DISCLAIMER: All rights to Uncle Rick!

"And on your left you'll see a very important site, the main battlefield where Brigadier General Alexander Asboth led the 2nd division…."

Bump. Bump. We were riding along the battlefield tour road in a Jeep, and most of the kids around me were falling asleep thanks to Mr. Thero's incredibly monotone voice. I'd tried to pay attention, but ADHD and Mr. Thero do not mix well, so instead, I'd decided to make a beat from the bumps in the road.

Tap. Bump. Tap tap. Bump. Tap. Bump bump.

Finally, the Jeep stopped and we could get off. My legs were itching to run around and inspect the cannons that they'd rolled out for us, but first, we had to listen to Mr. Thero explain the safety rules, and there was an audible groan among the class.

I felt a tug on my arm, and looked over to see my bestie Natalie dragging me away once Mr. Thero had stopped talking. We walked over to one of the cannons when I noticed something moving out of the corner of my eye. I've been noticing them a lot lately, mainly when I'm alone, which is, as you can imagine, really creepy. But there was something different about this one. Usually, the thing that was watching me was blurry, and I could never make out what it was, not even the shape, but now, it was a little clearer. It looked like a lumpy green rock with warts on it. Weird. If wicked witches were a rock, that would be it.

"Hey, Imma go check out that weird rock, kay?" Natalie looked at me like I was crazy, which I probably was. Who would rather check out a sketchy looking rock than a cannon?

"Isa, what weird rock are you talking about?"

Apparently Nat hadn't noticed it yet, which happens a lot with my ADHD, since I tend to laser-focus on really odd things that other people don't, so I pointed it out to her.

"Right there. See?"

"Dude, what are you talking about? That's just a normal rock."

"No, it's not. Normal rocks don't have witches warts on them. And, last time I checked, they aren't green either."

"They're not." I smiled, satisfied.

"Exactly!"

"But that one's not green." I did a double take. Yep, still green and warty. Is Nat color-blind or something? No, can't be, her favorite color's orange.

"You know what? That rock doesn't look stuck to the ground. If you can't see it from here, then I'll just bring it over. BRB."

"Isa, wait! The guide said to not go off the site!"

I rolled my eyes. Nat was always the worrier. "I'm not going off the field, I'm just reaching off the field. They never said we couldn't do that."

She rolled her eyes in return. "Does loophole mode ever turn off?"

I smirked. "Nope. Never will."

I reached the rock and stumbled back in a mix of fear and disgust.

"Oh my god, what is that?!"

Nat was right behind me, but for some strange reason, she didn't have the same reaction as me. Not even close.

"Dude, it's a rock. Not green, not nothing. Just a regular rock."

Well, that definitely wasn't true. This thing was far from regular. Because on closer inspection, it was far from a rock. It looked like a lumpy, disturbingly squishy, green blob of warts with little…. was that corn? stalks coming out of the back. But the worst part was the face. Or the fact that it even had a face. It looked like someone had dumped a bag of expired, half-popped popcorn kernels on it, and left it in a dumpster for 2 months. Even smelled like it.

"It looks like what I imagined the Cabbage Patch dolls to look like." I managed, in a shakier voice than expected.

"You mean demonic green looking doll faces and bodies made of cabbage?"

"Yes!"

Nat pressed a hand to my forehead with a worried expression on her face.

"Girl, are you good?" Asked Natalie.

"Aside from the whatever this is I'm looking at? Yeah, why?"

"You sure? I mean, it is pretty hot. Is hallucination a symptom of heatstroke?"

I was shocked. She really couldn't see it. Why? I mean, it's not like it wasn't obvious. That thing had more pimples than Nat's brother. It looked like this rock had splurged on Halloween Costumes' buy 5 get 5 free sale.

"Gah!" Something was pulling on my hair and dragging me to the ground!

"Isabelle! Oh gosh, okay, stay right there! I'm gonna get Mr. Thero!"

"No, don't leave me!" But surprise surprise, she did. Wait, is it just me, or were the cannons getting farther away? Shoot, they were getting farther away! I tried to shake whatever was carrying me off, but when I looked down, it was just…. dust. Like, I've heard of ants being able to carry stuff 10 times their own weight, but I'm pretty sure dust shouldn't be able to do that.

