A/N: Andddd back early as promised considering I won't be able to make the usual weekend update. So, I see everyone is upset at Jin, rightly so, buttttt Aang was pretty desperate to get rid of these feelings, no excuses ofc! XD Anyway, we're switching back to Katara's Pov now. I'm sorry it's a short chapter, the next few chapters are a little on the shorter side compared to my usuals unfortunately, but! That doesn't mean they're anyway lacking in plot or angst, so hold onto your seatbelts! Anyway, my gratitude always for you brilliant people reading and leaving your thoughts, means so much to me.
Guest review responses:
A: *winks* wait and see hehe, chapter 17 will be a good one for you to look forward to lol. I mean, Aang asked to get rid of these feelings, she thought she could help haha. Oh my gosh you complaining about poor Yun for existing haha, well – hopefully I change your mind about him by the story's end XD Hey, I always love a good rant! Oof I don't think quick is in their dictionary, but here's hoping! XD Thank you so much, hope you had a great weekend!
Haneypots: You're just living for the chaos at the point huh? XD Ooh I might see about squeezing something in a future chapter in that case XD Well, they say children are perceptive XD Haha that's a very diplomatic approach, but yes it's hard loving someone who's destined to be with someone else. Memory wipe or not, Aang is still Aang, just a little less traumatised. Ooof I REALLY like that idea, I imply it, but now I'm wishing I delved into it more. Haha sorry man, but you gonna keep guessing on the memory trigger XD Yep, yep, keep all those at the back of your head, they'll crop up again. I apologise, but manyyy more triggers to pull XD But you're strong, you'll all make it! Hehe not quite 2 weeks, enjoy this early update! TRUTH, Gordon is an Aang replica, as you said I wish they gave him the freedom to act the way he could've, although I did like the trauma focus. Hope s2 is good!
Difficult reader: Fair enough, ngl you did give me an idea, so I thank you for that in advance! If you're ever curious, stick around and read the story to its completion, but I respect if you won't. Also, no way zutara is confirmed in the live action, the writers are clearly aiming to stick to canon in the major things.
Guest: See, they tried talking, but it got nowhere, but maybe a series of events need to fall in place to fix things XD
/
2 Weeks Later:
Katara's POV:
I stare at the heaps of admin in front of me, but nothing seems to be going in. All I can think of is Yatsu's crushed little face as he burst into tears the other day and cried:
"Mummy, does Daddy not love me anymore?"
My grip on the pen is so tight that it isn't a surprise when I hear a loud crack a moment later. I stare at the ink splodges from the leaking cartridge as the split pen digs into my hand. I sigh and drop it onto the desk, ignoring the cut on my palm that I must've sustained from the broken edge of the plastic pen cover. 'It's odd. Aang hasn't made any contact since that dinner we had a couple of weeks ago. Usually, he's the one to suggest dates and times when to see Yatsu because he knows his Avatar schedule better than I do. And we haven't ran into each other by accident at all. It's almost as if...he's avoiding me. Or Yatsu, but that's less likely.'
I breathe heavily as I stare at my phone that's lying to my right. 'I don't want to be the first one to contact him. It would feel weird, but...' Yatsu's broken expression as he cried himself to sleep makes my heart clench in pain. 'Shoot, why is he doing this?! If he has a problem with me, then he should tell me. He shouldn't just disappear from his son's life without a word or explanation.'
I clench my jaws tightly in anger. 'I was just starting to let my walls down around him and now he does something as pitiful as this?!' I think as a flare of fury runs through me. I push my chair back and grab another pen before sitting back down at my desk, thankful that I'm spending the day working at home instead of in the hospital because I know I wouldn't have been able to help anyone in my current state of mind.
I click my tongue against the roof of my mouth as I try to figure out what to do. 'Should I call him?' I think to myself reluctantly. After an age, I finally pick up my phone and dial his number, but it goes straight to voicemail. I frown and dial it again after a few minutes, but the same thing happens. 'Either he's on another call or... he's purposely declining my call. Or he changed his phone number or his phone is broken...' I groan and scroll to our last messages. 'Guess I'll try a text.' I decide with a sigh.
