seven glasses of wine:

"it's been three days... i... i should be over him by now, right?" Miranda asked, pouring more wine from the box she'd gotten as an early christmas gift from her mentor. it had taken some time, but she was finally ready to dive into her feelings and the wine.

"don't beat yourself up about it," her girlfriend, Callie, said picking up a slice of pizza. "every feeling is valid or whatever my therapist says."

"i mean, i loved him, sure, but it wasn't like i was... we weren't... like... in love."

"yeah, well..."

"and he was a really great guy."

"i suppose..."

"i just miss him," Miranda whined with a burp, dropping her head to the arm of the sofa she was lying on.

Callie swallowed and said: "look, i never thought that Eli was the one for you. i just thought he was pretty and would be good in bed." Miranda raised a brow. she wouldn't deny that that part had been fun. "it had been so long since Tucker and he seemed to make you happy for a bit."

Miranda's lips pursed in protest. "you never told me this."

"i'm a good friend." the two women cracked up.

"well, good friend, what am i supposed to do now?" she hated that she was feeling like this. he wasn't the first guy she'd liked since her ex-husband had died, but he was the one who'd stuck around the longest. aside from Ben, but that... Miranda sipped her wine... that was a whole other thing in and of itself. something she couldn't even begin to tackle. her eyes shot open. "i need to go lay down."

"are you okay, Bailey?"

"why do you ask?"

"because you are laying down."

Miranda looked at her sofa, the one she'd been laying on for the last two hours or so, the same one she and Sanaa had picked out with Ben a few years ago. the one he'd purchased for them in an attempt to make her feel better about her future life of parenting her preteen alone.

the three of them had spent the day looking at furniture, trying to find something new for their place with Ben flopping about on twenty sofas doing any and everything to make them smile, including, planned or not, falling off of one and breaking two lamps that he'd been made to pay for.

thinking about it now, Miranda began laughing and found she couldn't stop even when tears flooded her eyes. "ahhh!"

"yep," Callie said breaking into her thoughts, "seven glasses of wine will do that for ya."

"maybe we made a mistake. i mean, maybe we needed to give it some more time. maybe i ended it too soon," Miranda lamented.

"maybe you didn't call it soon enough."

the women congregated and drank and ate and slept until the late afternoon turned to night to morning. when she woke up, Miranda saw that Callie was gone and that she'd straightened up and had even turned on her christmas tree. walking to the bathroom with her phone in hand, she checked her notifications and saw more emails that she'd have to delete plus a voice message from her mom. sitting on the toilet, she read, listened and swiped those away.

she read a couple of texts from Sanaa last night asking if she could go to a party with her friends at another friends' house.

hey, ma.
can i go to shine's?
hello?
mom?

the second to last one said she'd called Ben and he'd said it was fine, that he'd clear it with you. the very last one revealed that Sanaa was back at Alexis' house with a picture of the girls attached. there were also a couple of calls and messages from Ben corroborating what her daughter had said and asking if she wanted to get breakfast in the morning.

as Miranda reread all of the messages in order checking timestamps, her head which had been nagging her with a slow "tap" had sped up to a "pound". she replied to Sanaa with a good morning before she started composing a message to Ben that she would make sure to send. she wanted to know where he got off thinking he could... "ARRGHHH!" it was too much to type this early in the morning. she called him instead, her heart racing.

"morning!" he answered cheerfully. "where are we going for breakfast? because, at first, i was thinking crêpes or waffles or french toast, but then i thought, nah! pancakes! you know i love me some pancakes." he chuckled as she stayed silent. "hello? Miranda?"

Miranda took a deep breath before saying: "for future reference, i would prefer it if you would not give Sanaa permission to do anything and go anywhere without talking to me first."

"huh?"

"you know that i appreciate everything that you do for her and... for me. you know that. but she is my child, not yours. and i'll decide where she can and cannot go and with whom. not you!" it all spewed out of her quickly and angrily. "and good morning."

the quiet on both ends made her anxious and she was propelled by the need to fill it when Ben began speaking in a voice that pretended to be calm though she knew it was quite the opposite. "so... let me get this right. it's okay for me to come in on my off day and stitch up her hand, drive her places when you can't, buy her stuff..."

"wait," she started, but he cut her off.

"no, no, no... i get it. i can take care of her when she's sick," he continued, his tone rising, "and just be there as a friend because i love her and i love you, but—"

"don't—"

"but i can't tell her to go to a party even after i've talked to Alexis' parents and Shine's and you didn't answer the phone?"

she was spiraling now. "that's not what i..."

"that's bullshit, Miranda."

the woman was now at a lost for words. nothing would come out except... vomit. lots and lots of it. luckily, she was able to get most of it into a trashcan near the toilet bowl.

"Miranda?" she sniffled and began crying. "Miranda, are you alright?" Ben asked with a sigh.

"i'm... al... i'm alright," she said when she could finally speak, wiping her mouth. "i'm okay." the quiet this time was much different.

"good." he ended the call and she was alone.