"As I thought, I was made to live in such a peaceful environment."
"Right right? As a goddess, there really is no alternative to being pampered all day."
Kazuma and Aqua sat at a table by a window that provided a total view of the courtyard. Since Iris was in the middle of her lessons, the boy had decided it would be pointless to leave his sanctuary.
"Look at that man down there, fighting with that woman first thing in the morning when he should be catering to my needs."
Aqua griped and took a sip of her tea. The breakfast that the servants had brought was tasty, but a bowl of the Food of the Gods sounded good right about now. That, and some more of that royal wine.
"Indeed. It is nothing short of barbaric. Which is exactly why our meat-headed Crusader has been flocking to him as of late. Ah, speak of the devil."
Kazuma voiced his agreement when he noticed the tank of their party making her way towards the center of the courtyard with Yunyun, which made sense. The awkward mage was probably checking on her party member.
Lucky bastard.
Aqua's eyes narrowed in suspicion as she watched the following interaction down below. Not just their resident M, but the other noblewoman was acting far too suspect around that man. Just look at him, all flustered with so many pretty girls surrounding him.
"I do find it rather concerning with how much attention that man has been receiving as of late. Perhaps it is time that I remind him just who the mother of his child is."
"Normally I would advise against such nonsense, but I am inclined to knock that shinobi down a few pegs."
Kazuma sent his original partner a thumbs up, one she returned in full.
"...What are you two doing?"
Megumin, who had been standing there for a while, stared at her party members with a deadpan expression.
"Ah, Megumin. You have a bone to pick with Naruto as well, yes? Come help me confront that man about flirting with other women."
Aqua, now brimming with confidence from being egged on by her party leader, stood from her seat and pointed out the window.
"Darkness will get mad if you start spreading strange rumors again. Do you want to feel the wrath of her death grip?"
Megumin idly said, causing the Arch Priest to flinch and instinctively hold her head. It seemed the girl had been traumatized.
"Anyways, let's get moving. We're going to tour the magic arsenals to find the Divine Relic the Chivalrous Thieves are after!"
"No way. What good would it do me to aimlessly walk around all day looking at expensive weapons that only snobby rich-folk can afford? Naruto can handle the search. I'm going to wait here until Iris is finished with her lessons. We have a lot of catching up to do."
Kazuma waved his hand dismissively before leaning back in his chair and taking another sip of his tea.
"You mean that Iris?"
Megumin pointed out the window, and Kazuma spewed his tea right into Aqua's face.
"WHAT!?"
"Gyah!? Kazuma, you jerk! Now I have to change out of my beautiful dress!"
Ignoring the noisy goddess, Kazuma pressed his face against the glass. Sure enough, Iris was currently making her way towards Naruto. She must have finished her lessons early.
But why wasn't she coming to him first!?
"Naruto-nii!"
"Oh! Good morning, Your Highness!"
Iris quickly made her way towards the center of the courtyard where Naruto stood with a cheerful grin. She opened her mouth to speak, but quickly held her tongue when she noticed the rest of the group that was present.
As much as she wanted to dive right into getting answers from the adventurer, she would have to wait until they were alone.
"G-good morning, Naruto-sama, Lalatina, Yunyun-sama, and Claire…"
"Good morning, Iris. Are you finished with your lessons for today?"
Darkness asked with a fond smile of her own. She really hoped the princess didn't see her bickering with Naruto just now. Claire had warned her that the young girl had been bombarding her with questions about Naruto.
"Indeed. Her Highness was adamant that she join the tour today, so she worked extra hard."
Rain was the one to respond as she walked up to the group, having followed the princess from the castle.
"I suppose we can depart now that everyone has gathered. Unless you would like to rest first, Naruto-dono?"
Claire asked the shinobi, who tilted his head in confusion.
"I don't mind going now, but aren't we missing a few people?"
He was half expecting Kazuma and Aqua to be asleep, but Megumin would definitely want to take part in exploring the castle and see all of their artifacts.
"Ah, yes. That's right… How forgetful of me."
Claire mumbled while averting her gaze.
'At least try to make it a little less obvious…'
Naruto thought while scratching at his whisker marks. Kazuma sure did his best to make the bodyguard dislike him.
"Actually, I think it might be more efficient if Claire and I take Naruto-sama and start on the West wing. Rain can take Lalatina and the others and start on the East wing. What do you think, Lalatina?"
Iris suddenly asked and looked up at the Crusader.
"W-well, I'm sure that it would be fine… But, you see… My comrades have been looking forward to going on this tour together, Your Highness. It might be disappointing if we went our separate ways."
Darkness stuttered while gesturing towards Yunyun, who raised an eyebrow.
'Is Darkness… Asking for my help?'
Yunyun thought, and her suspicions were further enhanced when the noblewoman sent her a pleading look.
While the idea of Naruto being alone Claire was troubling, there was only one reason she could think of as to why Darkness was against the idea of splitting up the group.
She wanted to get closer to Naruto.
'But if we all stick together… I can make sure that no strange developments occur while potentially becoming friends with Claire!'
Her mind settled, Yunyun nodded her head.
"I-it's true, Your Highness. I was very much looking forward to touring the castle with my party member."
"O-oh, of course! Yunyun-sama can come along too then, and Rain will take Lalatina and the rest!"
Iris readily replied, her eyes turning to the Crusader in anticipation.
Darkness grew troubled as she tried to come up with another excuse. She needed to make sure Naruto didn't do or say anything stupid in front of Claire this time around, or else talk of the "Forbidden Love Triangle" would surely start to come up again.
'Ah, so that's what's going on…'
Naruto thought while smiling bitterly. Iris, ever the mischievous one, was eating up Darkness's flustered state. Eyes flashing yellow, he tapped into Kiki's power again via Synchronize.
