COMMANDER JERJERROD

It took him a while to realize that morning had come when it finally did, for he had stayed up through the rest of the night and not roused anyone for their watch. As with every evening before bed since he could remember, he would reflect on the day and go over what had and had not been productive, but this night he had sat absolutely still, locked in thought and memory. He did not even notice the hours ticking by or the sound of the rain finally stopping some time before dawn. Even with the armchair in his quarters, he could never have sat motionless for so long as he had these past several hours.

It had to have been the Force bringing his resting heart rate to something so low that it lulled him into a meditative mindset and allowed him to while away the hours thinking of what he had done to lead him to this point and what he had to now do after staining his hands with the blood of two men he had known for the better part of twenty years. He was not so narcissistic that he would claim both men's deaths as his fault, but the rebel certainly was, and it was that death that scared him far more than those of his friends. Lost in the vast expanses of this forest moon was not the time or place to be questioning his entire existence because of how the fates of three men were forever sealed by his decisions, yet he had stayed up all night allowing these thoughts to hover over him.

So consumed in his own mind was he that he did not notice the other men beginning to move about and stretch around him. Not many of them made it very far, too miserable, hungry, and soaked to move around much other than to let the sun fall upon their faces for the first time since before they crashed. Some talked amongst themselves, but none seemed keen on holding conversation.

Jerjerrod checked in with each man to ask their well-being until he arrived at Piett who was wide awake, staring at the canopy above with eyes that seemed a little bloodshot, but not bulging and bleeding as Needa's had been. Removing his glove to place his knuckles against Piett's brow to check for a fever, Jerjerrod concluded that the admiral's internal temperature was normal. For good measure, he felt Piett's pulse and examined his eyes with a light from the tip of his pocket tool before he felt safe removing Piett's binders.

Relieved though he was to know that Piett had not contracted the infection from Needa, it did not escape his notice that Piett was offering him more of lukewarm shoulder this morning, not quite as cold as he could have, but not welcoming as Jerjerrod had expected. Whether or not he was pleased with the fact, he could feel the resentment resonating off of Piett, the doubt and distrust. Rubbing at his wrists, Piett said nothing to him and Jerjerrod could not find any topic of conversation to bring up that wouldn't sound forced.

How was one supposed to greet another after killing their friend the night before? He was saved the trouble of trying to answer that question himself when he did another headcount and came up one short.

"Where is Admiral Motti?" he asked the nearest trooper.

"I think he stepped away, Commander."

Jerjerrod had to bite his tongue to not speak out to the incompetence in letting a man so ill equipped in protecting himself in such an environment as this go wandering off alone, even if it was to make water.

"Which way did you see him go?"

The trooper pointed him in the right direction and Jerjerrod hurried off with his hand at his waist to draw his blaster if he needed to. He knew Motti would have called for help if he needed it, but he did not want to be caught unprepared and his instincts were telling him that he needed to go armed. He had been walking for about three minutes without seeing Motti when he spotted a silhouette of some beast stalking forward to where it appeared that something was crouching in the bushes.

Jerjerrod aimed his blaster at the creature and without waiting to see what it was, fired. He had gone through basic target practice at the Academy and had passed with average marks, so he could never have claimed to be a deadly shot, but the speed and precision with which he shot this creature in its head despite being several dozen yards away told him that he now had the Force to thank for increased concentration and heightened accuracy. The sound of his shot was swallowed by the dense trees to not echo, but loud enough that some birds in a nearby tree took flight in alarm.

Motti's head popped up from the bushes and he turned to see Jerjerrod standing there with his blaster drawn.

"What are you doing?" he asked in alarm.

"I could ask you the same thing. How long does it take one to urinate?"

"It took all of twenty seconds to eliminate all that water I swallowed. The rest of the time I've been down here on my hands and knees retching."

"Then you weren't aware that you were being hunted just now. Whatever it was, it's lying dead over there in the tall grass."

Motti glanced in the direction Jerjerrod gestured and then stood up fully and Jerjerrod could see that he did look quite green, which clashed horribly with the still present bruising under his eyes from having his nose broken.

"What's got you feeling ill this morning?" Jerjerrod asked in an attempt at light-heartedness.

"How do you not feel the same? I would have thought that your actions in the past few days would have taken a toll on you. It certainly has on the rest of us who had to watch," said Motti with no remorse for his words. The veiled accusation from Motti coupled with the look Jerjerrod had seen on Piett's face that morning confirmed what he already suspected; his friends were turning on him.

"We've been over this before. That first kill was a necessity. Maxim was not my doing. I had to do what I did with Lorth or he would have–"

"I know what he would have done," snapped Motti as he stomped out of the bushes to approach Jerjerrod. "I was the one who told you that he would have collapsed and died from the brain swelling in another few moments if you hadn't shot him."

"Are you suggesting that I should have waited?"

"I'm saying that the manner in which you shot him was heartless and all too familiar to how a certain someone deals with men who become a hindrance."

