eight unanswered texts:

Eli had texted her four times. but nothing in her heart compelled her to respond. so in the messaging app they sat, staring at her, unopened.

after a couple of days, she remembered them and hurried to message him back.

she was okay. how was he?
Sanaa was good, too. thanks for asking.
of course they could talk later.
she was at home now. just call.

after the last one, Miranda had buried her head in her pillows, romantically exhausted.

Eli wasn't the one.

from their first non-medical conversation, all that was evident was the fact they were physically attracted to one another. he was hot. she'd been horny. and they had this thing. though several months into their relationship, that just wasn't enough—for her or for her child. she even wanted better for him.

but Miranda didn't know how to say that. instead, she spent the next few weeks distancing herself from him by staying later at work, making plans with her friends and then actually doing those things or driving Sanaa to her paternal grandparents' home two towns over. hell, sometimes, she just slept. that was always a good excuse as a surgeon.

so one night, when she saw that it was Eli knocking on the door, shocked, she found herself not wanting to answer. mostly because avoiding him felt like her best option but also because Ben was coming over to watch their favorite guilty pleasure christmas movies and she didn't want whatever was about to happen to interfere with that. but open it she did.

"h-hey, stranger," she said giving him a hug that he returned, seemingly, out of habit. she didn't invite him to come in any further so they stood by the door.

"hey, babe," Eli replied. her face twisted reactionarily. and while she'd fixed it quickly, he'd seen it, adding: "yeah, that's kinda what i thought."

"what do you mean?"

"you haven't answered any of my texts, Miranda," he said, taking out his device.

from her bra, she did the same. "what?" she asked tapping around to find their thread. "you never answered my messages." she stared at her bright screen and her face fell a little. her replies to his were still sitting as a draft right below another four he'd sent a day ago that she'd also ignored.

"i forgot about those last ones. so, it's actually eight unanswered texts." he scoffed.

"i'm sorry." he smiled and for a second, she thought they could go back to normal. Miranda sighed and turned to show him her phone. "i just forgot to press 'send'," she chuckled before stopping. she'd typed up those messages and hadn't even read the last ones that he'd sent which were full of question marks. for a split second, she thought about telling him that he could have called, but he knew that. and she knew that. it was a two-way street of apathy. "it's been that kind of week."

"that kinda week, huh? have you spoken to Warren?" he asked her, his voice stony but subdued. unable to formulate an answer, she sighed again while he continued: "of course you have."

"that's not... he's my best friend," she said.

"and i'm supposed to be your man."

her throat tingled at that. "i know. i just had a lot going on at the hospital and at home, but... come in, let's talk," she said trying to make a case for their relationship, for what, she had no idea.

Eli shook his head. "i can't. i'm on my way to the hospital. which you'd know if we'd talked." the strain in his voice made her bite her lower lip. he cleared his throat. "look, i'm not jealous of you and Warren. i'm just wondering how you made time for him and not for me."

"he... picked Sanaa up from practice and brought me food yesterday while i was on call. he really gave me no choice." usually she would have laughed, but how true was that? that Ben was a constant, never taking "no" for an answer.

"i see."

a slight chill overcame her. "i guess what i'm saying is that... maybe..." she paused, not wanting to finish her statement, not wanting to hurt him but knowing if they didn't end this, things would only get worse.

"yeah?"

Miranda's heart flittered. "i think we should... stop... seeing each other. i'm so sorry."

a slow smile hit his lips and she copied it half-heartedly. Eli exhaled. "now... doesn't that feel so much better?"

her body shrugged. "i guess."

"it will in the morning. trust me." leaning down, he placed a kiss on her cheek and then her lips softly before leaving.

fifteen minutes later, when the doorbell rang, she was still standing in the same spot. opening it, fleetingly, she hoped that it was Eli. seeing Ben, tears slipped from her eyes and he hugged her without an explanation.