'You should probably ease up on the teasing, Iris. I don't know how much Darkness can take before she explodes.'
'N-Naruto-nii!? How…'
Iris's eyes went wide as she looked at the shinobi, noticing his new appearance.
'Hehe… Don't be so obvious! Although your expression was hilarious.'
Naruto teased, earning a slight pout from the young girl before she did her best to maintain a neutral face.
"Very well, Lalatina. It seems the majority would prefer to travel as a group. Shall we fetch Kazuma onii-sama and be on our way?"
Iris asked and gestured towards the castle, but not before sending an expecting stare towards the shinobi.
Naruto didn't need to use Telepathy to know what the little girl was thinking.
Darkness sighed in relief, her expression finally relaxing.
"Yes, I will go and-"
"NARUTOOOO!"
The group turned to see Kazuma running towards them in a full sprint, with Aqua and Megumin trailing along from behind.
'Might this one suggest testing another ability?'
Kiki asked, her eyes glinting mischievously as the tip of her tail turned light blue.
Naruto snickered and took a couple steps forward. Reaching his hand out, a blast of icy wind shot out. The pavement between the shinobi and Kazuma instantly froze, surprising the group.
"Huh…? W-waaaah!"
Kazuma yelped when his foot hit the ice and slipped, causing the boy to come crashing down with a thud.
Naruto dragged his hand, continuing to pour mana into the ice magic which created an icy path for Kazuma to rip past the group. He then flicked his hand, causing ice to form a sort of ramp that curved up like a cane.
"W-wait! Stop! Stoooop!"
Kazuma shouted as he zoomed up the ramp, his speed easily launching him into the air in the opposite direction he came. Arms flailing, the boy snapped his teary eyes closed when he thought he was going to hit the ground.
But he fell right into Naruto's open arms.
"Heh… I could have a lot of fun with this ability!"
The shinobi mused as dozens of ideas began to sprout in his mind.
"S-so glad I c-c-c-could h-help, y-you bas-s-s-stard…"
Kazuma growled while shivering uncontrollably. Scrambling out of the ninja's grasp, he pointed a shaky finger in his friend's face.
"W-w-what I w-w-was t-t-t-trying to t-t-to s-say was-s-s…"
Damn it! Why was he so cold!? It was like the coldness from the slide was sticking to him!
Wait… was that frost on his fingers!? Was this a Frostbite status effect!?
"A-A-Aqua!"
Kazuma made a move to run to his party's healer, as this was her one and only strong suit. But in his haste, he slipped on the ice again. He would have gone on another joyride had Naruto's hand not grabbed the back of his collar.
"Pfft…! Only Kazuma would get Frostbite from an ice slide."
Aqua stifled her laughter while pointing at the NEET. But since she wasn't paying attention, she stepped on the ice-
"Wah!?"
-and proceeded to follow in Kazuma's slippery footsteps.
"...As fun as that looks, I don't think I'm dressed for the occasion."
Megumin noted while glancing down at her thin black dress, opting to walk around the ice. But she was definitely making Naruto make them a slide when they got home.
'Do you have any healing magic, Kiki?'
'Regrettably, this one does not… But we could warm your friend up with fire magic?'
Images of Kiki's various flame-based techniques flashed in the shinobi's mind, causing his face to pale.
'Uhhh… Maybe we should hold off on that.'
Naruto wasn't keen on turning everyone here to ash…
At the same time, Darkness was reaching out in anticipation to grab Aqua.
"G-grab my hand, Aqua!"
"How am I going so fast!?"
The goddess wailed, and she successfully grabbed the Crusader's hand. Unfortunately for Aqua, Darkness had one foot on the ice.
"Oh no~!"
Darkness panicked(?) as she was dragged along with Aqua towards the ramp.
'This is starting to get a little out of hand…'
Naruto instinctively raised his hand again, and with a flare of mana, he clenched his fist.
All of the ice crumpled to pieces, causing the girls to come to a rolling stop as their bodies met with friction once more.
'Woah! Kiki, your magic is amazing!'
'This one is thankful for the praise… Mine master will surely come to control all of the Kitsune arts in no time at all.'
Now that everyone was gathered, they could go onto tour!
"Waaaaah! My dress is s-s-s-soaking w-w-wet again, and I landed on D-D-Darknes-s-s's six pack!"
"I-I-I don't have a six pack, Aqua! Y-y-you landed on my a-a-armor!"
Aqua cried while shivering in a growing puddle of ice water. Next to her, Darkness was holding her wet form while muttering stuff that sounded like "This isn't bad" and other nonsensical things.
They would need to change their clothes.
"...I apologize for causing all of this."
"Not at all. Naruto-dono was simply testing his new powers, right?"
Claire responded while staring at the shivering form that was Kazuma. If Naruto didn't know any better, he could have sworn the woman was smirking.
–Some time later, the group was now traversing through the hall of the west wing of the castle. Their first stop was the royal armory, where not just the royal family kept their weapons and armor, but the noble families who were closely associated such as the Symphonia and Dustiness families.
As one would expect, the royal armory was filled with shining blades and tough looking armor. Potions, scrolls, and other support items were stowed away in crates.
"Kinda reminds me of Wiz's shop. She'd probably want to sell stuff like this."
Naruto commented as he browsed through some of the crates.
"Ah yes, I remember Naruto-san mentioning a friend like that. If you would like, I could refer your friend to some of our suppliers?"
Rain offered, earning a scoff from Megumin who picked up a scroll and inspected it indignantly.
"Hah! This scroll only contains Intermediate Magic! That's child's play to a Crimson Demon! Even someone fresh out of our magic academy can make one with Advanced Magic!"
