A/N: I'm backkk! Sorry for the wait guys and thank you all for being patient with me. I enjoyed my week away, felt re-energised…then had my nights shifts and that energy disappeared haha. But all seriousness, was a very much needed break. I hope everyone is doing well?
Response to guest reviews:
Haneypots: Lol was about time XD Haha maybe if Aang didn't exist at all, he might've had a chance, but Aang's existence makes it very hard for Katara XD Haha she's on the outskirts, but I agree with that statement XD It ain't avatar, if there aint some danger XD Yeah honestly its really bittersweet how their relationship has gone through so much. Agreed big time! Haha thanks man, I appreciate that. A bit delayed, but here we are and only one more week till chapter 20 XD
Guest: Thank you! XD
Pain resistant: Thank you for leaving your thoughts! I think they've both not been great to each other. Aang has made his fair share of mistakes with all his lying, hiding, careless, running away attitude and Katara's response to that is anger. I think they're both justified in being frustrated, but they need to try to sort it out together. Painful Education focussed on Aang's hurt, so Painful Future is intended to focus on Katara's hurt. Oh my gosh I love the list of predictions for chapter 20! I can see you really don't like the slaps haha. I'll say this, only one of your predictions is right XD Aang confesses roughly 3 months after what happened with Jin. Unfortunately, that's humans for ya, they think irrationally and are desperate to save things even if they're broken. Hopefully I'll be able to sway some of your thoughts as the story progresses XD
A: Ooof…I'm not saying haha. Will get back to you on that once chapter 20 is out XD Nah you're fine man, I love that we went on holiday the same time haha. Hope you enjoyed your week away! Indeed XD Very true, its easy to be mad when you don't have the whole story. Ooof man look at you picking up at all the crumbs, I love it XD I'm gonna be a good writer and keep my lips sealed haha, but happy to read all your theories XD Your birthday the 25th? Guess you get a chapter update at least haha, but yes prob better that its after XD Thank you so much! Hope you feel rested after yours!
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4 Days Later:
Aang's POV:
"Hey Aang, Katara said Yatsu has an early school trip tomorrow and was hoping you could just spend some time with him here instead of taking him out?" Yun regales as he opens the door for me to enter the house. I blink at the man's words before nodding my head.
"Yeah that's fine, is Yatsu up in his room?" I ask as I enter the house and slip off my shoes.
"Yep, he was playing with some board game. I'm sure he'd love to play with you." The earthbender reveals with a smile. I return it awkwardly as I rub the back of my neck.
"Is Katara not in then?" I ask, unable to stop myself. The doctor quirks his eyebrow in amusement, but fortunately I'm spared the teasing.
"She's here. The dryer broke, so she said she'd dry the clothes with bending in the bathroom." Yun explains as he makes his way to the living room.
"Ah." I hum back in acknowledgement as I move towards the staircase.
"Tell her I say not to work too hard." Yun hollers and I cringe internally before giving the man a nod and ascend up the stairs. 'I wonder how much Yun actually knows about me and whether he's caught on that I...' I purse my lips to stop the train of thoughts that almost made its way to the forefront of my mind. 'At the very least he definitely knows that Katara and I have a history. Isn't he worried that we'll get close to each other? Not that Katara would ever fall for me again.' I think ruefully as my face twists in disappointment.
I exhale heavily and try to school my features as I open Yatsu's bedroom door to reveal the boy sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of a board and some tiles. I furrow my eyebrows and enter the room.
"Hey buddy, I've been told that we'll spend some time together here." I announce and the boy looks up at my voice with a grin.
"Daddy!" Yatsu yells as he jumps to his feet to drag me towards the board that he's been staring at. "Can we play this game?" My son requests. I glance down at the board as it looks eerily familiar to me. With a frown, I bend down to pick up a lotus tile and stare at it.
"Pai Sho?" I echo back which elicits an excited nod from the child.
"Yes! Have you played it before Daddy? My teachers said it's a very hard game, but I want to get good at it." Yatsu explains with bright eyes. Eyes so bright that they shimmer like the ocean. 'It's kind of how I imagine Katara's eyes would look like if she ever let herself to unwind and be less guarded.' I think with awe as I throw the tile up in the air before catching it.
"I can't remember, but I get the feeling that I might have. Let's give it a shot." I say with a grin as I sit down opposite the boy to have a quick skim through the instructions.
My eyebrows shoot up to my hairline when I realise just how complex the game is. I purse my lips, but say nothing. 'Yatsu is a bright boy, he probably won't struggle with this.' I reassure myself as I move to set the first tile. The boy mimics my movements and just like that our hands fly over the board in a rapid back-and-forth exchange for the next hour.
