Record That
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN EVANGELION, NOR ANY OF THE SONGS! DON'T SUE ME!
Chapter 22: Memories
Technically, this was the boy's first ever kiss. In another life, which was technically his future, his first kiss was to be with one German redhead who secretly really liked him. She also hated the bluenette with all the passion of a demon. So, if Shinji was smart, he would've pulled away immediately and told her to save it for another day. Then gently turn her down the next time they meet, perhaps continuing on as friends.
However, it is often said that a man has three brains. One in his head, one in his heart, and the other was in his crotch. Yesterday, or at least Shinji assumed it was yesterday, had been a trial. A test to decide if it was worth it to continue on living. So, sense the answer was yes, at least for now.
Why not reap the rewards? Especially when Rei was so ready and willing. She practically pushed him onto the hospital bed again. Following him and making her best effort to not break contact with his lips. Shinji rewarded her by not only returning the favor through his mouth and tongue.
His hands quickly stroked her body, not being too rough, but applying enough pressure to really feel her. It came off as a nice massage, though it did semi-ruin her uniform. She didn't mind, as it seemed he wasn't eager to grope her in the most sensitive regions. Instead, he was truly taking in the moment and letting his instincts take over. Showing how truly good he was, even when giving into his urges.
Which was a nice change of pace considering how bad he could be to other human beings. Especially his female co-pilots, but thankfully that was in the near future. For right now, he was in the present. Taking in the moment in all of its glory and so was she. Rei really started to make it clear what she wanted, by grinding on him. At first, Shinji was immensely turned on by this and grinded with her in rhythm.
Then, the turn offs began to take form. While the two were rubbing each other's bodies together, turning their clothes into wrinkly messes. Shinji noticed that while he was giggling and trying to attempt a deep kiss. He only heard her heavy breathing, that seemed to drown out her moans. It was as if she was gasping for air instead of trying to make seductive noises.
When Shinji opened his eyes briefly, he pulled back in fright when he noticed that her eyes were still open. Albeit they were half closed, but it was still rather creepy that she was watching him while they kissed. His pull away caused her to become confused for a second, but then tried to find his lips. All while her eyes were still open in that dazed look. It was in those eyes, that Shinji saw something…he saw the future and what she really was.
She was one of many, hundreds if not thousands. All floating in an LCL chamber, ready to be used at a moment's notice. This one that was kissing him was only the third. However, her emergence was not supposed to be this early. While it was destined that she was to die and another Rei was to take her place.
It was not until after the sixteenth angel, Armisael, where she would meet her fate. However, thanks to the reflection, the order of Rei's appearances had been tampered with. Though, that wasn't the worst part, for Shinji saw even more. First was a moment when his mother was pregnant with him. Her and Gendo were talking to each other about what they would name him.
"If it's a boy, Shinji. If it's a girl…"
Rei…Rei was his mother. The second thing he saw was his father mixing the DNA of his dead wife. With those of a strand of Lilith, the second Angel who had secretly created humanity. While the child that was produced wasn't entirely Yui Ikari. The DNA within her body was essentially the same strand that Shinji had been given when he was born.
Those very same lips that kissed him now. Were essentially his…sister's. It disgusted Shinji down to his core, his entire body froze and the boy almost vomited. Thankfully, Rei noticed this, a change in his aura indicated that he wasn't enjoying this anymore. She pulled back in confusion, with the same dull look.
"Is something wrong, Shinji?"
The boy didn't know what to do. He felt as if the entire world was trying to disgust him in every way, shape, and form. Was he doomed to never find love? Even from girls his age, one he was destined to choke to near death. The other was his fucking sister.
Shinji layed there in silence for a minute or two staring up at the ceiling. Away from the girl, until Rei realized he wasn't going to kiss her back. So, she picked herself up and off of him. Straightened her clothes out and then proceeded to the door. To which she then turned around with a visibly sad look.
"I'm sorry that I'm not attractive to you anymore."
For a few seconds there was silence, but right as Rei was about to leave. That's when Shinji finally spoke.
"I know what you are, Rei."