"I heard the Crimson Demons were constantly revolutionizing the magical arts, but to think they could create such an intricate magic item so easily… I wonder how much money they could make if they did business here in the capital…"
Rain proceeded to mutter something about taking a vacation to visit the Crimson Magic Village under her breath.
"Oh, so are you telling me you could have been making us magic scrolls to sell this entire time? If so, then please, tell me why we had to suffer through poverty for so long."
Kazuma asked, causing the mage to stiffen and avert her gaze.
"W-well… There are no scrolls powerful enough in the world to contain my magic…"
Megumin mumbled while gently returning the scroll to the crate.
Naruto laughed at their antics, but that was certainly an interesting thought. He wondered if Yunyun was able to create magic scrolls.
"Speaking of that dusty shop, I wonder how Eddy-chan is doing. Do you think she would want a sibling?"
Aqua commented slyly while nudging the shinobi with her elbow.
Naruto's face paled. That girl had been awfully quiet until now. Was she waiting for him to let his guard down or something?
"Next time that child comes down to visit, I think we should surprise her with gifts! Since, you know, as her pare-"
"O-oh yeah, Aqua! I think I can sense something really strange in this box over here. Ah, but my observation skills are just no match for yours… Can you help me?"
Naruto interrupted while pointing at a crate in the far corner of the room.
"I-is that so…? H-hmph! I guess I have no choice but to assist you! Honestly, what would you do without me?"
Seeming rather pleased, Aqua walked on over to investigate the "suspicious crate".
Naruto fought back the urge to sigh. Crisis averted…
'Now what was that all about…'
Rain thought, her eyes flashing with interest.
On the other side of the room, Darkness was inspecting a set of armor with Claire.
"This armor looks durable…"
Darkness noted while trailing a finger down the breastplate, and Claire nodded her head in agreement.
"Indeed. It was made by the finest Blacksmiths in the capital."
"Where did Lalatina obtain this set?"
Iris asked while gesturing towards Darkness's armor.
"I ordered it from a Blacksmith from the Crimson Demon Village. It is made of manatite, but… I did make a few alterations to adjust it to my fighting style."
The Crusader replied while looking down at her adventuring attire.
"Ah, I was wondering since a lot of Lady Dustiness's vital areas are exposed. But I suppose it would allow for more mobility on the battlefield. A tactical decision indeed."
Claire noted while analysing her fellow noblewoman's armor, and Iris's eyes sparkled with awe. Both were clearly impressed.
'There's only one reason I can think of why she removed those pieces of armor.'
Yunyun thought while staring at the noblewoman flatly. But leaving that aside, she was having a hard time finding the right moment to insert herself into the conversation. So far, she had yet to say a single word!
If this went on, she could kiss her friendship with Claire goodbye!
"Yuynun-dono, do you think the Chivalrous Thieves would target anything in this room? As a Crimson Demon, I feel that your opinion would be invaluable."
Claire asked with a smile, and the three turned to the mage.
Suddenly on the spot, Yunyun lowered her head timidly.
"No."
No? NO!? Is that all she was capable of saying in such a crucial moment!?
Stupid! She was so stupid!
"I-I see…"
Claire smiled awkwardly, but didn't press in fear of annoying the girl. After all, Yunyun was obviously upset for being put on the spot like that. Her eyes were glowing profusely right now… She would have to tread carefully going forward, else risk cementing a bad relation with Naruto's comrade for good.
"I agree with Yunyun, Claire-san. While this room contains many powerful items, I don't think the Chivalrous Thieves would declare war on the Royal Army for a simple sword or potion."
Naruto said and walked up to the group, much to Yunyun's relief.
"Hey, Darkness's family's armory is close by, isn't it? Let's go there next!"
Aqua, who had grown bored of rummaging through the crates, chimed in while pulling on the female knight's arm.
"A-actually, my family doesn't keep that much at the capital anymore… Much less something that would be targeted by the thieves."
Darkness admitted while scratching at her cheek awkwardly, earning a disappointed cry from the goddess.
Naruto frowned. He had a sinking suspicion as to why the Dustiness family would pull out their supplies from the royal castle…
"Claire-san, I remember your family owning various swords and battlesuits, but do you think there is anything that the Thieves might target?"
"Ah, umm… No. Other than my father's former battlesuit that has been passed down for generations."
Claire responded while struggling to meet the shinobi's eyes.
"Oh, really? Can I take a look at it? Does it have any special enchantments?"
Naruto asked, wondering if it might have the ability to, say, swap bodies with someone?
'You're already quite familiar with it…'
Both Kazuma and Darkness thought in unison when Claire seemed to be struggling to come up with a response.
"It's probably not that battlesuit, Naruto. Why don't we try somewhere else?"
"Y-yes, I agree with Kazuma-dono! Shall we head to the kitchen!? We hold numerous magic items there!"
Claire declared and stiffly led the way towards the exit.
Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but held his tongue.
He was confident that the body swapping magic item wasn't going to be in the kitchen, but he couldn't say that in fear of raising suspicion.
"Speaking of those battlesuits, I kind of miss wearing the one you let me borrow last time, Claire-san. It fit me well, both in and out of battle."
Naruto reminisced with a grin, prompting Claire's shoulders to stiffen.
Iris's eyes flashed with opportunity.
"Would you like to wear the Symphonia suit again, Naruto-nii? Perhaps there is a special suit that Claire could give you."
"Oh! Is there? I wouldn't want to trouble you though, Claire-san…"
Naruto grew excited at the thought of having another outfit for adventuring. Not that he hated wearing his adventuring gear, he loved his Chunin vest. But that Symphonia suit was the perfect blend between armor, flexibility, and nobility.
