ten neon tetras:

as soon as Saana's eyes landed on the fish, Miranda knew they were coming home with them. she poked her best friend with her elbow saying, "you're a sick man, do you know that?"

"look at her face though," Ben remarked.

she turned away from him. "i know what she looks like."

putting his chin on her shoulder, he said: "listen, it's one of the only things that she asked me for this christmas."

"i know but—"

"and you said no animals that had to be walked, nothing that made noise and nothing that smelled. so... fish." his breath hit her skin and she shuddered. "i'll keep them at my house if it makes you feel better."

"noooo," Sanaa whined, grabbing her mother's arm with her uninjured hand. "please, mommy."

"yeah, mommy, please," Ben echoed, chuckling.

Miranda rolled her eyes upward. not only was her daughter brilliant in school, she was a perfect gem and responsible as hell. there wasn't anything she could she say to deny the girl what she wanted. "fine," she said looking at Sanaa who squealed and scurried off to the register. "you spoil her too much, you know."

he nodded. "i'm working on it."

she could feel his cheeks rise with another smile—he really did love her child. "but you're getting the tank and the first order of the food," she told her friend, turning her head.

their faces were so close, his subtly obnoxious, hers feigning annoyance. their lips were just whispers apart and she thought: this is it... again.

there'd been a time, years on years ago, months after Tucker had passed when they'd shared a kiss so long and hot that it had made her unsure of what was to happen next. his hands had been making their way to her ass when a very young Sanaa had walked into the room, looking for her and sobering them the hell up. they'd only discussed it afterward minimally, noting that it was all too soon, a mistake, perhaps, but the memory always made the hairs on her body rise.

back in reality, for a long time, neither of them moved and for the splittest of seconds, Miranda thought he might kiss her and her stomach churned—not because she didn't want him to or because she had a boyfriend, but because she wouldn't have been able to stop him or herself.

her phone vibrated in her pocket and the moment was broken. shaking her head, she took a step forward, answering it. "h-hey," she said.

"hey, babe, you're not home?"

"uh, n-no, i'm with Ben. and... and Sanaa, she's getting some pet fish." she heard him laugh and did the same.

"that's random. what kind?"

"uh, ten neon tetras."

"were they out of goldfish?" Miranda heard herself laugh again, but her eyes went to Sanaa who was standing next to Ben as he signed for the delivery.

the teen hugged him. "thanks, Benny!" she said loudly.

"merry christmas, Squish," he responded and Miranda's free hand went to her chest. they were really so lucky to have him.

"hello? Miranda? you there?"

"uh, sorry, i'm here."

"are you gonna be home soon?"

"well, we're gonna go get some food and then a movie and then we'll be there."

"damn. i couldn't get an invite?" he asked with another laugh and Miranda wasn't sure if it was a cover for a genuine question or if he was just kidding. asking Eli to come with them had never crossed her mind. she opened her mouth prepared to at least lie and say that she figured he'd be busy, but he said: "good thing i'm already in bed."

she laughed, full of relief. "and that's why you got no invite," she replied quickly. "but i'll come by your place when we're finished and make it up to you."

"that's all i wanted."

there was a spark in her chest and she gave an honest smile. "see you later, babe."

"later, babe."