The next week passed by in a blur for Izuku. Nezu had insisted that he stay at Yuuei, under Recovery Girl's supervision - the Recovery Girl! surely he had died on that alien ship - for any signs of some alien super-virus, which he didn't have. His mother fought tooth and nail to bring him home, but when Izuku said it might be the closest he would ever get to going to Yuuei, she instantly caved. She still came by every day after work to check on him, and she even met the Turians.
Nezu had asked him to share his thoughts on all his hero students. Then the other courses. When Izuku revealed that he kept entire journals on pro heroes, Nezu immediately demanded them, had him rewrite them all in code, and had him set himself up as a professional analyst under a pseudonym, complete with his own bank account. Izuku insisted his work wasn't worth anything, but Nezu simply smiled and told him to let the heroes decide how much his work was worth. That bank account already had seven figures in it and kept climbing by the hour.
And if that wasn't enough, Izuku also got to spend days with literal, real aliens. They taught him how to shoot their rifles, since they insisted that every child should know how to defend themselves. Then Snipe showed up and had Izuku use his own guns as well. Snipe's pistols! Izuku nearly got tears all over them. After a few days of living on the gun range, Izuku hit every target all the way down the range. Desonis said there was hope for his species after all.
Izuku also learned some of the Turians' language. They all had translators, which they were trying to calibrate to Japanese, but in the meantime, he learned basic things like 'hello', 'for the Primarch', and 'shove it up your cloaca'. Iriven insisted that the swears were the most important part of any language, and now, Izuku knew more swears in an alien language than his own. Desonis made all of them run laps when he found out, Izuku included.
In return, Izuku told them everything he could think of about humans. Which, for the most part, was Quirks. They had endless questions about the random powers and mutations. The more Izuku explained, the more slack-jawed and shell-shocked the aliens became. By the time he got around to explaining Stars and Stripes' Quirk, they had given up on trying to find a way to mold Quirks into their understanding of physics and biology, or devising ways to counter them with military tactics.
News about the Turians' presence broke on the fifth day. An ambassador came bearing visas and concealed carry permits, and she showed them around carefully curated areas of Japan. The Turians insisted that Izuku come with them, so he got to see them try dextro-friendly ramen, visit Tokyo Tower, and take a tour of Mount Fuji.
And now, seven days later, it was time to take them home. The entire world sent out a broadcast, telling everyone to open all their doors. Helicopters roamed over cities, with cameras panning around, showing all the open doors, with everyone glued to their television screens or gathering in a massive crowd before the aliens.
Izuku vibrated like an overly caffeinated child. He was on TV, across the world. He was about to visit an alien planet. On TV.
He shook All Might's hand.
On. TV.
He was never going to wash that hand again.
All the caffeine from the tea Nezu gave him probably wasn't helping either.
Eraserhead held Nezu up to the microphone. The principal cleared their throat and said, "Thank you all for coming, and for your show of support. For the sake of your electricity bills, I'll keep this brief."
That got a chuckle out of the audience.
"Today may very well be the single most important day in our history. More important, even, than the first Quirk. Today, with one small step, we reunite these stranded soldiers with their homeland and introduce ourselves to a galactic community that predates our own civilization. So, without further ado, let's get started."
On that cue, Izuku opened the door. An Ectoplasm clone stepped through, and Izuku closed it. One by one, Izuku found all the unopened doors in the world and let a clone through to open them. They found many academic curiosities that day, including an abandoned research facility in the Antarctic, that same underwater ship Izuku found last week, an entire buried village, with tunnels dug between the buildings that showed, however briefly, that people lived down there, and a hidden stash of long expired whisky, golden doubloons, and a tattered jolly roger.
Hours passed by, and Izuku had to switch arms from opening the door so often. Despite the worldwide effort to open every door, there remained thousands that were forgotten or inaccessible. Ectoplasm had to swap out for robots built by Yuuei. The crowd thinned as people went back home, bored by the endless wait. Izuku ate a sandwich with one hand and kept opening the door with another, and an ambassador held up a cup with a bendy straw for him.
Izuku opened the door one final time and saw the backside of the stage through it. Izuku closed it and opened it again. He poked his head through, marveling that, for the first time he could remember, he opened a door, and it went exactly where it was supposed to go.
His awe was undercut by Desonis saying, "Is that it? There aren't any more doors?"
Izuku's heart sank. Here he was, happy his Quirk was gone for once, but it meant the Turians could never return home.
"Perhaps Midoriya has exhausted his Quirk for the moment. We'll try closing a door and see if his Quirk still works."
At Nezu's direction, Izuku opened the door again. It connected back to an abandoned monastery. Another close and open, and the door went nowhere once more.
"There has to be a hinged door somewhere in the universe!" Desonis said. "Why isn't it working?"