K: Hey, hope you're ok. Yatsu has been asking about you and really wants to see you soon. Let me know when you're able to take him out.
I send the message, but I don't receive a response until several hours later.
A: Hey, sorry. Tell Yatsu I'm sorry for not being around much. I'm away for work and won't be back for another month.
I frown at his text after I finish reading it and lean against my chair as a twinge of suspicion hits me. 'Gone for 6 weeks? That's unusual. He's never been gone longer than a month and he has always had time to nip back during the time he had to be away for.' I think to myself with a frown. I'm just about to grill him for details, but I hang back at the last possible moment.
K: Ok. Let me know when you're back. Take care.
I plop my phone back on my desk and sigh in relief that I at least have a valid excuse to tell Yatsu. Although a sense of unease continues to plague me, but I'm just about able to keep it at bay.
6 weeks later:
K: Yatsu is still asking for you.
A: Sorry, something else came up at work. I'll be another month.
This cycle repeated two more times before I finally started losing my temper one night after work. I grab my car keys from the dining table and march towards the house door.
"Katara? Where are you going?" Yun calls out when he notices me leaving.
"I'm stopping by that man's house. Yatsu has withdrawn into a shell because his father refuses to give him the time of day. Spirits, this is exactly why I didn't want him in my son's life." I rant angrily as I clench my hand around the car key. Yun frowns in concern as he moves towards me.
"Hey, hey. I thought you said he was busy at work?" My fiancé queries gently, but I shake my head hard.
"It's been over 3 months! If you're seriously telling me that he couldn't get away for one day to take his son out to the park then I don't know what to tell you." I fire back between grit teeth. Suddenly, I find myself being pulled into the man's chest as he hugs me close.
"You have every right to be mad." I hear him whisper and just like that my anger evaporates, leaving me into a pit of numbness.
"I'm s-sorry. I didn't mean to take my frustration out on you." I whisper as I hug him fiercely back.
"Don't be silly. I'm here to listen. I get the feeling something else is going on with Aang and that's why he hasn't been visiting." Yun murmurs as he pulls back slightly, but his hands remain on my elbows. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.
"What other excuse does he have not to see his son? I...unless he's mad at me for some reason." I mutter as I rack my brain over our last encounter, but I can't recall doing anything to have upset the man. Yun releases a low chuckle as he shakes his head.
"I think it's the opposite actually." The earthbender voices with a half smile. I stare at him in confusion.
"What do you mean?" I question wearily as I start to get an inking on what he's implying.
"Well, I don't want to say anything in case it isn't true, but just keep an open eye when you go to see him." Yun murmurs as he drops his arms to his sides. I furrow my eyebrows at him.
"So, you think he's at home too? If I find out he's been lying this entire time..." I mutter only to be interrupted by my fiancé.
"I'm sure he has his reasons." Yun cuts across firmly. I sigh and glance away from him.
"He better." I mumble as I shift in the direction of the house door. "I'll try to be quick, but don't stay up for me." I bid as I give him a peck on the cheek before opening the front door.
"Take care." Yun voices with a wave.
The drive to Aang and Jin's house is relatively quick considering the late hour and the absent traffic. I take note of their car positioned in the driveway before moving towards the front door and ringing the bell. After a couple of minutes of silence, I frown and start knocking on the door. When that elicits no response, I knock again loudly as my patience starts running thin.
My frown deepens when there's no response and I move towards the side of the building as I gaze up at one of the windows. I circle my finger in the air to create a small ice cube before pelting it at the window. I repeat the gesture a few more times before a shadow finally appears on the other side. A few moments later and the window opens to reveal the Airbender who's bare chested. He looks confused as he looks to either side before finally looking down at me. I scowl at him in irritation.
"So, you aren't answering doorbells now?" I jeer as the man becomes rigid at the sight of me.
"I'm busy, can't this wait for tomorrow." The Air Nomad utters stiffly and I narrow my eyes at him.
"No, it can't wait for tomorrow. You've been ghosting Yatsu for the past 3 months and I'm not leaving until you tell me why and apologize to him." I voice loudly. The man scrunches his nose up and shakes his head.