"M-maybe there is…"
Was Claire's meek response as steam began to protrude from her ears, and she quickly led the way out of the room. She had told Iris about the truth behind the suit to clear any misunderstandings, but it seemed to have had the opposite effect…
While embarrassing, it was certainly good news to know that Naruto felt comfortable in her family's clothing.
Iris had to hide her smile with her hands as Naruto followed after the flustered noblewoman. How bold!
Now, how would Lalatina react!?
"Why so serious, Lalatina? Are you perhaps… feeling a little jealous?"
"W-why ever would I be jealous? Surely you jest, Your Highness."
Darkness replied with a robotic tone and stalked after Naruto and Claire. She needed to have a serious conversation with that man, but it had to be when they were alone. To make matters worse, it really seemed Iris was reveling in the drama.
'Kuh… This isn't the humiliation that I desire!'
She just wanted to return to Axel…
Great, now she was starting to sound like Kazuma.
Iris's excitement grew even more. Lalatina's reaction all but confirmed it! There was definitely something going on between her, Naruto, and Claire!
"Puehehe… silly princess. It's obvious Naruto just wants to wear that battlesuit again to match with the great me. Poor fellow… Too shy to admit such things, even though we already have Eddy-chan. What am I going to do with that man?"
Aqua boasted while strumming a hand down her dark blue dress and walking out the door with a skip to her step.
Iris blinked. Naruto and Kazuma had mentioned on numerous occasions just how… difficult the Arch Priest was, but this wasn't the first time that name Eddy was brought up.
In fact, the Hero Candidate Mitsurugi Kyouya had visited the castle just the other day talking about how Aqua had pranked him by claiming she had a child with that very name.
Who was this Eddy person?
Iris's smile grew. On top of Lalatina and Claire, it seemed Naruto was involved with yet another potentially scandalous situation.
Inside the royal kitchen were a variety of countertops and racks that were filled with spices and wines. It was almost overwhelming.
'I guess the servants did bring me all the ingredients I needed to make ramen back then…'
Naruto thought as they followed the head chef, a middle aged man wearing what one would consider a traditional chef's attire which consisted of a loose white shirt and pants that were covered by a matching apron, and a poofy white hat on his head.
"We welcome you to the kitchen, Your Highness, Naruto-sama… Please excuse my staff, they are preparing for today's lunch. We will be serving a Sea Serpent Bisque with a side of garlic roasted Tomatoes."
The man revealed with a bow.
'Sea Serpent, huh?'
Kazuma grimaced, memories of the creepy smile on Joe's Sea Serpent during the Nuzloft Tournament. It made him shiver.
"This is a perfect opportunity then. We are currently giving Naruto-dono and his comrades a tour around the castle to showcase all of the magic items we are currently using. Would you mind giving us a demonstration?"
Claire asked, her expression ever stern. But the man was likely used to her demeanor as he showed no signs of intimidation. As expected of the head chef of the royal kitchen.
"But of course! This is in regards to the investigation of the so called 'Chivalrous Thieves', I presume? My staff would be happy to assist, Naruto-sama!"
"Hey, just so you know, I'm the one who is leading this investigation, not Naruto. As such, I would be happy to learn about your magical inventory."
Kazuma stated and puffed out his chest.
'There, what do you think of that, little sister? Your onii-sama is taking charge. Pretty cool, huh?'
Unfortunately, Iris appeared to be in the middle of whispering something to Naruto.
"N-Naruto-nii…? Do you think I could maybe have… That?"
"Hehe… What a spoiled child. But how could I say no? But it'll have to wait until after the tour, okay?"
Naruto flashed the little girl a grin before raising his hand.
"If it isn't too much trouble, may I use your kitchen again to make Her Highness some ramen later?"
"P-please do, Naruto-sama! In fact, I would be most appreciative if you could show my proteges your legendary techniques!"
The head chef seemed rather eager at the idea, which made sense. Despite having so many high level cooks in one place, Naruto's maxed out Cooking skill was something of rarity even in the capital. Couple that with the fact that Naruto knew how to make a foreign dish that was growing incredibly popular amongst the nobility…
It was just ramen, though.
Kazuma ground his teeth. Naruto's ramen may be delicious, but the battle wasn't over yet! He had a couple stories that Iris would love to hear, he just needed to bide his time for the right opportunity.
"This is where we keep our produce. Viscous little beasts, they are. But the more lively the vegetable, the more nutrients they contain. We only serve the best quality food to the royal family."
The man approached what looked like a cage concealed by a heavy curtain. With a swift pull, the curtain fell away, revealing an enclosure filled with vegetables scattered in various sections. The creatures within, likely asleep moments before, stirred and grew agitated as the sudden light flooded their space.
From tomatoes, to broccoli, to even cabbages, there was no shortage of variety within the coop.
A bead of sweat rolled down Kazuma's cheek. It would never be weird to him that the produce in this world were sentient.
Wait, this was it!
"Iris! Did I tell you about the time Naruto sexually harassed Lalatina during the Cabbage Harvest!?"
"Tell me! You must tell me at once!"
"You idiot!? What nonsense are you trying to tell Her Majesty!?"
"D-don't tell such an amazingly embarrassing story in front of so many people! Also, I told you not to call me that!"
Iris seemed extremely eager to hear his story, but Claire and Darkness became very angry and raised their voices.
Kazuma sighed and raised his hands in defeat.
"I guess I'll just tell you about it later…"
"This man…! I-I apologize for my comrade's outburst… Please, continue."
Darkness shot Kazuma one final glare before bowing to the cook.
"Of course… To ensure the safety of my staff, His Majesty, the king, acquired this magic item. A knife that allows us to cut down our ingredients from within the cage."