"Lorth had gone mad, Conan, how could he possibly have been a nuisance? He was dying and I gave him mercy because I could do nothing else for him. If you want to label his death as something sinister on my part because you're upset with me personally, tell me outright."

"Fine. I think something happened the day Vader landed to bring you news that you wouldn't share with me. I think he told you something that changed you, and not for the better, and I've seen it happening. It's those changes that are the reason that Maxim and Lorth are dead. Tell me I'm wrong. Lie to me and tell me that you are the same man you were before, that nothing about you has changed."

Meeting Motti's eyes and trying to express everything he could not say aloud, Jerjerrod answered, "Nothing has happened to me that has changed who I know I am." It was not a lie, for he believed that he was still the same man with the same principles, even if his goals had changed and if the voice of his instincts had changed.

Motti let out a dry, humorless laugh that did not suit him at all. "I think Maxim and Lorth would disagree with the shit that just came out of your mouth."

As the professional men they were, they did not often engage in profanity, but Motti was always the one to bend those rules, and though it was a sign that Motti's temper was rising, Jerjerrod was somewhat prepared for his outburst. He was not, however, prepared for the sting that came with Motti accusing him outright of being the cause of death of Veers and Needa. He suspected that Motti could sense a change in him, even if he did not understand it, but Motti had pinpointed that change in all but name and it wounded Jerjerrod to know that his friend thought so little of him in just a few short days because of his actions when his actions had been spurred by the desire to use his new abilities to protect Motti.

Though not a vindictive man, Jerjerrod knew that he had been too lenient with Motti and that the admiral was in need of a dressing down, but that it would have to be harsher than Jerjerrod had ever been with him before. It took effort on his part to string words together that he knew would leave an impact and a wound in Motti enough to put him in his place.

"I am the same man I was before. You are simply looking for blame where there is none. You can't accept that any of this may actually be your fault. Maxim would never have been on that bridge if not for you. You can't take responsibility for what you know is a byproduct of your stupidity in challenging the Sith twice when we all would have been better served if you'd have kept your mouth shut."

Motti swung and clipped him in the jaw. Properly surprised that the Force had not seen fit to warn him of that, Jerjerrod tested his jaw's movement to see if Motti had knocked out any of his teeth.

"You got two of my friends killed, Commander, and there will not be a third. It comes easy for you, doesn't it? Killing men who thought you were their friend."

"I have a hope that for as long as killing fills me with regret, I am more human than some men who relish it."

"That wasn't my question. I asked if it was easy."

"It depends on the circumstances. If I have the time to consider if it must be done, it is difficult. If I have no choice but to act in the moment, it is easy. Killing that rebel was necessary to prevent him from doing the same to you and I had no time to think, so it was easy. Killing Maxim was a choice I had to make weighing my options and how many men would die in the process and it was a difficult decision. Killing Lorth was a choice I had to make to save Firmus and to end Lorth's suffering and it was an easy decision. None of them were acts I am proud of."

"You'll have a hard time convincing me that you have any remorse for any of it."

"Since when do you care about a man repenting for his actions? It was your idea to add a planet-destroying mechanism in the Death Star, if you recall. You conceived that part of the design even though I fought against it. Even at such a young age, you showed your penchant for power and your disregard for the lives affected by your ambition. I would even go so far as to call you a bloodthirsty individual at times, yet you judge me for killing one rebel in the manner that I did and for having to make a conscious decision to kill two men we considered friends. Somehow, I feel that being responsible for the deaths of anyone and everyone who has died due to the power of the Death Star far outweighs my kill count."

"I would like to hear your reasoning behind that flawed logic."

"You had no conscience when you decided to add a death beam capable of destroying planets to the Death Star. You had no qualms about the lives your creation would shatter. It was an easy choice for you to make because the design was admired by our superiors and it put you on the fast track to get you where nepotism could not. The decision I made where both Maxim and Lorth were concerned required more humanity than you will ever have, yet I'm in the wrong here. Do you see why that doesn't make sense to me?"

Jerjerrod had a feeling that Motti could see that he was in the wrong, but as the prideful and bull-headed man he was, he would never admit it.

"Know this, Admiral, you are alive because of me. I chose to put my own life at risk and show insubordination toward one of the beings I fear and hate most not once, not twice, not three times, but four. I spoke for you at your trial, I spoke for you the second time Vader decided to teach you your place, I came to your rescue when the rebel would have broken open your skull, and I did not allow you to be on that bridge when Vader gave the order. I gave up my career, my duty, and my life for you when you are obviously so undeserving of it and have been branded a fugitive for my troubles. If that isn't enough to earn some small measure of acceptance from you, I don't know what would, but I will no longer tolerate this anger from you. This rage that began as insubordination that has now become outright hatred, I will not have it. Say what you need to, air it out, and be done with it."

Again, Motti came at him and again, Jerjerrod was not expecting him to be so physical, but this time Motti seized Jerjerrod by his lapels and threw him bodily aside. Jerjerrod's back collided with a solid tree trunk and he exhaled sharply in pain. He only had a few seconds to gather himself before Motti was on him again, this time bringing his knee up into Jerjerrod's gut. Perhaps there was a part of Jerjerrod that wanted to be punished for the fates of Veers and Needa, but that self-chastising thought was banished almost instantly as Jerjerrod considered how very juvenile the situation was.

