'd have to make sure women were screened ahead of time for pregnancy or if fertility is affected. This could impact future research and future travel for years to come."

Hermione cringed.

The logical side of her, the research side, heartily agreed with Ellie. It was important to know. However, the emotional side… this was too personal. She didn't want to talk about this anymore. She wanted to get over it. She was an emotional person, and she'd spent enough time crying in the last few days. Another reason not to talk to Severus and drag the whole thing out again.

Besides, how can you mourn a child you didn't even know you had? You can't really. So, after the initial crying, she was done. She wanted to avoid thinking about it.

"I have conditions," Hermione said stiffly.

"Of course."

"We do this here, not at the Ministry. Sterling doesn't know."

Ellie made a face. "We can do it here, but he's going to know there's a reason for future precautions women need to take-"

"Then he can put two and two together," Hermione said tersely. "He doesn't need to know about… this."

"Okay. Okay, I think I can do that."

"Take notes then," Hermione said, moving to the kitchen table to sit. "Let's get it over with."

"Oh," Ellie's eyes widened and she nodded. "Right."

Hermione sat stiffly and inhaled. It took a few moments for Elpida to retrieve some quills, ink, and parchment and settle back at the table to take notes. By then, Hermione had steeled herself in preparation.

"Go ahead."

"Do you know the date of conception?" Elpida asked.

"I believe… the beginning to the middle of April." It had to be the one time they had not used protection, of course. The first time.

Ellie frowned but continued looking down at the parchment and writing.

"I believe, accounting for time traveling, that would still line up with ten to twelve weeks of gestation." Hermione said evenly. She was trying to approach this in as clinical a manner as possible. She'd been able to keep detached enough thus far to avoid… anything too traumatic.

"Er… let's see…"

"Four weeks puts us into mid-May, another two weeks or so to June. Then it was about a week before I jumped forward and another week for you to study me and make sure I had no ill-effects."

"Didn't think about pregnancy," Ellie muttered, still writing.

"Then, jumping forward three months and giving it another week and a half or so-"

"Yes, that's about ten."

"And if it was early April, then twelve weeks."

"Is pregnancy a current risk?"

"No," Hermione said firmly. Ellie looked up at her skeptically. Hermione flushed. "Even if it were or could be, I'll be taking the potion from now on."

Ellie nodded and looked down, taking more notes. She was also trying to remain detached. If it was merely a conversation between friends, she probably would have scolded her.

"And… any prior symptoms of pregnancy or… warning signs?"

"No," Hermione said quietly. "Not that I know of." She'd been disconnected, a bit apathetic since graduation and cutting ties with Severus. That wasn't a symptom of pregnancy, was it? "I hadn't had a monthly cycle since I travelled back the first time."

Elpida kept writing. "Do you have any other comments or insights as to… your recent traveling experiences? Any ideas as to why this may have happened?"

"No," Hermione said. "Although it may simply be hereditary," she said, thinking out loud.

"Oh?" Ellie looked up again.

"My mother had trouble conceiving," Hermione said quietly. "I'm an only child, not by their choice."

Ellie looked down and continued her notes. After a few moments of silence, she said. "I think that's probably enough for now."

Despite herself, Hermione said, "really? It shouldn't be." At Ellie's confused look, she said, "You probably need to run some more tests to be sure it had nothing to do with time traveling. Is there something Arabella can do?"

"Testing was inconclusive," Elpida muttered as she returned to notetaking. "We didn't learn anything else from-"

Hermione stood up quickly, slamming her chair back from the table.

Before she knew it, her wand was drawn and pointed at the other woman and she was shaking with fury.

"From," she hissed. "From…. What? You didn't run any other tests on me."

The woman across from her was still frozen, quill held above the parchment and looking down.

Hermione repeated herself. "You didn't run any more tests on me."

Elpida now realized her slip-up and looked up slowly, her face white. "You… you signed all the paperwork at Mungo's. I didn't think you… I thought it was okay."

"Just because I didn't want to look at the remains didn't mean you could TEST THEM!" Hermione shrieked. "That you could take them back to the lab and- and-" Her mind involuntarily went to the worst possible images of grotesque science experiments.

Ellie stood slowly, arms raised in surrender. "It was only some magical scans, similar to healing ones. Nothing more. I didn't do anything to him…" She came closer to Hermione, walking slowly. "I buried him after. I can show you where."

Hermione found herself collapsing into Ellie's arms and sobbing now.

Him.

So much for remaining detached.