The chef continued to reveal a short blade. Upon first inspection, it looked no more different than your average house knife. But as the man stepped up to the cage, and a Tomato pressed itself against the bars as if to attack, he made a few motions with his wrist. Within an instant, the Tomato fell into ten precise slices.
After repeating the method a few more times, the section that had contained the Tomatoes was now entirely sliced up.
"Amazing… The blade made no contact with the bars."
Darkness noted as one of the staff members opened the enclosure to retrieve the Tomatoes.
"Indeed. It is a kitchen knife that can only harm produce, see?"
The man brought the blade to his hand, causing the group to gasp. But to their relief, the knife harmlessly phased through his hand.
Iris clapped her hands, earning a bow from the chef.
But while the item was impressive, it still wasn't what they were looking for.
"That was the first of my kitchen's use of magical items. The other is right over here."
Making their way to the center of the space, the group was presented with a large furnace.
"After properly preparing the ingredients with the necessary spices and oils, we place it in our pride and joy. The Instant Roaster!"
The head chef opened the stove, and a wave of heat washed over the group. Within the confines of the furnace was a beautiful red fire. The pan was placed inside before the man closed the magic item.
"This magic flame is eternal, no amount of liquid can smolder it… and it instantly cooks food to perfection!"
After a few seconds passed, the chef opened the furnace to retrieve the pan. True to his word, the tomatoes were flawlessly roasted.
"What a wonderful description… Not even the Crimson Magic Clan has managed to create something eternal!"
Megumin marveled at the oven with sparkling eyes.
"Don't even think about coming back here to try and steal the flame, Megumin. Who knows the amount of destruction you'd cause."
Yunyun said with a pointed tone, causing her fellow clansman to stiffen.
"W-what are you talking about, Yunyun? Even I wouldn't do something that stupid!"
Megumin barked, but her gaze drifted back to the furnace. It was like the eternal flame was calling to her as it flickered, its essence dancing in her eyes.
"If left unchecked, the entire world could burn…"
"O-okay, I think we should probably move on! As impressive as these magic items are, I don't think Thieves are after cooking tools…"
Kazuma stuttered, making sure to stand in between Megumin and the furnace. It was then he noticed something was missing.
Or rather, someONE.
'...Where's Aqua?'
The blue thing was gone, and it made the boy's stomach sink. But Kazuma heard the goddess before he saw her, and the whole group turned to see the girl standing next to the impressive wine rack.
"Hah!? What do you mean I can't have any of this wine!? Don't you know who I'm acquainted with!?"
"I-I'm sorry ma'am, but ever since a couple bottles went missing the other day, the boss has been very strict with the wine! You'll have to wait for lunch to be served!"
She appeared to be in the middle of an argument with one of the cooks, who said something rather peculiar.
Kazuma was about to charge down there and berate the goddess for causing a scene, but Naruto placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.
"Don't worry, I got this."
The shinobi said and gave his friend a thumbs up.
Although he was still mad at the guy, Kazuma couldn't help but wonder how the ninja was going to approach this.
Noticing the blonde making his way towards her, Aqua perked up.
"Oh, Naruto! Perfect timing! See? This is THAT Naruto Uzumaki, the Hero Candidate who will be the one to defeat the Demon King! Now will you give us some wine?"
"U-umm…"
The cook nervously looked at Naruto, who sighed.
"Aqua, I hope you're not using my name to get people to bend to your will. Also, don't forget we're in the presence of the princess. You can drink after we're done with the tour."
"What!? But that'll take forever! You would be wise to keep your promise to make me happy, or Eddy-chan will-"
Aqua began to complain, but Naruto took a swift step forward. Taking her hand into his own, the boy stared deep into her eyes.
"Aqua… We are on an important task to investigate the Thieves that laid waste to Alexei-sama's wine, remember? Knowing the kind and gracious woman that you are, an hour or two is nothing, right?"
"R-right… Yeah, that's right! I'm glad you noticed my good qualities, Naruto! Let's get a move on, people!"
The goddess declared while marching towards the exit.
Naruto snickered to himself. After learning Aqua was weak to compliments back in the Golden Chalice, handling Aqua in public was a piece of cake!
"Harem Hokage…"
Kazuma muttered as he passed by the shinobi.
…What?
"Naruto the Player…"
Megumin added as she followed after her party leader.
Huh…?
"D-don't think your sly words will work on me, but feel free to try them out on me anytime."
Darkness scolded(?) as she left the kitchen.
Why…!?
"I know you mean well, Naruto… But please save such kind words for Wiz-san."
Yunyun whispered while
Even Yunyun…!?
Naruto slumped in defeat. He stopped Aqua's nonsense, didn't he? What was up with these reactions?
"Here we have a collection of magic artifacts that help our staff maintain the cleanliness of the royal castle."
Heidel, the butler that was coincidentally in charge of making sure their group was taken care of during their stay, led the way into what could only be described as the world's largest broom closet.
Larger than an average house, the room was packed full of maids and butlers that were coming in and out of the room to grab supplies.
'I guess I underestimated what went on behind the scenes here…'
Kazuma thought as he stepped out of the way for someone carrying a mop and bucket. With so many rooms and square footage to maintain, it was no wonder the cleaning staff was so large.
"Thank you for all of your hard work, the princess says."
"Thank you very much, Your Highness!"
Claire stated, and the entire room paused what they were doing in order to bow in trained unison. It was quite the spectacle.
"Well then, Seba-Heidel… As part of my investigation, if you could present the magical wares that your staff utilizes."
Kazuma cursed himself for the slip of the tongue. But he couldn't help it! Everyone knew the name of a butler had to be Sebastian!
"Of course, Kazuma-sama. The backbone of our tools consists of these magic brooms. They are enchanted to clean by themselves, sweeping up dust and other unwanted matter towards an appointed location."
