The Night of the Afterlife

by Dean Fiora

It's 1939. West and Gordon, dead for years, are spending eternity exploring the universe-until a mysterious force propels them back to Earth. The Secret Service provides the agents with robotic bodies so they can fight Miguelito Loveless III, who has inherited his grandfather's scientific genius and penchant for human destruction. He is also allied with Adolf Hitler! [In progress.]

1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

It was 1939. The Great Depression was ten years old. Americans with twenty-five cents to spare flocked to the movies for Gone With the Wind, The Wizard of Oz, and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Other notable events included the Hindenburg disaster, Germany's invasion of Poland, and the launching of the Manhattan Project.

Not that James West and Artemus Gordon knew any of this. Artie had died in 1917, while Jim followed seven years later. When they found each other in the Afterlife, Artie exclaimed, "James, my boy, I have a capital idea! Let us spend eternity exploring this vast and glorious universe." West agreed, and they were off.

Fifteen years passed, during which the men—specifically, their souls—glided through the cosmos, taking in the endless magnificence of space.

Artie motioned to the planet below them. "I do believe that's Saturn."

"Isn't where Morn, Pan and Alna were from?"

"You're thinking of Venus."

"Oh, of course." West gave a chuckle. "What did we call that case again?"

"The Night of the Flying Pie Plate."

"I didn't believe their story for a moment. Did you?"

"Of course not, Jim! It was the 19th century. No enlightened person believed such nonsense."

"The townspeople did."

"I said enlightened."

They laughed and descended to the planet. As their disembodied souls floated across Saturn's surface, Artie asked his friend, "Ever miss being alive?"

"Not at all!"

"There's nothing you miss about it? Not even the women?"

"You know, Artie, it's funny. Since I got here, I haven't once wanted a woman. Have you?"

"Not in the least. I guess being dead does that to you."

"Besides, look at us. We're spending eternity as we did in our prime. We both lived to eighty-two, but we don't look a day over thirty!"

"That is nice, isn't it?" Pausing, Artie mused, "Can you believe it, though? We've done this for who knows how long, and we're still in our own solar system. I can't imagine what else is in store for us!"

xxx

They were on Jupiter when they first heard the voices.

A man called out, "James West," while a woman cried, Artemus Gordon!" They seemed to come from a boundless void.

West, floating above the planet's surface, whirled around in a circle. "Did you hear that?"

"I heard something, but who else is out here?"

West cupped his hands over his mouth. "Hello! Is anybody there?"

Silence. Then the voices again. "James West!" "Artemus Gordon!"

Artie shouted, "Who are you?"

"Please," said the female voice. "We need you."

"For what?" West called back.

Silence.

"I don't know, James. As my great-aunt Maude said, 'A disembodied voice never ends well.'"

"Did she really say that?"

"Did I really have a great-aunt Maude?"

The male voice pleaded, "Please, gentlemen! We need you desperately."

Artie said, "I don't like this, Jim. Let's get out of here."

"It might be better to confront them."

"What if they're old enemies seeking revenge?"

West chuckled. "You know better than that. Our old enemies are all in the other place."

"Then who are they?"

"Let's find out."

"I'd rather not."

West called out, "How do we find you?"

"Just follow our voices," the woman replied.

Artie groaned. "Jim, this is not going to end well. Let's stick to our plan and just explore the universe."

"Plenty of time for that. Besides, I'll admit I'm intrigued."

Artie shook his head. "Even in death, you can't resist a woman."