Severus had been able to rest the next night and return to France in the morning as expected. The only acknowledgement de Grasse gave on seeing him was a slight jump and turn as the potions shop bell rang with the opening door, followed by a light grunt and a nod toward a cauldron that was nearly at a boil.

Ten days after his return, Severus walked to Sainte-Verene for his weekly food shop for the two of them. Upon leaving the grocer with a small basket of food, he heard some yelling from the building across the way.

"Come, Monsieur! Come!" He frowned as he looked at the woman calling to him across the cobblestone street. Not to judge by appearances… but based on her flirtatious manner and her outfit, this was one of Madame Genevieve's whores.

He gave her a slight head shake, indicating his disinterest, but she waved him over even more enthusiastically. It was before ten o'clock, an unusual time to seek out Johns on the street. His curiosity piqued, he walked over slowly.

"Ah, Monsieur, you will come zee me tonight, no?" Her hair was blonde and curly, but when Severus kept his stoic scowl on his face, she pointed her wand at her face and glamoured herself. Her nose became thinner and more elegant and her hair changed to a dark auburn with a slight wave. "Zere. Better? Ton ami-"

Severus snarled at her and raised his wand. "If you mean Monsieur de Grasse, I have already told him I do not want your services."

"Non! Your friend who was with me last night zaid you like ze red hair." She gave him a coy smile and puffed her chest towards him, emphasizing her cleavage.

"My… friend. Did he leave his name?"

"Ah, non. But ee is Eengleesh like you. Ee as already paid Madame for you tonight!"

Severus put his wand away. "Did he have blond hair?"

She shook her head and giggled. Her mannerisms further repulsed Severus but he tried not to show it. "Il est brun."

Shite. He was sure Lucius wouldn't have glamoured his features if it was truly meant to be a friendly gesture. This was Mulciber or Avery pulling a mean prank. Or perhaps they had very loose lips and it could be another Death Eater. Or, worst case of all, it could be someone sent on the Dark Lord's orders to help him get over Lily Evans.

Which meant he was being watched.

"Is he still here?" At another head shake from the woman, Severus said, "I will not come, but keep the money for tonight. If my friend returns, tell him I… availed myself of your services and I plan to continue doing so."

She pouted at this, clearly upset at missing out on a regular client, and he lowered his voice, taking a deep, smooth and persuasive tone. "In exchange for your discretion, I can provide you with one potion a week. Perhaps something to heal bruises or diseases? Something for pain or heightened stamina?"

This quickly got the woman's attention and agreement. They agreed she would come to the shop once a week for a free potion from him and she would update him if any more of his English friends came to Sainte-Verene inquiring after him.

On arrival back at the potions shop in Berry, Severus put away the food and began to prepare his station for the day. De Grasse was nowhere in sight, but having known Severus was out shopping he was probably smoking his pipe around the back of the house.

"What now." Severus grunted, hearing the rapping on the window. He expected to see a customer, but it was a barn owl, frantically tapping its claw against the glass.

The owl flew in wildly once let in, refusing to leave until a response was sent. Frowning, Severus took the small piece of parchment from it and opened it to read.

I need to see you.

-H

Severus kept his frown. He was potentially being watched; he had just confirmed this. Plus, he had already been away for a weekend, so it would be at least a month if not more before he could get away again.

The bustling owl hooted impatiently, making it clear he had to make his decision now.

He was inclined to say no, not now. It wasn't safe. Also, he had been resentful since he'd seen her at the battle. She needed him. She needed saving yet again, but she didn't need a relationship, even a secret one.

He hastily scribbled a reply and sent it back with the owl.

The rest of the day, his mind would not stop wondering what could be so urgent.

"What do you mean, he's not coming?!"

Hermione kicked herself for saying anything to Elpida.

She had needed Ellie's help with getting Severus quickly in and out of the country and hiding all the customs and portkey paperwork in case anyone got suspicious if they saw his name on the logs. Unspeakables were allowed to cover up quite a bit if it was for work-related reasons (this situation was debatable, but Hermione argued that the whole medical record was potentially work-related, as well as the disclosures to Severus).

"He… says he can't."

"And you like this bastard?"

"That's not fair."

"You told him what happened and he said he wasn't coming?" At this, Hermione made a face.

"Annie! You didn't tell him!"

"You can't really say that in a letter. Besides, he confirmed he thinks he's being watched. I mean, reading between the lines, that what he says."

Elpida grabbed the parchment out of her friend's hand, only to yelp as it burst into flames.