Now Motti's rage was becoming a problem and as the stronger of the two, he had an advantage over Jerjerrod. If Jerjerrod could not calm this storm before it became something much more dangerous, he did not like his chances of taking Motti in a fight. How had it even come to this where the two of them would have to engage in a physical fight because Motti could not properly express his emotions? Jerjerrod had a wry thought that Motti was about to become the example of what happened to Imperial officers after years of suppressed rage.

"Do you really want to scuffle like schoolboys over something like this? I'm not the one who shot you down. I'm not the one who strangled you and not the one who landed you in this mess. You are your own worst enemy and you made an enemy out of the Sith by your own doing. I've done nothing but protect you from the start, so if you want to hit me again, you'll have to earn that blow."

The admiral's anger was misplaced, but he had no outlet. Jerjerrod had always known that Motti was capable of a certain type of brutality that the rest of them were not because Motti had been raised under a brutal hand and had come to the Academy as a boy disciplined by a father's obsession with image and making sure his son reflected that image. Motti had had to repress his inclination to react as a boy and now that he was a man grown, he had difficulty respecting authority when he saw it as tyrannical rather than instructive. He was finally in a position to physically fight back after only being allowed to use his words as a weapon. He had harvested this hatred of being talked down to and beaten his whole life and now Jerjerrod was in the direct path of that manifested hatred.

With no real aim and apparently no plan other than to make contact with Jerjerrod, Motti swung at him again and Jerjerrod dodged the blow, knocking Motti's arm down.

"Do not do that again. You're being childish."

Motti had tested and tried Jerjerrod on this front multiple times and as his friend, Jerjerrod had put up with his misconduct, but this went beyond anger at having to follow rules; this was Motti being unable to come to terms with his new reality and lashing out, trying to make someone else atone when he had no one to blame but himself.

Jerjerrod was not about to be a victim to these circumstances. He would not engage in a duel of any sorts with Motti just to cater to Motti's need for satisfaction. If Motti wanted someone to pay, someone would, and it would not be Jerjerrod.

Motti's body betrayed him. His balled fist was trembling, his jaw had clenched, he was digging his back leg in to create a solid stance upon which he could lean to cast his power forward to strike Jerjerrod again.

"Do not try to hit me, Conan," Jerjerrod warned. He didn't know what his plan would be to defend himself, but he knew it would not end well.

He thoroughly expected the Force to abandon him to take a blind hit yet again, but his instincts were telling him to intercept Motti's blow, showing him how he ought to react before he actually needed to. In his mind's eye, he saw Motti moving in to score a hit and saw himself closing the distance, stepping inside of Motti's arm's range, and striking Motti's chest with an open palm to lay him flat and gain the upper hand.

Motti swung for him, Jerjerrod stepped inside Motti's arm's reach, and then cast out his hand. He never physically came into contact with Motti, but he felt a pressure at his hand as if an additional source of strength resided there. It centered at his palm and grew until it stretched into an invisible but impenetrable wall before him, and that wall collided with Motti who flew several feet backwards, thrown into the air by a force that neither of them could see, but both of them felt as remnants of it reverberated in the empty space between them. Motti lay where he had fallen in the trampled grass, stunned into silence for a lingering moment in which both of them stared open-mouthed at one another. There was no fumbling whatsoever as Motti reached into his holster for his blaster and trained it on Jerjerrod with an eerie calmness that did not extend to his eyes, eyes that burned with hatred. The bruising under and around his eyes gave him a hollowed, almost skeletal look that darkened his stormy grayish-blue irises and made him look quite deranged and capable of murder in that moment.

Jerjerrod could sense Motti's insides churning. Something was building deep within him, some raw, inexplicable emotion that he wouldn't be able to control. Raising his hands to try and calm the situation, Jerjerrod was quite glad that the look Motti was giving him did not possess any sort of power of its own to kill him where he stood, though he did not trust the blaster to abide by the same rules.

"Conan, you need to be calm–"

"You just fucking looked me in the eyes and lied to me." As Motti moved to stand up, Jerjerrod noted for the first time how that solid inch and a half difference between the two of them made Motti look like a towering giant in the right light. Feeling dwarfed and quite small in the shadow of this man's rage and knowing better than to step forward to make Motti lower his balster, Jerjerrod set his hands upon his head in surrender since extending them just now would not be entirely reassuring to Motti when Jerjerrod had just used one of them to launch the admiral twenty feet backward. He knelt in place to reassure Motti that he was no threat, but he did not like how vulnerable he felt in such a compromising position.

"If you would let me explain–"

"You're one of them," Motti snarled, though his hand shook on his weapon as if confronted with his greatest fear that his friend was of a kind with Palpatine and Vader.

"I am not."

"Unextraordinary mortal men can't do what you just did. Only a Sith."