Heidel explained and gestured to one of the maids who had grabbed one of the brooms. She then muttered something under her breath, presumably to activate the magic item.
The broom proceeded to glow and start sweeping the floor on its own, swishing back and forth as it made its way out of the room with the maid following closely from behind. She was soon followed by multiple other staff members, each equipped with a magic broom.
What a convenient magic item! That had to make the lives of the cleaning staff a helluva lot easier.
"For the particles that are thrown into the air by the brooms, we have one of our elite staff members use a special orb that absorbs matter within a short radius."
This time, Heidel himself presented the next item. It was a small black ball that seemed to be made out of obsidian. After muttering an enchantment, the butler tossed the orb into the air to which it then began to float.
"Kazuma-sama, you hold the skill Create Earth, do you not? If you would."
"Huh? Oh, uh… Sure. Create Earth!"
Caught off guard from the sudden request, Kazuma simply did as requested and aimed his hand towards the magic item. A stream of dirt burst out of his palm, creating a small cloud of dust in the air.
The enchanted orb instantly flew over to the dust and absorbed it all within seconds.
'Convenient! It's like a magic roomba!'
Kazuma thought as the group applauded the demonstration. If he had such magic items, then maintaining the mansion would be a piece of cake!
Aqua seemed to be having similar thoughts as she picked up one of the brooms.
"That looks like fun! What did that maid say to activate it…"
"Ah, Aqua-sama please don't-"
Heidel's face actually paled, showing emotion for the first time Kazuma could account. That was concerning.
Aqua must have said the right words as the broom began to glow, but her smile died on her face as it began to jerk back and forth.
"W-wah! How do I make this thing stop!?"
"Aqua! Be careful!"
Darkness grabbed onto the broom with both hands in an attempt to stop it, but it proved to be too powerful even for her as it started smacking her in the face. Aqua quickly hid behind a table while the broom mercilly attacked the Crusader.
"Darkness! Just let go!"
Naruto barked as he tried to pry the broom from the woman's grip, but it was like her hands were glued to the thing.
"I refuse! What if this thing went rampant and attacked Iris-sama!? As the shield to the royal family, I will protect her!"
Darkness roared, and it would have sounded cool if the broom wasn't actively making an imprint in her face after every word.
Naruto relented and dropped the female knight to the floor, opting to ask Heidel to stop the magic item before things could get any worse.
"Ah…"
"Naruto! Save meee!"
Aqua wailed as she ran from the entire inventory of magical brooms.
"Claire, get Her Highness to safety!"
Naruto shouted, and Claire nodded as she guided a surprised Iris, a dumbfounded Rain, and the remaining staff towards the exit. The shinobi's lips grew thin as Aqua hid behind him, the magic brooms knocking over table after table.
Where the hell was Kazuma!? Why wasn't he watching over his blue thing!?
The ninja spotted a mop of brown hair sticking out from the side of a shelf in the corner of the room.
This guy…!
"Megumin! Put those down!"
"I refuse! As a Crimson Demon, surely you must be as interested as I am to use this item while saying something like 'behold, the never ending void! Vile dust… Here, you shall find your final resting place'!?"
"No! Not at all!"
Megumin and Yunyun appeared to be in the middle of fighting over one of the dust roombas.
In the midst of their struggle, Megumin bumped into the table, which caused the box that contained the rest of the magic items to fall over.
"Oh no…!"
Naruto lunged for the box, but he was too late. It hit the ground and completely broke apart, releasing the orbs to scatter across the floor.
They then began to glow.
"Take cover!"
Naruto shouted and all but tackled Yunyun and Megumin as the magic items lifted into the air and started sucking up their surroundings.
Books, wood splinters, and even chairs were lifted into the air by the combined forces of the orbs.
Naruto himself felt like he was being lifted into the air, so he used his chakra to stick himself and the girls to the floor.
The room began to hum as the magic items seemed to be growing stronger.
"T-they're not deactivating! The command is no longer working!"
Heidel shouted from his hiding spot behind an upturned table, but his panic grew as the swarm of brooms surged toward him, their bristles sweeping aggressively. Just as he braced for impact, their path abruptly shifted, redirecting them toward the center of the room.
"Ah…! W-what is this feeling!? These brooms are relentlessly battering my body! I-is it because they see me as a dirty woman!?"
Darkness moaned as the brooms fought against each other to brush against her.
That girl…!
Naruto craned his head towards Kiki, who was hiding underneath another table. This was seriously getting out of hand. He may regret this, but something had to be done before they were all sucked into an unknown void.
'Kiki, destroy the orbs with your dark magic!'
'Yes, mine master!'
The Kitsune's visible tail turned black as she began to gather mana at its tip.
"Waaaaah!? N-Naruto! I-I-I'm slipping!"
Aqua, who was holding onto the leg of a shaky table for dear life, looked as though she were about to lose her grip.
Growling, Naruto pressed himself against Yunyun and Megumin, securing their position on the floor, and proceeded to fish out a small scroll from his Chunin vest. In a plume of smoke that was immediately sucked up by the vacuuming orbs, a small rope appeared which Naruto grabbed and threw towards the goddess.
"Bind!"
The skill enhanced the rope with mana, causing it to shoot towards Aqua with newfound speed. It wrapped around her body, along with the leg of the table.
At the same time, Kiki fired off a small black ball of condensed mana. She made sure to hold back her output in order to avoid destroying the entire room.
The dark mana ball collided with the collection of magic items, resulting in an implosion of energy that fought against itself until it all shrunk into nothingness.
With the vacuuming orbs now gone, the room fell silent.
Well, aside from the soft pants coming from Darkness. It seemed the brooms had been absorbed at the last second.