The girl turned around, wondering what he meant by that. When she looked back at him, he was staring at her with a hundred yard look. One that saw into her soul. It was the look of a veteran who had seen horrific things that no sane person should witness. Yet, it was on the face of a fourteen year old boy.
"I've seen…everything. From your creation, to what you were supposed to be. A sacrifice, a martyr, a vessel to become God."
Shinji's voice had changed from a girlish inexperienced child. To a gruff and pained groaning tone. Almost as if it hurt Shinji to even speak. It was intimidating, but also interesting to the young girl. Though she didn't know if it was attractive, considering how scary this information was to her.
If Shinji knew about the scenario, then everything Gendo had been working too for so many years. Would be destroyed and the world would be at the complete mercy of SEELE. Rei didn't know what to do, Shinji was imperative to the plan. Yet, if he knew too much. Then Rei's orders were to kill anyone who found out said information.
Not to mention, she was feeling an overwhelming attraction to him. She was being torn apart by three things. Her duty to protect the scenario, to save Shinji's life, and to keep him in ignorance of the greater plan. It was in this mindset of going back and forth over what she wanted to do next. When Shinji got up and began to approach her.
"My father, he's given you orders to kill anyone who knows too much. So, how do you plan on dealing with me?"
Once he was close enough, he took her hand and placed it on his head.
"I know your powers. Your AT-Field could crush my skull in a second. So, why don't you do it?"
Rei started to tremble and withdraw her hand. Yet Shinji held it in place. Almost painfully so, all while his gaze started to make her cry. His judgeful and angry look was unlike anything she had experienced. Especially from someone she was so attracted to.
"Lacking motivation? How about this, I never want to look at you again. You are the walking embodiment of everything I hate in this world. From being the embodiment of my dead mother coming back to life, to the fact that you were created with the goal in mind. To seduce, isolate, and torture me to the point of insanity.
I hate you, Rei. I will never love you. Now…kill me."
This worked, Rei truly hated Shinji for saying that. Though, she still didn't have the strength to kill him. Because he was right. She was created to be there for him just enough. That she would be nothing more than an assistant.
A body to talk to and nothing else. How can someone like that be worthy of someone else's love? Rei, instead of growing angry, began to grow sad. She dropped to the floor crying. Surprising the jaded Shinji on just how life like she had become.
One moment she was expressive as a doll. Now, she was like an actual little girl. Hurt and backed into a literal corner. Shinji wanted to feel bad for her. Then he remembered her giant face edging him on during the Third Impact. She was still part of the problem…or was she?
"I'm…(sniff)...sorry." Rei cried.
She never cried like this. No where Shinji looked into the future, Rei was never this emotional. What had changed her so much that she was this different?
"Sorry for what?" Shinji asked, rather demanding.
"For…everything, I…I…I don't know what to say. Other than, you're right. I'm sorry, but…I can't kill you. No matter how much you know. Because you deserve so much better than anything from me."
Shinji was really caught off guard by this. Now Rei started to sound like himself in these kinds of situations. The iron grip that Shinji still had on Rei's hand began to loosen. Until it dropped to the floor with her. As he looked down at her, Shinji realized.
This was not the same Rei from the timeline he was now familiar with. A new, innocent girl, who while still controlled by his evil father. Had a new chance at redemption, and could be of use to his…
"Oh God." Shinji said, realizing something as he stepped back. "I'm…I'm becoming like my father. I'm becoming like…him."
Rei noticed how tense Shinji had become. Though she didn't entirely know what was wrong with him becoming like his father.
"That's okay." Rei told him.
Shinji then shot his familiar thousand yard look towards her. Asking her non-verbally, 'What do you mean by that?'
"Becoming a strong and competent leader is nothing to be ashamed about. You could even be the leader of NERV if you put your mind to it."
A moment of silence fell between the two as Shinji's expression didn't change.
"No." He said plainly. "I don't care if I end up dead and alone. I'm never becoming like my father."
Rei simply looked away, embarrassed and scared.
"I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone."
"I'm sorry as well." Shinji responded.
Rei looked back in astonishment.
"What?" She asked.
