I made a dash through the roof tops as I headed back in the direction of the wagon. I spotted Captain Levi turning a corner and he had blood flowing down his face. My eyes narrowed on another one of Kenny's men positioned above Levi. He aimed his gun at Levi and fired. The bullet lodged into the building the same time my hooks did. I sped down and spun my blades simultaneously. I sliced through the mid section of the man before landing on the side of the building.
"Not bad. You handle the other three?" Levi landed against the wall in front of me.
I nodded, "They're taken care of." I assured him. Levi's eyes shifted to above us.
"Looks like backup finally arrived." I turned my head to see Armin, Connie, Jean, Mikasa, and Sasha. I could see their bewildered faces from here.
"Follow the wagon!" Levi ordered. He jumped off the building and took off with his gear. I followed suit right behind him. The rest of the Levi Squad quickly caught up with us. We turned the corner and the wagon was once again in sight.
"Listen up, these soldiers were trained to fight other people. They've already taken out three of ours. If you hesitate for as so much as a second, you'll be dead. The moment you see an opening, go for the kill." Levi ordered.
"Yes, sir." Mikasa replied. I didn't speak any words. I connected my left handle to a new parry blade and pulled it out.
Levi sped ahead and jumped off a market stall. He sent his hook into the soldier standing in the moving wagon and pulled him off of it. I headed up high and stabbed through one of Kenny's men. Two more of Kenny's men showed up once again.
"Armin, secure the wagon with Jean! We'll keep you two covered!" Levi ordered.
"Uh..sir!" Armin hesitated. Jean appeared to be in disbelief of what was happening around him. He hesitated but made it to the wagon with Armin.
I focused back on the two soldiers that were above me. I dodged a bullet one soldier aimed for me. I shot my hooks into the one that just fired. I launched myself into the soldier and stabbed through his chest with my right blade. I held his body up as a shield as the other soldier fired at me. I yanked down and snapped off a section of my dulling blade. I disengaged my hooks and the moment I dropped the body. I hooked my pinky on the metal trigger to release the blade. Simultaneously, I flung the broken blade at the soldier. The soldier's head flung back as the broken bit of blade lodged into his eye socket. The blade might have been too dull to slice through a Titan, but not a human. I would know, first hand experience and all.
"Jean!" My eyes widened hearing Jean's name behind me followed up by a gunshot. I turned my head to look behind me mid-air. I was surprised to see Armin holding a gun with smoke coming from the barrel. The woman that was riding the wagon was now dead. Armin looked frozen and was visibly shaking.
"Shit! Armin, Jean!" Levi called out. I looked up and saw three more soldiers. They all aimed their guns at Armin and Jean. I quickly rerouted myself and grabbed hold of Armin. Levi grabbed Jean and both of us got out of the way of the bullets in time. I skidded against the ground as I landed with Armin. I placed my hand on Armin's back as he knelt on the ground with his hands and knees.
"Armin, you okay?" Armin shakidly turned his head to me. His eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat.
"Vivien…there's blood…on your face…" I frowned in a sympathetic way.
"It's not mine." I explained softly.
"EREN!" I looked up from Armin to see Levi holding back Mikasa. The soldiers had gotten away with Eren and Historia. Damnit, I feel like we just got Eren back and he already got taken away yet again.
We all sat around by a campfire in the abandoned warehouse from earlier. We sat on boxes while eating ration food for the night. The mood was somber and we were mostly quiet. Captain Levi had a wrap around his small cut on his head. I washed the blood that had speckled my face. Armin just stared at his ration food. He had gotten back just recently after getting some fresh air. We could hear him vomit from here. Armin's not really the violent type so going to an extreme and killing another person made him feel sick.
"What's wrong? All this filth kill your appetite?" Levi questioned.
"No. Jean?" Said man turned to Armin, "There's something I don't understand."
"What's that?" He asked.
"When I turned around to try to save you. That woman already had her gun to your head. It's…funny. I shot before she did." Armin stated.
"I don't know." Jean said as he hung his head down.
"She hesitated. That's what got her killed." I spoke up. Levi's eyes flickered over to me.
"I'm sorry, Armin. You wouldn't have to save me if I had just done my job." Jean scolded himself.
"I know it is. That woman that I shot back there. I'm sure she was a really kind person. She must have acted more human than I ever did. I pulled that trigger so easily. Without a thought. I'm-"
"A killer. Now that your hands are soaked in blood. The person you once were is gone for good." Levi stated.
"Why would you say that?" Mikasa criticized.
"Because it's true." I felt eyes on me as I spoke, "What is it you always say, Mikasa? The world is a cruel place. That sums up this entire situation quite nicely, don't you think?" I stated as I stared at Mikasa. Mikasa stared at me surprised before she frowned and casted her gaze on the floor.