"Help! Someone, help me! I'm being kidnapped by dust that has a mind of its own! Hello?!"

No one even covered their ears to block out my yells. Like dang, I knew that I wasn't very popular because of how often I kept switching schools (long story short: freak accidents that kept following me around and were in no way my fault), but everyone just straight up ignored me, and Nat had kinda just disappeared. So much for getting Mr. Thero. It's like they were blind or something, and the only person that seemed to actually care that I was being kidnapped by dust, and probably that weird Cabbage Patch rock, was the exchange student, Grover. He wasn't exactly my friend, not really, we just got to know each other since he had the same classes as me. Honestly, he and Nat were the only ones that had the guts to get near me, since everyone else was scared that they'd accidentally be a part of one of my 'freak accidents' and be expelled too. My eyes snapped to Grover, who was running (surprisingly fast, considering he was on crutches) towards me holding a weird looking pencil holder that was strapped around his neck.

"Hey! Stop wriggling, will ya?"

My head snapped around trying to figure out who said that, when I realized that the piece of dust near my hand wasn't dust! It'd turned back into a Cabbage Patch rock with teeth!

"Let me go! Why are you even taking me?"

Music. Coming from… Grover's pencil holder? No, it was an instrument of some sort. Ah! A pan flute! That's what it is! Apparently all José's band stuff came in handy after all. The dust under me turned back into Cabbage Patch dolls and seemed to be slowing down.

"Ow! What gives?!"

Rubbing my head, I sat up on something squishy. Oh gross! It was the grossest version of a cabbage patch possible! Apparently they dropped me on themselves. I saw Grover running towards me, but he was carrying his crutches! Who fakes a disorder? Dude, not cool!

"Come on Isa! We have to get out of here!"

"Hold up! How did you do that? Is that pan flute magical? What are these things? And what do you mean we?

"Isa! There's no time to explain! The spell doesn't last very long, so we need to get out of here now!"

"So it is magical! But how? And also, hold up. I wanna see what these things are."

"No, don't!"

In hindsight, I probably should've listened to Grover, but I also wanted to see what kidnapped me, so I started to walk back towards them. The rocks started waking up one by one, and they all turned their disturbingly green eyes on me. Uh oh. I think they're angry. Bad idea. Now they were walking towards me! Really bad idea.

"Karpoi, attack!"

So that's what these things are.

"Ah! Hey! Get off me, you…karpoi…things!"

One of the karpoi (Karpos? Karpoies? Annnd there goes my ADHD again) jumped on my back. They're pretty heavy for such little guys! Where were they taking me? Oh, oh no. Were they gonna try and stuff me in one of the cannons?! Not on my watch! I tried to pry them off me, but the little guys wouldn't budge! We were really close to the cannon now. Come on Grover, play your music and help a girl out! Wait, what are they doing? Why are they picking up a cannonball if I'm the- No! The little psychos were gonna shoot me with a cannonball!

"Grover, a little help here!"

"Right, uh where's my- uh oh. They took my pan flute!"

If I could reach that guy to smack him, I would. I mean, really Grover?! Is now the best time for a flight instinct?! He had perfectly good crutches he could whack them with!

"Your crutches! Use them!" And hurry, they're lighting the fuse!"

I have no idea how people didn't notice that I was being carried by sentient rocks, they were about to fire a cannon, and Grover faked his disorder! Ow, jeez, and on top of everything else, these karpoi just had to poke me with a- wait, is that Grover's pan flute? Bet. If I could just reach it….

"What are you- hey! Give that back!"

"Don't think so, karpoi. Oy, Grover, catch!" I said, tossing Grover's pan flute over the karpoi and back to him.

"Wha- gah!"