"You're an innocent person in this whole ordeal. A girl created to be one thing, manipulated and borderline tortured to fit a single purpose. Just…just like me in a certain way. So, I apologize for hurting you. Though, you did force my hand when you tried to fuck me."
Shinji said that last bit with a slight smile. It grew to a bigger smile when Rei's face became incredibly red. Causing him to laugh as well.
"You're so strange, Rei. I've known you…or, I feel like I've known you for a while and I've never seen you like this. All emotional and wanting me and all. What happened?"
This question gave Rei enough strength to stand up. While her embarrassment hadn't fully left her face. The ability to explain herself to the boy whom she felt like she hurt the most for simply existing. Gave her enough of a purpose to stop cowering in a corner.
"Well, I'm sure that you know that I am not the original Rei. Nor the one you met when you first came here. However, that doesn't change the fact that you made me feel…so alive."
The way she said that. Such sensuality in her voice made Shinji tense up again. He was not supposed to be turned on by her. She was his sister. Rei noticed this and tried to reorient herself.
"After the version of me that was taken away to the hospital. You visited me right before you got in the EVA and…you did things to me that….."
She became incredibly red in the face again and looked away. While Shinji was starting to catch on to what was really happening.
"Rei, I never visited you before I went out in the EVA." He said plainly.
"What?" Rei asked, confused. "But…but I have such a clear memory of you."
"Are you certain that it was me?"
"I…yes, the past me even went out to look for you. To make sure that you were alright. Before, well, she died."
"Because of what?"
Rei stayed silent for a second. Shinji could tell that her brain was hurting just trying to make sense of what her old memories were. So, he decided to help her with that.
"Rei, that wasn't me. Or…it's not the version of me that you're talking to right now."
Silence.
"What?" Rei asked.
"You know what. We can talk this out later. Just remember this, you were given lots of drugs by my father and Dr. Akagi to keep your emotions in check. Sleeping with that version of me has just awakened your true emotions. And even more so now that you have a new body that's not badly bruised and broken. I'm guessing you didn't take any of the medicine that they gave you?"
Rei started to look embarrassed again.
"Good." Shinji said before she could say anything. "Keep it that way, but also, don't let them know."
The boy then got close to her. So he could whisper this in her ear. Which was rather awkward considering how attractive he was to her. As well as despite being technically related to her. Shinji was feeling the urge to keep making out with her.
Though he managed to suppress that feeling long enough to tell her something.
"I can't be with you, we're related technically. Though that doesn't mean you and I can't still be friends…and…" Shinji's voice started to shake as he looked into her red eyes. "And possibly more." He said that last part really fast and made sure to look away from her.
"But seriously, my father will abuse you. Make you his puppet and eventually kill you to achieve his own goals. If you want that, then be my guest. That's what the Rei I know would do. However, you're different, I can tell just by how you're looking at me right now. If you want to live, then do exactly as I say and keep pretending to be your previously bland self. Do you get that?"
Rei silently nodded in understanding, then started to reach out for a kiss again. To which Shinji pushed her back. He was creeped out by her open eyes.
"You're supposed to close your eyes. Like this!" He gave her a slight peck on the lips. "You can still act like a doll and understand that. Especially when you find yourself a real boyfriend."
"Yes, Shinji." Her voice was incredibly shaky and nervous.
"Okay." Shinji sighed at just how ridiculous this all was. "Pretend to follow Gendo's orders, but follow mine instead. Got that?"
Rei nodded again.
"Good, now, let's keep this conversation isolated to this room. Lord knows someone could be…"
A figure was standing outside the door. Watching them through the window. Shinji couldn't make out the figure's face. Just that he or she was very tall and intimidating. As it seemed that their eyes cast a wrathful gaze upon the children.
Like they could set the two on fire right then and there. Though, once they locked eyes with Shinji, the figure walked away. Shinji took after him with Rei in tow. However, once he looked out into the halls. The figure was gone.
The two children explored the place, looking around for any signs of the individual. Well, Shinji looked around, Rei was a bit confused on what was happening.