'I-is it over?'
Kazuma thought, daring to peek out from his hiding spot. The room was a disaster, with shattered glass, broken furniture, and the magic items all gone. He really hoped he didn't have to pay for all of this…
Naruto sighed. That was a complete mess… Luckily everyone appeared to be fine.
"You okay, Yunyun? Megumin?"
"Y-yes… Thank you, Naruto…"
Yunyun's face was nearly as red as her eyes as she spoke.
"...Hey, when did you start addressing this man so casually?"
Megumin, despite being the secondary cause to all of this, didn't seem to have a shred of guilt as she poked her fellow clansman in the cheek.
That's what she's focused on right now?
Rolling his eyes, Naruto stood up and dusted himself off.
…Actually, there wasn't a speck of dust on him. Those magic items really were convenient.
'I doubt we'll be getting one anytime soon, though…'
Naruto thought as he looked over at Aqua, who was clearly traumatized by the experience. Good thing he learned the Bind skill in preparation for the "heist".
Later that night…
"I am so terribly sorry for the trouble that my comrades caused!"
"P-please, raise your head, Lady Dustiness!"
Claire said in a panic, her normally composed demeanor slipping as Darkness bent at a perfect ninety-degree angle in apology. When the Crusader finally straightened, she offered a reassuring smile.
"You need not worry about the damages, Lady Dustiness. My family will take on the cost of repairs."
"Eh? But… the total cost must be astronomical…"
Darkness blinked, her tone hesitant. Normally, she would have expected Claire to be furious, especially considering the incident had occurred so close to the princess.
"It is Her Highness's wish not to punish anyone. I intend to support her wishes."
Claire replied firmly, though her expression softened into something almost sheepish.
A pit formed in Darkness's stomach. Rarely did Claire seem this hesitant, and she braced herself for what she feared was coming next.
"Lady Dustiness… Are you pursuing Naruto-dono? Romantically, I mean."
There it was.
"N-not at all! Are you still worried about those silly rumors, Claire? The nobility truly love to gossip over nothing! Hahaha!"
Darkness waved her hands frantically, her face flushing.
Claire's shoulders sagged, and to Darkness's surprise, she let out a soft sigh of relief.
"Oh, thank goodness! I must admit, I was a bit worried."
"...Worried? What do you mean?"
"I consider you a friend, Lady Dustiness, and I'd hate for us to become rivals."
Claire smiled, her usual composed tone returning.
"R-rivals? Claire, what are you talking about?"
Darkness's stomach dropped as the meaning of her fellow noblewoman's words began to sink in.
"Naruto-dono, of course. He's… intriguing. A strong, capable man with such unique talents is a rare find, even among the nobility. I have decided that I shall pursue him."
Claire clasped her hands in front of her, her cheeks tinged with a blush.
Darkness's jaw dropped. This was the worst case scenario that she had been fearing. She had to nip this in the bud, but… It was all just so overwhelming, she couldn't find the words for it.
"Naruto-dono possesses the qualities of a man truly worthy of standing beside me. Yes… I realized this the moment he took command of the situation earlier today. No, even before that… His kindness, his undeniable charisma, that strikingly handsome face… It is only natural that I take the initiative before anyone else dares to."
Claire continued, her expression calm and matter-of-fact. In fact, even the Hero Candidate Mitsurugi Kyouya had made an appearance the other day. Normally, she enjoyed the handsome man's company. But this time, all she could do was think about her time spent with Naruto.
That solidified things for the Symphonia heiress. She would make Naruto Uzumaki hers.
"B-but… Claire! You can't just… decide something like that!"
Darkness's face burned red, her hands balling into fists as she struggled to respond.
Wait, why was she getting so frustrated? She also considered Claire a friend. Shouldn't she be happy that friend was going to pursue someone trustworthy?
Naruto had his quirks, and Darkness wanted to see just how far that man could go with said quirks. But it wasn't like she was in love with him… Right?
Claire smiled knowingly.
"Why not? You said you weren't interested, correct? Or… were you lying to me, Lady
Dustiness?"
"N-no! I mean, yes, I said that! But…"
Darkness stammered, torn between indignation and panic.
This was bad. This was really bad. Why was she so flustered all of a sudden? Why was the thought of Claire pursuing Naruto making her chest squeeze so tightly?
"Then there's no issue. You have no claim, and I intend to make mine known so we can finally put those rumors to rest. Surely you won't object to my pursuit of Naruto-dono?"
Claire stated smoothly while looking at the Crusader intently.
"I-I…"
Darkness froze, her mind racing for a way to counter Claire's logic, but nothing came.
"Wonderful."
Claire said, her tone brisk as she straightened her posture.
"Thank you for your blessing, Lady Dustiness. I shall begin planning immediately. Goodnight."
With that, Claire turned on her heel and left, leaving a speechless and thoroughly flustered Darkness behind.
The Crusader leaned against a nearby wall, massaging her temples in an attempt to relieve her growing headache.
Did she just make a mistake?
"Achoo!"
Naruto sneezed. Was someone talking about him just now?
Claire had taken Darkness out of the room so suddenly earlier… They weren't talking about him, were they?
Then again, Aqua was missing too… Maybe the goddess was using his name to try and get some extra wine somewhere. Luckily Rain went out to find the girl, he'd have to thank her later.
"What are you sneezing for? If anyone should have a cold, it would be me after the stunt you pulled earlier with that ice!"
Kazuma complained as he snuggled into his blanket even tighter. Although Aqua had long since cured him of the Frostbite status effect, he could still feel the chill of winter on his neck.
…Wait a minute, there was an actual chill on his neck. Did someone open a window?
"Ah! Kiki! Stop that! I-It's cold!"