"Smart," Hermione mumbled. "Only I can read it."

"Okay, he's being watched. So?" Elpida shook her hand and dusted the ashes out. "Let him stay in France and you go to him." Elpida crossed her arms, her short blonde hair swinging out from behind her ears. "I've already set up private Department-issued portkeys, we'll just change the travel to be the other way round. You use Polyjuice or glamouring or whatever. Take some money and say you need to buy potions. See if you can get him away from the Potions Master for a few minutes to talk to him."

It was so obvious; Hermione didn't know why she didn't suggest that in the first place. Or just show up in France without asking. Wanting to avoid talking about it, probably.

Despite desperately wanting to share this news with Severus, she wasn't keen on telling him. If he underreacted, she'd be hurt and furious. If he was similarly devastated, she'd have hurt him when she could have just stayed quiet.

"Alright," Hermione said softly. "I'll need a cover story. Nothing to do with Severus. It's a small town and I'll need a reason to be there."

"How's your French?"

A completely different prostitute entered the shop in Berry a few days later. She was an older woman, perhaps even the Madame. Unfortunately, she wouldn't accept the potion for payment, but insisted he come to the brothel and diagnose which potion was needed for one of the women.

Even more annoyingly, de Grasse eagerly insisted that this could be good practice for a Potions Master and to "take as much time as he needed". His opinions on Severus using the brothel for personal release had clearly not changed.

On arrival, the older woman shoved him into a room and quickly shut the door behind him, offering no explanation or instruction.

The room was sparsely furnished and appeared to be very unenticing. In fact, if he had to guess, it looked more like the personal bedroom of a lady at the brothel rather than an opulent, sensually decorated room used to entertain clientele. No wall hangings, no color, nothing but plain sheets, pillows, and a blanket. It was a personal bedroom that appeared to be unused and in transition, awaiting a new woman to start work there. Perhaps the room was even newly conjured.

The door opened and shut again. Turning, Severus saw a short, thin young woman with dark hair down to her waist. She appeared to be wearing some sort of school uniform, perhaps Beauxbatons.

She put her finger to her lips, whipped out her wand, and began casting a series of silencing and warding spells around the room.

Finally, she turned around and faced him. When she met his eyes then, he recognized her, despite her appearance.

His heart soared in elation, but he clenched his fists anyway and grimaced.

"What are you doing here?" he hissed.

The disguise slowly melted away and Hermione stood before him, wide-eyed and red-faced. "Severus," she whispered.

Her voice wavered as she spoke and his hands relaxed.

She continued speaking, at first slowly, then all at once a flood of overexcited and panicky gestures accompanied her frantic speech and breathing.

Once she had gotten everything out, she flew into his arms and began sniffling into his chest.

It had already been inevitable he would forgive her everything, but now especially so.

They were bound in every way.

The mother of his child.

The beginning of a family.

Family.

"My love," he whispered, stroking her hair. "My love."

"I'm sorry, I guess it wasn't urgent, I just-"

"No," he corrected her gently. "Thank you for telling me."

They stood that way for quite a while, her head pressed against his chest and him staring at the wall in thought, lightly stroking her wild locks.

"Hermione." Severus placed his fingers under her chin, extracting her from his robes and lifted her head up to finally meet his eyes again.

"Yes?"

He swallowed hoarsely and she felt the grip on her chin tighten ever so slightly. "You should go."

Hermione's face fell. Her eyes pleaded with him. "But- why?"

"Why? Why? Dammit Hermione, don't torture me. I haven't seen you in months and you've made it clear where we stand. And now we're- We're in a magical brothel!"

As if the room were listening, its nondescript décor quickly morphed into a dimly lit room adorned with sumptuous and fragrant silks, pillows, and bedding atop a bed that spanned half of the floor.

To Severus' shock, Hermione didn't skip a beat and dragged him over to the decadent arrangements.

She flopped backwards onto the bed, pulling him with her. Her face was still red from crying, but she seemed relaxed and at ease. Her eyes shone as she looked up at him, her visage relaxed with the catharsis of revealing the miscarriage to him, as well as the healing effects of being near him again.

"You were right," she whispered, stroking his face and gazing up at him. He stared at her stunned, mouth slightly open in puzzlement. "I keep trying to think about the entire situation logically, like I've always done. It makes no sense for us to be together, even be associated. I suppose it doesn't have to make sense, it just… is. We are. I can't escape it, I can't logic it away. Perhaps it shouldn't be happening when our goals are opposed, but it is happening. I can't fight it and I don't want to anymore."