"Um, Shinji, I don't mind holding your hand. Though I must ask, what are you looking for?"
This surprised Shinji.
"What do you mean? You can sense auras. How did you not see the person spying on us?"
"There was a person spying on us?" Rei replied.
Shinji facepalmed himself.
"Okay, that's a no on if you saw them."
Then, the speakers above that were playing instrumental music started to change. It was very staticy, but vocals could be heard through the garbled noises.
"Every breath you take. And every move you make. Every bond you break. Every step you take. I'll be watching you."
A sudden chill ran through the air. As even Rei was able to hear that. They both understood it thanks to their education in English. Well, for Shinji it was a very recent education, and thanks to it he could tell something. Whatever was doing this, had presumably enough power to rival the reflection.
Another Ancestral had laid its eyes on Shinji, a thousand year old being of unimaginable power. Was now stalking these halls, waiting to strike. When? Neither he or she knew, but they could tell something was coming. As they heard footsteps echoing down the hallway.
Soon, the radio went to complete as Misato Katsuragi turned the corner. She was messing with her phone and didn't fully notice the children yet. For a brief moment, Shinji thought that maybe the phone was messing with the speakers. It was a cell phone, and he heard stories about them messing with airplane communications. Though Rei didn't feel the same way as she quickly got the older woman's attention.
"Excuse me, Captain Katsuragi!"
She looked up from her phone and noticed the children.
"What are you two doing out here?" She asked while walking over. "He's not supposed to be out of his room until we check on him."
"I am aware of that, but we have the feeling that we are being spied on."
Rei said that so matter-of-factly that even though she had professed it with 'we have the feeling'. It came off that it was a fact that someone was following them. So, Misato took them at their word.
"Are you? Alright, follow me, Mr. Ikari, are you good enough to walk great distances?"
"Yes…wait, Mr. Ikari?"
"Oh, do you have another name you'd like me to call you?" Misato asked as she led them down the hall.
"No, but I thought we were on a first name basis? After all, we survived a lot."
"Well we certainly did." Misato smiled. "Though I don't think I know enough about you to start calling you by your first name."
"Really? Huh?" Shinji tilted his head in confusion and nearly bumped into something while walking.
"What's wrong?" Rei asked him.
"Nothing, let's just go." Shinji assured her.
They soon made it to an elevator. Despite being more claustrophobic than the hallways, Shinji felt a little safer with Misato and Rei on his side. Two ladies he'd certainly want to help protect him. One had training in special forces operations and the other was a literal demi-god. Wait, how did he know that first part about Misato?
"So, what was it that you guys tipped you off that you're being followed?" Misato asked them.
"I didn't see anything, but Shinji said he saw someone spying on us when I went to visit him in the hospital room." Rei responded, reddening a bit.
She looked kind of cute when she did that.
"Hmph, checking up on him without our permission? I'll let it slide this time."
Misato's classic sly and sarcastic attitude came back. Especially with her leaning up against the wall and smirking. Even in an emergency situation she'd keep her cool. Years of experiences taught her that much, though underneath that posture and confidence was a fragile person just like Shinji, Rei, Asuka, practically everyone in NERV at the end of the day. Especially when it came to her love with Kaji, a soul mate that meant more to her than anything.
Yet, she let him go, ran away from him because of her own fear. Because of the loss and complex she had left behind from her father. A constant reminder that she was merely human. That no matter what she tried, everyone was destined to die, and while she might get lucky here and there. One day she'd join her father in the great afterlife, like she should've done in Antarctica.
How the fuck did Shinji know this?
"Thank you, though I doubt this elevator will stop this being from tailing us." Rei interrupted Shinji's thoughts again.
"How so?" Misato asked.
"Because it appears to be similar to the being that Shinji fought. A strange corporeal yet physical creature that takes pleasure in torturing its prey before moving in for the kill."
Misato stayed silent for a minute.
"Most of the footage surrounding that monster was corrupted or destroyed. We barely had time to learn about the tentacle freak. Now we have a child stalker on our hands."
Misato folded her arms in disappointment.
"I believe the correct term is child predator." Rei corrected.