I grin as I set the final tile and Yatsu groans as he flops to the ground behind him.
"Daddy you definitely played this game before. You're too good at it." Yatsu grumbles and I give him an apologetic smile.
"Sorry buddy, I was having too much fun that I got carried away. You did very well." I try to praise, but the boy shoots me a sceptical expression.
"Daddy, you won five times." My son points out with a pout and I chuckle in embarrassment.
"Well, I'll have to teach you some of the tricks." I say with a wink and the boy immediately perks up at that.
"Yes please!" He begs with wide eyes. As I move to sit next to him, I catch a glimpse of Katara passing by the room, but her eyes never once glance our way. My heart clenches at the sight of her and I find myself following her with my eyes until she disappears from view. "Daddy?" Yatsu utters as he tugs at my sleeve. I blink, realising that I completely spaced out on the boy and shoot him an apologetic smile.
"Sorry buddy, where we again?" I ask sheepishly, but instead of returning to the game, the child gives me a cheeky grin.
"Daddy, were you watching Mummy?" He asks sweetly and I almost choke on my own saliva.
"What, no!" I deny, but if anything the boy's grin widens.
"You looked at Mummy in that way she looks at Mr Yun though." Yatsu points out innocently and I immediately go cold all over.
"Yatsu, it's nothing really." I mumble as I put down the tile in my hands. The boy's shoulders slump in disappointment.
"Oh." The child mutters as he sits back down and stares at the board. I bite the inside of my cheek when I realise I've upset the boy and opt to give him a side hug. Somehow, it's enough to make him forget his prior question as he nuzzles into my side. "I wish you lived with us Daddy. I don't see you enough." My son whispers quietly and my heart moves at the amount of love in his voice towards me. I swallow and hold him closer to me.
"I'm sorry buddy, work takes up a lot of my time. I'll try to see you more." I vow as I ruffle his hair.
"I want you to live here so I can see you every day." Yatsu mumbles and my heart twists at not being able to give him what he's asking for.
"I...can't do that Yatsu. This house is only for you, your mother, Yun and his daughter. Besides, I live with..." I trail off when I hear the boy sigh.
"I know Daddy." He whispers as his eyes flutter to a close. I gaze at him sadly before shifting to lift him up carefully.
"I think it's time for bed." I murmur softly as I carry him to his mattress before lying him down gently.
"Goodnight Daddy." He mumbles as tiredness washes over him.
"Goodnight Yatsu." I whisper back as I reach down to kiss his head.
"Love you." He voices with a yawn before finally falling asleep. I gaze at him softly as I pull the duvet over him.
"Love you too." I whisper as I tip toe out of the room.
I'm just about to go back downstairs when I hear the sound of water coming from my right. With a mind of its own, my feet starts moving towards the sound until I find myself standing in front of the bathroom where Katara has hung up several items of clothing and is bending the water out from each one. I watch the way her hands move to the side in one fluid movement to pull out the water from the clothes before she wipes her forehead with the back of her wrist. I'm so busy watching her that I don't realise she's spotted my presence.
"It's rude to stare." Katara reprimands lightly and I find myself flushing as I raise a hand to rub the back of my head.
"Ah yes, sorry." I apologise with a quick bow of my head before raising my head to meet her oceanic orbs. "Do you need any help?" The question drops from my mouth before I can stop myself. She quirks an eyebrow in surprise.
"I've got it, thanks." The waterbender mumbles as she turns away from me to hang up another set of clothes. Before I can stop myself, my arms move out to bend the water out of a shirt and into the sink. Her movements halt as she exhales deeply before turning back to face me.
"You can't bend anything but air here. Anyone could catch you." Katara warns as her eyes glance behind me worriedly. My lips curl upwards.
"You really know a lot about the Avatar." I note as I drop my voice towards the end. I watch as she gives me a one shouldered shrug before bending more water out of a pair of trousers.
"You thought I didn't?" She returns back offhandedly and I cringe at my poor attempt at a conversation.
I sigh and raise a hand to send a small blast of air towards the clothes she has already bended the water out of, drying them further. Katara's blue orbs glance over towards me when I don't reply and with pursed lips she moves to take down the clothes on the line before adding another set of wet laundry. We work wordlessly for the next couple of minutes before I open my mouth.
"What were you like back then?" I ask randomly. My question takes the woman by surprise as she blinks twice at me.
"That's an odd question." She replies, dodging my question completely. I furrow my eyebrows and tilt my head.
