five days 'til christmas:

Miranda was proud of herself. christmas was most definitely christmasing in her house. the lights were draped and blinking, the tree was gorgeously decorated, there was snow on the ground, no work until tuesday and Sanaa had a few friends over for the night.

with five days 'til christmas, the two of them had made up with Miranda letting her open one of her big gifts early. it'd hurt being at odds with her daughter and her best friend. but she could and would do her best to live without Ben, she absolutely could not live without Sanaa. tonight it seemed that everything was as perfect as could be.

she gave the high school juniors some space and sat in the nook by the window in the upstairs hallway reading and watching the snow fall and promptly settle into their already fallen sistren. the nook had been the entire reason she'd persuaded Tucker to buy the house. it didn't hurt that the place just happened to have everything else they needed: a bedroom for them, of course, one for Sanaa and two more for the kids who'd never come because her marriage had snowballed into a mess so quickly and then he was gone.

Miranda crossed her ankles. every birthday and every holiday always made her feel like she was in a deep pocket of emotions, but christmas seemed to be the worst, especially this year. especially since she hadn't really talked to Ben in what seemed like forever. and it was in times like these, when she needed him.

but at least he wasn't taking their problems out on Sanaa. they were still very close and that meant everything to Miranda. he really was amazing.

"ma!"

"yeah?"

"can we order pizza?"

"and wings and skins!" one of the other girls called out.

another added: "and fries!"

Miranda laughed and started her trek to her wallet and to her phone. half and hour later, the doorbell ringing made her heart spin. on one hand, she knew it was the food, but she also hoped (and prayed) that it was Ben. some days she feared that their friendship was going in a direction that meant she'd be without him for a long, long time.

checking the peephole, her indifference dripped off of her face replaced by shock and then a smile. "mama! daddy!" she exclaimed, pulling her parents in from the cold and hugging them tightly. "now this is a wonderful christmas surprise."

William smirked. "only to you."

"yeah, we've been planning this with Buttercup since halloween," Elena remarked.

Miranda turned to her daughter, who waved, wanting to hug her. when did she get so mature? "Is that so?" her parents nodded as they took off their coats and shoes and got situated in the living room with the teens who'd since crowded around with hugs and greetings. the food arrived a little while later and they all dug in.

afterward, William wasted no time falling asleep, a bowl of popcorn in his lap and his mouth wide open.

"alright now!" Elena Bailey giddily. "where's that handsome friend—boyfriend of yours? um... Eli?" the girls began snickering and Miranda shot them a steely look. "what?" her mom asked.

"it's nothing, mama. they're just being silly."

"i remember you at that age, everything was funny," Elena reminisced. "and, uh... did you tell Ben we were here?"

at that, her dad had snored himself awake. "Ben's here?" Miranda shook her head. "well, when he does come back, tell him he owes me some bourbon," William said drifting back to sleep.

Miranda's ears perked up: "come back?"

"he dropped us off," her dad muttered and Miranda's breathing deepened as her nostrils flared. of course he did. and, of course, everyone knew except for her!

"let's go, y'all. c'mon!" Sanaa hissed.

shaking her head, she watched her guilty daughter and her friends scurry from the room. "i would have picked you both up."

"that's not how surprises work," Elena maintained with a grin. unable to hear anymore at the moment, Miranda got up and went into the kitchen trying to calm down. he'd been right outside of the door and hadn't bothered to speak—maybe their friendship was really over. maybe he was just that mad. maybe they couldn't be fixed... "he said to tell you that he had to get back to the hospital, Mandy."

her mother's voice startled her. "i'm... i'm sure." burning in her throat and itching in her eyes forced her to excuse herself from the room. she couldn't stop a tear from slipping down her face. what were they doing? what the hell was she doing?

later that evening, which was forming into morning, when it was just the two Bailey women, Miranda and Elena settled on the sofa, talking as a movie played quietly in the background. "so... Eli and i broke up," she stated, sipping a beer.

"i know," Elena told her.

"you did?"

she nodded. "though i wish you would have told us."

"i know. i know. i'm sorry."

her mother touched her leg. "it's alright, baby." the movie continued and Miranda's thoughts drifted to her ex and just that quickly to Ben. she wondered what he was doing. it wasn't natural for them to have spent so much time apart, not during christmas. as if reading her mind, Elena asked about him. "so, what's going on with you and Ben?"

"oh, nothing, mama." Elena put a piece of popcorn into her mouth slowly. Miranda's voice lowered. "he and i aren't really talking right now," she admitted, wanting her mom to know everything... or almost everything.

"and why not?"

"it's a long story, mama."

"and we have all night."