The way she said that made both Misato and Shinji both scoff and laugh slightly. They shared a momentary look of understanding. That quickly turned into an intense stare, as soon Shinji felt like he was seeing Misato's entire life flash before his eyes like he just had with Rei. However, thankfully, before his entire brain melted he was disgusted with what Misato had to do during combat missions. He pulled his gaze away at the last moment, making him look like he was sulking and embarrassed when really he was in so much pain.
"Are you alright, Mr. Ikari?" Misato asked.
Shinji sighed, and for once was completely honest.
"No, I'm not, and please. Call me Shinji"
"Alright, Shinji. Well, if it makes you feel any better. I can understand what you're going through. All that saving the world stuff, only for it to be followed by, well, being followed. Life sucks like that sometimes."
Silence for a second.
"Well, don't worry. No matter what comes your way, I'll protect you. It's my job after all, and it seems that all three of us have dealt with much worse."
Her tone was comforting to the boy. As if she was back to the old Misato he was familiar with.
"Thank you." He responded, with a weak smile.
"That made things a little better. Sometimes you just need to be reminded of the reality you live in. Wouldn't you say?"
He tried looking her in the eyes again, this time now flashes of who she was. Though that was because he now knew everything about her. Yet, she seemed to know nothing about him. For what reason, he did not know. Though it didn't matter, because he still enjoyed her soft smile.
"I always try to look at things on the somewhat brightside. Though I'm not always the most successful at it, the key is to keep trying. Because lord knows stopping is only going to make things worse."
"I will take that into consideration." Rei said, listening to their conversation.
"Good, lord knows the time I've known you. You've been a pretty distant girl. It's about time you start looking on the brightside. Start by getting some new friends."
She gestured over to Shinji. The two kids became red in the face again. To which Misato laughed. Soon, the elevator stopped and they started walking down a more open part of the hospital. It seemed like the entrance, which made for a clean getaway if Shinji saw the figure again.
Though what didn't help was the speakers above playing classical music. He knew they could be used for.
"By the way, how do you know this person is stalking you? For all I know, it could've been something out of the corner of your eye. Or even a staff member passing by."
Shinji was about to explain to her what happened, perhaps in a way that didn't sound like complete nonsense. Yet, Rei was there to be oh so handy in sounding crazy.
"While I did not see the figure. It is no coincidence that over the speaker system. We heard through the speakers say 'I'll be watching you.'"
At first, Misato took it seriously.
"Ah, I see. So he's hacking the system. Don't know how he got past Rit's firewall, but perhaps he's just trying to intimidate you."
"No. I don't believe he had to hack the system." Rei responded. "I believe he used a previously existing song to communicate that. As the audio had background music."
"I see, so…wait a minute." Misato stopped.
So did the two children. With Rei looking confused and Shinji being disappointed.
"Are you certain that you're being followed?" Misato asked.
"I believe we are." Rei said, not helping the situation.
Misato's gaze then turned to Shinji. Who looked up from putting his head in his hand.
"Care to explain?"
Shinji sighed.
"Okay, I did see someone. Then after he disappeared the speakers that, as you can hear, are clearly playing music that even a grandma could listen to. Started playing that one song I've heard on the radio a bunch of times. You know the one…."
Shinji prepared his voice.
"Every step you take. I'll be watching you."
He did such an accurate Sting impression that Misato was impressed.
"That's the one." Rei confirmed.
"Thank you." Shinji groaned. "Look, the point is. I know it sounds like I just misheard a song playing on the speakers, but considering the circumstances that I've been in over the past twenty four hours. I've learned to quickly adapt. So, I don't want to be in the same building that a possible foe is in."
Misato's stern face didn't change, but her tone slightly did.
"Okay, but until I get visual confirmation. Don't leave this building."
Misato began to walk back deeper inside.
"Wait, no, don't leave us here."
"Trust me, you're safe. There are staff members and security cameras everywhere. You'll be fine, and stick with Rei."
Rei nodded in agreement, but Shinji still wasn't convinced.