"Is it? We all change with time. I'm sure I wasn't the same person that you met at uni." I point out and the waterbender hums back reluctantly.
"I guess. I wasn't anything special. Just an optimistic, empathetic budding med student that was a little too curious for her own good." Katara replies ruefully and I get the itching feeling that her words are an indirect referral to me. I purse my lips and bend another blast of air at the damp laundry.
"What was I like at uni?" I ask instead and her fingers freeze mid-air while attempting to take down the clothes. I blink at her absurd reaction and push myself off the wall that I had been leaning against. "Katara?" I prompt when she's silent for longer than necessary. I watch as she forces a smile to her face before quickly taking down the clothes.
"An awkward kid with a warm smile I guess." The doctor mutters, but she keeps her face hidden from my view. I eye her sceptically, knowing that there's more than she's letting on.
"You know, you can't keep hiding my past from me forever." I grumble, but if anything that makes the situation worse as the waterbender tenses up completely.
"If this is your way in trying to get me to talk, then you're very mistaken." Katara utters tightly back as she takes down the last of the clothes and puts them all in a large bucket. I cluck my tongue against the roof of my mouth in exasperation.
"It feels unfair that you know more about me than I do." I point out, trying to sound patient, but it just makes her clam up more.
"It's not my fault you lost your memories." She retorts acidly back. I scrunch my nose up at her wording.
"What, are you saying it's my fault that I lost my memories?" I jeer back, but when she doesn't deny it straight away, my eyes widen. "Wait, it was my fault?!" I echo back in disbelief. She averts her eyes and moves to grab the handles of the bucket, as if ready to walk past me, but I move to block her way. "I thought you said you didn't know how I lost my memories." I whisper, my voice coming out strained. Katara's jaw throbs as she clenches her teeth together.
"I recently came across someone who you apparently told before you lost your memories." The doctor replies bitterly, but my eyes are still wide in confusion.
"Who?" I breathe out, but she shakes her head.
"Doesn't matter now." The waterbender evades and I find my hands clenching at the constant dodging.
"So, you know how I lost my memories?! How?!" I demand as I reach forward to grip her shoulders as desperation crawls inside me. 'I've been trying to search for the answer to that question for so long and now I'm just inches away from someone who actually knows.' I think with swirling anticipation, but instead of replying, the waterbender remains frustratingly silent. "Katara, this is one thing you can't hide from me." I grit out. Her face twists slightly before she drops her head to the ground.
"You chose to lose your memories in exchange to restore someone else's memories. Some spirit helped you do that apparently." The woman explains quietly and my hands automatically release their hold on the waterbender.
"I...chose to lose my memories?" I echo back as I try to wrap my head around the concept. 'I'm a selfless person by nature, but...I really must've loved that person to be willing to lose my entire identity.' I run a hand over my bald scalp in shock.
"Too bad you didn't have the courtesy to tell me that back then." Katara's words has me crashing back down to reality.
"You obviously would've stopped me." I reason, but it must've been the wrong thing to say as her grip tightens along the bucket's handles.
"Gee, nice to know you would've made the exact same decision." She grits out as she tries to push past me, but she underestimated how much taller I am as I stand in the doorway.
"I'm just saying that it's not fair of you to be mad at me about it." I argue, but her eyes flash red.
"Who said I'm angry about it?!" She retorts irritably and I can tell she's absolutely livid. I gulp.
"You've been acting off with me for the past couple of visits. It's obvious you're mad at me for it." I explain as her face screws up with an emotion I can't quite place.
"Are you saying that I shouldn't be? You never told me that you were going lose your memories, I was your wife back then. Even when we...spent the night together, you never t-told me. You had the decency to share such a vulnerable moment with me only to up and forget me the next day! And then I fell pregnant a-and..." Her voice cracks as she trails off and it's only then do I notice her arms are trembling as she holds the heavy bucket. 'Oh jeez, what am I doing?' I think in horror as I move forward to take the bucket of clothes from her. "It's fine, I can carry them." She protests, but I carry the bucket and settle it on the floor behind me before moving to wrap the woman in a tight hug. I hear her sharp intake of breath, but I choose not to budge.
"I'm sorry. That was incredibly selfish of me." I whisper guiltily as I feel her try to push me away, but as soon as she hears my words, a small whine escapes her lips.
"You can't even remember anything." Her breathing catches as she speaks and I go still at hearing them. 'Oh spirits, she's still torn up that I lost my memories. This is exactly like when I saw her unravelling that first day after I lost my memories at the hotel.' I think anxiously as I continue to hug her. After an age, she finally pushes me back as she rubs at her moist eyes. "Sorry, I shouldn't take that out on you. You don't even remember it." Katara mutters while avoiding my eyes. I reach forward to take her hand.