"Or a Jedi, but I am neither. I was not trained by either and in fact I have no training at all. Vader only just informed me of what I am mere days ago, that I might be too old to be trained to use this power, that it might amount to nothing at all. He did say he would observe me but that if he felt it grow stronger, he would bring me to the Emperor either to extract that power or seek to manipulate me into following their Order. The odds of that happening are infinitesimal."

At this moment with a blaster to his head, Jerjerrod did not think it wise to tell Motti that Vader also saw him as a threat in terms of how powerful he might become. Motti only knew that Vader saw that Jerjerrod could not be manipulated to sacrifice his friends and his men for the Empire, not that the Emperor himself might see Jerjerrod's connection with the Force as a danger to be addressed immediately.

"He should have taken you to the Emperor and had you dealt with. And if you had a shred of decency, you would have turned yourself in rather than allow yourself to become what you are now. Did you use that power to influence and kill Maxim? Did you use it to sense what was happening to Lorth and chose to let him suffer? How many people have you already hurt since you discovered what you can do?"

"You're not hurt; you're startled. I wasn't trying to hurt you-I didn't even know that would happen. It's not something I can control-"

"That makes you all the more dangerous. It's one thing to knowingly use that power on someone but if you use it unintentionally, that makes you unpredictable. All this time we've been in close proximity to each other and I had no idea you could turn on me at any moment and choke the life out of me like Vader tried to do."

"You know I would never-"

"Yes, you would!"

The fury and loathing with which Motti spat this at him cut Jerjerrod to the core because he knew his friend was right. Jerjerrod would never intentionally harm his friends, but he still had. He had killed Veers out of duty and he had shot Needa to save Piett, not out of want, but of necessity. He would never harm them to be malicious and cruel or because he wanted to, but because he had to, and Motti had seen that. He was still capable, if not willing, of committing those crimes that were irredeemable in Motti's eyes.

"Don't you lie to me again. You've used that–that power to help you do the things you've done since we landed on this moon. You've known what you were capable of and you said nothing when the least you could have done was to tell me what you are so I would have known before you used your powers against me and I could have severed any connection with you. For you to know what you are and not tell me, knowing how I detest the Force after how it was used against me, that's despicable."

"What good would it have done to tell you? How would it have changed anything? If I had told you from the start, you would have tried to avoid me and most likely wound up in a worse situation than you are now by being at Vader's mercy instead of here, alive. From the moment he told me what I was, I've only used these newfound abilities to help you, but that power can sometimes use me in a way I can't predict."

"Like when you told me that you wanted to know what he did to me? You used that power then to go prodding around in my mind for information that I didn't want to give you? You went inside my head even after I specifically told you that you had no business knowing what was done to me? How dare you, Tiaan? How fucking dare you do that to me and not tell me what you are?"

"Maxim knew."

"And you killed him for it," said Motti savagely.

"Firmus knows," said Jerjerrod desperately.

"Then he's a trusting fool. He's seen what Vader does to people and if he knew what you were and trusted you, he's a damn fool."

"If I had wanted to kill someone for knowing what I am to keep my identity a secret, you and Firmus would be dead right now. If you think so little of me and have forgotten so much about me, then shoot me."

Jerjerrod could see this thought had not even occurred to Motti until now. Despite holding a blaster on him, Motti had not even entertained the notion of shooting him down in cold blood.

"All you have is my word and if that isn't good enough for you, you have no choice but to shoot me. Shoot me for something I wasn't aware I could do until a few days ago, something I can't control. Make it a debt repaid for what I did to Maxim and Lorth, if you see their deaths as my fault."

"You can't goad me into fighting you now that you've shown me what you can do. You're looking at me like I'm the fool in this situation when I have every reason to not trust you right now. My fear of you is justified. I am living proof that that power you now worship is something to be feared and I would be stupid to ignore that fact and let my guard down. My blaster is in my hand because I didn't accidentally decide to become an idiot."

"No, just intentionally."

"You go to hell," Motti spat.

"I think I'm fairly close right now."

Several moments passed in which neither spoke and Jerjerrod could feel the dampness from the ground soaking into the knees of his pants. He dared to test the waters and see just how angry Motti actually was.

"You're angry with me; I understand. I wanted to tell you, but it would only have turned you against me sooner. I did not choose this fate and if it were up to me, I would not have allowed it to happen but now that it has, I have made my choice to turn my loyalty to you and Firmus. Stripped of my rank and my purpose in serving the Empire, all I have left are the men who crashed in that shuttle with me. If you find fault in me for that, I'm sorry that you can't see things from my perspective. I am sorry to have lied to you, but it was not done to hurt you. You don't have to be afraid of me, I promise. You attacked me and I defended, but neither of us were aiming to kill. I would not turn my powers on you unless I had to and in that moment, my mind decided that I had to. But you are not my enemy, so if the way you make peace with this is to kill me here, then do it. I won't stop you."

"Did you automatically assume that my first instinct was to kill you?"

"I assumed that your first instinct was to put some distance between the thing you fear most and you, which meant pointing your blaster at me. I knew you wouldn't fire."