"Then you're going to be waiting a while." The Airbender calls back as he shuts the window closed before I can say another word. My jaw drops as I stare at where the man once stood. 'Did he just...shut the window on me?' I gawk at the window for the longest time before clenching my hands. 'Spirits what a jerk.' I think angrily as my fists tremble by my sides.
I move back to the front door and stubbornly take a seat on the doorstep. 'If he thinks I'll just give up like that, then he has another thing coming.' I voice silently with irritation as I cross my arms and lean my back against the door. Sitting outside in the freezing cold at night was probably not my smartest idea, but every time I almost gave in to go home, I just picture how sad Yatsu has been over the last few months and I couldn't help but stay rooted to my spot.
It's a little past 6am when my eyelids flutter to a close after my lips have been trembling for the past few hours from the cold.
"Ok, I'm running late for work. Try not to stay at home being lazy all day." I hear a female voice holler from inside of the house. I try to crack my bleary eyes open, but a moment later, I find the surface that I was leaning on disappearing and I end up falling backwards. "Katara?!" Jin echoes loudly as I flop onto the floor of her house.
"Aurgh." I groan as I become keenly aware of how cold I am.
"Shoot." I hear her curse as she drops to her knees beside me and tries to pull me up, but as soon as her fingers make contact with my skin, her hands fly backwards with a gasp. "Jeez you're freezing! Don't tell me you've been out here all night." The woman blabbers in worry as she tries to pull me up again, but my body doesn't seem able to respond.
"Hey Jin, who are you taking to..." The Air Nomad stops in his tracks as he stares at me. The glass of water in his hands slips from his fingers and shatters on the floor. "Wha...what happened?! Did you actually stay outside the whole night?!" The Airbender yells as he drops beside his partner with frantic eyes.
"You mean you knew she was here?!" Jin throws back, sounding appalled.
"She stopped by last night demanding to talk...I didn't think she'd actually stay outside in the cold all night long!" Aang rambles in a panic as he helps Jin to sit me up. My teeth are chattering together, but I force myself to speak.
"I-I told you I wouldn't leave till you explained why you were being so horrible to your own son." I retort acidly, but the bite in my words are lost from how much I'm shivering and shaking.
"Spirits. Aang take her upstairs to the bedroom and swaddle her in blankets and turn up the heater." Jin barks as she gets to her feet while the Airbender stares after her.
"Wait, where are you going?" Aang questions anxiously as the woman digs in her purse for a set of car keys.
"I told you, I'm running late for work. My boss said I'm on thin ice for my constant tardiness. You'll have to take care of her until I'm back. If she passes out from hypothermia you have to take her to the hospital immediately, ok?" Jin instructs carefully as she side steps me to exit the house.
"Jin, wait!" My ex-husband hollers, but the woman simply waves him off.
"You'll be fine. Call me if you need me." His partner reassures and she's gone before either of us can say another word. As soon as she disappears, I pull away from the Air Nomad.
"I'm f-fine. I just need to hear what excuses you have for..." I stop abruptly when my head pulsates with a headache.
"Katara?" Aang probes cautiously as he stretches out a hand towards me.
"Aurgh, this really wasn't one of my smarter ideas." I mumble as I wrap my arms around me as the chill down my spine refuses to go away. A flash of regret contorts the man's features as he moves to stand.
"Come on, let's get you inside." He whispers as he offers me his hand. I ignore it and push myself to my feet, but it proves to be more difficult than I anticipated and I find myself ready to fall back onto the ground until the Airbender hoists me up by the armpit.
"I don't need your help. I wouldn't have had to do any of this if you just gave me a straight answer." I fire back venomously as I push him away.
"Katara, I'm sorry! Please let me help you inside and then we can talk." The Air Nomad begs. I bite the inside of my cheek before finally allowing him to guide me into his house. He sits me on the nearest sofa before dashing upstairs. "I'll be back in a moment." He hollers as he disappears from view.
I roll my eyes as I dig my fingers into my arms to distract myself from the cold. 'I'm such a dumb brain. Why would I torture myself like this and stay outside all night? Sometimes a mother's love goes beyond crazy boundaries.' I think to myself in disdain just as Aang reappears with piles of blankets. He starts opening one to place over me, but I stretch out my hand and take it from him instead.