"No, Misato, like Rei said before. This being gave off the same vibe as the monster I fought. I didn't even manage to kill the one. That was my Reflection's doing. I don't want you taking on one of those by yourself. I don't want you to die again."
The silence that followed helped Shinji realize what he just said. Now he really sounded like the crazy one. Even Rei was looking at him weirdly.
"Okay, a lot to unpack there. I'll skip the part about you knowing my name, because we're on a first name basis." She said in a mocking tone. "Even the part about your shadow doing the work for you. So I can get the real creepy part. What do you mean, die again?"
Shinji froze for a brief moment. Because he had the image of Misato slumped over dead next to the elevator. Shot in the back trying to protect him. She died because he was too much of a coward. After that, the entire memory, no, the premonition of what was to come was flowing through his mind.
The hospital itself appeared to him in a wrecked state, flooded with the soldiers gunning down NERV staff. Then, cut to it completely destroyed, the geofront's ceiling blown open. Asuka was dying at the hands of the artificial EVAs. Followed by a giant naked Rei hovering above, converting all of humanity into LCL. The screams, there was so much screaming.
Shinji looked around, with tears in his eyes. Only to be snapped back to reality, by Misato shaking him.
"Shinji!" She shouted.
Silence for a brief moment as he looked her in the eye, then he hugged her.
"I let you down. I let you all down."
"What do you mean?" Misato asked.
"I…know…everything." He said, letting go of her and walking back. The look of shame and horror in his face.
Misato reached out to grab him, but he shook her off. He even pushed Rei away.
"I know everything about both of you. Even what is meant to happen. It's…it's too much."
He started putting his hands to head to message it. As it was really starting to hurt. Then, the image of him putting his on his face started flashing. So he pulled them away. Now, he looked like he was shell shocked beyond belief. Trembling and borderline non-verbal.
As Rei and Misato began asking him if he needed help and telling him to calm down. Yet, all he did was tremble. Looking them in the face while backing away, because he didn't see their normal pretty faces anymore. He saw their corpses, calling him out to him. Then, he bumped into someone standing behind him.
When he turned around, all he saw was a black shadowy figure. He couldn't really make out the details, but he recognized those eyes. Hate filled, hollow, white eyes that stared into his soul. Shinji stood there for what felt like forever, until eventually he blinked. Then, the figure was gone.
Rei and Misato were right behind him. Holding him and trying to get him to communicate with them. Then, when he looked at them again. All he asked was:
"Did you not see that?"
Yet again, on cue, over the speakers. The static began to cut in and ruin the audio. Only to be followed by the garbled noises of a song. A song that Misato recognized as Every Breath You Take by The Police. The children were right, it wasn't all that coincidental.
"Every move you make.
And every vow you break.
Every smile you fake.
Every claim you stake.
I'll be watching you.
Every move you make.
Every step you take.
I'll be watching you."
"Will my pain never end?" Shinji asked, before passing out.
Hey, look at that, it's finally done. Tell me if you've heard this one before everyone? I had the idea for this chapter already fleshed out. Yet when it came to writing it, I kept on messing up and wanting to take my time. To the point where I dragged my feet and I hated myself by the end.
Evangelion Deju Vu wouldn't you say?
Whatever, I'm done, I don't hate this story. I like where it's going. Though I wouldn't mind one day having one of those speech to text things. Or even a super advanced computer that just reads my mind and puts the big events into an outline for the story. Yet, unlike those A.I. bros I wouldn't just post a stupid outline of a story and call it a day.
The future is here, and just like Evangelion. Everyone wants to kill themselves.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy everybody you know. Happy Holidays, and I swear if you have a problem with Happy Holidays than Happy Shut The Fuck Up. Anyway, I'll see y'all in the new year with a new entry in my Star Wars story, The Grey One. Thanks for the feedback, even if it is just a few of you.
Seriously, leave reviews, I want to know how to improve and make this weird ass story better. I want to get the characters right so that way when one of them sings your favorite song. It means something. Oops, did I just spoil that other characters besides Shinji will be taking center stage? I guess you'll have to wait to find out who.
Thanks for the support.
Happy New Year everyone.