"You don't know me. Not as well as you think you do and certainly not the man I am now. Too much has changed in the fourteen years we didn't see each other and three years does not make up for the absence of fourteen years.."

"I can feel your actions and your emotions, almost your thoughts. Lord Vader told me that the Force acts as instinct and intuition to where I can sense what you are trying to convey before you speak it or do it. I feel your uncertainty and caution but I also feel that there is no hate in you directed toward me, only the power that resides in me. I have been able to sense your emotions for some time now and have learned which ones you act on and which ones you ignore."

"And when did this useful power first come to you?" asked Motti skeptically.

"The day you stumbled out of your escape pod after the destruction of the Death Star. I couldn't identify it for what it was, but I became more perceptive and thought it was only me being more concerned on your behalf. But it was that power beginning to form a connection with you and linking me to your emotions as well as those of the people around me. I thought it was intuition, but it was the Force. Since that day, I have used it to offer you my support and my advice however I can even though I was unaware that I was doing such a thing. All the same, I believe you've heard me talking to you, even if you weren't aware that it was my voice in your head. You can hear my emotions because I will you to hear me, and that voice in your head has kept you alive. I tell you this not to hold it over your head, but to show you how I am only trying to protect you."

"That's not your responsibility," said Motti distantly and Jerjerrod could see him trying to weigh the information presented to him. His mind was in conflict with his reasoning.

"It is. Not as your commanding officer, but as your friend. The concept is unfamiliar to you, but outside of the Imperial fleet, people are allowed to have friends who they would sacrifice much for."

"Your interference will get you killed," Motti warned.

"It hasn't yet. May I stand up?"

Motti didn't respond, but he did lower his blaster, looking not altogether reassured that Jerjerrod would not suddenly rush at him and start strangling him.

With impeccable timing, Piett appeared from the direction of their camp, and one look at the distance between the two of them, Motti's blaster in hand, and the tension on both of their faces, he came to his own conclusion on what had happened.

"He took it well, I assume?" he asked Jerjerrod sardonically.

"You're equal parts to blame in this for not telling me," Motti snapped.

"With good reason, given your history with the Force and your less-than-ideal temper."

"And after he told you, knowing what you know now about him, seeing what's happened since then, do you trust him?"

Here, they would discover the truth of it. Here, Piett could speak his mind without anyone to overhear. They would find out if Piett's sense of loyalty was stronger than his doubts about what Jerjerrod might become.

"I don't always agree with the decisions made by my fellow officers, but I try to understand why those decisions are made to the best of my ability. I accept and understand that the men who have died in the past few days were not a product of this power that the Sith says that Tiaan has. I know this man, and I trust him."

Relief swept over Jerjerrod that at least Piett still recognized the part of him that was trying to remain who he was before. He could not completely be sure that Piett was telling the whole truth or if he was simply trying to de-escalate the situation, but he was grateful nonetheless.

"If it's any consolation, if it came to it, the two of you and the rest of the men would be more than enough to put me down, but it's a needless fear. I give you my word that I would never consciously and deliberately use the Force against you when I have little understanding of how to actually use it. Even that act of pushing you away cost me an enormous amount of energy, so anything stronger or that might require more effort would lay me flat. I'm no threat to you, so please don't treat me as one."

"Don't expect me to just put aside what happened here. What if I still don't trust you?" Motti demanded.

"Then you'll die out here because you are as far out of your element as it is possible to be," said Piett simply. "You were born on a planet with no means to live off the land. All you've ever known is structure and technology. A tree is as foreign to you as speaking another language. If you choose to let this be the hill you die on, you'll die alone because the rest of us cannot wait for you to come to terms with the information you now have. Process it, accept it, and move on, Conan. Or don't."

"Because that's what's expected of me?" Motti challenged, and some unspoken understanding passed between him and Piett that Jerjerrod could not intrude on.

"You may not be an officer in the Imperial fleet any longer, but the men will still look to you as well as the two of us for leadership. If you show them distrust in Tiaan, they will do the same."

"I know you don't trust me," said Jerjerrod with a heavy heart. "I can feel that much resonating off of you but more than that, I can see it. You've had years to practice wiping your face clean of any emotion, but since your trial, you've had a difficult time achieving that same feat. Your face tells all. So if you want the men to believe you and follow your example, try to at least look like nothing has changed between us."

"Even though everything has?"

"Only if you allow it to. This is your decision to accept me as I am or break with me. Whether or not you do, I say to you again as I did when it last mattered, fix your face."

Motti stared at a spot on the ground, seemingly working hard to swallow some large obstruction in his throat, but the longer he stared, the fewer telltale lines there were on his face. Where there had been concern, uncertainty, and anxiety, there was now only polite passiveness. Emotions aged him, but adopting the bored expression of the model Imperial officer was a habit he had not yet broken, and it made him look like the man who had served beside Jerjerrod. It was actually quite unsettling how quickly he could shed his emotions and fall back into the Imperial mannerisms when called upon to do so.

"By your lead, Commander," he said in toneless obedience.