"Just pass them here. I'll do it myself." I mutter stiffly as I place the first one over my lap. The Air Nomad seems ready to protest, but catches himself at the last minute as he wordlessly passes me one blanket after another until the pile in his hand disappears, but it's no use, I'm still shivering and freezing.
"Should I get more?" The Avatar queries as he gazes down at me in concern. I wave his worries away with a hand.
"This is plenty. Take a seat and explain yourself." I order, but my eyelids start to feel so heavy that I'm not sure I'll be able to stay awake for much longer.
"Katara I'm so sorry. I...I didn't realise you were that stubborn." The Airbender mumbles as he moves to crouch in front of me. I shoot him a glare before leaning my head against the sofa.
"When it comes to my son, I don't back down on anything." I mutter sternly as my eyelids flutter to a close. I feel his hand against my forehead and before I'm able to swat him away, I hear a sharp intake of breath.
"Spirits Katara, you're still freezing. Maybe I should take you to the hospital." Aang whispers anxiously.
"I told you I'm fine. I'll warm up in a bit." I utter as I start to lose my grip on reality.
"Katara? Katara!" Aang's loud hollering snaps me back to my senses as I crack open one eye to squint up at him.
"I'm not going anywhere. I haven't slept is all." I voice with a groan, but panic is clearly written in his eyes as he grasps my hand. I frown and force myself to pat the top of his hand. "Seriously, don't worry." I insist quietly and when some of his worry lines disappear, I find myself closing my eyes again. "Just let me rest a little before we talk." I add after a moment's silence and when he doesn't protest the idea, I slip into a deep sleep.
2 hours later:
I wake up to the smell of food and when I open my eyes, I spot the man placing a plate on a nearby table. I furrow my eyebrows and rub my eyes.
"Ah sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." The Airbender apologises as he sits on the sofa opposite me.
"It's fine. How long was I asleep for?" I ask with a yawn as I try to take a glance of the clock.
"A couple of hours, so you must still be exhausted. I cooked some food if you're hungry." The Air Nomad voices as he moves to fetch the plate, but I raise a hand before he can leave his seat.
"I'll eat in a bit. Just...tell me, why have you been dodging Yatsu?" I ask quietly and the man visibly stiffens in a fashion so similar to last night. He sinks back into his sofa as he bites his lip.
"I've been really busy at work..." He starts, but I cut across him with a harsh glower.
"Don't lie to me. Heavens knows you've done enough of that in the past." The word lashing spills from my lips before I can take them back, but the memories of all the lies he told are still so raw and poignant in my mind. The Air Nomad stares at me with parted lips as he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
"Wait, I did what?" Aang echoes back numbly, but I refuse to reveal to him anymore than that. I pinch the bridge of my nose as I release a heavy exhale.
"Ignore what I said. Just tell me the truth. I know you're not at work all the time, otherwise you wouldn't be here right now. Did I scare you off by letting you taking care of him for a few days? I promise I won't do that again if it spooked you out that much, but Yatsu still needs to see you at least." I urge as my tone unwillingly takes on a pleading tone. Aang's eyes widen as he shakes his head vigorously.
"No, no! I loved taking care of him." The Airbender protests firmly and I furrow my eyebrows at him.
"Then why? Did I do something wrong?" I query and when the Air Nomad hesitates, I instantly have my answer.
"No..." His tone is laced with such uncertainty that I sag against the sofa.
"What did I do?" I mumble as I pierce my eyes into his and I watch as he shifts uncomfortably on his chair.
"No, you didn't do anything." Aang argues weakly, but the tightness around his eyes has me doubting him.
"Whatever I did, I'm sorry. But you shouldn't be taking out your frustration with me on your son. He's only a child." I utter stiffly as unease swirls in my stomach as I try to figure out what on earth I did to make him so uncomfortable that he couldn't show his face to his only son for 3 months.
"I'll swing by to talk to Yatsu today and tell him how sorry I am. I won't do it again." My ex-husband vows, but I'm not letting this go that easily.
"That's not enough, I need to know why you did that otherwise how will I know that it won't happen again?" I press, but the Airbender refuses to meet my gaze as we sit in silence for several moments.
