Author's Note

I dont even know where this came from. Don't take it too seriously, its more of a crack fic than anything else. Although that is how Goblin Slayer and his Vampire also started, sooo...

Enjoy the horny I guess.

Uploaded

12/26/2024

LEGEND BELOW

"Experiment Incubus is operating at normal levels." = Normal speech.

''Never was one to take it lying down...'' = Normal thoughts

Chapter 1

Rated-M

M rating for blood, and language, and violence, and romance, and adult themes.

Music of the day

Resident Evil 7 - Saferoom

Life hadn't been easy, it never had been.

Not now, not back then, and never in between.

It hadn't been easy trying to reintegrate into human society as an outsider, someone who didn't belong.

An experiment gone wrong.

A creature that had escaped before everything fell apart.

A monster.

The last one was honestly the least likely to be attached to his name, but he couldn't help but feel that way about himself, the jet black tail poking out from above his ass a stark reminder of his origins.

Eight years…

It had been eight years since the downfall of the Umbrella Corporation…

Eight years since he'd been freed from that accursed holding tank he'd been forced to call his home, floating endlessly within that viscous clear liquid until one of his many handlers called upon the use of his body once again…

He couldn't remember much of his life back then, years passing on endlessly like a blur, his life outside that tank nonexistent at best, and numbing at worst.

He was an experiment. A creature created and born in that lab for one of their many backup plans in the off chance one of their more volatile creations were to destroy the whole of humanity, a creature who's whole purpose was to rebuild the population if the world was brought to its knees.

He was a creation of lust given a body, but had never been given the chance to use it. His body made for breeding, and nothing else. They thought nothing of him before or after his creation, and all he knew was that tank.

He'd been able to glean many things over the years as he grew up within that tank, the scientists and their colleagues seemed to care little about what they shared with one of their many experiments seeing as they had no inclination to ever allow him to see the light of day.

It was the only interaction he had ever been capable of, communicating with the people in white lab coats.

If it wasn't that, then it was the milking machine he'd been tied to for the sole purpose of keeping his urges in check and his reproductive organs functioning at maximum efficiency, forcing his body to work harder and harder to keep up with the demands placed upon it. What they used his seed for, he did not know.

He was a breeding device made for one thing, and one thing alone. Although he appeared human for the most part, he most certainly was not. The staff would often describe his appearance as a Caucasian male of approximately five feet and seven inches in height, lean and muscular build with short wild cropped brown hair. But that is where his more human features seemed to end, and where the others started.

Protruding from just above his posterior was a long slender black tail that ended in a spade tip, one that was extremely sensitive to touch. It was long enough to wrap around his waistline nearly twice.

His teeth were long and pointed, sharpened to a point, ears doing just the same. His eyes seemed to glow golden within the darkness of his tank, irises slitted like that of a wild cat. It was what hung in between his legs that really stood out, the girth of his cock only outshined by the length. His balls were massive orbs the size of large ripe oranges, constantly churning and creating more and more of his virile essence.

It was easier that they not explain it to him, some of them had said. But he'd been able to glean one thing from them.

His name…

Or rather, his experiment identification sign. Experiment Incubus. That's what he was, or what the litany of scientists would refer to him as. They all had names, each and every one of them had a unique name that they were allowed to cling to.

But he did not. He was property, a tool they'd made for something he wasn't allowed the knowledge of, and nothing more. Some of the staff members even called him their pet…

And for as long as he could remember, that was his entire life. He'd never given up hope of seeing the world outside that tank, for he'd never even imagined it to be possible in the first place.

Then it all changed one day.

Something had broken containment, turning all the scientists into those undead creatures, shambling the suddenly empty halls of the facility for days on end. And he'd been left alone in the chaos, lost and forgotten in a room, likely to never see the light of day.

Yes, he could remember it so clearly now. Eight long years since that man in a police uniform came to his rescue with nothing but a handful of guns to his name…

Leon…

That was his name. He said he was a police officer, his first day on the job. He'd been vaguely aware of what a police officer was at the time, but nonetheless was surprised when the man helped him escape his tank. And for the first time in his entire life…

He walked.

Instinctively he knew how to do so, but finally being able to do it mind boggling to finally experience. He didn't stick around much longer after that, Leon helping him escape the underground facility to the freedom of the world up above. Apparently these zombies weren't interested in him, only other humans.

He left that day and never looked back, his origins being buried forever underneath a ruined city vaporized by the military not a few short hours after. And suddenly like that, he was free.

Using his limited knowledge of human life he'd tried to make a new life for himself, but it hadn't been easy.