Severus' eyes darkened and she swallowed, looking away and laughing nervously. "Like you've said, we're bound and it can't be undone, and frankly I wouldn't want it to be undone despite how maddening it is and-"

Severus silenced her rambling with a deep kiss.

To Monsieur de Grasse's credit, he did take the entire afternoon and evening off to spend at the brothel.

For his birthday in January, they met at a Muggle hotel in London. It was his birthday, they didn't have much time, so there was little talking done.

He had appeared somewhat withdrawn after their vigorous reunion. Satisfied physically, perhaps, but there was something lacking. He held her tightly until they finally admitted to themselves that they had to get dressed and return to normality.

"No more secrets," he had said to her in France a few months prior. "I know you're a muggleborn now. Tell me the rest."

She sadly shook her head. "You know I can't. Your master has his ways of finding out… It's not just my own life I'm worried about."

So he allowed himself to quietly accept what little of her he could have. It was what he had insisted on before- getting whatever he could take. For now, he would work diligently to finish his apprenticeship, gain favor with the Dark Lord, and earn his way into creating this new society. Then she would be at his side forever. Severus would make sure of that.

Despite himself, he was logical enough to understand his upbringing had much to do with his anger and need for rebellion. A broken home where there is no safety or control surely caused him to fight for his own safety, his own control. Yet this was not the case for the other Death Eaters. They already had power and authority, magical bloodlines spanning back generations and lofty ministry connections and positions. Perhaps dysfunctional home lives, but not nearly in the same way as his.

His compatriots did not follow the cause for the reasons he did. It hardly seemed like a revolt at all for most of them. True, they would complain of the pro-Muggle and anti-Magical political camps taking over the government, but these families had the financial means to lobby for change or to affect it legally. There was another pull for them… something more sadistic.

The Dark Lord was more like him, a half-blood. He understood what it was like to be separate.

Though he was handsome, powerful, well-connected. Couldn't he also affect change in another way? A more peaceful one?

Severus would roll his eyes, glower to himself over the cauldron and try to chase these nagging thoughts away when they came. His reasoning was being affected by Hermione's constant pleadings for non-violence and going about things by the rule of law, he was sure of it.

He would not acknowledge the taste in his mouth that would show up when he was called back to London to meet his fellow rebels. Rosier and Malfoy he could relate to. Even Cohen, though he had to keep his distance for now as she was with Karkaroff, whom he still despised. The rest of them… Wilkes, Avery, Mulciber, Dolohov, Bellatrix… they made him question the side he was on.

Hermione was the one who suggested Muggle venues. They couldn't meet in Sainte-Verene every time, in case he was truly being watched. Besides, Hermione couldn't let reuniting with Severus distract her as it had before.

Her mission was still to protect Lily, and James by association. Apparently, her aid to the graduating aurors in Diagon Alley had not gone unnoticed by the two. Sirius and Marlene had done a decent job in reporting what help she had been and James liked that someone had been disguised as Lily so that she had extra cover.

It had been a last-minute decision of Lily's to participate in auror training. She had initially wanted a Ministry job in affecting policy, hopefully to make progress as a Muggleborn in political office. However, as Arabella explained it to Hermione, the attack on Hogwarts at graduation changed her plans. Lily's marks and Head girl status meant she could move up the ranks quickly if she chose to and the Ministry was hardly in a position to turn down aurors now.

Arabella was Hermione's eyes and ears into the Marauder's group. She had always been close to Sirius (Hermione never asked if they were dating, but they were always…close) and Hermione could hear the gossip from her without being present at much of their gatherings. This allowed another way for Hermione to keep an eye on Lily and James without revealing herself too often in the timeline. Hermione was in favor with the group for now, but she couldn't appear too often without a risk of being remembered or recorded.

The further the years progressed, and the more people Hermione interacted with, the more people might remember her. She knew this and she kept much to herself. The Department of Mysteries with Cyd and Elpida to give reports, the apartment and Arabella, and the occasional meet up with Severus every six to eight weeks or so. She wasn't bored the rest of the time, as there wasn't actually much more time. She was travelling. Usually just a few weeks before having a meeting at the Department of Mysteries and "throwing them a bone" for their research.

Of course, there was a failsafe arranged with Ellie. She would travel forward with the timeturner in her room at the apartment and if something had happened, there would be a note for her on her bedroom door.

In May of 1979, there was a note. It read,

Return to April 3 of this year.