"That might be so, but it doesn't change it was still me that did that to you. I...I don't know what was running through my head when I did that." I voice with sad earnestness. Her blue orbs flicker to my face before a quiet sigh escapes her delicate lips.
"Forget it. It's not like we can change it." The waterbender states emotionlessly. "Anyway, you should probably get going." Katara mumbles without meeting my eye. I don't know what possess me to say my next words, but emotions have always got in my way at the worst of times.
"I think Jin and I are going separate ways." I announce and the clap of silence that follows is almost deafening. Katara immediately steps away from me, but in her haste to create some distance between us, she doesn't notice the towel on the floor behind her. "Hey wait!" I call out as I try to reach her as she starts slipping backwards.
My hands reach for the first thing I can grab, her chain and the sleeve of her blouse. I manage to stop her from falling, but the chain that her locket was on ends up breaking and falling to the floor with a light clunk. Instead of saying thank you, the waterbender's eyes widen in a panic as she drops to her knees to pick up the broken chain and the opened locket. I freeze when I spot a small photo of the two of us. Beside it, is a photo of a woman, similar to the picture I saw a few days ago, so I can easily assume it's her Mum.
"Shoot, shoot, shoot." Katara curses as she stares at the broken jewellery.
"I..." I start, already expecting the tongue lashing I'll receive, but I'm surprised when the woman doesn't jump up and yell at me. Instead, she simply stays on the floor staring blankly at the items in her hands before enclosing them tightly in her fist. I swallow and crouch down in front of her. "Let me have a look." I murmur gently, but she shakes her head stubbornly.
"It's fine, it was getting old anyway." Katara replies neutrally, but her eyes are screaming with pain.
"I own jewellery shops, remember? I can get it fixed." I remind softly, but again she shakes her head in refusal.
"I should've stopped wearing it a long time ago anyhow. I guess it being broken is a good excuse as any." The waterbender insists nonchalantly. I chew my lip as the woman rises to her feet and pockets the jewellery.
"But it looks important to you." I argue as I get to my feet as well. Katara gives me a good long look before replying.
"It was, but I'm moving on now." The waterbender replies and something about the way she said those words has me going cold.
"Did...did I give that to you?" I echo back numbly. Her eyes widen a fraction before she quickly busies herself with drying some of the spilt water.
"You did. I thought it would be a waste to get rid of it, but there really isn't any point in wearing it now that Yun and I will be getting married soon. Breaking it is the best thing you could've done for it to be honest." Katara states a matter-of-factly and it just seems like the world has crashed around me. I stumble backwards as my chest tightens to an uncomfortable and painful degree. 'Shoot. I don't know what hurts more. The fact she's ready to move on from me or the fact that she's marrying another man.' I gasp at the thought.
"Katara..." I wheeze out, as she exits the bathroom.
"Go home and be with Jin or whoever else that will make you happy that isn't me." The waterbender mutters as she picks up the bucket of laundry.
I press my lips tightly together so that she wouldn't see them trembling because boy did that sting. 'I didn't think being heartbroken could hurt this much. Every other relationship that I've had ended in mutual agreement. This is very different and we're not even in a relationship for me to act like this.' I close my eyes briefly before re-opening.
"Is this because I told you that Jin and I had..." I trail off when I see her give the barest of flinches.
"What you do with other people has nothing to do with me. I have an early shift tomorrow and need to get some rest. I'm sure you have enough work to do yourself." Katara voices statically, but I'm not fool. 'I know when something bothers someone and I especially know when something is bothering her.' I clench my jaws as I watch her move past me.
"Why do you keep lying to yourself?" The bitterness leaks into my voice as she pauses. Her back is turned towards me so I can't see her expression, but I spot the way her shoulders are bunched tightly together.
"What in spirits name am I lying about?" Her retort is brisk and offended, but I notice the slight waver in her tone.
"I think...you still love me. You wouldn't have kept wearing the jewellery I bought you otherwise and you wouldn't have a picture of us together in it." I mutter. The bucket of clothes slides out from her hand and lands with a heavy thump on the carpet, but the woman still refuses to turn around.
"I think you're so desperate for me to reciprocate your feelings that you're trying to come up with ridiculous assumptions." The waterbender voices stiffly. I narrow my eyes at her.
"I know the difference between facts and emotions Katara. You still can't bring yourself to say my name unless it slips out in anger. I thought it was because you hate me, but maybe it's because you don't want to get attached again." I comment harshly as the woman's hands bundle into fists.