Okay, when I got away from the karpoi, Grover was gonna get smacked. He just couldn't catch when it was needed most, could he? Oh no, they're loading the cannon! Please let them be too short to put the cannonball in! Please let it be too heavy to lift! Yes! Score! These guys weren't tall enough to put the cannonball in yet, but they already lit the fuse. Pretty stupid, and that's coming from the girl who got kicked out of a school because they thought I put crayons in the toilet to make it overflow. I mean, I know I was 7 but jeez, not all 7 year olds have no common sense. Now the karpoi were stacking on top of each other to reach the barrel of the cannon. Doesn't look like it's working though. Oof, those guys have less teamwork skills than Juán and José. Hopefully that should give Grover enough time to-

"Oof!" Yes! I don't think I've ever been so glad to hear music!

Boom! The fuse! Well, guess who just got expelled….again. They're definitely gonna find a way to blame it on me. They always do.

"Ms. Mazarine, didn't I tell you to not fire the cannons?" Oh great. Apparently Nat did get Mr. Thero, and obviously they had to show up at the worst possible time.

"Isa! What did you do?! Exclaimed Natalie. Boy, this was gonna be hell to explain.

"Isa, we gotta go. Now."

Yeah, I think I'm gonna listen to you now, Grover. We gotta get out of here, ASAP. Is it a crime to fire a cannon with people in the area?

"Coming!"

Grover grabbed my arm and started rushing through the park. I had no idea where we were going, so I just had to trust him, which was kinda hard considering everything that just happened. That's when I noticed Grover's stature. He was hunched, massaging his forehead with one hand, while the other was still on my arm, as if he didn't trust that I would stay by him, which was probably valid. He looked like he would collapse, even though we'd only been running for about a minute.

"Grover, are you okay?"

He stopped and leaned against a tree. It took a while for him to answer, but eventually he glanced at me and said " Oh, I'm fine. Just tired. Playing two spells back to back takes a lot out of a goat." Hold up. Goat? Did I hear that right? No, can't be, must be the heat. But it isn't even that hot. And, now that I think about it, Grover's baseball cap never seems to sit flat on his head and he can run surprisingly fast while still having a limp when he walks.

"Sorry, what now? Goat?"

Grover glanced up at me once again, mumbling something under his breath and sighing. I eyed his lopsided baseball cap. What's under there? Only one way to find out. I yanked it off his head, and was greeted by two horns barely peeking out from underneath his wild curly hair.

"Guess there's no need to hide these anymore." Said Grover before kicking off his shoes and shaking off his…. hooves? Wow, he wasn't kidding when he said goat. Wait, why am I not surprised? I should be freaking out right now! But I'm not. I've seen weirder things in my dad's client's houses, and that's saying something considering the fact that Grover's a talking goat.

"Grover, why didn't you tell me that you're a talking goat?"

He looked at me as if he was slightly offended and exclaimed "First of all, I'm a satyr, thank you very much, and second of all, do you really think you would've believed me?" He had a good point. We continued walking to wherever Grover was taking me.

"Okay Grover Underwood the satyr, where are we going?"

"Camp Half-Blood. If I had to guess, it's probably a two-week hike from here, so we'd better get moving. Tyche blessed us with those karpoi, but we can't test our luck."

"Who? And if those things were a blessing, then I'd hate to see a curse."

Grover's face darkened. "Trust me, you would. And Tyche is the goddess of luck and fortune, basically the same thing.

"Goddess? As in, myths and stuff? Oh, and by the way, here, you deserve it." I smacked him on the cheek. Don't worry, it wasn't even that hard. He should be glad I didn't have a chancla on me. Those things hurt. Not that I would've used it on him, or anything. Just, ya know, intrusive thoughts.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"For not being able to catch your dang pan flute and almost getting me a gaping hole in my stomach."

"Well, jeez, you could've at least done it gentler." Said Grover, rubbing his cheek. "Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, I'll tell you about it on the way to Camp Half-Blood."

"That reminds me, where is it even? I mean, a two week hike?! We don't have tents or water or anything!"

"It's on Long Island Sound, but don't worry, I have some supplies that should last us about a week. Then we'll stop in a nearby city to restock and hope we don't run into any monsters."

"Monsters?!"

"Yeah, this is gonna be a long trip."

"Ya think?!"

Yes, I know mazarine is a color, but it was the only last name idea I liked.

Cheers,

HPfan5ever.