"It's possible there's a limit to Midoriya's range. You did say your ship was near the edges of explored space when Izuku found you. If there isn't anything else nearby, then we'll have to switch to Plan B."
Desonis crossed his arms. "We still can't give you schematics or tell you anything."
"That's fine. We'll figure it out on your own."
"With the tech I've seen? We'll be lucky to be alive when you finally activate a Relay."
"Don't sell us too short, Captain. There's a lot humans can do when they put their mind to it."
One of the Turians' omni tools chirped. Her face went slack as she read it. "Uh, sir? I just got pinged by a Turian vessel."
Desonis hurried over to her. "That's not possible. The only way we'd get a connection was if they were… in the same… oh no."
Nezu cleared his throat, making the Turians flinch. Smiling gently, the principal said, "Perhaps we should take this somewhere else?"
Izuku opened the door again, and it led to Nezu's office. As they left, Aizawa and the other U.A. staff urged the crowd to disperse and told everyone they could shut their doors again.
In the privacy of Nezu's office, the principal sat Desonis down and poured him some tea. "Is there any chance of a peaceful resolution?"
"Given the Admiral broke one of the most strictly regulated laws of the Citadel? Almost zero. Assuming High Command even knows what's going on here, they would most likely conquer your species, then claim afterwards you were the ones that opened the relay and attacked first. No one would believe it, but no one would object to it either."
"Which means we have a war to win, against a unified, technologically superior space-faring race with a military doctrine centuries ahead of our own." Nezu sipped his tea and set it down with a resounding clank. "It's been a while since I've had a good challenge."
Admiral Corvac sampled a fine vintage of Palaven Brandy as he scowled at the holographic projection of the planet before him. "Look at it. Even their very planet is wretched and disgusting. No wonder its inhabitants grow so vile and loathsome. All ships, open fire."
"On the planet sir?"
"Do you see anything else in this miserable corner of the universe to fire upon? Yes, the planet! Open fire, now!"
The bridge crew looked nervously at him. The gunnery captain said, "May I have confirmation of that order, and that you would throw me in the brig if I tried to object?"
"You insolent cur! Open fire or I'll throw you out the airlock myself!"
The captain snapped a sharp salute and said, "Yes sir, one war crime coming up. All ships, open fire!"
The display showed a thousand streaks of light plummeting towards major population centers. Corvac leaned forward, face alight with glee, as he awaited the impending destruction.
Lights blinked out one by one. Entire swathes vanished in an instant, and a few even turned back around, abruptly changing course to hurtle back at the fleet. Not expecting the returning fire, a few ships erupted into bursts of Eezo radiation as their own bombardment got returned to sender.
"See?" Corvac shouted. "The cowardly scum don't dare fight us ourselves."
"What are your orders, sir?"
"Bombard them again! And use more missiles this time!"
As the gunnery captain gave the order, the ship's lights winked out. Corvac slammed down his fist, spilling brandy everywhere. "Useless engineers! Tell them to turn the power on immediately or I'll have them tied to the prow and ram this whole ship into that planet!"
"Backup generator is offline!" an officer said. "Even the omni tools aren't working. All ships have powered down. Sir, I think the enemy disabled our ships!"
Desonis stood and drew his pistol. "Then we ram into the planet and fight them the old fashioned way!"
"We can't even move the ship! We're stuck here!"
"Excuses!" Desonis leveled the pistol at the objecting engineer. "This ship has no room for alien sympathizers like you!"
The pistol clicked, and nothing happened. The other Turians all checked their guns and found them all offline.
"It's the electronics," the engineer said. "Every electrical device has been disabled."
The gunnery captain shared glances with everyone else. "That means all the recording equipment's down too, right?"
"It should be, yes."
"That means high command won't have any idea what's happening until it comes back on, right?"
Every head in the room swiveled towards Admiral Corvac. The Admiral scoffed at them. "What are you all staring at me for? Are all of you so empty-headed that you require me to dictate your every action? Fix this blasted ship or throw yourselves out the nearest airlock and swim towards that planet!"
One Turian eyed the bottle of brandy sitting at the Admiral's side. He snatched it up, shoved the top into the admiral's mouth, and held it there while the other crew members held him down.
"Oh, how tragic," the Turian said dryly. "The good Admiral choked on his brandy. Stow him in the kitchen freezer so he can be buried with full honors if we ever get home. Now, does anyone have any idea how we can signal our surrender to these aliens?"
"You could ask nicely."
Every Turian drew pistols and fired at the alien interloper. The clicking of dead triggers echoed across the deck. Sheepishly, the new commanding officer waved the rest of his men down and said, "We are ready to hear your demands."
A/N: Nezu - ooh, this might actually be difficult
Also Nezu - Star and Stripe go brrr