Kazuma barked when he turned to see a light blue tipped tail dropping snowflakes onto his head.
The Kitsune yipped and hopped back into Iris's lap, who giggled at the boy's reaction.
"Fufufu… Onii-sama is so grumpy today."
"It's true. What's got you so jumbled up, Kazuma? Do you really crave the princess's attention so much?"
Megumin eyed her party leader suspiciously.
"Poor Kazuma… Has to resort to dirty tricks like telling embarrassing stories about his friends to get Iris's attention."
Naruto mused with a smirk plastered on his face, earning a growl from his fellow Adventurer.
"T-that's because you cheated first, you generic shonen protagonist! I don't have the power to get a million skill points to bedazzle everyone with a maxed out Cooking skill!"
Kazuma's ears burned as he said his piece before rolling over on his bed to turn away from the haters.
"By the way, what happened to Yunyun? She also seemed weirder than usual during dinner. Did you say something weird to her again?"
Megumin asked while pointing towards the awkward mage, who was slumped in a chair in the corner of the room. The girl's eyes seemed lifeless, aimless staring at the ceiling.
"Ah… I think she's just tired from all of the excitement these past few days. Hahaha…"
Naruto laughed nervously while scratching at his whisker marks.
The truth was, he told Yunyun about his bet with Alderp regarding Darkness's debt while they were eating dinner via Telepathy. The poor thing almost choked on her soup.
Naruto had said he wasn't expecting her to help him make the money since it was so much, but the mage was adamant in earning the funds with him.
He really didn't deserve a friend like Yunyun…
"...That look of yours is suspicious in its own right."
"Yes… I agree."
Megumin and Iris narrowed their eyes on the shinobi.
Naruto's face paled. Those two were starting to resonate. While he could handle Iris's curiosity, it would be troubling if she teamed up with Megumin.
"A-anyways, I wonder when the Chivalrous Thieves are going to show up… They seemed pretty strong."
"Right!? There's two thieves, right? I wonder if the other Thief is as stylish as the one we saw at Alderp's villa… Surely they have a catchphrase!"
Megumin jumped to her feet and struck a pose as if imitating the thief, even going as far as to cover her mouth with her hand like a makeshift mask.
"The Thieves are that strong…?"
Iris's expression grew worried, and a twinge of guilt struck the shinobi.
"Don't worry, Iris. I promise nothing is going to happen to you."
Naruto said reassuringly and pat the girl on the head, earning a shy smile from the princess.
"Uwah… Naruto the Player strikes again…"
"No wonder he seduces all the women he interacts with… Harem Hokage."
Megumin grimaced and sat on the bed next to the lump of blankets that was Kazuma, who readily agreed.
"W-whatever! You're just jealous of my awesomeness, Kazuma! Also, you look like a caterpillar!"
Naruto huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, and Iris giggled.
"Nii-sama does look like a caterpillar! Fufufu…!"
"!"
Kazuma rolled back over, his eyes wide with shock. But the action only seemed to fuel their laughter.
"Kazuma doesn't train, so he'll never become the beautiful butterfly he hopes to become. Just a lazy, grumpy, Kazupillar."
Naruto flapped his hands like they were little wings, and Iris had to cover her mouth to keep herself from losing it.
"Pfft…!"
Megumin looked away while making a strange sound, and Kazuma's expression morphed into one of betrayal.
"That's it…!"
Hopping up to his feet, "Kazupillar" bounced his way over to the cackling shinobi. Iris was now on the floor, holding her splitting sides as the bundled boy moved.
"Oh? Does CaterKazupillarzuma want to fight?"
Naruto asked as his friend growled in his face.
"Ahah! S-stop, Naruto-nii! M-my sides…! Hahaha!"
Iris pleaded as she rolled around on the floor, and there were actual tears in her eyes.
Red-faced from embarrassment, Kazuma broke free of his cocoon and poked the ninja's chest.
"You're only this powerful because of that cheat-like power you have sealed inside of you! If I had that power, I'd have stormed the Demon King's castle by now!"
"It's true that Kurama's power is awesome, but it takes control and discipline to wield. Both of which you currently lack, my friend."
Naruto casually replied with a shrug when he noticed something glimmering on the floor. Picking it up, it was a beautifully crafted piece of jewelry.
"This is…!"
"Ah!"
Iris stopped laughing when she noticed what Naruto was holding, and her hands immediately went to her neck.
"That was a necklace that was gifted to my real onii-sama… He gave it to me for safekeeping when he went to war. It must have fallen off while I was laughing…"
"Huh… Looks like the universe is punishing this bad little sister for making fun of her precious onii-sama."
Kazuma grumbled, but Iris simply stuck her tongue out playfully.
Cheeky little…!
"I can't believe I didn't notice it before, but that necklace is actually a magic item. I guess I just didn't notice because Kiki is always radiating magic power."
Megumin noted as she took a closer look at the necklace.
"Really? I guess I need to start training how to better sense mana… Also, you gotta start suppressing your mana signature. Otherwise we might miss things like this again. Okay, Kiki?"
Naruto smiled at the Kitsune, and she lowered her head shamefully.
"Hey, there's something written on the back."
Kazuma took the necklace and looked at the back. It was Japanese.
"It says: My things are yours, your things are mine! I'll turn into you!"
Kazuma blinked. This was the body swapping magic item, wasn't it?
"Ah. It's glowing now."
. . .
"Again!?"
Naruto tackled Kazuma to get them away from the princess, and the room was showered in a dazzling light.
A/N: Man… This bunch just can't catch a break. It's mostly their own fault, though.
Next time we're going to witness quite an event. So be warned. 0_0
Review and let me know what you thought~
Spirit out.