He wasn't sure how he'd been able to survive these last eight years outside of that tank, every day was a struggle. Even though he'd escaped the fate of being a breeding machine, his body certainly didn't believe it to be the case. If he didn't manage his urges and relieve himself he couldn't go more than a few days without the ache becoming too much to handle that it became crippling.

He'd tried finding a girlfriend more than once but, none of them could keep up or worse, would turn him away when they finally saw underneath his pants.

He wasn't sure how he'd managed to come this far in life, hell keeping any job was basically impossible for anything more than a few months at a time. If it weren't for Leon offering him a place to stay, he'd surely be homeless.

But…

That said, living alongside a man who'd gone on to become a secret agent to a mysterious organization did give him some advantages.

One of them being his in into the more supernatural world hidden away from humanity for their own sake.

It was how he found himself looking at a new job offering tossed his way by the rugged secret agent that new police officer had eventually become.

And once he decided to look into it, he couldn't look away…

"Y-You're serious about this?" He found himself muttering from that place on his bed, resting comfortably if nervously underneath the blankets as he eyed the man standing in the doorway questioningly. It was winter outside and although he wasn't fond of summer, he most certainly disliked the winter even more.

It made everything ache uncomfortably, more than it already did…

"Yes I am. You've got to get out there." The other man muttered simply, yanking off his leather jacket before hooking it up onto the stand beside the doorway. The black shirt he wore underneath did little to hide his rippling physique, something he seemed to share with the Incubus. However, the Incubus wasn't also strapped to the teeth with guns.

Leon sighed, flicking the loose bangs out of his face as he turned to address his roommate currently cuddled up on his couch. His tough expression softened when taking in the young man who'd gathered up every blanket available to him, eyes glued to the tv in front of him.

He'd been the one to rescue him from that damnable foundation all those years ago, and he'd found himself rather attached to the guy since. He'd lost so many during the breakout, unable to save anyone from the outbreak of undead.

Well…

Save for him. It was unfortunate that he knew that the guy wasn't going to be able to survive on his own without some assistance, so after the chaos subsided he had made sure to take in the young Incubus. At least until he was sure he could stand on his own two feet.

He didn't think it would take so many years to even come close to being able to live on his own. More than that, he found himself actually appreciating the company more often than not.

Ethan…

That was the name he'd chosen for himself some time after being freed from captivity. He'd taken his own last name as well as a sort of homage to the one who'd saved him and as a reminder of where he'd come from. He didn't have any issues with it. It didn't help that the two of them looked sort of similar within a certain light, so some people genuinely confused them for brothers.

"Leon, the last time I did what you suggested I found myself in the middle of the woods with freaking zombie people! Mia nearly died, and she definitely didn't want anything to do with me after what happened there…" Ethan murmured despondently, voice muffled by the pillows in front of him. "I liked Mia…" He mumbled like a cat that been kicked.

The secret agent cringed at the reminder. "Look, that was a mistake, a fluke. You weren't supposed to end up in that backwoods hillside in Louisiana. You were supposed to go to Hawaii…" He huffed with a tired sound, slipping out of his fingerless gloves as he tossed them into a basket by the door.

"That's nowhere near Louisiana!" Ethan practically hissed, long slender tail unfurling from beneath the blankets to point in accusation at the man. It wasn't helping the cat allegations. "I-I don't know how human transportation hubs work! You know airports scare me…" He huffed quietly, shrinking back underneath his mountain of blankets.

"Yeah I know. I set up the wrong plane." Leon admitted with a sigh, before glaring down at him. "But you should've noticed that it's not the right place before you got onto the damn plane." He muttered pointedly.

"I hate reading…" The Incubus mumbled, averting his eyes. "It hurts my eyes."

Leon's eyes twitched violently.

"Fine…" The agent blew out a sigh, relenting as he moved to take a seat in a chair beside the guy. "But yes, I'm serious. There's a place out of town that's in need of a live in maid to take care of the place. Barely any reading, no retail nonsense, no driving, none of that crap. It's far away from anywhere near civilization in the mountains of Eastern Europe." He went on to explain with a tired huff.

God he was tired…

"Why would this place work for me…?" Ethan didn't want to immediately turn him down. He certainly wanted something that would work out, but with his condition and needs, he was going to be more of a burden to anyone who would take him on then he would be of help. "What makes it different? All of the other humans think I'm weird, this place won't be any different…" He muttered bitterly in a quiet voice, slitted eyes narrowed down at the tv in front of him.

Leon chuckled knowingly. "Well, from what I've been told there's a vampire out there that has a castle she's in desperate need of managing. Apparently it's too difficult to look after by herself, even with her daughters." He muttered. "And with how well you keep this place cleaned, I thought you'd be the perfect fit."

