As promised, Deeks cut down on his hours, which meant he had an unprecedented amount of free time. It felt odd without either school or work every single day. Fortunately, he now had a standing invitation to dinner while Roberta was still working nights. Most days, he ended up at Kensi's for lunch too if he didn't have other plans.
Despite the lingering awkwardness surrounding their financial situation, Deeks was grateful for the distraction. He didn't feel that overwhelming desolation or nothingness anymore, but he could tell that spending too much time all on his own wouldn't be a great idea.
As uncomfortable as it might make him, he forced himself to suck it up, and accept the free meals and extra supervision. If it meant his mom wouldn't worry about him and could finally get their finances under control, he'd realized it was worth the embarrassment. It helped that Kensi didn't treat him any differently than before; now they just had nothing to hide.
Like this afternoon after Kensi finished umpiring a game, they ended back up at her house, raided the cupboards for anything salty and dragged their bounty, towels, and a radio out to the backyard. Kensi hastily laid out her towel and started stripping off her shirt. Deeks choked on nothing, his eyes widening in surprise, until he realized Kensi was wearing a blue and white striped bikini top and must have changed when she used the bathroom.
"You ok?" Kensi asked, reaching out to him in concern.
"Yeah, I uh, I just breathed the wrong way," he explained. There was absolutely no reason why the sight of Kensi in a bikini, something he'd experienced every summer since they met, should make his skin feel tight and entire body suddenly burning hot.
"Oh really." Something shifted in her eyes, and she smirked up at him, almost knowingly.
Crap.
He didn't feel remotely prepared to figure this out at the moment, so like a coward, he tugged his shirt over his head. By the time he had it off, Kensi was laying on her wrinkled towel, arm flung over her upper face. He appreciated her letting him off the hook. Maybe someday he would examine why his best friend made his heart race and his skin flush like a twelve-year-old, but not today.
Carefully laying out his towel a half foot from Kensi's, he made himself comfortable. Eyes closed, Deeks titled his chin up, enjoying the warmth of the sun. Slowly, his entire body relaxed, soothed by being outdoors, Kensi by his side.
He was in that pleasant haze, almost on the edge of sleep when Kensi spoke again.
"Are you doing ok? Really." she asked. He looked over, seeing Kensi with her head turned towards him, presumably watching him through her sunglasses. "There's been a lot of changes really fast."
He pushed himself up onto his elbows, considering her question seriously.
"I'm better. Better than I was." He paused, then added, examining his fingers as though they were extremely interesting. "Your dad wants me to see a therapist," he said. He hadn't told anyone else about that part of the conversation, needing time to sit with it. His stomach dipped slightly with the admission.
Kensi sat up so fast her sunglasses flew off, landing near his feet. "You're kidding! When did he say that?"
"A couple weeks ago. I guess it was more of a suggestion than a demand. He thinks it might help with…" He waved his hand in the air to encompass his disaster of a life. "Everything."
"Wow." Blinking a couple of times, Kensi inhaled as she shook her head. "Ok, well, what are you thinking?"
"I don't know. I mean, it might help to talk to someone who can explain what's wrong with me—"
"Deeks!"
"Relax, I'm joking," he assured her. He brushed his hair back, now a little sweaty from the heat. "I don't know if I'm ready to trust an outsider. I mean, I barely trusted you guys."
Pivoting to face him, Kensi crossed her legs, and leaned forward to touch his hand.
"Hey, no one is going to blame you, no matter what decision you make," she said, so earnest, he felt a surge of affection run through him.
"I know. Thanks, Kens." He squeezed her hand. "One of these days though, we really need to stop talking about me.'
"Oh, but you're so fascinating," Kensi teased. She grabbed a package of pretzels, tossing him one, and worked her way through the small bag in record time. "Yeah, that's not gonna do it. I need more food. C'mon, let's go make lunch." She tugged her shirt on again, and hopped up.
Chuckling at Kensi's wonderful predictability, he heaved himself off the blanket, jogging to catch up as she slid through the back door.
"Ok, how hungry are you? Because I'm not sure I have the patience for anything that requires more than microwaving." She'd already pulled out a loaf of bread and a bag of sub rolls.
"You know I'm good with anything. Aside from the peanut butter and mayonnaise concoction," he added, and got a huff out of Kensi for it.
"That was an accident. And it was not that bad," she insisted, handing him the bag of rolls. "Can you toast these?"
"You know, you don't have to keep making up excuses," he said with mild amusement, popping two of the rolls into the empty oven and setting the heat on low.
"What?" Kensi asked, turning from the fridge with a carrot stick poking out of her mouth, and a package of lunch meat in her hand.
"I'm talking about you finding reasons to have me supervise your kitchen time so I wouldn't feel bad about eating all your food. The charade's kind of over."
Kensi flushed just the tiniest bit, fiddling with the plastic container of meat as she eyed his sheepishly. "When did you realize?"
"It took me a little bit, but somewhere around the fifth day in a row you had me make lunch. Oh, and the macaroni and cheese. I've seen you cook that before."
"Damn it!" Kensi hissed, looking genuinely annoyed. "I thought I was pretty convincing."
"Oh you are," he assured her quickly. "You maybe just overplayed your hand a little."
"Well, I guess there goes my hopes and dreams of becoming a movie star."
"And an award-winning chef." He winked at her, and she stuck her tongue out in response. He waited a few seconds, fiddling with the tie from the roll bag. "If I didn't say it already, thanks for that. For taking care of me."
"Always, Deeks," she said,a certain weight to the words that made them more than a flippant promise. She held his gaze for a few extra seconds, the silence building until she cleared her throat, grabbing a random bag of cheese. "Anyway, now we need to plan the rest of the summer. Do you think I can convince my dad to take us across state lines?"
"Oh no, Kens," he groaned, secretly enjoying every moment as Kensi concocted an elaborate plan for the two of them.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this lighter chapter. Deeks isn't magically ok, but with some of the pressure and stress off his back, he's improving. Also, hormones can be so very confusing.
If it ever seems like Deeks or Kensi are a little OOC or overly emotional, I'm just drawing on my own memories of being a teen. Even as a fairly calm, boring teenager, there were some moments when I was completely unreasonable and unlike my usual self.