/ /

If nothing else, Motti proved that as long as his face did not give him away, he was an accomplished liar. The men did not suspect anything when Jerjerrod, Motti, and Piett returned to camp. Leaving the ashes of Needa behind was not a good omen to set out on and Jerjerrod had had to swallow a dry sob that longed to come out of his throat as he stared at that pile of ashes for far too long before Piett cleared his throat to rouse him. Choosing to head east toward the sun as their direction for the day, Jerjerrod led the party out of the overhanging canopy and into denser forest

The objective and priority of the day was to find food since they would not be able to go on much longer expending as much energy as they had without sustenance. Jerjerrod asked Motti which animals they might be able to catch that would prove to be edible since Motti claimed to have done some extensive research on the moon and its creatures, but Motti pointed out that any game they might stand a chance of catching would have fled and alerted other animals once they heard the Imperial party marching through the forest. Unless they wanted to risk remaining in one place for more than a night, they would have to hope for berries and other sources of readily available food to present themselves.

Jerjerrod knew he was not doing a very successful job in keeping morale up or providing for his men and that he would have to present something more if he wanted them to continue to trust his leadership enough to follow in his wake every morning. The selfish part of him knew that too much was being asked of him in an environment in which he had no control, but no Imperial officer could ever claim that life had been fair to them and he knew fate was not about to be so kind now.

It did not help that he could feel Motti's eyes on the back of his head, waiting for him to exhibit some sign that he was becoming one with the Sith with perhaps an oily voice or penetrating red eyes with a yellow ring. Even though Jerjerrod felt like he would notice such a change in himself if he were turning to what the Sith had called the dark side of the Force, he could not be sure, for he had had no control over his body when he killed that rebel and had only realized what he had done after the fact. There was a gap in his memory from the time the Force took over to when it released him.

He could not recall any other incidents since then where there was time unaccounted for in his memory, but he didn't put it past this mystical Force to overtake him again if he allowed himself to be so unguarded.

Quite suddenly, Jerjerrod came to a halt without fully realizing that he had. Lately, his body seemed to be doing things of its own accord and leaving him to guess after the fact if it was the Force guiding him. He still didn't know how he could sense these things, but he knew something dangerous was pointed his way and that he had just a few moments to issue a surrender or risk the lives of every man behind him. Holding his arm straight up for his men to see, he showed them that he was lowering his blaster and then folding his fingers together, he placed his hands on top of his kepi.

"Hold your fire and weapons down," he commanded in a level voice just as the forest around them came to life with faces emerging from the foliage, painted with mud to blend into the surroundings. There also stood an enormous furry creature–a Wookie, by the looks of it, and with this bit of information, he knew who had to be in this group of rebels who had just sprung the trap on them. At least twenty blasters pointed their way and one man who wore stark black underneath his camouflage came to the forefront with a metal cylindrical grip in his hand.

Jerjerrod's men, to their credit, did hold fire, but many of them looked like they were still contemplating shooting. Motti had his blaster trained on the man in black in front of him and unlike with his interaction with Jerjerrod earlier, Jerjerrod was certain that in this case, Motti would fire. Jerjerrod was not yet proven to have a title to what he was, neither Sith nor Jedi, but the man in front of them had had his face reviewed by every Imperial officer and trooper across the galaxy and given that he was a Jedi, Motti had no trust in him.

"I said down, Admiral," Jerjerrod repeated.

"I would listen to your commanding officer, Admiral," said the Jedi. "It's thanks to his actions that you're all still alive right now. Don't ruin it by doing something you'll regret."

"I think I'll regret it more if I don't shoot you," said Motti with distaste.

"Drop it now, dammit," Jerjerrod barked.

Bordering on looking like he was about to have a full-blown tantrum, Motti threw his blaster down, revering the man in black with the same sort of loathing glare he reserved specifically for the Sith, and Jerjerrod could understand why. Motti hated anything and everything to do with the Force and the man in front of them was the only known skilled user of that power.

Jerjerrod knew this face well despite never meeting the young man, but given that they were not yet dead, he was hopeful that it meant that the man was inclined to show mercy.

"Say nothing," Jerjerrod warned Motti, and then with a nod of acknowledgment to the man in black and taking note of the insignia on the man's left shoulder, he greeted, "Commander Skywalker."

"Commander," Skywalker returned. "A long way from home, aren't you? And a sorry sight. It looks like you and your men have had a rough time of it."

With Jejerrod's bruised throat and the dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, Piett's facial scar from the rebel attack, Motti looking like he was some domestic abuse survivor, and all of them and their men sporting ripped, mud-stained uniforms and armor, they certainly did not give the impression that they had been doing well for themselves lately.

"Define 'home'," said Motti, unable to help himself in response to Skywalker's question.

"Wait," said a woman from Skywalker's right as she stepped closer to Motti. She was quite small, but had fierce and unwavering brown eyes that regarded Motti with cold consideration. "I know him. He was second in command under Governor Tarkin when Alderaan was destroyed." She looked Motti up and down as he did the same to her and they both recognized each other at the same time with equal parts anger and grim satisfaction. "I took you for part of the casualties of that first battle station."