Ethan's eyes widened as his ears perked up, pulled from his funk at the mention of something other than more humans. "Vampire?" He echoed curiously, glancing over to the secret agent with a newfound sense of rapt attention. He seemed to miss the point of being a live in maid almost entirely, more focused on the vampire in the situation.

Leon smirked, before frowning. "That's right. However, vampires can be known to be a little… feisty." He trailed off, shaking his head as if it couldn't be helped.

"What do you mean?" Ethan quipped, eyeing the man with wide eyes. Now he was interested! "Come on! Tell me what you know!" He whined, blankets forgotten as he lay on his stomach, feet kicking up curiously, head resting in his hands.

Leon had to hide his smirk. ''Like putty my hands…'' He thought victoriously. "Well, from what I know they apparently need to take the essence of men to survive. Mostly blood and stuff I think. I've never had to fight one so-" He broke into a jaw popping yawn halfway through. "-so I can't really tell you what they're like. But I'm sure you'll get along better with someone who's not human…" He trailed off, arms crossed.

"Ah, but it's so far away. And it's in the cold most of the year, so you probably wouldn't want to go. Yeah, just forget what I said. I'm going to bed." He tossed out the words, slipping off the couch as he made his way deeper into the house.

Ethan watched the man go quietly, mind replaying over what he'd said. In the mountains with endless winter? That sounded absolutely awful, but…

This could also be exactly what he was looking for, what he'd been waiting for. It probably wouldn't hurt to try it out, even though the trip would be long even one way.

But…?

Would it be worth it to try? To put himself out there again only for the potential to be disappointed, embarrassed and upset…

That was what he didn't know.

"Mmhn… My head hurts…" He groaned quietly, rolling over to his side. Maybe if he got some sleep he could decide tomorrow. Or at the very least look into it just a bit.

As he lay on his side, legs splayed out to give the large items between his legs the much necessary breathing room they required, he found his eyes drawn to his laptop. Leon had emailed him a link for the job posting, on a secure and secretive website only accessible by those underneath the US President or those directly working for him.

Bla bla bla, secret agent stuff, he wasn't really interested. He'd been unfortunate enough to have been dragged into a handful of terrible situations what with his association with Leon, every time against his will might he add…

Like chasing down the President's missing daughter to the far reaches of Spain to fight off creepy mind controlled reanimated people with hatchets and chainsaws. He didn't even know what the hell chainsaws were before then, and he certainly hated them more afterwards. Especially when crazy people were trying to shove them into him.

He could forever do without anyone attempting that again…

All of this had happened after he helped Leon escape Raccoon City and the apparent Zombie apocalypse that had just so happened to result in his release from that dark cold tank. Afterwards the two of them had moved in together somehow in Los Angeles…

Wherever that was. Apparently it was in California too!

But he didn't know where that was either…

Well…

He knew where it was now, but he had no inclination to the outside world before he'd escaped. Apparently going outside without these things called clothes was considered a bad thing…

Oops?

How was he supposed to know that's not the social norm? He had been raised inside a tank for his whole life.

Also reading English…

Yeah, if he'd known how to do that he wouldn't have ended up in Louisiana in the den of crazy zombie people. Leon had drilled the stuff into him shortly thereafter. Still though, he still hated having to focus on those tiny words that humans insisted on making ridiculously small. It hurt his eyes to try to do so for too long, so he tended to not read as much as possible.

He was getting off topic.

A vampire needed a live in maid to look after her castle in the mountains far from civilization, away from prying eyes and the judgement of normal people. It might be just what he needed, some place far away where he wouldn't get hooked up into even more trouble with Leon.

He liked the man, he really, really did…

But he was pretty sure he was going to die if he lived with him even one more year, the guy was just a magnet for trouble. That and he hated feeling like a burden on the guy. Especially with how often he brought home women for a one night stand. A one night stand because they would admit to being unable to keep up with him and break it off the morning after, not because they didn't like him.

Or at least that's what they'd told him…

Leon told him not to take it personally, but it was considerably difficult to ignore the letdown every time.

His golden eyes narrowed curiously at the screen before his eyes, a blurry picture of a castle supplied with a name and number. "Lady Dimitrescu…, huh?" He murmured underneath his breath, tasting her name on his tongue. There weren't any images of the lady of the castle in question offered, so he could only imagine the face to put to the name.

But…

He smiled as he put the laptop away, eyes burning from too much screen time as he snuggled up onto the couch.

Yeah…

Maybe he would give this a shot.

Tomorrow, though.

Tonight he was going to sleep…

Chapter

1

End