"It's private. Just trust me that I won't do it again." Aang mumbles, but my eyes narrow in suspicion.
"Private?" I echo back in disbelief. "I'm sorry, but when you give me a lame excuse like that, it makes it impossible to trust you." I fire back as the Airbender's eyes flash with alarm.
"Please Katara can you just drop it? I said I won't do it again." Aang answers tightly as my fingers curl around the edge of the arm rest until they're digging into the fabric.
"You're making me regret ever telling you about Yatsu." I retort bitterly as I throw off the blankets and move to stand up. The Airbender jumps to his feet as frustration crosses his features.
"You're being unfair, I had every right to know that I have a son." Aang shoots back as his eyes flash briefly. I scrunch my nose up at him.
"You don't have any right if you're not behaving like a father!" I counter angrily as I move away from him, but my feet must've been colder than I realised because I find myself tripping. A hand snaps out to grab me by the elbow and tugs me back upright. When I turn to glare at the man, I find his face pinched white as he stares at me with an unreadable expression.
"That...was uncalled for." He breathes out haltingly as a rare anger is buried in his usual calm stormy orbs. I swallow, feeling at a sudden loss of words. I press my lips tightly together as I look away from him. We remain in silence for the longest while, before I finally shrug his hand off me.
"I'm going home." I mutter as I shuffle away from him. I don't manage even three steps before my vision blurs and I know that I'm suffering from a bout of my anaemia. I halt suddenly and reach out to steady myself with a hand against the wall.
"I thought you were going home." Aang mutters from behind me and my hand curls into a fist against the wall.
"You're a real jerk, you know that." I croak back as I close my eyes to still the dizziness. Suddenly, I become aware of a presence way too close me and when I crack my eyes open, I find Aang standing in front of me with a frown.
"What's wrong?" The Airbender queries as his eyebrows bunch together tightly.
"What? Unhappy I called you a jerk?" I shoot back, but it lacks my previous bite as my head swirls with pain.
"Forget that, you look like you're about to pass out." The Air Nomad counters in concern as he stretches a hand towards me, but I dodge his fingers.
"It's fine. I sometimes feel dizzy from the anaemia is all." I mutter as I massage my aching temples. Aang's face falls as he leans back slightly.
"Spirits." I hear him curse and I stare at him in surprise. "You're such a good mum and I'm here being a jerk." He mumbles as he hangs his head. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.
"What?" I echo back, unsure on how I should take his words and wondering what on earth is running through his mind.
"You sacrifice so much for Yatsu from the very start. Heck, you stayed all night outside for him. And I...I didn't even consider how much I'd hurt him by disappearing. Maybe you're right and I'm not fit to be a Dad." At his mumble, I find myself sighing quietly. 'It's funny how after all this time, I still hate seeing that downtrodden expression on his face.' I slide my hand down the wall so that I don't look as feeble and soften my features ever so slightly.
"You're fine as a Dad. You're still getting used to being one after all. I've had years of experience remember? Just...if you have a problem with me, don't let it affect your relationship with Yatsu. Bring it up with me or give me a heads up so that we can make sure that it doesn't affect our son." I explain carefully, but his eyes balk at my last words for some strange reason.
"Our...son..." Aang echoes back. I quirk an eyebrow at him.
"What?" I prompt with a frown which snaps the man out of his daze as he gives me a sheepish expression.
"I've just never heard you refer to Yatsu as that. It's always been your son or my son. This is the first time you're saying it like that." The Airbender explains with a grin and I can't help but roll my eyes at him to distract myself from the slight flutter that reverberates in my chest.
"My bad, I'll stick to saying your son then." I fire back blandly which prompts the Air Nomad to shake his hands out in front of him in a panic.
"No!" He yells, taking me by surprise as I stare at him sceptically.
"Why does it suddenly matter?" I query as I eye the Airbender carefully for any clues to what's running through his mind, but other than the obvious look of embarrassment, I can't pin anything concrete down.
"I don't know. It sounds nicer, like we're a..." He stops when my lips part as I inhale deeply.
"We're not." I interrupt, not needing to hear him finish his sentence. His face drops at my flat-out refusal.