"You shouldn't regret what you did. If you hadn't pulled that trigger. Jean would be a corpse on a cart right now. I'll tell you why you pulled the trigger, because your comrade was about to die. Armin, everyone in our squad survived today because you got blood on your hands. Thank you." Armin looked disheartened by Levi's words.
"Vivien," I glanced my eyes at Armin, "I'm afraid to ask but I'm curious. How did you get blood on your face?" An image of the man's headless hanging body and the screaming woman came to my mind.
"Does it really matter? I did what I had to, to survive. Nothing more, nothing less." I stated nonchalantly.
"Viv that's…kinda cold." Jean said just above a whisper.
"Is it really? Vivien had a choice to make. Either her life or theirs. She made her choice. Her quick thinking, fierceness, and lack of hesitation made the difference between life and death for her." Levi defended me. Jean's eyes widened before he frowned and stared hard at the ground.
"Captain Levi I uh…I thought it was wrong for us to fight other humans, sir. I thought it was wrong that you ordered us to kill them. I mean, we became soldiers to protect people. But now, I see that I was in the wrong, sir. Next time I swear I'll shoot." Jean vowed.
"I never said what was right or wrong. My moral high ground is shot to hell. I have no idea who's in the right at this point." A brief silence befell our squad again.
"Now then," Levi stood up, "I think it's time to hear what our guest has to say." He turned around and began walking to the man we had tied and gagged.
I stared daggers at the man that I finally got a good look at. It's him. He's the one that blocked the inner gate during the Battle of Trost.
Levi pulled the gag off him, "Mercy please! I'm just an old man that moves cargo. I didn't want-"
"I've met this man before. He seemed to be a prominent merchant." Mikasa stated. Her and I both approached the man. He stared at us with his eyes wide.
"You're looking at the sleazebag that got countless soldiers killed during the Battle of Trost. All because he demanded his oversized cart full of goodies was more important than soldiers risking their lives to fight the Titans." I stated coldly.
I stepped closer and the man flinched as I got close to his face, "He only finally removed it once he was threatened. Which by the way. Weren't you going to report us to our commanding officer? Good news for you, he's standing right there." I pointed my thumb to Captain Levi, "Go ahead." I dared him.
A bead of sweat dropped from his forehead, "You're insane." He muttered.
"Vivien," I glanced over my shoulder, "Swap guard duties with Sasha. Cool it down." I glanced back at the merchant with an icy glare.
I stood back up, "Yes, sir." I walked towards the door of the warehouse. Seeing that man made my blood boil. There would be soldiers still alive today if it weren't for him. I clenched my hands into fists and tightened my jaw.
I sat at a wooden table at the new hideout we were using. Levi broke a deal with the sleazy merchant and he led the MP's into a trap. Levi and Hange were currently in the basement torturing them to get information. The rest of us were waiting in the main area. I had my head resting against my hand while the others talked around me. I held a blank stare as I gazed at nothing.
I ignored the screams happening down below. The man's screams got louder when Hange went down there. Not surprising in all honesty. The Captain knows how strong he is and most likely held back. Hange on the other hand…well this is personal for her too.
My mind drifted back to earlier in the day. I was still confused when Kenny mentioned that I looked like a carbon copy of a man he knew years ago. I never met my father but I know enough that he didn't come from the interior. He lived in the same village as mom near Shiganshina. So who the hell was he referring to?
"Hey Viv." I was pulled from my thoughts as I stared at Jean. He was giving me a hard and serious look.
"We finally have a moment to breathe and talk. Look, everyone else here doesn't want to confront you about this. But I've had enough." I raised a brow as I set down my arm.
"Jean!" Connie sneered at him nervously.
"No, Connie. I'm sick of this. This entire time we've been tiptoeing around Viv. We tried Armin's way but clearly it's only gotten worse. We need to intervene before we lose our friend." Jean expressed. His eyes looked in my direction at the last words.
"What're you talking about?" I demanded to know. Everyone but Jean and Mikasa lowered their heads.
"You've been different since we came back from the retrieval mission." Mikasa stated bluntly. My eyes flickered to Mikasa. She had a look of indifference on her face.
"Viv," I looked back at Jean, "We're worried about you. You've been distant from us lately. We're your friends and we hate seeing you like this. It's not you." Jean said in a firm yet comforting tone.
"You've been acting cold to us whenever anyone talks to you. Including Captain Levi." Sasha said honestly. Her eyes and facial expression held genuine concern.
"Not to mention, you've been getting angrier as of late. The smallest thing can set you off. Just look at what happened back at the warehouse. The Captain had to send you off to guard duty because your anger got the better of you." Connie pointed out.
"We understand you're hurting, and we tried to give you time. But that hasn't been working. We're your friends. You can talk to us, Vivien." Armin stated in concern.
I furrowed my brows in a frown and casted my eyes down on the table. How did this exactly turn into some kind of intervention? All because of what? That I changed after what happened. The fact they think I'd stay the happy, sarcastic Vivien they knew back in the cadet corp is a joke. Life changes you. For better or worse.
