Lady Palutena smiled as all of her Smash Brothers related friends came to her room in the mansion, having enlarged it to make enough room for a giant dining table, with all of them sitting down as Palutena stood up. She had an aluminum pole instead of her usual staff.
"My friends, my alternate costumes, welcome one, welcome all. This is Festivus!" Palutena exclaimed as she moved her arms around. "Here, we enjoy the holidays before the holidays."
The Smashers, most of them the newcomers for Smash Bros 4, all gave each other curious glances as Palutena cleared her throats.
"And now, to start things off, the traditions of Festivus begin with the Airing of Grievance." Palutena remarked as she had an angry expression on her face, glaring at everyone. "I got a lot of problem with you people and now you're gonna hear about it!"
"Oh boy, here we go..." Dark Pit scoffed as he placed his right hand on his face.
"I always never liked this holiday..." Pit whimpered as Lucina patted him on the back, trying her best to make him feel better.
Palutena turned to Lucina, pointing at her. "You are a shittier version of an overrated, snobby swordsman that sucks!" The green haired goddess then pointed at both of the Fire Emblem Robins. "You two are blatant Mary Sues who wish to have sex with everyone!" She then turned to Zero Suit Samus and Shiek. "Both of you are just alternate versions of existing girls!" She then turned to Bowser Junior and the Koopalings. "All of you are just tiny versions of your deadbeat father in a dumb cart!" She then eyed Greninja, pointing at him. "You're a dumb frog ripping off the ninja shtick that Shiek is already doing!" She glared at Pac Man and Megaman. "Both of you are outdated third party characters past your prime!" She glared at Shulk. "You're a pervert from the future who wants to feel up everyone!" She glanced across the table at the Animal Crossing Villagers. "You're creepy little freaks who bully everyone and steal their bells behind their backs!" She turned to the Wii Fit Trainers. "You are too obsessed with exercising!" She then looked at the Duck Hunt dog. "You're a trollish character who laughs at everyone's misfortune!" And finally, she turned to Dark Pit, shaking her head. "And you're just an edgy Pit."
"Thanks, mom." Dark Pit sarcastically commented as he rolled his eyes.
"And now, to allow it to roll on, here are the feats of strength!" Palutena stated as she pounded her fists together, a smirk appearing on her face. "Who will be the guest of honor?"
"Oh lord, please not me..." Pit whimpered as he lowered his head in shame.
Dark Pit smirked as he noticed his white winged sibling cowering, pointing at him. "Hey Pal, I think Pit wants to do it!'
"No no no!" Pit exclaimed as he waved his hands in defense.
"Good suggestion, Pittoo!" Palutena exclaimed as she rolled up her shoulder armor, approaching Pit and motioning her hands to herself. "Until you pin me, Pit, Festivus is not over."
"Please... somebody stop this." Pit remarked as he closed his eyes, thinking of this like a nightmare.
"Let's rumble!" Palutena exclaimed as she smiled, placing her hands on Pit's shoulders.
Pit whimpered as he shook his head, waving his hands in defense. "Come on, be sensible!"
"Stop crying and fight your mother figure like a man!" Palutena exclaimed as she attempted to pull Pit towards her, only for the white winged angel to pull back in defense.
"N-no, you can't make me!" Pit exclaimed, being horrified as he heard the other Smashers railing him on.
"You can take her, Pit!" Lucina exclaimed as she cheered Pit on, clapping her hands together.
"Yeah, kick her big fat butt!" Bowser Junior added as the other Koopalings heckled Palutena.
Pit screamed in horror as Palutena wrestled with him, the others cheering on as they were enjoying the sight before them.
"This is the best Festivus ever!" Palutena laughed above Pit's crying, with it snowing outside the Smash Mansion, with it being near the Icicle Mountain, it being night.