"I mean, we're both Yatsu's parents." My ex-husband argues weakly, but I cut him down with a glare.
"That's all it is. Lumping the two of us together as a family is a false and dangerous line of thinking." I utter stiffly as his shoulders slump.
"But...!" He starts to protest, until I clench my jaws.
"No buts! We're just about in between acquaintances and distant friends. Don't try to push it any further than that." I voice firmly with stern eyes. The Airbender's eyes drop to the ground as his right hand trembles slightly at his side.
"Forget I even suggested it." My ex-husband mutters brashly and I almost regret saying it at seeing the flash of hurt on his face. I release a sigh and drop my hand from the wall.
"I should go." I mumble, but make no move to leave.
"I'll see Yatsu later this evening." The Air Nomad voices tensely and I give him a brisk nod before finally forcing my feet forward.
"Can't believe I thought I liked you." Aang's muttered words have me freezing all over as thick ice clogs my veins. I half turn around to stare at him with wide eyes as shock keeps me rooted to the ground.
"Wha...what did you say?" I croak, but he's already moving to give me his back.
"The front door is open for you to leave whenever." My ex-husband hollers over his shoulder as he completely ignores my question.
I press my lips tightly together as I stare after him for several moments. 'Like...could mean anything. He could mean as a friend, as someone he respects or admires, an acquaintance or...more than a friend.' I shake my head hard at that last thought. 'I'm being ridiculous and reading too much into things as I always do.' I reassure myself as I turn to give the man my back.
I don't reply and make my way to the front door without another sound. When I rest my hand on top of the handle of the house door, I can't help but hesitate and twist my head to gaze at the Airbender, but he's disappeared from sight. As if taunting me with his comment of me seeing myself out. My finger curl tightly around the handle in frustration. 'I can't believe I thought we could actually be friends.' I think angrily as I jerk open the door and exit the house, not caring that the door slams behind me from the strong wind outside. I shiver and rub my arms before making the trek to my car.
When I slide inside the vehicle, I don't insert the key in the ignition. I just stare hard at the steering wheel as emotions bubble through me. I promised myself I'd never cry over that man ever again, but I feel the tears falling before I see them as they stain my jeans. 'Shoot. Why did his words get to me that much?' I wonder numbly as my vision blurs with moisture. I drop my head low to stare at my lap as his words play on a loop in my mind. 'It isn't even that deep. We said way worse things to each other when we were together, but...this struck a cord I wasn't willing to acknowledge before.'
My shoulders are shaking before I can still them as more tears trek down my cheeks silently. They only slow when I notice some movement from the corner of my eyes and when I look up, I spot the Airbender exiting from his house and I curse under my breath when I realise I've been staying stationary out here for longer than I realised. I shove the key into the ignition and switch on the engine, but the Air Nomad has already spotted me. Even worse, his features are drawn up tightly when he spots me.
"Katara?" I hear him echo stiffly from my open window.
I clench my jaws and move the joystick into reverse, before returning my hands onto the steering wheel, but my arms are still so shaky from being exposed to the cold for so long.
My ex-husband is walking towards me with a sense of urgency and I start cursing under my breath, willing my pathetic arms to stop their trembling so that I can reverse out of the driveway and onto the road away from him.
"Hey wait, are you...are those tears?!" I hear him call out in worry and without another word, I steer the wheel quickly, moving the car backwards before shifting the gear into drive.
"Katara wait!" The Airbender shouts just as he reaches the car door with his arm outstretched. I slam on the accelerator and drive onto the main road after a quick survey both ways. I glance at the rearview mirror to spot the Avatar slapping his forehead before sinking to the ground. I bite the inside of my cheek hard at the sight, but push myself to keep on driving forward.
A/N: Let the angst continue! I'm having fun, can you tell? XD anyway, I hope you enjoyed. You can tell Aang is lashing out because he's unhappy with himself, so don't be too hard on him, he's kind of spiralling out of control, emotionally.
Favourite line, hmmm, we'll go with this one:
"You don't have any right if you're not behaving like a father!"
Alright next chapter update will be, well either the following weekend orrr maybe you'll be lucky and I post on Tues next week XD Till then, take care everyone!
18/9/24