"The Vivien you guys knew is gone." I stated coldly.
"No," I glanced at Armin, "She's not gone, just buried deep. You buried that part of you. You're hurting but you're pushing it away with anger instead. That's not healthy, Vivien. You need to let yourself grieve. You need to grieve losing Rei-"
"Don't you dare say his name!" I snapped out and stood abruptly from my chair. My fist slammed on the table and the chair made a loud sound as it fell. I had a wild look in my eyes as I clenched and bared my teeth in anger. Armin, Connie, Jean, Mikasa, and Sasha all had wide eyed stares. I heard stomping footsteps come from below before the door swung open.
"What's with all the noise? The hell is going on here?" Levi questioned. He looked around the table before his piercing steel blue eyes settled on me. His eyes narrowed on me.
"Vivien, outside. Now. Don't go anywhere. I'll be out there shortly. We need to talk." Levi ordered and slammed the door before heading back.
Without another word, I swiftly exited the cabin. I walked over to the oak tree next to the cabin. I plopped myself onto the grass and leaned my back against the trunk. I stared at the stars in the night sky above. My mind began to wander as I silently watched twinkling stars. A shooting one caught my eyes. Mom use to say wishing on a shooting star meant it would come true. I never believed that, even as a kid. Then again…
I whispered, "I wish that I got my closure from you." as an image of Reiner flashed through my mind. I felt my eyes begin to water and the hurt started to surface again. I wiped away the tears and pushed the feeling down. Stop it. Stop thinking like that! He left me, he tricked me, and he betrayed me. So what if he saved me twice? Eren told us just how much guilt he's carried for what he's done. He saved me because he felt guilty.
The sound of the creaking door and boots on gravel traveled in the air. I looked up as Levi walked over to me. He stopped and stared at me for a few seconds. He turned around without a word and picked up an empty crate. He flipped it over and took a seat on the bottom of the crate.
"They caught me up to speed on what happened. Frankly, I don't really give a damn about how you want to cope with whatever it is you're going through. What I do give a damn about is targeting your aggression and anger out on your comrades. They're not the source of your anger so stop treating them like they are. There is one thing I value on my squad and that's trust. Without it this squad wouldn't be known as one of the Scout Regiments elite squads. Every single one of you that I chose has earned my trust and respect. You do something to mess it up, it's gone for good." I said nothing as I stared up at Captain Levi. He gave a blank stare before he gave a sigh.
"You've got a good head on your shoulders, brat. You're a damn good soldier and you proved to me again today on why you belong on this squad. There's been something about you that I find familiar. Today opened my eyes to what that was." I furrowed my brows in confusion.
"What's that?" I questioned.
"You remind me of myself when I was your age. Angry at the world just because of the shitty cards life dealt you." I stared at Levi in surprise.
"How did you deal with it…the anger I mean?" Levi leaned his head back and stared at the stars.
"I use it. I've gotten good at storing that anger then releasing it during the heat of battle. It's that anger that fuels me to keep going. It's how I've fought the Titans as long as I've been with the Scouts." Levi stared back down at me.
"Use that anger that you've been carrying. Tuck it into the recess of your mind and leave it there. Don't call on it until you need it to fight." Levi advised me.
I watched as Levi stood back up, "Now, I need to get back before Hange goes too far without me there." He turned to leave.
"Captain." He stopped and looked over his shoulder, "You mentioned before that Kenny was the one who raised you. Earlier, he mentioned that I looked exactly like somebody he once knew. You have any idea who he meant?" Levi turned his body sideways.
"I was thinking about that myself earlier. Sorry to say, but I don't have a clue. Kenny wasn't exactly the sharing type. Who knows, maybe we'll get some answers out of him when we catch him. Come back inside once your head is clear and apologize to your squadmates." Levi ordered.
"Yes, sir." I agreed. He turned back around and walked back into the cabin. I didn't say it outloud but I really appreciate the talks with the Captain. Underneath his usual cool and cold disposition, he genuinely cares for each and every one of us Scouts. The fact that he took away his own time to talk to a troubled subordinate proves it.
I moved my body and laid down flat on the grass beneath me. My arms and legs sprawled out. I stared blankly at the shining starry night sky. I lifted my left arm and reached it out to the sky. I closed my hand as I continued to stare up. Part of my mind wonders if he's staring at the same night sky too right now.
Reiner's P.O.V.
Reiner laid on his back on his bed cot on top of Wall Maria. Soft breathing sounds of Bertholdt sleeping in his cot next to him filled the air. He lifted his hand up as he stared at the two neatly folded letters. He said nothing as he tucked them into his chest pocket. He made a promise to Ymir to get her letter to Historia. The other one…well that was for Viv from him.
He turned his gaze back to the stars above. His eyes followed a shooting star that went across the night sky. His brows furrowed together as sadness gripped him.
"I wish I could see her one more time. Once more before going back home and possibly never seeing her again." He whispered quietly to himself.