"Sorry to disappoint you, Your Highness," said Motti scathingly.

Sighing inwardly at Motti's inability to follow simple orders, Jerjerrod figured he had maybe ten seconds to think up some defensive strategy for talking Motti out of dying by some vigilante self-righteous crusade. He had no boundaries whatsoever from insulting the Sith to insulting a princess and if this was indeed Princess Leia Organa, she would not be so forgiving of Motti's role in the destruction of her home planet.

"It's a shame you weren't blasted into space dust on that day. I don't know how you found yourself here, but when this business with the Imperial bunker is over, I plan to make you stand trial for the two billion lives lost on Alderaan."

"I already stood trial for that crime."

"Oh, and who passed judgment for you?"

"The Emperor."

"Well, seeing as how you're still alive, I doubt he saw committing genocide as a crime."

"I was accused of desertion and cowardice but cleared of both charges."

"Then you have yet to stand trial for the actual crime you committed."

"And which crime would that be? Following my commanding officer's orders?"

"I don't recall you hesitating at all when Tarkin ordered you to destroy my planet."

"If I had, we would not be having this conversation. I only conceived the weapon that blew your planet into the atmosphere, Your Highness, I didn't decide to unleash that weapon upon it."

"Have you any remorse at all for what you've done?" asked the princess in exasperation.

Jerjerrod was hoping against hope that Motti would say yes, but the powerful heat he felt coming off of Motti to signify his anger was telling him that Motti would answer with a resounding no. The princess obviously anticipated the same, but so apparently did Skywalker whose grip on the metal cylinder tightened just a fraction. Jerjerrod had seen a very similar weapon hanging from Vader's belt but had never seen it used before and had no desire to see it used now, so he was praying that Motti didn't say something to goad the princess.

"For certain things I have done, yes I have remorse, but that is not one of those things. Had I refused, Tarkin would have given the order to my underling and your planet would have been blown up all the same and my conscience would be clear all the same because Alderaan was destined to become space dust with or without my participation. It was only by an unhappy coincidence that the chain of command made it so that I had to take ten steps behind Tarkin to confirm the order that the operator had already heard. Just military flourish, if you will, and so I had no part in the events of that day other than being in the room with you."

"Being an Imperial is crime enough."

"Then you would be better served shooting me right now, because I won't be standing another trial for something I didn't do," said Motti vehemently.

"You have no say in the matter. None," spat the princess. "I'm going to show you fairness and mercy the likes of which you never considered showing me or my people, but if you push me, you'll make it to that trial in pieces."

Jerjerrod knew better than anyone Motti's proclivity for getting under people's skin and oftentimes relishing that negative effect he had on someone. He did not know or trust that the princess would be able to hold back from taking a few fingers or teeth just to teach him a lesson and he trusted her restraint even less if Motti did manage to push her too far.

"Then you must include me in this inevitable trial, Your Highness," said Jerjerrod, stepping toward Motti, coming level with him, and then blocking him from the princess's blaster all without lowering his hands from his head.

"Admirable though it is in defending your men, Commander, you have no say in what we choose to do with this one," said the princess.

"If you are adamant about condemning him for the crimes you have stated, you must try me for the same crimes. Admiral Motti and I created the blueprints to produce the Death Star. We are equal in our part in making the monstrosity that hovers above us now. The only difference is that you had not met me until this moment."

"And why would you vouch for him?"

"He's not," said Motti, trying to push Jerjerrod aside, but Jerjerrod jammed the heel of his boot into the toe of Motti's and was rewarded with Motti swearing behind him as he nursed his injury.

"I don't. I do not excuse the things he has done, but I know for a fact that what he says is true when he claims that he had no say in the attack on Alderaan. I know from the ship's log that was sent to all participating battle stations and from word of mouth from Lord Vader who you may recall was also in that room with you, Your Highness. And so disregarding that, I know there is still much you wish him to answer for, and I would answer for everything as well on account of him being one of my men and my friend."

"That's either incredibly brave or outrageously stupid of you," said Skywalker.

"Given that I did the same thing when he went on trial before the Emperor and it was my word that saved him, I am inclined to think the former, Commander. I have so few men left who I could consider friends and friends are the one thing we have as servants of the Empire, so I will do what I can to keep what I have. We are even discouraged and sometimes disciplined for having any friendly affiliation with other officers, which is why we find ourselves here. My humanity cost several of my men their lives, so it is my duty to protect those who remain."

He knew he had struck a chord with the Jedi as well as some of the other rebels who had never before considered that the men in service to the Empire were also human but deprived of many of their liberties as well. Not all men were so committed to the Emperor's quota and hell-bent on wiping out rebel resistance out of some self-serving need to punish someone. Most men who enlisted did so because they had nothing else to live for but a fair amount decided to commit to a lifetime of servitude just to send a measly source of income back home to their struggling families who they would rarely–if ever–see.

All these men had left was each other and Vader was trying to take away even that from Jerjerrod in singling out Motti for execution. If these rebels who fought for what they believed was justice, peace, and freedom could sympathize with an Imperial, one of their causes had to be wrong, and Jerjerrod knew it was not the rebel cause.