"I'm not having this conversation with someone who can't even remember the majority of his own life." Katara throws back and the jibe hits me hard. I find myself moving in front of the waterbender as I clench my hands.
"Give me a reason for keeping my photos and locket for that long and I'll drop it." I press, choosing to ignore her previous comment. I hear her scowl as she whips her head to face me with blazing eyes.
"That's like asking me why I kept Yatsu!" She yells and a shiver runs down my spine.
"You..." I swallow hard as I stare at her. "You considered not having him?" I echo back as I feel my entire body becoming like lead. She clicks her tongue.
"We're not having this conversation." She utters tightly as she starts to move away, but I leap forward to grasp her wrist.
"You didn't want him?" I repeat as I become appalled at the notion. I can feel her trying to rip her hand out of mine and subconsciously I tighten my hold around her wrist. "Shoot Katara, if that's true that's an incredibly selfish thing to..." I start rebuking, only for her to shove me in the chest.
"You weren't there! I had no one to help me, my career was in tatters and I didn't know the first thing about looking after a baby. The only person who could've taught me how to be a mum was dead! You have no right to judge me." She yells. I bite back my anger and stare at her in disappointment.
"If you knew anything about Air Nomads culture, you'd know that's completely against our culture." I mutter, but when I see tears spilling over her cheek, I instantly regret my words. "Shoot that was..." I trail off.
"Don't you think I knew that? I didn't because I knew you wouldn't have approved and because..." Katara chokes and my grip on her immediately loosens as my heart twists in heavy shame at seeing her so upset. "... because I always wanted to have a piece of you with me." Her whisper is so quiet that I wonder if I misheard her.
My hand slackens and I drop it to my side. I cringe when I spot a red ring around the skin of her wrist and I realise I must've been holding her much more tightly than I realised as guilt slams into me. I take a step away from her. Then another. Before bolting down the stairs.
I whiz past Yun who's giving me a grave look and I become sickeningly aware that he must've heard everything. Why on spirits name did he not step in is beyond me, but I don't dwell on it as I reach for the door handle and shove the door open before running through and entering the outside world.
I run so hard and fast in the hopes that all my guilt and shame will just disappear, but all I can see in my mind's eye is Katara crying and the dark red ring that I imprinted on her. 'I hurt her. How can I say I love her, when I hurt her?' I think to myself as I screw my eyes tightly closed, which in hindsight is a terrible idea when you're running because I trip up and tumble to the ground. 'Shoot, she really is better off without me.' I think as my throat closes up with emotion. 'Spirits if this is what our arguments looked like before I lost my memories then no wonder why she wants to keep away from me. I can't believe I was delusional enough to think that she actually still had feelings for me. No one would have feelings for a monster like me.'
Meanwhile:
Sokka's POV:
"I'm telling you Suki, this..." I pause when I hear my phone ring. With an apologetic smile I excuse myself and fish out my phone as I enter another room.
"Yun? What's going on?" I query with a frown.
"Your sister and Aang kind of had a big blow up. I really think we need to step in and smooth things over between them." Yun reveals and I blink twice in curiosity.
"What did you have in mind?" I ask as I grab a notebook and pen to write down his suggestions.
A/N: Yep, I went through uncharted waters XD I honestly don't believe for a single moment that Katara would've actually gone through with an abortion, it goes against everything she stands for as a person, but when you're lost, alone and scared, sometimes a person's mind might wonder to dark territories and when you're angry, those dark thoughts can slip out and I thought it would be an interesting thing to play with briefly.
For those who remember, the Pai Sho game was a call back to Painful Education when Aang played the game with his dad before he died…thought it would be bittersweet that Aang ends up playing the same game with his own son XD
So, I've got an update for you guys – I've officially finished writing the final chapter for this fic, it wraps up at chapter 34 (that is if I decide to split up another chapter or not, if I don't split it, it will end at chapter 33, but it will likely be 34 chapters). I've actually started writing the first chapter of my new fic, more on that later, but I'm still kinda caught between two new fic ideas, I might find out which fic idea you guys prefer more and take it from there, but will leave that till later.
I can already guess what line you guys will pick (or at least I think I can guess haha). This was my favourite one to write tho:
"I'm not having this conversation with someone who can't even remember the majority of his own life."
Now, the next chapter is finally the chapter I've been waiting impatiently for you guys to see. Chapter 20. (And 21 too XD). Those are the climax chapters so to speak and then after that I work on wrapping up the story slow-mo style – still with some angst as it's me hehe. I'm working the weekends, hence the update being today, so next update will be the following weekend. Take care until then everyone!
24/10/24