"What's your name, Commander?" asked Skywalker with a look akin to empathy and pity on his face.

"Tiaan Jerjerrod, senior architect and more or less moff in the Imperial Fleet," said Jerjerrod, then prompted the others to do the same.

"Conan Motti, secondary architect and admiral of the Imperial Fleet."

"Firmus Piett, Fleet Admiral of the Executor ."

"How did you come to be out here in rebel territory?"

"We were shot down," answered Piett simply without going into the details of how and why.

"Not by us," said the tallest rebel who Jerjerrod recognized to be both a quarry of Motti and Piett at one point, Captain Solo, though his arm band revealed that he had been appointed general.

"No, not by you," Jerjerrod agreed, waiting for the Jedi to piece the logic together. If he was even one tenth as powerful as Vader, Skywalker would be able to sense that Jerjerrod was trying to convey a message to him and then discover that Jerjerrod shared in an inkling of that power.

In a long pause during which the Jedi and Jerjerrod stared at each other, Jerjerrod was projecting everything he thought Skywalker should know to promote full transparency. It would not do to lie when the truth was easy enough to find out. He needed to do whatever he could to ensure the safety of his men. Finally, Skywalker lifted his chin in a subtle nod that he understood.

"And did Vader tell you what you are, Commander?"

"No, only what I might become," said Jerjerrod cryptically so that none of the men besides Motti and Piett would know to what he was referring. "I don't believe there is a word for what I am, but of one thing I am certain and that is that I am still in command of these men and I ordered them to stand down in the hope of saving them. If I made an error in doing so, I would prefer for you to shoot me first."

"We won't go down without a fight," piped up one trooper. "Say the word and we'll fight for you, Commander."

"There's no need for any of you to die on my account," said Jerjerrod, though his heart knew a terrible ache in that his men were as blindly devoted to him as he had been to the Emperor for most of his life.

"As long as none of your men do something stupid, none of you need to worry about being shot tonight. We accept your full surrender. You all will be placed in binders now before we take you back to our camp."

"Are we to be blindfolded as well?" asked Piett.

"Considering that you were lost out here for two days without running into anyone or anything until now, I don't think we need to worry about you picking up on any specific details that would lead you to our camp. By the time you returned to your bunker–if you were planning to make a run for it–we will have evacuated our campsite."

"Alright, keep those hands above the head, fellas, or Chewbacca here will blast a hole the size of my fist right through your throats," said General Solo.

As Skywalker himself came forward to secure Jerjerrod's wrists, he beckoned that Jerjerrod step away from his men to engage in a somewhat private conversation.

"You know why your ship crashed." It was not a question, though how and why Skywalker knew was another matter.

"I know."

"I don't. Do feel free to share," Motti interjected, having leaned closer to hear what they were discussing.

Jerjerrod cast a regretful eye upon Motti. "I already told you why."

"No, actually, you only said that it was friendly fire. Beforehand, you said that you believed Vader wanted you dead and would likely kill me as well, but you never confirmed that that was indeed why we were shot down."

"I told you that he ordered me to put you on the bridge, knowing the order would have to be given to blow it. He knew that I would want to protect you if he attempted to kill you in my presence again and that you were proving to be a distraction. He gave the order to dispose of you and make it look like an accident and when I disobeyed that order, he knew that I'd chosen you over my rank, my loyalty, and my life. He made our ship go down in the hopes that you and I would die in the crash, thus simultaneously doing away with a man who is a nuisance and a man who is a threat to him."

"You," said Motti skeptically. "What exactly is it about you that poses a threat to him?"

"Vader isn't stupid," said Skywalker in a hushed tone. "He knows how the Emperor would try to use either Commander Jerjerrod or me just as he used Vader long ago. My Jedi Master told me how the Emperor had an apprentice before Vader and how, when that apprentice had outlived his use, the Emperor had Vader kill and then replace the man. The Emperor stays in power and has the up-and-coming, newer, more promising, more malleable individual kill whichever Sith is currently serving him. Vader knows that the Emperor would want either of us to shape into the next Sith and so he had your ship shot down to eliminate one of us. I'm sure he doesn't like you, Admiral, but if he wanted to kill you so badly before, he would have done it before now. He was aiming to kill the commander and solely the commander, even at the expense of others that need not have died. Commander Jerjerrod is a threat and Admiral Motti is a nuisance. The commander was his goal and if he happened to kill others in the process, it's a small price to pay."

Motti looked like he had just been force-fed some extremely foul concoction in coming to a grim conclusion. "So, despite what you told me earlier, Vader thinks you could become powerful enough to pose a threat to him? He thinks that you are capable of usurping his position as the Emperor's right-hand man?"

Jerjerrod did not miss the mocking quality to Motti's tone. It did seem a far stretch, but Vader was justified in wanting to deal with a situation before it became an issue, not that Jerjerrod approved of being the issue in question.

"It would seem that you aren't the only one who doesn't trust me for something I've not yet done, Admiral."